Instead
by Nadie2
Summary: This story is an AU story in which Sam and Jack start dating before either joins the stargate program.  It focuses on their family life, but alien and alien viruses are highly involved in that family life.  Starts mid 1980's.
1. Professor

Professor

Sam's POV

May 1988 Air Force Academy Colorado Springs

I think I'm actually going to pass Advanced Strategy. I've never been this close to failing before. My advisor warned me I would fail if I took advanced classes out of my field of expertise. It might have been conceded to take this class, but that wasn't why I failing. I could understand the book perfectly, it was class that was a problem. Colonel O'Neill was-distracting. He was gorgeous, and funny. But all I ever remembered from class was the jokes and his lips moving. Even so, studying would have got me by, if not for the tests. You see I spend more time staring at him than I do actually writing. So, I've been hovering right on the line between failing and passing all semester. I should be better than this, dammit, I graduated from high school two years early for God's sake!

But like I said, pretty sure I'm actually going to pass. Through no effort of my own mind you. No Colonel O'Neill has spent almost the entire final out of my sight. Now the only thing distracting me is the humiliation that my professor, and superior officer knows I've be ogling him all semester. But that was a much smaller distraction. When I finally hand in my paper, I try not to look into those eyes. They are like a beautiful brown black hole from which I can't escape. Just a few more seconds and this humiliation will be over.

I scan through the crowd, no Dad. However, I do see Colonel O'Neill walking toward me.

"Carter," he says, "Congratulations!" The crowd is pushing us toward the doors. When we're a little ways away and standing on the grass he says, "Carter, you're no longer a cadet."

"No, sir!" he says.

"Now, _Samantha_ if you think what I'm about to say is inappropriate just walk out of this room, and we're done. Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me?"

Holy Hannah, he had to be kidding! "Like a date, sir?"

"See now Samantha, you can't call me sir. I you call me sir it's weird, and creepy, and wrong. If you call me Jack we are just two people who may or may not be going on a date."

"Ok, _Jack_, let's go get coffee." Holy Hannah!

"Thanks by the way," I said blushing.

"For what?" he said gathering his things.

"For staying out of sight," I said.

"And why would you need me to do that?" he said in a deadpan voice and a tilt of the head. Oh, he could tease!

I knock my shoulder against his and electricity radiates through me. Ok, so not so much with the touching. At least while still at the academy.

"So coffee," and his voice sounds a little weird. The shoulder bump but him of out of balance too. This could be fun.

Before long we're sitting in a coffee shop (he picked one far from campus) and I almost feel like the 'Sir' and 'Carter' are gone and this is almost normal.

"So Samantha," he says leaning back, "Tell me about yourself."

"Not much to tell," I said.

"You are a genius for starters," he said.

"I almost failed your class," I say.

He smirks, "Which is only interesting, _because_ you are a genius."

"Well, I do usually," I'm laughing, "get good grades. And I skipped a couple grades."

His eyes narrow, "Seriously? How old are you Sam?"

"Twenty," I said.

He flinched, "Did ya have to go and be an extra young student?"

"So what's the damage?" he looks confused, "The difference in our ages, s….Jack?"

"Sixteen," he says with a flinch.

"Not, _so_ bad," I say.

"It was better when you were twenty-two," he replied dryly.

I laugh.

"You know Sam, I've told the same jokes since I started teaching. Five semesters of the same jokes, 50-60 students a semester, and you are the first one who EVER laughed. And you never missed a joke. Which is amazing since apparently you didn't pick up anything else I said."

"Ok, Jack, can we stop talking about that now," I said blushing.

"It's good you're obvious Sam, otherwise I wouldn't have the guts to ask out a _former_ student," he said.

I slit my eyes at him, "Ok, so Jack, tell me about yourself."

He smiles, "Well, went to military academy, did some black ops missions you are never going get to hear about, and then started teaching."

"Black ops eh?" but he cuts me off.

"I swear to God, Carter if you ask me if I ever killed a man…"

"Not _that_ young, Jack," I say, and suddenly he was laughing at _my_ joke.

"I was going to ask if you spoke Arabic," I told him.

"Yeah," he says.

"I'm working on learning it now," I tell him.

"Hope you're not looking for a tutor, because we know how well that would work out," he said. I want to nudge his shoulder, but we know how that would work out too.

"So why the air force, Sam?"

"Well, sort of a family legacy thing. But the real reason is the air force has fast planes. Also a good stepping stone to being an astronaut."

"Astronaut," he repeats, "I like it."

"Jack, you are way less of an ass then a lot of officers," I tell him.

"I like women," he said with a grin.

"Particularly young ones," I put in.

"Oh, so we can joke about _that_ now?" he asks.

"You can tease, I can tease," I said.

"Phone call for Jack O'Neill," the waitress calls. When he goes to answer he is not far enough away that I can't hear him, "Yeah, Becca? What? Ok. No don't worry about it. Yeah, I'll be there in a little bit." He hangs up and comes back to the table, "Look, Sam, I've got to leave, but it has nothing to do with you."

"Right, Becca," I said. Shit! Should not have said that out loud.

"Becca is my babysitter," he says.

"You're a little old for a babysitter," I say.

"Yeah, but my three year old son, Charlie, isn't," he says.

"You have a kid," I say smiling. Inside I'm trying to figure out if kids like me. Don't want to mess this up.

"Yeah, you like kids?" he asks concerned. He doesn't want this to come between us either. And I bet he didn't mean to bring this up today.

"Yeah," I say smiling.

"Ok, I've gotta get going then," Jack says, but he's not actually moving.

"Oh, sorry Jack, here let me give you my number," I scribble it down, and look up to his face grinning.

"Your face is very young when you smile," I say.

"Age, is just a number," and he points at me with two fingers, and slips his sun glasses into place. I sit there for a while stunned, and with a smile on my face. So, Colonel O'Neill likes me as much as I like him.

"Uh, Sam?" Great phone conversation starter, Jack. But hey, guys do have the harder part here, so I'll be nice.

"Yeah, Jack how are you doing?"

"Well I'm breaking the rules." He says. Shit. Is he getting in trouble? All we did was have coffee! But he must have known what I was thinking, because he rushes on. "I mean, three days right? You're supposed to wait three days before you call the girl."

"Oh, right, yeah, but out first date got cut off," I stammer.

"Yeah, that was my thought," he pauses, "Either that or I just need to see you again," and he laughs, but he also wants me to know it's true.

"I'm glad you broke the rules, Jack."

I hear his smile, "Yeah, me to, Sam. So, I was thinking tomorrow? I know it's too quick, but we're working around Rebecca's schedule here, and…"

"Tomorrow sound good, Jack."

"Breaking another rule asking you the day before," he mutters.

"We've established you brake rules, Jack, get over it," and he's laughing into the phone.

Turns out I'm really glad he kind of asked me last minute, because by the he picks me up the next day I have totally started to panic. He has a kid, a three-year old. So that probably means he got divorced not long ago. Then I started to panic that he's still married. I can't BELIEVE I didn't ask before. Because now, it's going to be harder, and more awkward. It takes me until the restaurant to work up the courage to ask him.

"So we didn't talk about family before," I say smiling at him.

"Sure we did," he says with that bewitching grin, "I know you've got family in the air force."

"Uh, right, you probably know all about me from my file," I say wanting to slap myself on my head-of course.

"I don't read those things, Samantha," he says

"Uh yeah, so Dad is in the airforce. Also have a brother who is definitely not in the air force. How about you?"

"Well, Charlie of course. Then my parents are up in Chicago, and I have a saint of a Grandmother who has this amazing cabin in Minnesota."

"Right…well, do you have some other family…uh….in the area," oh smooth Sam, smooth.

"Sam, if you want to ask about Charlie's mother, just do it," he says _enjoying_ my discomfort.

"Ok, Jack, what about Charlie's Mom?" I ask.

He clears his throat and looks away from me, "My wife, Sarah, died when Charlie was three months old."

"Oh my God Jack, I'm so sorry," and before I even know what I'm doing my hand is on his, "What happened?"

"Car accident," he says, looking away for a moment then he focuses again, "This place has good steak. They cook it in beer. Everything is better cooked in beer."

"That how you cook, Jack?" I ask.

"Yeah, when I absolutely have to cook; I give everything a good dousing with beer, sure," he says, "It's good on steaks, but you know what it is best on? Omelets," he freezes, "That sounded more innocent my head."

Now I am enjoying _his _discomfort, "Maybe I'll have to sample your fine breakfast making skills sometime Jack."

"So you didn't mention your Mom before, mind if I ask?" he says.

My chest tightens up, but he deserves this. He told me about his wife, "She died when I was fourteen. Car accident." I feel his hand quiver underneath mind, and those eyes lock on mine. I'm lost in those chocolate brown black holes, and I hear him saying, "Shit! Sam."  
>"So tell me about Charlie," I say, breaking contact with his event horizons disguised as eyes.<p>

"Sam, don't you know better than to ask a parent about their kid? Usually results in hours of boredom."

"Wouldn't be bored," I said with a smile.

"Well, he's three. He has more energy than an atomic bomb, and is about as destructive as one. His grammar is atrocious, and his vocabulary precocious. He's obsessed with aliens. Alien pajamas, alien toys, alien blankets, alien books. He went through a phase where he wouldn't eat anything that didn't look like an alien. So I'm trying to shape grapes into Jabba the Hutt, and I'm going through green food coloring like no body's business. Finally convinced him that if he ate it out of an alien shaped bowel it would still count. You know how many times I washed that thing?"

I'm laughing so hard I'm almost falling over.

"That phase is thankfully over, and he'll eat normal food, again. But he's still pretty big on the aliens," he finishes.

"He sounds adorable," I say.

"Yeah, I did his room up in aliens when the phase started. Little green men all over the walls. He's got a cancellation chart on his ceiling, and everything."

"You interested in stars?" I ask.

"I'm certainly no astrophysicist, like you missy, but I know my way around a star chart. I've got a good telescope at home," he says.

"Really? I used to have an amazing telescope. But it got broken during one of the moves."

"One of the dangers of being an air force brat, eh?" he says sadly. He opens his mouth to say something and shuts it. I know what is going on. He wants to invite me over to look through his telescope. But if he does it will sound like he's invited me over for something else. I just smile at him, telling him that I understand without telling him, and we switch topics yet again. We're going through them like lightning.

"So how many states did you live in growing up?" he asks.

"Eleven," I say, "How many have you been stationed at so far?"

"Well, since most of my work was out of country only three. What was your favorite base?" he asks.

"Bitburg Air Base…"

"In Germany," he finished.

"You were stationed there?" I asked.

"Not exactly, spent a little time there though, mostly saw the infirmary."

"Oh, sorry. Uh, had my tonsils out in that infirmary."

"Nice view in the infirmary, actually as far as places to recover from head wounds, it was one of the better ones," he pauses, "Now was that the place that had the extraordinary jello?"

"Yes! Thank you! Everyone told me it was just like all the other jello, but it wasn't. It was like…a million times better, and it wasn't just because that was all I was allowed eat!" I explained.

"Yeah, haven't been able to eat jello since," he said shaking his head, "It's like all other jello is a shadow of that stuff."

"For me it's the opposite. I keep eating jello thinking maybe one day…I don't know it will taste like that again."

"Life doesn't usually work that way Sam. You usually just get something one time. But if you are lucky, the next thing you get is just as good, and the thing after that, is maybe just a little bit better. Might miss something better longing for something good."

"What could possibly be better than jello, Jack?" I ask.

"Cake, Sam, cake," he grins. "Speaking of which, want dessert?"

"Anything, to draw out this experience," I said.

"I don't think you're supposed to say that out loud," he teases.

"If you can break rules, so can I," I say.

Our third date was even less ordinary than all the others. He called me up, probably planning a date for later. But he picked the wrong day, or the right one depending on how you look at it.

"What was wrong, Sam?" his voice is full of concern.

"Nothing, just not a good day," I said.

"Don't play poker, girl," he says.

"Actually I'm quite good at poker, especially some varieties," I'm trying to sound suggestive.

"Even your jokes are choked in tears. I'll be over in a bit. I've got a neighbor who can watch Charlie."

"No, Jack, I am not fine. But I will be fine. It's just today. I just need to be alone for one day."

"No, Sam, I'm coming." I think he's hung up and then he adds, "I know the darkness thing. I've done the darkness thing."

He comes over, and I consider not letting him in. But he could get obnoxious, and I don't need him annoying my neighbors.

"Please, Jack, go," I say cracking the door open. Then he's holding me, and I bawling in his shoulder like a baby.

"I've got you Sam, let it out," he says.

"I'm better than this," I mutter into his shoulder.

"Really? When did you transcend the rest of us mere mortals? Everyone cries sometimes, Samantha."

He lets me sob until it's gone. "Going to tell me what's wrong?" he asks. I shake my head, "Ok, I'll start the talking. Three years ago I was doing black ops." I staring at him, he can't possibly be going to tell me about Sarah's death, could he? "I was gone, all the time. Charlie was three months old, I'd seen him maybe ten, twelve days of his life. And when I was home. Your Dad do back ops?" he asks. I shake my head, "It's not something you leave at work. It follows you Samantha. So I'm home, but I'm being chased by ghosts of people I didn't save, and things I was ordered to do. I came home one night. It was a bad mission. A really bad mission. The kind of mission where the rest of your team is still in the infirmary or some body bag," he pounds on the couch with his fist, "and you are going 'why the hell am I still alive.' I come home, and I all want to do is drink about six beers and curl up the fetal position, hoping, hoping, the memory is gone come morning. I get home and Sarah is there, and she's alive. You know I don't mean not dead, I mean," he puts his hands up and makes a face. I nod, I know what he means, "And I'm almost mad at her, because she doesn't get it, Sam. She's never felt the darkness. And she's holding Charlie, and she says, 'We need diapers, Jack.' And I really don't want to go get the diapers, I mean really, really, don't want to go get the diapers. I want to curl up in a ball and die. So I say, 'Can you get them?' And I think the reason she tried to get me to go, is she didn't want me alone with Charlie. I don't know if she trusted me with him or what. But when you feel like that…a babies face can make it better, a little better, as good as anything can. So I pick up Charlie, and she gives me a sad half smile, and she goes and gets the diapers." He pounds on the couch again. "I should have got the goddamn diapers, Sam."

I'm holding him, and he cries for a while, "Drunk driver. Should have been me."

"No Jack, it should have been no one."

"I should have gone for the diapers," he chokes out.

"You didn't know Jack. It was not your fault," I say, holding him closer.

"You would not forgive so easily if it was someone you had loved, that I killed."

"Yes, I would. And you didn't kill her." He's staring at me, "My mom was coming home from visiting her parents. My dad was supposed to pick her up at the airport. But he was running late. Dad was always running late. Some big important air force thing. He didn't show, and she gets into a taxi. There was an accident. Drunk driver, too. At first I was furious with Dad. I thought if he had just been there for us, just one time been where he said he was going to be when he said he would be there, none of this would have happened. We would still have our mother. But then I realized. It doesn't really work like that. Maybe they both would have died. Maybe the stupid drunk would have hit someone else, and changed the whole course of history. And maybe everyone would have been fine. But it doesn't really matter, because none of those maybe's happened. And my Dad didn't mean to hurt her. He would never mean to hurt her. And you didn't mean to hurt Sarah. Shit happens, Jack."

He's leaning against me. "After she died, I felt like I was stuck in mud. Like the mud was strangling me, and I couldn't get free, couldn't do anything. My grandma, the one with the cabin, she flew down to help me. Took care of Charlie, cause I sure as hell wasn't functioning. After a bit she got sick of my moping, my guilt, my inability to move. She started reading me statistics about kids who grow up with depressed parents. Not good outcomes. But that couldn't even get through to me. One day she left me alone with Charlie, and went to get groceries. She comes home and Charlie is crying, he's been crying for like half an hour, and I just couldn't…I couldn't get up a care," I'm looking away so he can't see the judgment in my eyes. But I'm pretty sure he knows about it anyway, "And she calms Charlie down, and then she walks over to me and slaps me in my face," a ghost of a smile covers his face, "here this sweet old woman who literally won't kill flies in her house is slapping her only grandson. And she says to me, 'You may think you have a choice, but you don't. Because you survived. You have a son. You will buck up and be a father, because he lost a mother. He doesn't need to lose another parent.' And I did. You know. I picked him up. I fed him. I changed him. I talked to him. I played with him. I got switched off black ops so I could be there for him. I started teaching. Started living. Got better. And the mud, some days it sticks to my feet. But it doesn't choke me anymore. 'Cause my son needs his dad."

"Yeah, I uh, get the mud thing Jack," I say.

"So what I need to know is the mud around your neck, or under your feet. What kind of help do you need?" he says rubbing my back.

"It's been six years since my mother died," I say.

"I don't think that matters," he says.

"I mean exactly six years," I repeat.

He takes me into his arms again, "Before you said-tough day, you will be fine." I nod. "So you are usually fine? Cause I could get my Grandma down here to bitch slap you."

I'm laughing. I can't believe I'm laughing. "One day a year the mud swallows me up, the rest of the time I trample all over it."

"Sam," he whispers in my ear, "You aren't going to have to be alone on your choking day, ever again, ok?"

And he's stupid to make that promise. Because we've been going out less than a week, and only one normal full date. But I like the promise anyway. And we cry, and talk. And after I tell him how my mom used to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," he makes me tell him all the verses. And he sings it in English, and Arabic, and Irish. And then he holds me until I fall asleep.

When I wake up I'm not surprised he's gone. He has Charlie after all. But he's left something behind. A little shovel. And no note. But I know what it's for. It's to dig myself out of the mud.


	2. The Offer

Jack's POV

May 1988 Colorado Springs

I've had obsessions before. I, like my son, had an alien obsession. I had a dinosaur obsession. A star trec obsession I still wouldn't admit to. I been obsessed with chocolate ice cream cones, and taking out all the other kids in a snow ball fight and the engine of my father's truck. For while I was serious obsessed with the feeling you get when you're flying a little plane, hockey and Mary Steenburgen. But I have never, ever, in my life been obsessed like this.

Samantha.

I just want to skip all this crap, this dating stuff, and get to the happily ever after. But then I think I'd look back and miss all of it. Long for it. But I just feel like I don't want to waste any time, and I feel like I know her already. But I don't want to freak her out. After all, she's YOUNG.

So after our whole crying on each other's shoulders until late in the night thing I decided to give her a couple days. And I need that time anyway. To try to talk myself out of the date I want to take her on. But a couple days isn't enough time. So I go for it. We've agreed not to follow the rules.

She arrives at my house, and she looks nervous. Terrified to meet my son. He walks up to her and announces, "Me shy," and he peeks out from around my leg, "anxious, actually."

I'm laughing as her eyes pop out of her head. I warned her bad grammar, precocious vocabulary. "You are not shy Charlie, why do you keep telling people that?" I ask him.

He tilts his head and looks at me, "Me is shy Daddy!"

"Ok, whatever kid," I say.

Sam smiles at him, "Well, I have a little present for you Charlie," she says holding her hands out in front of her. She makes him pry them open, and inside is a little plastic alien. His eyes light up. "It glows in the dark," she informs him.

Charlie is rushing off to try it.

"Resorting to bribery are we Samantha?" I ask.

"Not above if," she replies.

Of course, since she gave him an alien, Sam is Charlie's new best friend. I think she probably would have been anyway. He can't get enough of her. He's clinging to her, sitting on her, talking to her.

"Sam, believe you in aliens?" he asks.

"Well, Charlie, I think it is a very big universe, and there are a lot of stars, with a lot of planets. Then you think about all the different ways that life could evolve, and I think there is a pretty good chance there is intelligent life somewhere out there. But it probably doesn't look like we'd expect."

He narrows his eyes at her, "Sam, aliens look like him," he holds the alien she brought him in front of her face. Way closer than eyes could actually focus on, but kids tend not to pick up on those things.

"Sure, maybe, Charlie," she says.

He looks at her offended, "Not maybe Sam, OVIOUSLY!" Then he turns to me, "Daddy, doesn't Sam have a TV?" he asks in disgust.

"Do you know the difference between fiction and non-fiction?" Sam retorts.

"Fiction is make believe, and non-fiction is real," he says with a roll of the eye. Sam gives me a look of shock, and I shrug my shoulders.

Turns out Sam is great with kids, or at least with my kid. I really didn't have any doubts, but I think she did. Before you know it we're playing tickle monster. She catches us both at once, and for a second the three of us are all in one bundle on the floor laughing. It makes my chest hurt. Because I've never really got this before. Sarah died before we could have this. This family thing. For a second, it's what it should have been. But I try to chase these thoughts away, because Sam's twenty. Probably doesn't want a family yet.

I go to make dinner, and it doesn't turn out well. Turns out Sam's a bit of a control freak.

"Jack, you just chopped vegetables on the cutting board you cut the meat up on," she informs me.

"So?" I ask. She makes a face which suggests this is exactly the kind of act for which they held the Nuremberg Trials.

She nudges me out of the way, and starts cutting. So I move over the stirring the sauce. This is an activity I do not think I could screw up. Turns out I'm wrong. "Jack, that spoon will scratch that pan, here let me," Pretty soon I'm sitting at the table, and Sam is doing all the cooking intermingled with disparaging comments about the quality of my kitchen utensils.

Then she serves the meal. Charlie's plate is arranged like an alien. I give her a glare, we really don't need to encourage that one again. He takes one bite looks up at Sam and says, "Incredibly scrumptious." And that is the moment when Charlie stole Sam's heart.

I take a bite and am inclined to agree. "Doesn't seem fair Sam."

"What?" she asks.

"Beautiful, genius, funny, _and_ a fabulous cook, did ya leave any good traits for the rest of us?"

"Oh, I think you got quite a few yourself, Jack," she smiles at me and then adds half under her breath, "but not the cooking part."

"No," Charlie says whispering to Sam, "Daddy's cooking is deplorable."

So Sam starts doing the dishes (after I told her she didn't have to) and I go upstairs to get Charlie ready for bed. I come back downstairs, and she's staring at a picture of Sarah.

She turns to me, and her face has a really weird expression, "I look like her," she says in a very flat voice.

"A little," I admit.

"I look like your dead wife," she repeats, horror in her voice.

"God Sam, it's not like that," I say. But she doesn't look like she believes me, "You guys may look a little alike but you are completely different. She liked reading fiction, and watching really girly movies, and flying terrified her. She did not get my jokes, and was sweet, and loving. You like physics, and action, and flying, and the air force-you get the air force. You get my humor, and you are so smart, and strong Sam. You can't compare the two of you. It's like jello and cake."

Her eyes are still locked on the picture of Sarah, "But which one am I Jack? Jello or cake?"

"You are defiantly the cake." And she spins around as kisses me.

She pulls away after a few seconds, "Good answer, Jack."

"So, telescope?" I ask. It's been a long time since I had that much fun. Since I talked to someone who knew that much about something I knew that much about. I know all the constellations and the myths surrounding them. She knows the constellations, and what all the stars are doing, down to a molecular level. I don't actually understand much of the molecular stuff. But that's ok, she spent a semester not understanding advanced military strategy in the same delightful way I spent the evening not understanding astrophysics. We are reluctant for the night to end. But at long last I walk her to her car, and kiss her goodnight.

Jack's POV

July 1998 Colorado Springs

"So where's Dad?" I ask with a smile, her dad was supposed to be celebrating the holiday with us.

"He's not coming," she says pretending she doesn't care.

"You're not serious, what do you mean he's not coming?" I ask looking at her with concern. I mean I know the Fourth isn't the biggest holiday in the world, but the guy didn't show up for her graduation, and now this.

"He got called away on a last minute mission he couldn't make it. I would have told you before, but I found out late last night," she says.

"He told you THE DAY before," I say outraged.

"No big deal Jack, he didn't know before."

"It's a big deal Sam, very big deal," I say.

Seconds later Charlie is running up to Sam, and leaps into her arms. "Bought you a present, Sam," he says. It's folded up in his hand the way the alien she gave him the day they met was. He unfolds his hands and there it is. The Pin. I've spent the last week trying to talk him out of giving it to her. It's a big green alien, it's gaudy, and it blinks.

"I love it!" Sam explains. And I'm flabbergasted. Not that she said that. But that she actually looks like she means it. Either she's a much better liar than I thought or she actually likes The Pin. I think it's got to be the first one. Still, never again am I going to fight a battle about what Charlie gives to Sam. Prepare the way for a lifetime of horrid gifts, I will protect her no more!

She puts it on, and is still gushing about how wonderful it is. I think I'm going to be sick.

"Got you something too," I say.

She unwraps it. "A book on military strategy," she giggles, and I'm not even to the punch line.

"I could read it to you," I offer. And we are both laughing so hard we could hardly breathe.

Charlie is a little offended. I think mostly because this is diverting attention from The Pin. "I no see what you two find so humorous!" This makes us laugh more, "Cease!" he practically shouts getting red in the face, and we laugh harder.

"Dad is a good guy," she insists.

"He just isn't always where he says he's going to be when he says he will be," I say.

"Air forces' fault," she mutters.

"I'm sure he'd be here if he could," I say.

Charlie sighs loudly, "I wish my mashed potatoes looked like an alien," and he gives Sam this incredibly cute look.

Sam reaches over and molds them into an alien with her knife.

"Seriously Sam? You are an enabler," I mutter. She gives her knife a glance of disgust, because it is now covered with mashed potatoes, and she wants to butter her bread. I trade her knifes.

"Your fault for having a cute kid," she mutters. "So Jack, I got this offer today," I force a smile on my face, but my stomach sinks. Sam is way too smart to stick around here for long. But I seriously don't know what I'll do if she leaves.

"They can't actually tell me what I'm going to be doing. Double triple classified. But what they could tell me sounds-amazing. It's just an assistant job, and I planned on going right to grad school, but I don't know might be good to get some real world experience first."

She pauses and obviously expects me to advise her. I'm a little focused on not screaming, "Don't leave Sam" at the top of my lungs, but I manage to string some thoughts together. "It sounds really interesting. Good to live in between all the book learning." Now I ask the question I've been dying to ask, "Where is the offer."

She grins, "Cheyenne Mountain."

"But that is in Colorado Springs," I say.

"Yeah, I'm thinking I like this town," she says with that smile of hers that shuts my brain down. Not like that is hard to do.

I'm deliriously happy. But I can't let her do that. I'd be like building a giant fence so no one can see Mouth Rushmore. "Sam, you can't choose this just to stay by us."

"Oh, either way I'm staying in town," she says, "Well actually grad school would be in Golden, Colorado which is an hour and half away, but there aren't any astrophysics grad school programs closer."

"I bet that isn't the best program in the world." I stay staring her down.

"No, but…" she says.

I cut her off, "You deserve the best."

"I'm getting it," she says patting my hand. Just then a chunk of potato lands on her face. Sam's laughing , and saying something to Charlie about the aerodynamics of his aim.

"Never thought I would be in a situation where _I_ am the bad cop, Sam. Charlie why did you throw mash potatoes on Sam?"

He looks at me like I'm slow and says, "Because you would get mad Dad."

"Well, little boys who throw food are going to have to stay home next time we go out to eat," I say.

"Sorry Dad," he says.

"Sam you can't give up your dreams for us," I say, but I look over at her, and she's looking over at Charlie, like, like a mother, and my heart aches. Two months, and already. "Charlie and I could move, you know, Samantha," I say.

She turns to me, a thousand emotions covering her face, all of them beautiful "No, I think I really what the Cheyenne Mountain job. It's just an assistant position, and I don't want to do it forever, but…I don't know it sounds interesting. There is plenty of time for grad school."

"So when would this new job start?" I ask.

"Not until September why?" she asks absentmindedly spearing a piece of broccoli off my plate.

Charlie is bouncing in his seat, "You said I get to ask her Dad! You said!"

"I did, go ahead Charlie," I said grinning at his enthusiasm.

"Before Daddy has to go back to school in the fall Daddy and I always go to Gran's cabin. This year you are coming," he says with a grin.

"You are supposed to ask her, Charlie," I say laughing as I steal away a slice of Sam's chicken.

He breaks out his very best 'Charlie can get anything from Sam' face and says, "! Pretty Please Sugar on Top?"

"I'd love to go with you guys," she says kissing the top of his head.

"It's for a whole week," I warn.

"Even better, when do we leave?" she says with a grin.

"Tuesday, you do know this will involve meeting the Gran?" I say.

"The woman who slapped you? It will be a pleasure, we can compare notes of Jack control methods," she says with a grin.

"Gran SLAPPED you?" Charlie asks in horror.

"Gran couldn't use most of your methods," I say giving her a kiss.

"Your right," she says, "That would get pretty weird."

August 1998

I wasn't like I was surprised that Gran and Sam got along. They are both strong intelligent women who plan on working or worked in careers virtually shut off to women. Gran was an engineer in the 1920's. What I didn't expect was how WELL the two of them got along. After all there is over all a sixty year difference in their ages. Right away the two are talking, and I think they might be conspiring against me. See, I can't actually understand anything they are saying. They are both talking at once. I'm not exaggerating. They both talk, and they are hearing and responding to the things the other person says. Two conversations going on at once, and my head is hearting.

Charlie is fascinated. Either that or hypnotized. I've long suspected Gran has a way of hypnotizing children to do her bidding. They are cooking right now. Any time I try to go into the kitchen one of them swats me away with a spatula or spoon or rolling pin or towel. They do this without a pause in their double conversation.

"I'm going fishing," I inform them.

"Have fun," they say in unison without breaking the beat in their conversation.

Jeez it's like an episode of the twilight zone in there. I try to save Charlie, but Gran's magic is to strong, and he bats me away never loosing eye contact with the two women. His fingers are fidgeting, just like his father's. He's fidgeting with the alien Sam gave him two months ago. He never lets that thing out of his sight.

A few hours later Sam joins me. I hand her a fishing line, "You like fishing?" I ask.

"I don't think so," she replies, "But I do like Gran."

"Ya think?" I say. I'm about to put the worm on for her, but she takes it from my hand, "I'm a girl, not a wuss, Jack."

We sit there in silence for about five minutes, and she turns to me, "Holy Hannah this is actually fun!"

So I make my confession, "There are no fish in this lake, Sam."

She gives me a weird look. Then she goes back to fishing for a few minutes. "You know what Jack? Still fun."

"Sam, you are the perfect women, anyone ever tell you that before?" I say staring out at the lake.

"Not perfect Jack, just me," she says. "Can I ask you a question?" and there is worry in her voice.

"You just did, but go ahead ask another," I say glancing at her.

"Did you leave, because of what I said in there?"

I laugh, "Sam, I don't have your genius mind. I can only follow one conversation at a time."

"Oh," and she sound relieved.

"What did you think had me on the run, Sam?" I say looking at her carefully.

"Gran was asking about the possibility of future grand kids," she says.

Now I'm worried. Sam doesn't want more kids? But I've seen her with Charlie, why wouldn't she want more Charlies? "And what was your comment?"

"I said someday, a couple more kids would be nice," she says so softly I can barely hear her.

"It would be," I say with a smile that instantly relaxes her, "And a couple would be…" I say.

"Three?" she asks.

"Charlie included?" I ask.

"Of course," she says. Love that, of course, like he's really her son.

"Three sounds like a pretty good number," I say, patting her hand.

"When I thought you were freaked out by the idea of more kids, Jack," she says, "I thought you were nuts, because, seriously Charlie is…"

"Weird," I finish for her.

"Perfect," she whispers, and then she looks at me, "Just like you, Jack."

"Did Gran give you some of her 'special' medicine left over from the sixties in there Sam?" I say. She laughs and leans against my shoulder, and a feeling of peace overwhelms me. "I love you Sam," I say.

Her fingers intertwine with mine, and her head works its way further into my neck, "I love you too, Jack."

"You two get in here and eat this dinner that genius of a woman and I created this instant," Gran calls.

"Time to be confused," I mutter.

"There's cake," Sam informs me.

"What are we waiting for?" I say reeling in my line.


	3. Christmas

Christmas

Sam's POV

December 1989 Colorado Springs

Jack doesn't ask about what I do at work. He knows I couldn't tell him. Worse than that that I would lie. And we would both know was a lie. It is better that he doesn't ask. But I really want to tell him. Worse than anything I've ever done before I want to tell him. Because when I go to work every day I am working on a computer that operates a devise THAT SENDS PEOPLE TO OTHER PLANETS. And I can't tell anyone.

Thank goodness Charlie is done with his alien phase (although he still carries the one I gave him everywhere). Because if I had to listen to a four year olds view on aliens too often I might say, "Ha kid! You've met one! Remember when Sha're babysat you? Well then!" But of course I can't say that, and I wouldn't really want to.

But I do want to tell Jack. Especially now. And I think if he asked me, I would. But Jack doesn't ask me what I do at work.

The other day I saw him throwing out a letter, and saw Cheyenne Mountain on the address line.

"You have to take it Jack!" I exclaim.

"A life of paperwork? No thanks!"

"Not paperwork, Jack," I can barely breathe trying to keep myself contained.

"They don't do missions out of there do they?" he asks.

"Hell yes, Jack," I say trying to keep my enthusiasm down.

"You go on missions?" he says locking eyes with mine and there is concern in them.

"No, not without more education and combat experience, but what I'm doing is….it's pretty amazing," and my eyes are shinning, but he looks relieved, "But Jack this offer…you'd be going through….uh…._you'd_ be going on missions."

"Been on missions before," he says casually.

"Not like this, you haven't" I say.

He looks at me and he knows something is up, "What the hell do they have in the mountain that's got you salivating over it?" he asks. But he waves away the lie forming on my lips, "No, forget I asked."

"Jack, what they have there is better than what NASA has. Don't want to be an astronaut anymore. My dream is now missions…out of Cheyenne Mountain."

"What they have," he says waving the letter, "Is better than outer space to you, Samantha?" he asks.

"Better than NASA, I said, Jack," I grin at him.

"Dangerous?" he asks.

I nod, but that isn't really the point.

"I've got Charlie," he chucks it away.

I pick it up and hand it to him, "We've got Charlie, and I just wish you would say yes, do it for a couple months, and then decide."

"Better plan, Sam, why don't we change things around so we get you on those missions you want so bad."

"Why not both of us?" I ask.

"Let's revisit this after the holidays," he says. And I don't know what the hell that means, but I agree.

The holidays are actually going to be relaxing this year. We had a big Thanksgiving at Jack's Gran's. I got to meet his parents (who I liked, though not nearly as much as Gran) and I invited my brother too, so Jack got to meet him. I invited my Dad to my house for Christmas, but he told me almost a month ago he wouldn't be able to get leave. So for Christmas it's just going to be me and Jack and Charlie at my place. We've just come back from church on Christmas Eve. We are still all dressed up. Charlie wants us to read him "The Night Before Christmas." But Jack forgot it at his house, so Jack and I are trying to reconstruct the poem from memories. Or I'm trying to construct the poem from memory at least. I'm pretty sure Jack's actual goal is to make the world's most absurd rhymes, and to use a lot of bathroom humor. Did you know four-year-olds love bodily functions? It's true.

In the midst of this the doorbell rings, and it's my dad.

Stress level increases. Time for Dad to meet Jack!

"Dad!" I say wrapping my arms around him.

Jack jumps up stands at attention, and I'm not sure, but I think I heard a muffled curse. Let's just hope Dad didn't. Or Charlie.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," Dad says, "I know I turned down your invitation, but plans change."

"No problem, Dad, come on in. This is my boyfriend Lieutenant Colonel Jack O'Neill."

"Pleased to meet you sir," Jack says, saluting and then shaking hands. I have never seen Jack like this. All military and greeting a superior officer. It's funny. I don't know why, but it is. I'm trying not to giggle, and Jack is shooting me dirty looks.

"And this is my Dad General Jacob Carter," I say with a smile.

"At ease already Jack, and we're not at work so call me Jacob," My dad says, sounding friendly. "Now who is this little guy?" he asks Charlie who is hiding behind my legs.

"I'm shy," Charlie proclaims putting out his hand just like his father did.

"You are _not_ shy," Jack says lifting him up and tickling him.

"What is your name?" Jacob asks to the giggling ball in Jack's arms.

"Charlie," it says between giggles.

"Age?" Dad asks.

"Four," Charlie answers.

"Rank and service number?" Jack asks. Charlie stares at him. Dad is wavering between laughing or being offended. I laugh. Dad joins in. Jack looks like relieved. I don't think he thought about that one before it came out. Actually I'm not sure what percentage of Jack's jokes go through his brain before they come out of his mouth.

"Uh, so let me take your coat Dad, you want something to drink?" I ask taking his coat.

"We have some egg nog mixed up, some Guinness, wine," Jack says. I flinch, I can't believe the moron said 'we'. I should have given Jack a briefing on how to deal with Jacob Carter.

"I'll have a beer Jack," he says. And Jack goes to get it.

"This the Professor you wanted me to meet over the fourth?" Dad asks.

"Yes, Dad, this is Jack who I've talked about in pretty much every phone call for seven months," I say.

"How old is he Sam?" Dad asks.

"Seriously Dad?" I beg.

"How old?" He insists.

"Above the legal age for drinking, now play nice," I retort.

"Always nice, Sammy, always nice," he says. Why does Dad always have to be complicated? I love my Dad. But there is always a game between us. We're always trying to convince each other of things. I'm always trying to fool him into thinking I'm perfect. He's always trying to fool me into thinking I matter more than the air force. Sometimes I wish we could just cut the crap, be who we were, and have a real relationship. But cutting the crap right now, would probably mean some insults to Jack's face, so it's time to put on a smile, and play the game.

Jack comes back and hands Dad his beer. Jack smiles at me, that charming smile, and I'm a little bit calmer. With Jack there is no crap. And no lies-he wouldn't even let me lie about work.

Charlie pulls at my shirt, "Is Jacob really your Dad Sam?" I nod. "Does he know 'The night before Christmas'?"

"You know, I don't know, but I bet he does know it better than your father," I tell him. I was definitely right about that.

After the interesting attempt at story telling Jack says it's bedtime for Charlie, and they start to walk upstairs. And I'm scared for a minute that Dad's going to faint.

"You guys are spending the night?" Dad asks, eyes bulging.

Jack freezes, turns, and has an 'oh crap' look on his face, but he covers pretty well, "No, we were just getting our stuff, right Charlie?" There in lay Jack's fatal mistake. You don't say 'right Charlie' to a four year old unless what precedes it is actually the truth.

Charlie starts to bawl, "But I told Santa I would be here. I gave him Sam's address. He'll never find me if we go home!"

"But if we go home," Jack says, "He'll leave the stuff at Sam's and we'll come over early tomorrow and open it."

"Look, I didn't mean to ruin Christmas, just stay Jack," Dad says.

"Yeah, because he might not leave the presents if he knows I'm not here," Charlie says.

Jack is looking at me for guidance, "Look, it's fine Jack. We'll put Charlie in his usual room, Dad can stay in the room you usually use," (lies, lies, hopefully the kid wouldn't rat us out), "and you can stay on the couch."

Jack relaxes a bit, "Ok."

"No, no, couldn't put you out," Dad says.

"It's fine sir, not a problem," Jack says smiling, and making a hasty retreat with Charlie.

"Jack stay over at your house often?" Dad asks.

"Sometimes," I say getting the bedding, and starting to make up the couch.

"Doesn't Jack live in town?" Dad asks.

"Yeah, but sometimes we're doing something with Charlie late or early, and it's just easier. Or sometimes I'm watching Charlie, so he sort of has a bedroom here."

"Stability is important for kids," Dad says.

"I see, and that's why we moved eleven times when I was growing up," I said. Jack was a bad influence. I would have never said something like that to Dad even a few months back. Anyway it shuts Dad up.

"Sam, Charlie wants to say goodnight," Jack calls.

"Be right there!" I call out, finishing smoothing down Jack's pillows. "Be back in a second Dad."

I tuck Charlie in and hear a shred of a conversation as I head down the stairs.

"It hurt her when you didn't show for her gradation," I hear Jack saying. I shut my eyes. Dammit Jack, you don't have to protect me, especially not from Dad. "She'll never admit it, but it hurt her."

"Jack, there is other stuff going on with the me not being able to always show up when I say…things you don't understand," Jacobs says.

"I know about her mother," Jack says softly, compassionately.

"She told you?" Dad sounds confused, hurt, jealous, "She never talks about it."

"Yeah, it came up, uh, a couple of times," Jack says.

There is silence for a bit before I hear, "How old are you Jack? Sam wouldn't tell me." Dad says.

"Thirty-seven, and my services number is 69-4-141, You already know my name and rank, but I think I'm supposed to repeat them anyway…." he replied drily.

"Jack, could ya stop being a smart ass?" I say coming around the corner.

"I could," he replies, "But then you'd get bored."

"Well," Dad says stretching, "I'm going to be heading to bed. But I don't want you guys to disrupt your plans, sleep how you normally would."

I can tell Jack is about to say something, so I cut him off, "It's ok Dad, you take the guest bed, Jack will be fine on the couch."

"Seriously, guys," Dad winks, "do what you want."

Dad disappears heads to his room, and Jack turns like he's going into my bedroom. Seriously, I should have given this man a Jacob Carter briefing a long time ago.

"No, Jack, you are sleeping on the couch."

"Did you hear him?" he asks in disbelief, "He told me to! He partially said 'go sleep with my daughter, Jack.'"

I shut my eyes, "What he SAID Jack was, 'sleep where you normally would'. Very different."

"Come on Sam, I think the man has figured where I normally sleep when I stay at your house," he says.

"Not the point. He probably doesn't even really care where you sleep. He just wants us to have enough courtesy to try and hid it from him."

"That doesn't make any sense," he says.

"No it doesn't. It's not supposed to. It's a crazy game we play. But we are going to play it, and we're going to win."

"Why would he tell me to sleep in your room if he didn't want me too?"

"A trap, Jack, a test, you are dense, dense man. But if you want to be a wuzz I'll sleep on the couch. You are after all older than me, as my father pointed out. You'll lose some points for that, but less."

"I'm taking the couch, Sam," he says plopping down on it as if we're going to fight for it. Jack may have a lot less of the masculine bravo 'no women can beat me' than the average male in the air force, but he still has some to spare.

"We've got to play Santa Clause first, Jack," I say.

"Us" playing Santa Clause turns out to be me searching my house for the gifts Jack hid there weeks ago when I wasn't home (because he couldn't remember where he put them) while he ate the cookies and milk. I finally find all the gifts, and I'm looking at him sitting by the tree with a milk mustache and for a minute I honestly can't remember why I love this man. Then he smiles at me, and I remember-he's Jack.

I come over and sit on his lap. "So how do we win this game you play with your father?" he asks.

"Just pretend to be perfect," I say.

He nozzles his nose next to my ear in a way that he knows drives me nuts, "Easy for you, you are perfect."

"No, I'm not Jack. Just compliment me. Be polite, like crazy polite. Keep your smart ass comments to yourself, unless they are about yourself. That whole self-defecating thing you do, Dad will love that. Pretend your job is the most important thing in the world…"

"Isn't it?" he asks.

"Nope, mine is," I reply, "Talk about the way you saved the world, I mean as much as you can through the classified stuff. Just be you with Charlie, you're great at that. Although…"

"What Sam?" he says, and he looks really nervous.

"Don't act like such a kid, around my Dad. I mean he's probably thinking you're too old AND too young for me."

"Just to be clear, are we working on your idea of perfection or your fathers?" he asks, and he looks so vulnerable.

"Defiantly Dad's, Jack. I wouldn't want to change anything about you." He gives me a passionate kiss. "Well except…" I say letting him worry a bit, "Except for you cooking. I thought I would have you kitchen broke by now." It had become a joke between Jack and me. But I didn't always find him funny, and I was dead serious about him not coming into my kitchen.

"So if I fail to impress your father, and you going to trade me in for a newer model?" he asks.

"Not a chance fly boy," and he gives me that smile.

"Alright then, to couch!" he explains stretching his frame out on it.

"!"

Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!

Four year olds on the whole are well designed. I mean they have these chubby faces, cute proportions, adorable voices, and they say things that make you laugh and melt your heart. But they have one flaw-they always, without fail wake up two hours earlier than any sane person would get up. I'm not sure how this wasn't worked out by evolution. It almost makes me doubt Darwin. Or maybe have faith in humanity. I mean if we as a species can get kids to adulthood when they are like this, pretty sure we could do anything. "! It's Christmas!"

"Yes, it is Charlie, go back to sleep." Ok, so not a realistic request, but what can I say, I'm tired!

He glances at the open bathroom door, and suddenly he a worried look on his face, "Did Daddy go home without me?" he asks.

"No Charlie, he's downstairs," I reply.

"Let's go get him," he says pulling on my arm.

I drag myself downstairs, and Charlie starts jumping on Jack. I sink into a chair. I figure if so he's focused on Jack, I might be able to get in five more minutes of sleep before he notices.

Then Jack says something I seriously cannot believe, "Uh," he groans, "Go get Jacob."

I cannot believe that Jack just sent his bouncing son up to my father at six in the morning. I honest can't believe it. But Charlie is gone. I'm trying to glare at Jack and sleep at the same time, and he smiles at me, "Five more minutes?"

"I want to kill you Jack, but I'm too tired to move, just so you know," I reply.

"I want to begin evasive maneuvers, but I'm already asleep, just so _you _know," he groans.

I hear Dad's scream of surprise upstairs, but it's not enough to get either of us to move. It's followed by Charlie's giggles, and pretty soon I see Dad (looking chipper, Dammit) caring Charlie downstairs and tickling him.

"This little rug rat informed me Santa has come," he says depositing Charlie on a chair upside down.

"Uh!" I respond.

"It's not Christmas until the sun is up," Jack protests. Charlie runs to the window, and frowns.

"He's just teasing," Dad reassures him, "It's Christmas as soon as the son is up."

Jack seems to find Dad's play on words hilarious. The laugher is interrupting my sleep.

"What's wrong with you guys? Get to bed late?" Dad asks with a smirk.

"No sir," Jack replies looking a little more alert, "I went to _couch_" he touches the sheets for emphasis, "about an hour after you, sir. Had to give Santa time to come, after all."

"You can cut out the 'sir's' Jack," Dad says. Jack glances at me. I shake my head. But we're too tired to be covert, and Dad sees it all. "Ignore her," Dad says, "and stop the sirs."

"SANTA!" Charlie shouts at the top of his lungs, stomping his foot.

"Alright, alright," Jack says propping himself up, "Pass out the presents, kid," Charlie wastes no time in doing that. As soon as it's done he rips into his presents. Watching a kid that young opening presents is sort of mesmerizing. He's like an ADHD squirrel on crack. There isn't any order to it. It's like a tornado of wrapping paper. He starts opening one present, stops, and starts on another. Then he finds something he likes and plays with it for a while, and then another tornado, then more playing. By the time he has all of his presents open some little parts of the train set Jack got him are already lost, and I have to actually get off my chair and search through the sea of wrapping paper to help him find him. After that the adults start opening our presents.

I open mine from Jack first, and it is jello, but there is strange writing on it, "Jack…this isn't…"

"Yep, direct from Bitburg. Have a buddy stationed there. He now thinks I'm insane, but that's a small price to pay for the world's best jello eh?" he says.

"Jack, there is a case of jello here!"

"Yep! I mean you've spent your whole life waiting to taste jello like that again, right? Why not?"

"But you said if I kept waiting for the perfect jello, I'd miss the cake," I tease.

"Oh, I got you cake too Sam, it's in the kitchen."

I laugh, and finally heave myself out of sleep and the comfortable chair to go sit by Jack on the couch and give him a kiss.

"Is this about your tonsils?" Dad asks really confused.

"Dad, remember how I told you guys that was really good jello when I had my tonsils out?" I'm not quite sure if that was a nod or a shrug but I carry on, "Well I mentioned that on our first,"

"Second," Jack corrects.

"Right, our second date, and Jack remembered, and gets me the jello, which by the way he also thinks is the best jello in the world."

"Though not as good as cake," he clarified.

"Right, of course, you can't insult the cake," I add. My Dad is staring at us like we're aliens. (Of course he's never seen an alien. I have, and never felt the need to stare at them.)

Charlie looks up at his face, and says, "It's ok, Jacob, I don't understand them either." And we're all laughing so hard we can hardly breathe.

Then Jack opens up my present to him. It's a book about astrophysics, with a particular focus on worm whole theory (which will come in handy once, not if, but once I talk him into the job at the SGC.) He grins, "You going to read this to be, Sam?"

"Nope, we know how that would turn out," I say, "But there is this theory about rewarding people, for behaviors you want them to do," I say motioning for him to turn the pages. I've written jokes, sarcastic remarks, occasionally sexual comments on the margins of just about every page. He starts reading them, and is laughing.

"No fair, you have to actually read the page to get your reward, Jack," I say trying to take the book away from him.

"Hey, Sam, I didn't know you were an artist," Jack says, and I know exactly what page he is on.

"Sammy can draw? Let me see," my dad says.

We both freeze. Sort of forgot he was there. Jack closes the book, trying to make it look like an accident, "Uh, lost the page, sorry sir."

My face is bright red. I seriously can't believe that drawing is in the same room as my Dad, and Jack's son.

"So wormhole physics," I say.

"Is like a worm going through an apple," Jack replies. We finish opening up our gifts. Or at least I think we're finished.

"You know Charlie," Jack says, "I think you missed a present. It's a small one under the tree," he points.

Charlie dives after it. He's about three fourths under the tree when I hear his report. "It's a _really_ small one, and it's not even for me. It's for Sam."

"Did Santa leave me something too? I must be better behaved then you other two grow-ups," I say.

"Or just younger," Jack replies.

"No," Charlie replies wiggling his way out from under the tree, "It's from Dad." And I freeze, because what Charlie is holding is a little black velvet jewelry box.

"Why do you look like that Sam?" Charlie asks.

"Because she already knows what it is," Jack says.

"Does she have x-ray vision?" Charlie asks.

"Sam," Jack says turning my shoulders toward him, "You know I love you right?" Oh that better not be the whole proposal fly boy, I think as I nod like a swoony silent movie actress and mentally curse myself, "with all my heart. You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. My cake, and icing, and sprinkles, Samantha. I can't imagine life without you, and I don't want to try. I want to marry you, and wake up every morning with you by my side. I want to say forever, and get that dog, and the babies, and your grad degree, and whatever you decide after that. And I know you are way too good for me. You are smart, and beautiful, and strong, and kind, and good, and funny, and a great cook, and an amazing mom. But you've overlooked the fact that you are too good for me for a year, so I figure what's a lifetime more?"

I'm crying, and kissing him, and I pull away, "I'm not too good for you Jack. You forget that you are handsome, really handsome, and brave, and compassionate, and hilarious, and the best dad I've ever seen, and you can't cook to save your life, but that's part of your charm. You're…you're Jack."

"Glad you know my name, sort of a prerequisite for marriage," he says.

I punch his shoulder, "Shut up will you? You are willing to sacrifice everything for other people. I've got to teach you to stop doing that you know. And I'm sorry Jack, but I still like jello better than cake. But you are like German jello-a million times better than anything else. I love you Jack."

"Charlie, get Sam's present over here will you?" Jack says.

"I still don't know how she knows what it is," he says bringing it close. I pull him upon my lap.

"It's the box, kid," Dad replies. I'd forgotten about him again. I look at his face, and he looks happy, but there is something else there too. I'll have to figure it out later.

Charlie looks up at me, "Dad said you were a Mom. When do I get to meet your kid?" he asks.

"He was talking about you," I said burring my face in his hair, "This ring," I say taking the still unopened box, "means that your Dad and I are going to get married. When we do I'm going to be your Mom."

"Forever?" he asks.

"And always," I reply hugging him.

"Open the box already, Carter!" Jack says, and he looks about a patient as when Charlie woke me up, except Jack's also got this drill sergeant thing going on.

I obey and it's a turquoise ring. "Perfect," I say giving Jack another kiss.

Dad comes over to look at it, "Interesting choice," he says.

"Well I figured since Sam hates diamonds…" Jack begins.

"You hate diamonds?" Dad asks in disbelief.

Jack makes another 'oh crap' face.

"Uh, yeah Dad…" I start to explain.

"It's all tied up with a memory of her Mom's funeral, anyway I thought her birthstone would be appropriate," he says with a smile.

Jack starts to slip the ring on my finger, and pauses, "Uh, you didn't actually say yes."

I shake my head at him, "And you didn't actually ask."

"Will you marry me Samantha Carter?" he says.

"Ya sure ya becha Jack O'Neill," I say and kiss him.

"Uh Sam?" he says, "You still haven't actually said yes." I nudge his shoulder and take the ring away from him and put it on myself.

"Charlie," Dad says, "This means I'm going to be your new Grandpa."

He turns to look at me with a skeptical look, "Is that how it works Sam?"

"Yes," I say. Charlie uses my lap as a trampoline to launch into Dad's arms. It's so quick that Dad almost doesn't catch him.

"And you'd better start calling Sam, Mom," Jack says.

My heart almost stops, and I must have been making some kind of face, because the room goes silent, all three of them are staring at me, and Jack is flustered, "Unless, you know, Sam, he doesn't have to, I just thought…"

"No Jack, I want him to. I…I want him to." and there is a lot of emotion in my voice.

Charlie uses my Dad's belly as a rocket launcher to propel himself into my arms, "Mommy, Mom, Mother, Mommy," he says snuggling against me so close it feels like he is going to burrow through me.

"Charlie, baby, kid, son," I say kissing the top of his head over and over. I'm crying.

"Did I do something wrong?" Charlie asks.

"No," Jack says, "You are doing something very right." And I'm nodding.

"Do you get these people, Grandpa?" he asks looking up at Dad. Then Dad starts to cry, and Charlie is even more confused.

After a bit more of all of us acting as emotional as the chicks at the end of silent movies Dad says, "Come on Charlie, let's go get you ready for the day. Maybe go set up your train upstairs."

"Dad, you don't have to do that," I say.

"You guys just got engaged, you should talk some," he says, "Besides, the kid and I should get to know one another."

Jack stands up, "Sorry sir, I didn't…uh…I mean I should have asked you for her hand first, but…"

Dad laughs, he actually laughs, "Sam is not the kind of girl you ask for her father's hand for, Jack. You ought to know that," and Dad slaps Jack on the back. And I know, that Dad knew that Jack DID know that.

Once they are out of the room I snuggle up closer to Jack, our whole sides touching, and four hands a jumble (with the ring where I could glance down and look at it every now and again of course).

"Was it ok that I did that in front of your Dad?" he asked, "I almost didn't do it. But I had it thought out so well. Charlie's presents were hidden all over the house, so I could hide YOUR present. You know I don't have enough thoughts to waste," he says.

"It was great Jack, it was a great proposal. So this is why you wanted to talk about the future after the holidays?" I ask.

He runs his fingers though my long hair. He knows I hate it when he does that early in the morning, before I've brushed. But I also know he doesn't care if he hits a snag, that my tangles are irrelevant. "Yeah," he says, "Sam, I think you should stop putting off grad school. Charlie, and I, we'll go wherever you do."

"Jack, I'm not putting off grad school, I'm doing something amazing. Something I want you to do to."

"I get that. I believe you. But I also think that you are selling yourself short. That you'll look back in a decade and think I can't believe I gave up being an astronaut for that old man."

"You will never be old to me Jack O'Neill, and I'm not going to regret this. I will do grad school, so I can get back to Cheyenne Mountain on different terms."

"Ok, so let's do grad school. Now. Your job was supposed to be six months, it's been a year."

"They asked me to stay, Jack…"

"Right, because you're awesome, but if you aren't really doing what you want to do, you need to forget about them and do it."

"Jack, what I'm doing, no one else can," I say. He's looking at me. "I mean they tried, struck out, failed. I'm almost to a point where they can get on without me…"

"You told me you were an assistant," he says.

"Yeah, I am, but…"

"Your way smarter than the boss?" he says with a grin.

"Yeah, Jack. Listen, I'm almost to a stopping place. So how about this. How about I work there until the fall. Then master's and doctorate should take me about three years. While I'm doing that we have baby two and three."

His eyebrow shoot up, "School and kids, Sam?"

"Yeah, I'd rather not be pregnant at the mountain."

"I thought you told me your work was safe," he sounds accusatory, and worried.

"My work is safe, safish, safter then most on the mountain, but there is…I just would rather have kids during grad school."

"Ok," he says relaxing against me again.

"So where are we moving in the fall?" he asks.

"No where, I'm going to school here, and you're working at the Mountain."

"Trying to get rid of me already, and we're not even married yet," he says.

I lock eyes with him. I'm done with games, "Jack people were I work go through a star gate to other planets."

He laughs, "That is by far the worst cover story in the history of the air force," he jokes. Then he sees my face, and he stops, "Oh. My. God. You're serious Sam?"

I nod.

"Other planets like outer space, NASA, other planets?"

"Yeah, apart from the NASA stuff."

"Holy shit Sam!" He says and he's standing up.

"Jack, you do know what I told you is classified…"

"Yeah, I get it Sam, it's not like I'm going to go tell people. 'Hey my fiancée knows the way to Mars'."

I shake my head, "Actually we can't get to Mars."

"Other planets…And your important work is…" he asks.

"Just a computer program," I say with a shrug.

"A computer program that sends people to other planets!" he exclaims.

"More like a computer program that makes the thing that sends people to other planets work."

"Holy shit Sam!"

"So you know why I want you to take this post now right?"

"You want me to go to another planet, because…"

"You know that one star, you said was our star on our fourth date."

"Yeah, like a wart on Ophiuchus's foot."

"Charming Jack, charming. I know someone who grew up there."

"Holy shit Sam!"

"I want you to see the universe," I say, and I know looking in his eyes he does to.

But he closes his eyes, "Sam, I've got Charlie, and hypothetical baby number two, and hypothetical baby number three. I can't go meet aliens."

I bite my lip, "We've got Charlie, and hypothetical baby two and three, Jack."

"I know Sam, but you are planning on going to greet aliens, and one of us needs to...to have a safe job."

"What if we made a deal, one of us dies, the other one quits meeting aliens."

"What if we both die?"

"Not likely if we are on different teams. Besides, we could both die driving to the grocery store. You and I know that better than anyone."

He stares at me for a while, "you know someone from Ophiuchus's foot?"

I grin, "Actually, you do to, Jack."

"Don't tell me, you're the alien, I knew you were too good to be true. Are you going morph now?"

"I'm from earth Jack, but…Sha'uri is not."

He stares at me open mouthed for a full minute (which is very long in silence) before he says, "You let an alien babysit my son?"

I can't tell if he's pissed from his voice. In hindsight, it does sound irresponsible (although I maintain it was not). "Yeah I did, Jack."

"He would LOVE that!"

"You can't tell him Jack,"

"I know, but he would LOVE that!"

I lean back against him in silence. "I could get court Martialed for telling you."

"I'm not going to rat you out Sam," he says scoldly.

"I know, Jack."

"I'll think about playing with aliens," he says. He sits for a bit, "So grad school and babies in the fall, when are you thinking for a wedding?"

"I don't know, sooner rather than later. I don't want a big thing. Small, you, me, and Charlie."

He stares at me for a while, "That isn't what you really want Sam."

"Yes, it is," I say, and I think I'm telling the truth.

"You just don't want to have to deal with someone not coming."

And my breath catches, because it's true. He knows me better than I know myself.

"Sam, why don't we plan a wedding, Dad doesn't show up, we just postpone, get married another time?"

"Because that is insane Jack, that's why."

"No it isn't, not if the wedding is fairly small. We'll invite your brother too. Keep him and your Dad apart. We can put your Dad on the groom's side." He grins, "I think he likes me."

"Funny Jack," I say.

"I'm not trying to be funny Sam. You are going to get the wedding you want even if I have to kidnap your family."

"Kidnaping eh?" I say.

"Yep, tie them down, and gag them, so they can't yell, 'Don't do it Sam, run for your life!'"

I try to do the thing where I bump his shoulder. Only we're so close together I just end up snuggling closer into him.

"May, at Gran's cabin, guest list limited to twenty-five," I say.

"And if they don't all come?" he says.

"June, at Gran's cabin, guest list limited to twenty-five."

"That's my girl," he says kissing my temple.

"And I'm going to wear a ridiculous dress," I add.

"And underneath the ridiculous dress will be," and he pops his present open to my drawing. He's already memorized the page number.

"I'm going to really regret giving that to you aren't I?" I ask.

"Oh, yes," he says.

I slam the book shut.

When Dad and Charlie come back down I'm cooking and Jack is in his usual observation place. Dad walks in, puts on an apron and picks up a knife.

"You don't want to do that, Jacob," Jack says, pulling Charlie on to his lap.

"Why not, Jack?" Dad asks.

"Because getting snapped with a wet towel hurts more than you would expect," Jack replies.

"DAD, is allowed in my kitchen," I say glaring at Jack.

"How do you rate, Jacob?" Jack says with a pouting face.

"He's able to follow simple rules," I retort.

"More like he's able to teach you simple rules," Dad replies. He turns to Jack and says, "I heard about the time you cut raw meat and vegetables on the same cutting board." Jack is squirming under the scrutiny of his glance.

"Dad you should see his kitchen utensils, the man does not know quality," I bemoans.

"I don't know," Dad says holding my chin in his hands, "He picked you."

And I hug him, because it's just so sweet.

"Can I help?" Charlie asks.

"Sure," I say, "Come make the stuffing. Start with half a cup of butter," I say handing him the right measuring cup.

"Charlie can cook and I can't? He's four!" Jack exclaims.

Charlie turns to him, "I listen," Charlie says with a grin.

"Come on, Sam, give me another chance," he begs.

"What do you think guys? You think he's worthy?" I ask my two helpers. They both nod.

Twenty minutes later Jack looks up from the potatoes he's pealing and says, "Have you been reading Tom Sawyer lately Sam?"

After super Jack goes to put Charlie down for his nap, and Dad and I are sitting down for a cup of coffee.

"So Sam, when is the wedding?" Dad asks.

"First weekend in May," I say with authority, although I have yet to look at a calendar, or call Gran, or anything."

"Hope I'll be able to make it."

"If you can't, we'll post pone it until you can," I say meekly. But I'm playing the game too. I'm saying you hurt me when you missed my graduation. I'm playing the game my father and I do where we never say sorry, or ouch, or screw you. Where we just smile, and say mean crap that sounds nice.

"Do you still want to be an astronaut?" he says.

"I've found something better," I say.

"Is he?" Dad asks.

I want to say ouch, but I play the game say, "He is. But I don't just mean him. I mean my job to."

"What important stuff do you do at the base?" But which he means I love you.

And that's when I decide. And I think about it, and a lot of what we mean is I love you. Maybe screw you, but I love you, but still.

"Dad, let's cut the crap," he stares at me, "This game we play. Where we talk around things, and up to them, but never just talk about them. I'm done. Let's just be open and honest, because beneath the crap, it's you saying I love you and want the best for you, and it's me saying I love you, Daddy what should I do? So let's cut the crap and just say that." He's staring at me stunned. And then I say, "I'm sorry," because even that is better than the game.

"Sam, I never meant to play games…" he says.

"I know, Dad," I say patting his hand.

"I love you Sam, and I want what is best for you," he says.

"I love you to Dad, and I want to know what you think of Jack."

He pauses, and takes a deep breath, "I think he's old for you," my shoulders slump, "But I also think he makes you laugh. That he takes care of you when you can't admit you need taking care of. That you trust him, that you can tell him anything, stuff you could never tell me."

"Dad, I'm sorry I hurt you that I talk to Jack about Mom. I'm sorry but, I don't know. When I slam shut my emotional doors and say don't come in, you walk respectfully away. Jack just barges in. One isn't wrong, and the other right. It's just…He wouldn't let me not tell him, you know?"

"I know, and it's alright Sweetie, I'm glad you are talking to someone," he says. "I think Jack is a good man. He treats you well. He's good with his son. I'm just surprised. Because I know there are people who are happy with just the family. Your mom was one of them. Happy with just a family, no real career. It's not bad to be like that. It's good. Maybe even better. I just never thought you were one of them. And I'm afraid…I'm afraid you really aren't. I'm afraid in twenty years, you are going to say. I could have been an astronaut! I just…I want you to be happy. If Jack and Charlie are going to do it for you, then great. If they are worth throwing away space travel for, then good."

"I'm not one of those girls, who could be happy with just the family," I say, "no matter how great the family is. But I'm not giving up my career."

"No, not completely, but it will sneak up on you. You've spent half a year on a dead end job, Sam. What about grad school? You wanted to fly planes, Sammy. You wanted to go into space."

"I still want those things. I'm going to grad school next fall. I'll fly planes someday, and I really think I'll see space. And my job, it's not a dead end job. It's the most amazing thing. Better than I dreamed of. I swear, Daddy, I'm not letting go of my dreams."

He looks at me for a long second, "Are you happy, Sammy?"

"Yes, very," I say.

He smiles, "That's all I really wanted."

"I know," I say hugging him.

"So complete honesty, no more games?" he asked.

"Right," I say.

"What the hell did you draw Jack?" he asks.

I really wish I hasn't been taking a sip of coffee when he asked me that, "Ok, Dad. I'm going to shield you from that one."

"Probably for the best," he says with a smile which grows serious, "I'm sorry about your graduation. I really wanted to be there."

"I know you did Dad. I'm sorry about what I said about the moving. I really didn't mind that much."

"You did, and I'm sorry about that to," he says. "Will you tell me why you hate diamonds?"

"That I can do," I say with a smile.

"Jack," I say. I'm honestly not too sure how he's going to take this. "My father and I have a strange Christmas tradition."

"Ok," he says carefully, "Strange how?"

"We go to the shooting range the day after Christmas," I say with a smile.

"Have fun," he says, and there is something cold in his eyes.

"I'd like you and Charlie to come," I say.

"Sam, he's four," Jack says.

"That's about how old I was when Dad started taking me," I said.

"Look Sam, I'm not crazy about the idea of Charlie being around guns," he says.

"You're kidding right? The kid has two…parents, and a Grandpa in the Air force!" I protest.

He runs his hand through his hair, "Look, it's a deal I made a longtime ago with Sarah. Charlie doesn't get to play with gun toys, and he doesn't go to the shooting range."

"Sorry, I didn't know," I say walking away. Then I turn back, "No, you know what screw that. Sarah is dead. I'm not. You just told me that Charlie was my son. If I back down that is going to be crap. Charlie is always going to be **your **son. I'm not saying I have to win, but we do have to talk about this, if we're going to raise him together. You are going to have to give me a reason."

"Guns are dangerous," he says.

"Seriously Jack? You sure as hell know better than that, and Sarah probably did to. If kids are around guns they learn to treat them properly, and are less likely to have issues with it. I'm ok with the no guns as toys thing, but I'd really like to take Charlie to the shooting range," I say softly rubbing the outsides of his arms in that way that calms him down. He doesn't say anything for a while. "I know this is hard, maybe I shouldn't ask you to break a deal you made with the mother of your child," I say softly. I lean in to kiss his cheek.

"Sammy, can you and your dad take him alone?" he barely creaks out.

"Not if you don't want me to," I say.

"Take him, lots of gun safety, no toy guns, and no future kids go to the range before age four," Jack says.

"Deal."


	4. Samson

Jack's POV

SGC Minnesota May 1990

When it looked like Jacob wasn't going to show, I as almost relieved. As far as wedding days went, this one as pretty much a disaster. In hindsight, we probably shouldn't have planned an outdoor wedding in Minnesota in May. Doing so demonstrates as Gran said, "More guts than sense." The rain alone would be enough to ruin the day. But the florist turned out to be an idiot unable to distinguish between lilies and lilacs. This wouldn't have been so bad if Sam's brother wasn't allergic to lilacs. After some disposing of the flowers and what was more than double the recommended dose of Benadryl it looked like Mark would be ok. The musician was a wuzz who refused to play in the rain, even after I rounded up volunteers to hold umbrellas over her. Gran insisted on making us the cake. Gran is normally an amazing cook, but somehow this cake-collapsed. Since then Gran has been freaking out-and trying to construct another cake-while entertaining the guest-good things she's a multitasker. Then Charlie managed to do some damage to Sam's dress. I'm not sure exactly what it as, since I'm not allowed to see Sam in her wedding dress. But I do know it is big enough to cause tears and panic in anyone who entered that bedroom to help.

So when Jacob was an hour late I figured, ok, probably for the best, we'll come back in a few weeks and try again with flowers, and music, and cake, and a dress, good weather, and father of the bride. But then, Jacob Carter runs through the door leaving puddles of water on the floor, and shouting, "Sam, Sam, God I'm sorry, but I'm here, Sam." And you know, he was. So we trudged outside in the pouring rain to get married.

I'm thinking to myself, this is has got to be the worse wedding in the history of weddings. This is the kind of wedding story no one will believe. It's beyond horrid. But then Sam walks out of Gran's cabin and I change my mind. Best wedding ever. Even without cake.

Jack's POV

SGC Colorado Springs May 1990

I'd been back from my honeymoon for two days, and today was my first day working at the SGC. I tried to resist taking this post for a while. But honestly, Sam was pretty persuasive. We'd sit on our roof, and she would point out the stars that were orbited by planets she'd help send people to. How could I resist that kind of adventure?

I had a feeling my first day at Cheyenne Mountain was going to be weird. I would have to pretend not to know a whole lot of things that I did know. But I had no idea how weird it was going to be. First of all Sha're is giving the tour. I'm star struck, because this is my first time seeing an alien.

Ok actually that's not quite true. I've see Sha're a few times before. But this is different, because this is my first time seeing her since I found out she's an alien. I'm not supposed to know, I mean I'm probably cleared for the knowledge now, but she hasn't made her big confession to me.

"So this is the floor where the science labs are," she continues.

I'm trying to be patient. They probably have some way they like to revel it. But honestly I want to scream, "Show me the thing you use to get to other planets already!'

Sha're looks at me, "Samantha told you Jack." It isn't a question.

I can't let Sam get in trouble, I try my best to look innocent, "told me about what?" I ask.

She pulls me into a nearby office, "Look Jack, I told Samantha, because we're friends. Not many people here know about it, so don't tell anyone I'm an alien."

"No problem, Sha're, but ever since Sam told me I've wondered….I mean you don't seem…I mean you look…"

"I am a human, Jack. If you are going to work here you should know right off that human and alien are not mutually exclusive. My people were taken from earth thousands of years ago…So grew up on another planet, but human."

"Mind if I ask…" she has such an open face, I know she wouldn't, "Sha're sounds foreign…Littlefield, not so much."

"It's my married name. My people don't have last names."

"I didn't know you were married." I say.

She has a funny look on her face, "I'm not exactly married."

"Divorced?" I ask. But I don't think so. She's young enough for marriage, really young for divorce.

"No, see…I was on my planet. And…he sort of won me in a game of Hounds and Jackals," Sha're says slowly, like I'm pulling the knowledge out of her.

"Hounds and Jackals?"

"My people live sort of like the Ancient Egyptians. It's a game of chance my people play."

"So your husband won you in a poker game?" I ask.

"In a manner of speaking, yes, Jack," she says.

"I can see how you wouldn't be too fond of the guy after that," I say. But I can tell by her face I'm wrong.

"It wasn't like that…Danyel didn't exactly know I was the stakes. He thought he was playing for a tablet," she says looking down.

"And he was disappointed when he got you instead of a rock? The man must be stupid and blind," I say with a smile, trying to cheer her.

"He was surprised," she said, sounding annoyed at my not thinking her husband was a gem, "He didn't know what to do. He thought it would be wrong to accept me as property. But then he figured out that to not accept me…I would be the ultimate insult, the ultimate humiliation for me. He couldn't do that to me."

"So he took you home with him to Earth," I said trying to keep my distain for the man out of my voice.

"He did right by me Jack, I was nineteen, and terrified. He took me into his house. He gave me my space. Treated me like a perfect gentleman. He taught me to speak English, got me a job here, helped me find my own place. He's helping me take my study for my GED, and giving me a crash course on earth culture. Danyel didn't do anything wrong," he says slowly.

Then I get it. I get why she defends him so much, "You're in love with him," I say. She nods looking away from me. "Does he know this?" She shakes her head, "Planning on telling him?" She shakes her head harder, "I think you should."

"You can't tell him, Jack," she says.

"I'm not going to spill the beans, Sha're, but you should tell your husband you are in love with him."

"How is Sam, Jack?" she asks.

"Good segue," I grin, "My wife is amazing. Things are great. She'll be back at work in two days."

"Ok, ready to continue out tour?" I nod, "Going to stop looking at me like…."

"….an alien?" I provide.

"Yeah," she grins, "like that."

Sha're ends her part of the tour in a room she calls, "the control room." There are huge blast doors, and I can tell this is the part where the tour is going to get interesting.

"Lots of computers in here," I comment to the man who is supposed to be continuing my tour but is only squinting at a computer screen with a horrible face.

"Yeah, Samson's giving us some trouble. Just a second," he replies.

"Samson?" I ask.

"Yeah, not an official name. We just call it that, because it's very powerful-like Samson in the Bible. Also the person who made it is Sam. It's her baby-Sam's son-get it? But she's on her honeymoon now, and in the fall she'll be leaving us for good. She built this thing, and now we're left to our own devices to figure it out. Stupid, to waste a mind like that on husband and babies. It should be a crime. Sure hope this husband of hers is worth it."

"I'd like to think I am," I reply dryly.

He focuses his attention on me completely for the first time, "What?"

"Samantha O'Neill, formally Carter, she's my wife," I repeat.

"I'm….ah…."

"And she isn't quitting JUST to have babies. Although we will be doing that as well." I say with a wicked wink sure to make him squirm, "She wants to come back to this place with the title of Dr., and a bit more respect," I said pointedly.

"I'm sorry….sir…." he stammers, "I really do respect your wife. She's brilliant. Samson is amazing."

"And Sammy has a son, well a step son actually, but he's more her son than this computer is." I run my fingers over this thing, "So this is Sam's work," I say.

"Yeah, wait until you see what Samson runs," he says with a grin.

Just what I've been waiting for for over six months I think. He lifts up the blast doors, and there it is. It's a huge loop with fancy decorations. Impressive, but not as impressive as what it does.

He's watching my reaction. This part of his job has got to be pretty fun. Shock the hell out of new guys.

"What does it do?" I ask.

"It creates a wormhole, that allows instantaneous travel to other planets."

Time for my acting debut. First, no reaction, "What does it really do?"

"Sir, people go through the gate to other planets."

"Ok, so raze the new guy, I get it, but I'm too old to fall for these pranks, Sergeant, so you might as well get to the point where you tell the truth."

He laughs, "I'm telling you the truth, sir. Not that I really expect you to believe it. No one does, at first. Wait 'til you see it her lighted up. We've got a team leaving for a mission in a few minutes." A team arrives and he starts pressing some buttons on Samson (going to have to give Sam a hard time about the name of the computer). The thing spins around, smoke is spilling out. Very impressive.

"When I first started working here that thing shook like nobody's business. Caused a mini earthquake. Sam worked here a week, and one day she looks up and says, 'That is getting really annoying' by the end of the day she had it fixed so it didn't shake anymore," The technician says with a grin.

Then the thing stops spinning. And explodes. Ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. But there is a lot of-what the hell is it-shooting out of it for a second. Then it gets weirdly peaceful. Like my Gran's lake except—horizontal.

"What the hell is that Sergeant?" I ask, and it's not all acting.

"That sir, is the event horizon of a stable wormhole capable of taking people to other planets."

The team below walk through the gate, and it flashes off with a appropriately dramatic sound, and they have disappeared.

"Holy shit!" And again, it's not all acting.

The tour is over now, and it's lunch time. After lunch I have an appointment at the infirmary, and then the gym. Get me cleared for active duty. Apparently tomorrow I have several briefings and a few days of reading mission briefs in front of me. But they leave me alone for lunch. Swell. My tray is full and I find myself wishing Sam had come back today.

I feel like I'm in high school again. Well, clearly that is the jock table-full of marines-no thanks. There is the nerd table-full of scientists. There are some other tables-clicks I suppose- that obviously contain members of a team leaning close and talking. There is only one real option that I see. One guy sitting all by himself. People sitting my themselves usually like company right? I mean this guy isn't exactly putting off a welcoming air, he's pretty much barricaded behind a book, but what the hell, at least he isn't arm wrestling like the marines.

"Hey," I say setting down my tray.

"Mmm," he, well you can't exactly call that a reply can you?

"Whacha doing?" I ask.

"Translating," ok, so that one is a reply at least.

"Translating what?" I continue.

He lowers the book, apparently deciding that I am just annoying enough to warrant attention, "Who are you?" he asks.

"Lieutenant Colonel Jack O'Neill, United States Air Force, pleased to meet you," I say sticking out my hand.

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Daniel," he says absently.

"You go by your first name?" I ask.

"Had to," he replies, "There are an awful lot of Littlefields around this base, and most of them are doctors."

"You're Sha're's husband?" I ask examining him carefully now.

"Not really," he sighs, "I really should get that officially annulled. But Sha're is just awful at losing legal papers," Oh, I bet she is, "Anyway if you are one of those people who don't believe the rumors-yes, you have my permission to date my wife-anyone does," he says pulling his book shield back up.

"Soooooooooooo, don't want to date your wife, Daniel," I say with a laugh.

The book slams down and there is anger on his face, "What the hell is wrong with Sha're?"

I put up my hands to calm him down, "Nothing, nothing. But I'm already married. And unlike yours mine is the kind of marriage where the wife would not like me dating other people," I smirk picturing Sam's reaction. It involves a lot of her military training. "Your wife's a good women, Daniel, just not interested in her that way."

He relaxes, "Sorry…uh….what's your name again?"

"Jack," I say.

"Right, so you know Sha're?" he says.

"Yeah, she babysat my kid a couple times. My wife and her are real good friends," I offer.

He tilts his head, "You aren't Sam's husband are you?" he asks.

"Sure am!" I grin.

"Your wife is amazing!" he says.

"Been told," he say nonchalantly. He gives me a nasty look, ok not to self-Daniel Littlefield is not a big fan of my humor.

"It must have been her first month working here when Sha're introduced us. I'm working in my office on this translation I've been working on since I was eight. It's pretty important stuff. Four alien races views on what's most important in a brief 1,000 pages. I've been stuck on this passage for years. I think, I've got to be translating it wrong. I mean I keep getting random letters and numbers. My cipher has got to be off. Sam looks over my shoulder and says, 'Holy Hannanh' and rips the paper from my hands. She's flipping through the pages, and I say, 'What does it say?' and she looks at me like someone has just bought her a new car and says, 'Equations! They are equations! The sort of equations that physicists talk about then they talk about 'universal formulas' the sort of equations they mean when they say physics is like a spiritual experience. The sort of equations that could put a good 90% of physicist out of business. We're talking holy grail of science here!' She flips through them some more looks at me and says, 'And they look complete. Do you realize that right here, four pages, and they probably explain EVERYTHING in the universe? Can I borrow these?' And she studied those things for a while and her conclusion is that yeah, they describe every physical law. That gave me the idea to give the next part over to the biology department once I had it translated. They weren't quite as excited as Sam, but they were still pretty excited. I'm still working on the next part. I'm really hoping the whole thing doesn't turn out to be a scientific text. I'd like 'meaning of life' to be something more than that you know?"

Crap, I like him. I wanted to hate him for Sha're's sake.

I nod in answer to his question, "Do you go through the gate Daniel?" I ask.

He looks at me with a really weird expression on his face, "Not often. They bring back enough for me to translate. Actually, Jack, Sam helped with the cartouche too. See I knew they were gate addresses, but I didn't know what they were telling me about them. Sam takes one glance at my data and says interstellar drift! Of course, we live in an expanding universe, so planets are always moving apart. Since Sam figured that out we've been able to generate new addresses much faster (even higher with that dialing computer of hers). It's amazing!"

"Does Sha're ever visit home?" I ask.

He studies me carefully, "You know where her home is?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say.

"Once and a while she'll ask me to go back. In that culture I pretty much have to go back with her. And we have to act like we're really married, really, really, her people are pretty open about the PDA's. But it's the only way she can see her family, so every once in a while…"

"You bite the bullet and suck face with an incredibly beautiful women," I say. Sha're was a smart woman. Figuring out a way to get Danny boy to play house with her. I bet she even made up the thing about PDA's in her culture.

"Jack, the stuff between Sha're and me…It's complicated."

"You won her in a poker game," I say and he's face is shocked. No one has probably ever put it that bluntly to him before, "Doesn't mean you're blind."

"Yeah, Sha're is beautiful," he agrees and he sounds like a thirteen year old confessing to his first crush.

"Nice girl too," I point out.

"Yesssss," he says and pulls his book shield back up.

"Course she's smart…" I say.

He slams the book back down, "I get it Jack! Sha're is wonderful, what _is_ your point?"

"Just 'cause you married her doesn't mean you can't date her," I say. Then because he's stunned, and it's the perfect time to walk off, I do…even though I'm not done eating.

Jack's POV

Colorado Springs June 1990

They told me about the snakeheads. I'd read about them in the official reports. Sha're had even told us a little about her mom being taken by them once. But this was the first time I met them. It didn't go well.

It was a peaceful little world, a lot like the one Sha're came from but different. We were just talking to the locals when suddenly the Stargate activates. Through it walk creatures covered in metal-I'd heard about Jaffa. I fire my weapon at the one closest to me. I'm aiming for his neck, which I'm hoping is the weak spot in his armor although honestly I have no clue. I see a strange small weapon get leveled on me, and see a blue bolt of electricity come out of it.

The next thing I know I'm waking up in a big room. There are a bunch of people around me. I'm looking around for the team's linguist, and he's not there. Crap. Wish I'd paid more attention to the language section of my training. There are about sixty people in the room and four or five of those big Jaffa. So I'm figuring out odds are pretty good. If I could just remember even a couple of words. I mean a shout of "freedom!" or "get them" or "down with false gods" or anything like that would be helpful at the moment. But the only Goa'uld I can remember is "Kree!" and I don't even know what that means.

I shout it anyway. A few of the humans standing next to me give me a dirty look, but no one else has much of a reaction. Expect for one of those big Jaffa in the metal snake outfit. He charges toward me, and I'm thinking this is a pretty stupid ass way to die, but he doesn't kill me. He grabs arm like he's going to squeeze it off.

"Ow," I say.

"What is this?" he asks.

"It's a watch," I reply.

He presses a button by his neck and the weird snake thing on his head disappears reveling an bald black head with a weird marking on his forehead. "It is not Goa'uld technology. Where are you from?"

"Earth, Colorado Springs if you want to be specific," I say. It hurts my stomach to think of home and Sam, and Charlie.

"Your words mean nothing," he says clamping down on my hand all the harder.

"Look, you guys like to call the place Tau'ri."

His face gets closer to mine for a second. There is something intense in his eyes. Then he walks away. A few seconds later the big guy with the watch obsession shouts out, "Shaka ha! Kree hol mel, Goa'uld!" And I'm thinking, "Where the hell is my linguist." Then he adds, "Benna! Ya wan, ya daru! Kneel before your masters!" Ok, well at least there was an English translation tacked on the end of that one. Everyone is kneeling down. I'm not a big fan of this idea, but the big guy gives me this look. It's not like we've established a fantastic report with one another, but I don't see much of an option so I kneel down. "Benna, ya wan ya daru! Choose!" The big guy shouts. Then I see them grab my linguist. The guy was cowering in the corner the whole time.

I turn to the big guy who seems to like my watch and shout, "I can save these people! Help me! Help me." Our eyes are locked, and I'm really hoping. Really hoping this guy saves my ass and I get to go home to my family.

He locks eyes with me, "Many have said that." He turns to his guards and blasts them away. Then he throws me the staff weapon, whose operations were luckily covered in SGC training, "But you are the first I believed could do it!"

He grabs a staff weapon off one of his dead guards, and we're standing next to one another shooting until all that is left in the room is humans. "Get out of the way," I holler to the people, "And I shoot a hole in the wall with my handy new staff weapon. "Come on let's move!" I shout. I look over my shoulder to make sure my chicken of a linguist is still with us. I don't want to have to explain to Stargate command why I'm coming back minus one coward.

Once I have gotten every human through the opening I glance back. The big Jaffa dude is standing there looking like his puppy just died.

"Hey, c'mon," I say.

"I have nowhere to go," he says.

"For this you can stay at my place. Let's go," I say. I'm trying to imagine Sam's reaction if I actually did bring a giant Jaffa home with me.

"Teal'c," he replies. He's walked about fifteen steps when he stops, "I can't leave my wife and son," he says.

"Of course you can't, let's go get them buddy," I say a little shocked that he would even think of it.

We're lucky because Teal'c's house is sort of on the way to the gate.

"Drey'auc! Rya'c!" He shouts.

A little boy comes running out, "Dad!" he says running into his father's arms. My heart seriously melts. Rya'c is about Charlie's age, and this greeting is EXACTLY the one I get every time I come home from a mission.

"Where is your mother, son?" Teal'c says holding the boy close.

"Right here," a voice replies. I turn to see his wife, hands covered in flour.

"We have to leave, right now," Teal'c says, his voice pressed with urgency.

"Where are we going husband? This is our home," Drey'auc replies.

"It is so no longer, I have betrayed the gods," Teal'c replies pulling himself up to his full height.

"No," Drey'auc says seeming to deflate to about half of her height, "No husband, you did not."

"Oh for crying out loud, we don't have time for this ma'am. We've got a bunch of snakeheads on our tail. You and your son need to come with us RIGHT now, so you can be safe," I say.

"I did not betray the gods. If I stay, perhaps they will offer me forgiveness," Drey'auc says.

Teal'c moves toward her, and for the first time I see true affection in this man, "I cannot live without you," he says looking deep into her eyes.

Drey'auc looks all swoony for about two seconds, and then she turns into a military commander. "Rya'c you have fifty seconds to grab what you want from this house, and then we are on the move," she commands.

This son knows how to obey orders. When we get to earth I'm going to make sure Charlie and him hang out a lot. Charlie could do with a bit of military discipline. It actually only takes Rya'c about fifteen seconds to grab something I think is a stuffed animal and something that looks like a toy staff weapon. Drey'auc slips something from a bowel into her pocket and grabs her staff weapon. Teal'c doesn't move to grab anything. I suppose he figures wife and child are more than enough.

"You know," I say to Rya'c, "I've got a son about your age."

He grins up at me. "You aren't a Jaffa are you?" he says.

I stare at him as if he's nuts, "You mean did I let them put a snake in my gut? No that would be negative, kid."

We come over a hill and Teal'c peeks over it, "The Goa'uld have already escaped with their prisoners," he informs me.

"Is the gate guarded?" I ask.

"Not right now, but I don't think it's going to be that way for long," he replies. We start charging down the hill. I yell for my coward of a linguist to dial earth. He seems capable of that at least. There is a rustling in the trees, Teal'c, Drey'auc, I, and even Rya'c turn toward it. Four staff weapons lowered on it. As they start emerging from the trees I discover that Rya'c's weapon wasn't so much a toy as a child sized model. Figures.

They are right on the edge of firing range, and we're dropping them at an amazing rate. This family has amazing firing skills. But we're not dropping them fast enough. We've already lost a couple of the crowd of innocent humans behind us. That kind of thing is unacceptable. The gate shoots into action, and the linguist has radioed through to the General.

"We're clear sir, and he knows we've got company," he says looking at me.

"Move!" I shout. Humans are spilling through the gate, and the four of us are walking backwards behind them shooting all the time. I let one last shot go after we're through the gate and it's disengaged. The wall of the SGC now has a huge singe mark on it. Going to hear about this later.

"Lieutenant Colonel!" I hear Hammond's voice scold.

"Yes sir!" I say.

"You brought a family of hostiles with you?" He says in that voice that can make marines wet their pants.

"No sir," I say grinning to Teal'c, "What I brought you are some VERY valuable allies who saved my butt."

He glares at me, "Alright come up here for a debriefing," he says with a sigh of resonation.

"Yes sir!" I reply.

Jack's POV

Colorado Springs October 1990

Home-it's a powerful word. A good word to. The best one that has ever been invented. The word is even better when you have been away from home for a while-like I have. My team-now plus one Jaffa was off world and all caught some illness. It wasn't dangerous-in fact it made you laugh hysterically at everything. But it was very contagious and I'd just spent over a week in quarantine. Every time I tried to call Sam I'd end up laughing so hard I'm not sure she got the message. So I hope she didn't worry.

But now I'm coming home. The first family member to note my presence is Taurus our Border Collie/Vizla pup. I hear his barking the second I get out of my truck. The barking continues, until he hears the key in the latch. The dog is smart enough to know that people who use keys aren't the enemy. But when he actually sees me the dog goes nuts. He's wiggling, and jumping all over me. He doesn't settle down until he's had a good two minutes of petting and talking to. We made a good choice with that one. He's got Sam's brain, and my personality.

"Taurus, what are you prancing around for?" Sam demands coming down the stairs. Taurus runs over to her and bounces around her too. Actually that's the best part about Taurus, he gets excited when he sees you for the first time in an hour as well as a two weeks.

When Sam sees me she does a good Taurus impression. Her eyes light up, she runs over to me, and gives me a bone squeezing hug, "Jack! I'm so glad you're back."

"You weren't worried were you Sam? I tried to leave you messages, but that damn infection…"

She cuts me off, putting a finger over my mouth, "Jack I may no longer work at the SGC, but I've still got a lot of friends there. Over thirty people called me up to tell me you were fine, just not coming home. Only two of them were authorized to realize the information. Actually, I'm pretty sure some of them weren't even authorized to have the information," she kisses me, "still glad you're back."

"Missed me, eh?" I say. But there is something going on here. Something way beyond normal missing.

"Yeah, I wanted to try out your reaction to something, and I definitely didn't want to do it when you had such a bad case of the giggles."

"So what have you got to tell me?" I say grinning.

"Baby number two is no longer theoretical," she says with a HUGE grin.

I spin her around and making a lot of whooping noises. Charlie charges down the stairs, "What is going on?" he asks. Then he sees me, "Dad!" He flings himself into my arms. And there we are: two adults, a kid, a baby, all in one giant hug, with a dog making insane circles around them.

I told you home was a very good word.

My release from the infirmary must have been pretty big news on the SGC grapevine. Daniel and Sha're came by to see how we were doing. Since Daniel took me up on his advice, the four of us have been doing quite a bit of double dating.

As soon as Sha're is through the door, Sam is pulling her off to the patio. Through the glass door we see them jumping up and down and hear squealing.

"Now what do you suppose that is all about?" Daniel asks dryly.

"Probably about the baby," I say playing it cool with a shrug.

"The baby?" Daniel's eyes get wide.

"Yep," I say stopping the calm act and letting the pride an excitement show through, "Our baby."

For a second Daniel looks disappointed, but then a wide grin cover his face, "Good for you, Jack!" he says slapping me on the back.

"Are you are Sha're trying for baby?" I ask having not missed what the meaning of that disappointed look meant.

"No, Jack," he sighs, "It was obvious what you meant. Just…for a moment…"

"For a moment you were thinking you got to have a family?"

He nods.

"You know, if you asked Sha're…"

He cuts me off, "You know Jack, you do a lot of meddling in my personal life."

"You need a catalyst Danny boy, a catalyst," I say.

"I supposed I did," he says, "Have I thanked you for that by the way?" I shake my head, "Thank you Jack. It was just when Sha're and I first met we were so young. She was nineteen, I was twenty. Neither of us was ready for a real marriage. I mean I don't know, maybe she was, but I definitely wasn't ready for a real marriage. Then by the time I maybe could have been ready-everything was settled. You know she had her own place, she had her own job, her own life."

"And you'd put out the news through the grape vine that it was fair game to ask your wife out," I point out.

"Yeah, Sha're is never going to let me hear the end of that one. She calls me a pimp all the time."

I do something halfway between a choke and a laugh, "That sweet innocent little thing calls you a pimp?"

"Sha're is not as sweet and innocent as she appears Jack."

"Oh, I know that Danny boy. I've seen the two of you kiss, it's quite obscene."

"Jack," staring at her through the window. The girls have stopped shrieking down, and are talking, "I've been meaning to ask Sha're to make this a real marriage. Do you think I should just ask her, or go all out and do the whole engagement wedding thing?"

I blow air through my mouth. I can't believe Daniel thinks I'm some kind of a relational expert just because I told him he should be with Sha're. Any chimp could have told him that. "I don't know, you are the anthropologist who knows her culture, and you are the boyfriend who knows her. Which one is going to make her happier?"

"That was really good advice, Jack," he says.

"I told you to figure it out yourself," I say smirking.

"Still good advice, Jack," he says. Just then the girls come in. Danny throws his arms around Sam and says, "Congratulations!"


	5. Fourth

Please review so I can know what you guys are thinking!

Sam's POV

Colorado Springs May 1991

I place my hand on my stomach slowly rubbing it, "Timing, baby, timing," I murmur. I wait until the contraction passes, before I call out, "Hey, Charlie, we're going go on a little drive," up the stairs. Charlie is seven, and he's pretty hard to fool.

"The baby?" he asks running down the stairs so fast he nearly knocks me down, not knowing I was standing at the bottom.

"Yeah, Charlie, calm down," I said.

"But Dad isn't here," he says looking panicked. Yeah, I'm aware of that, I think sarcastically. The baby just had to come early when Jack's on a mission.

"It's ok Charlie," I say with false bravo and cheerfulness, "We're going to the base. They'll call your dad. He'll be there."

"You're driving?" He said panicked.

"I'm fine Charlie, the baby isn't coming that quickly," I say with a smile.

He still looks panicked.

I knew I was being overly optimistic with what I told Charlie, but I really thought it wouldn't be that bad. By the time we get to the base I'm thinking we might not have as much time as I originally thought. Charlie is freaking out. Sha're is not in her office, or the library, or the commentary. Finally I give up and lumber into the control room. General Hammond stares at me.

"Sir, recall my husband, and page Sha're to watch my son," I say. I was hoping I could get all of it out before the contraction hit, but the please sort of got cut off. Great, now it sounds like I'm giving orders to the leader of the base.

"Lieutenant," he says softly, "I'll watch Charlie after I get you to the infirmary," he looks at Charlie, "Stay in my office, son."

Charlie ducks in there obediently, and I'm glad to be in the able hands of the General.

There is a new doctor in the infirmary. Or at least new to me, but it's not like I spend that much time in the infirmary. She's the only one only one on duty.

"Have you ever delivered a baby before?" I ask.

"Sweetie, my entire job is doing things I've never done before," she replies.

I think I'm going to like Janet Fraiser. Of course, during the next four hours I'm not doing a whole lot of liking anyone, especially not my husband who fails to make an appearance during the whole labor process.

Janet's shift is over about the time she places David Jonathan O'Neill in my arms. It doesn't really matter, because she stays to fuss over the baby with me. It's a quarter of an hour later when a noise wakes Davie from his sleep. Janet raises from her seat next to my bed and prepares for battle with anyone who dare disturbs the sleep of her littlest patient.

I wave her off, because there, standing in full mission gear, is not only my husband, but his entire team. Jack doesn't wait for anything more than the easing of Janet's death glare to swoop in and pick up his son. The rest of them don't quite feel that welcome. I can tell by their breathing they've been running for a while, probably miles halfway across the galaxy, but now they just hover at the threshold uncertainly. Daniel (who I suspect started going off world mainly because Jack could never answer a single one of his questions about off world cultures) is blushing like a mad man. Teal'c almost, though not quite, has a smile. McKay looks jealous.

Frankly, I'm a little surprised Jack hasn't shot McKay. Or at least zated him. McKay man is a self-absorbed whiner with a BIG crush on me. None of which increases your life expectancy when hanging around with my husband.

"Davie boy," Jack says when he's in his hands, "You should have waited for Daddy." He looks into my eyes, "I'm _so_ sorry Sam."

"Well, we know he's got your patience, Jack," I say, "You guys can come in you know," I say to the team. Teal'c walks in to stand guard over the foot of my bed. The other two walk in a bit more timidly.

"Sha're watching Charlie?" Daniel asks. Daniel has actually been hanging out with Sha're a lot when she watches Charlie, lately. Daniel asked Sha're to marry him a few months back. He went with the traditional proposal, fancy dinner, down on one knee, all of that. She looked at him and said, "Daniel, we're already married." So that was that. Not long after Sha're moved in with Daniel. They are sort of toying with the idea of kids right now.

"Uh, no, I couldn't find her. So, I had to leave him with General Hammond," I say.

"Had to?" I hear a telltale Southern drawl which lets me know I'm in trouble.

"Sir, what I meant to say was…" I say.

"I know what you meant," he says grinning, "Is it alright for Charlie to come meet his little…."

"Brother," Jack says with a grin, "Come on in, sir."

Charlie is by his dad's side in seconds. He seems mesmerized by the tiny baby fingers. He touches them, and draws his hand back startled by his own actions. He looks at first me and then his father like he is asking forgiveness.

"He's your brother, it's ok to touch him," I say with a smile.

"Gently," Jack adds.

Charlie's hand goes up to Davie's again. Davie's fingers curl around Charlie's pointer. Charlie gets this proud grin like he's just been elected big brother of the year.

"He likes me!" Charlie exclaims.

"Actually that is a reflex that all babies…" McKay begins.

"…do when they see their favorite person in the world," I finish.

McKay shoots me a look, but he's smart enough to shut up.

"You wanta hold him T?" Jack asks.

Teal'c doesn't say a word, just gets on of his as-close-to-a-grin-as-stoic-Jaffa-come, and takes the little baby in his arms. Davie makes a murmur of protest, and Teal'c does this rhythmic swaying bouncing thing which ends the protest almost as quickly as it started. It's the sort of moves only a parent has.

Teal'c only holds him for a little bit before he passes him to Daniel. Daniel looks a little scared. Davie makes another murmur and Daniel tries to hand him back to Jack. Jack just shakes his head, "You're fine. Babies fuss." Daniel pulls Davie close to his body, and that hushes him almost as effectively as Teal'c's dance.

Then Daniel offers him to McKay, and I want to stop it. McKay is _so_ not a baby guy. But McKay looks so honored. He's acting like someone just handed him a Noble Price. He takes Davie, and Davie makes his barely voiced objections known just as before. McKay tries to do the bouncy rocking thing Teal'c, did but he does it at warp speed. Davie's murmur's turn into wails. McKay looks completely panicked and is trying to give him to me.

"You're fine, relax. Slowly," I say.

McKay does slow down, and Davie quiets down, although not as much as he did with the other members of the team. He's still whimpering. McKay holds him for a while and then hands him back to me.

"Come 'ere Charlie," I say patting the bed beside me. He crawls up there. "Now I got both my boys," I say throwing an arm around him.

Charlie looks as worried, "Davie's your real son right?"

I kiss his forehead, "Charlie," I make sure to capture his eyes in mine, "You are my real son, too. You may not be my biological son, but you're my real one. Do you understand what I mean by that?"

He nods.

"Ok, sport," Jack says, "We'd better let your mother rest. Having babies is hard work you know. Daniel, can you watch Charlie while I get post-mission stuff done?" Daniel nods. "Then we'll head home."

"Can we take Davie with us?" Charlie asks.

"No, Davie has got to stay with your mother in the infirmary for a couple of days," Jack says with a smile.

Charlie kisses me on the cheek. Then he leans over carefully and graces Davie with his very first kiss.

The team nights started out innocently enough, Jack stopping over for a beer on the way home from work with his two best friends. But Daniel gets drunk by just breathing fumes from alcohol and Teal'c doesn't drink. So before long they were all coming to our house. If Daniel was coming over, Sha're might as well to. And if Daniel's wife is coming Teal'c's wife and son ought to be coming to. Especially since Rya'c and Charlie really hit it off. Then McKay stares to pout, and it just keeps snowballing from there. Before long we are regularly hosting all these people plus Daniel's parents and Janet. Turns out I love chaos.

In the middle of one of our weekly parties I hear the door ball ring. I'm not really surprised we've had guest members at our team nights before. Usually Ferrett, or Kwalski or Hammond one of Janet's nurses. But this time it's not SGC family behind our door, its real family.

"Dad!" I say.

"I'm sorry Sam, am I interrupting your welcome home party?" he asks almost blushing.

"No Dad, it's just our regular team nights, come on in," I said with a smile.

"Sam's Dad!" Daniel says. "Nice to meet you sir!" He exclaims pulling him in for a hug. Much to Dad's surprise.

"Dad this is Daniel, he works with Jack. His wife Sha're," I indicate pointing across the room. "And Teal'c, Drey'auc, and their son Rya'c. Daniel's parents Catherine and Ernest. McKay,"

"How come I'm the only one introduced by my last name, Samantha?" he protests.

Jack gives him a dirty look, "Because no one likes you McKay," he informs him. But the truth is McKay's grown on us all.

"And Janet," I add.

"Don't worry," Janet says slyly, "The test is multiple choice."

"My father, Jacob Carter," I say. The general impression is something like silent applause.

"People," Sha're says relieving Teal'c of his baby sized burden, "He didn't come here to meet all of us. He came here to meet his little grandson." She hands him over, "This one is David Jonathan."

This grin covers my dad's face.

"He's something else isn't he, Jacob," Jack said with a big grin.

"That he is," Dad says with a grin.

"Grandpa!" Charlie says.

Dad gives him another huge grin, "Hey Charlie, how's my little man?"

"Great, Grandpa, you see my brother?" he grins proudly.

"Yeah, Charlie," Dad says.

"He has my eyes," Charlie declares. It was Sha're who first said that to him, but Charlie passed on the news to everyone he's met since she said the words.

"He's got my eyes, Charlie, just like you," Jack teases.

"Nope, my eyes," Charlie insists.

"He's got Sammy's hair," Dad says his voice growing soft, "Laura's hair."

Everyone was thinking the question, but only Charlie was young enough to speak it, "Who is Laura?"

"Your Grandma, bud," Dad says smiling at him.

And Charlie gets that face. That same face he wears when he accidently mentions his mother. Charlie doesn't understand grief, thank God, and it sort of unnerves him.

I hear Davie make the cry I recognize as, "I'm hungry, Mom," and take him from Dad.

Jack left an hour ago to pick up Charlie from school. He took Davie with. Now he gets out of the empty car.

"Uh, Jack did you forget something?" I ask meeting him at the door.

"Nope, pretty sure that was you," he says with a smile.

"Jack you left here with a kid, to get another kid, and you return with no kids what is going on?"

"What's the date?" he responds laughing.

"What does the date have to do with you losing our children, Jack O'Neill….oh!" I say.

"Happy anniversary, Sam," he says opening the car door for me.

Sam's POV

Colorado Springs May 1993

The things which change our lives are often very small. Rings, and babies are tiny things, so are letters. I close my eyes. Three years ago Jack and I agreed to have two kids in three years. It sounded simple enough, and Davie certainly didn't delay in arriving. But baby number three doesn't have Jack's patience. Baby number three doesn't have Davie's timing. Baby number three does not exist.

It shouldn't matter. I should just go back to working on my dialing computers and wait. But there is the letter. An offer for black ops training. The sort of thing that will get me through the gate.

Two months. I can't leave my babies for two months. Man, Charlie would hate it that I thought of him as a baby. He's NINE, as he constantly reminds me. He says he's nine like college students say nineteen. Neither of course is anywhere near being an adult.

Jack enters the room, and I shove the letter under the mattress, "Hey Sam, you've got to start getting ready for your graduation. Charlie is all ready to go. I figured getting Davie dressed an hours before we leave would just mean we'd have to redress him. Your Dad cannot get over Davie "reading" that nursery rhyme book. He does know Davie just memorized them right? I talked to Mark, he's in town, so your families going to be there this time Dr. O'Neill…." He stop mid-sentence as he finally looks at me, "What's wrong Sam?"

"Nothing Jack," I say plastering on a smile.

"Don't nothing me," he says, "You have a really worried face on."

"Just thinking…about the future," I say trying to disarm him with a smile, "Isn't that what graduates are supposed to say?"

"Yeah, I suppose we haven't talked much about that. Are you going back to the SGC?"

"Jack," I say slowly, "I got another offer, and I know I can't take it, but I thought you should know…" I slide the letter out from under the mattress.

He smiles at me, leaving the envelope unopened "My offer to follow you where you want to go still stands, Sammy," he says. He opens up the letter and reads it carefully, "Black ops," he says looking in my eye. "So why is this out of the question?"

"The kids, Jack," she says.

"Two months, I can take care of them for two months."

"But there will be missions after that."

"Yes there will. You want this so you can go through the gate?"

"I never said I wanted this Jack," I say exasperated.

"No of course you didn't. But you've never taught those eyes of yours to keep your council. You want this. If you don't take it there has to be a very good reason, and guilt is not a good reason. Being a soldier doesn't make you a crappy Mom. You are a great mom, Sam. If you do this you will still be a great mom."

How could this man dispel my worst fears? The sort of fears you hide so deep you don't even know you have? "What about baby number three, Jack?" I ask softly.

His whole face lights up. Crap.

"Oh Jack, shit I'm sorry. Baby number three is still totally hypothetical," I tell him.

His face falls, and he turns away from me. I rub his back slowly as he grieves for a child that wasn't, that never was, someone with a bit less substance than a ghost or a shadow of a dream.

"Well then, Sammy, we've got lots of time for baby number three," and he turns to me and gives me an almost smile.

I press my forehead against his, "Is there a way we can have everything we want?"

He smiles, "Of course Sammy, but it involves patience."

"I don't want to make you wait, make us wait."

"Sam, if waiting is the way to make your dreams," he amends this as my mouth opens, "your PROFESSIONAL dreams come true, then so be it. Also it's not like we're totally waiting. We've got two kids," he fidgets with my hand that way he has, where he doesn't even notice he's doing it, but is none the less driving me crazy, "And if you only want two kids…"

"Patience Jack. We'll get our number three."

Sam's POV

Iraq October 1993

"Hello,"

I'm so relieved to hear his voice. It makes everything a little bit better. But right now I don't need a little bit better. I need a hell of a lot better. I try to talk, but the words don't come out. There are sobs blocking them, and I'm trying to keep the sobs inside.

"Hello," he says getting annoyed.

I make a sort of gasp which is my attempt at a talking, but I'm not even sure he hears it.

"Look, phones are for talking on, not breathing on, creep," and he's about to hang up.

"Jack," I say and there are sobs in it.

"Sam," he says concern and attentiveness making up for his earlier rudeness, "Are you ok?"

"No," I say.

"Physically, Sam," he says.

"I'm fine," and that just makes it worse.

"Ok, can you tell me where you are? Is it classified? If not I can fly up there, and…"

"No, Jack," I choke out.

"Sha're and Daniel can take the kids, you know they are dying for practice with their own little one on the way."

"No Jack, I'll be home tomorrow. I shouldn't have called, only…"

"I'm glad you called Sam," he says and I can tell he means it. "The mission went bad."

"Yeah," I say with a few tears.

"Really bad?"

"Yeah," he says.

"Team member in the infirmary or body bag kind of bad?"

"Body bagS, Jack."

"Jesus, Sam!" There is a long pause. "There aren't right words to say in a case like that. I could talk forever, but they'll still be dead. Black ops are horrible. Death is horrible. It's mean. It's cruel. It isn't fair."

"Jack, I should have saved them."

"I'm sure you did the best you could."

"Jack…" I say but nothing more comes out, because I can't tell him. I can't tell him because it's classified. But I also don't want to tell him. Because if I did he might never like me again. He might hate me for what I failed to do. He might hate me for what I did do.

"Samantha whatever the hell happened over there I still love you. I'd still love you no matter what you did. No matter what orders you followed. Do you hear me?" I'm crying hard. "Pretend I can hold you. Tomorrow I'll hold you. Cry," he mutters softly. And for a long time that is what I do. I cry and cry and cry.

"Sammy," he says when he's done, "You going to be ok?"

"Yeah," and I feel like I am.

"Tomorrow, tomorrow you can come home. Hug your sons. Curl up in my arms and cry."

"That sounds really great Jack," I said flinching as I remembered how close this was to his description of the night his wife died. "The mud Jack…" I start.

"I know, it's around your throat and over your head. But it will not choke you forever."

I don't say anything, "I've been under the mud and came up."

I smile, a tiny sad smile. "Too bad Gran isn't still here to slap me," I say. Gran died not long after Davie was born. She was eighty-nine years old, but I still felt as if she deserved a few more decades.

"Oh, if you need slapping, I'll take care of it," Jack says.

And in that minute I make a decision. I don't tell Jack, because he would try to talk me out of it. He would think I was doing it because I was scared. Carters don't get scared. Neither do O'Neill's. But that very second I decided I was done. I was done with black ops. If I was going to risk my life, and risk the worse fate of watching friends die I would do it only for the gate. If I didn't have enough combat experience yet for the SGC so be it. No gate for me.

But I was not going to do this ever again. I wasn't going to kill any more people just because our governments were at war. Our earth conflicts were nothing. There are things out there who take over humans and imprison them in their own body for thousands of years. If I ever lost another fellow soldier, if I ever take another life-it will be to stop them. It will not be the killing of another human who was just doing their job, the same job I did in killing them. I am done with that.

Sam's POV

Colorado Springs and Kelowna November 1993

I'd seen the stargate lit up thousands of times. It had stopped amazing me. But each and every one of those times I had seen it lit up from the control room. It's a very different experience to see it lit up right in front of you. I lift a tentative hand up to touch the shimmering event horizon. It ripples away from my fingers.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Ferreti mutters.

I nod. I feel his hand on my back and the nest minute I'm shoved through the gate. It is less than a second before I'm coming out on the other side. I'm kneeling on the floor nauseous, cold, and terrified. Good thing Jack warned me not to eat breakfast this morning.

"You ok?" someone asks. I look up at him. This must be the young diplomat who is going to lead us around Kelowna. Young being the key word.

"Yeah first time traveling through the gate," I say with a smile.

"That has got to be an amazing experience," he says with a huge boyish grin, he's looking at the gate in awe even though the event horizon is gone now, "Hi, I'm Jonas Quinn. My professor is actually supposed to be doing this tour, but he's working on some pretty important stuff. So you are stuck with his research assistant," Jonas puts out a hand to help me stand up.

Kwalsky stands near me and says, "She's married."

Jonas turns red, "I…I was just being friendly, I wasn't…."

"You don't need to protect me, Kwalsky," I say with a roll of my eyes.

"Sure do, friend's wife and all that."

"Jack better not have _asked_ you to protect me," I said my voice coming out like a threat.

"Didn't need to," Kwalsky says evenly, "It's implied by friendship."

I turn back to Jonas, "Alright, I'm Samantha O'Neill, this is Louis Feretti, and the idiot with a big mouth is Charles Kwalsky."

He grins, "Pleasure to make your acquaintance," he says.

The tour is over now. As far as I can tell this country doesn't have much to offer us. They have a couple of interesting artifacts to be sure. But they only found the gate and all of these artifacts eight years ago. They have no idea what anything means. To top that all off they also about sixty years behind us as far as technology goes. It's not exactly like they would make the most powerful allies in the world. None the less we'll probably make allies with them.

Jonas is walking up to us, I thought our job with him is done, "Sam," he says wearily, "There is something I was supposed to leave off the tour."

My eyes focus on him, "Really?" I'm careful not to ask the questions I really want to ask, "What?" and "Why?" I'm pretty sure they are implied anyway.

"They know you are more powerful than us, and they don't want this taken away from us by force. But you aren't the kind of person who would take things away from people. I don't think your people are that kind either," he says looking at me carefully. He wants me to confirm or deny. He wants me to speak for my whole freaking planet.

"We aren't, on the whole," I respond.

"Good, an honest answer when it would have been to your benefit to lie. No planet is perfect, I know mine isn't. But the thing is without telling you about the thing I'm not supposed to tell you about you don't have any reason to come back to this place. Isn't that right?" he asks carefully.

"We might make a few friendly missions…" I see the trust is eroding, "No, we probably won't be back."

"See, I want you to come back. Because this whole going through the gate thing. It sounds amazing. It sounds important."

You sound like my Charlie, like a little kid. I think in my head. By aloud I say, "It is, so what have you got?"

He grins, "A powerful mineral."

"Naquada," I supply. I'm interested, but we do have a naquada mine that supplies, well not enough, but a bit of the stuff.

"No naquadria," he says.

"It's pronounced naquada," I inform him.

"No, we've read about both words. Apparently naquadira is much more powerful than naquada. What we have is definitely naquadria."

Ok, something more powerful that naquada, that defiantly sounded interesting.

"What would you want in exchange for a sample of this stuff?" I ask cautiously.

"Oh, I'm not just talking about a sample. I'm talking about a lot of samples, and some research in a language I'm betting you guys are better at reading than we are. What we want in exchange would be some of those antibiotics you've been bragging about and information on the gate."

"The universe is not a friendly place, Jonas, information on the gate is very dangerous."

"You guys seem to be doing alright," he says with a smile.

"A lot of luck and a little skill, Jonas. I don't want to send your people out there without them really understanding what they are getting into."

"What if we had an exchange program? Like you take a certain young diplomat under your able wing for a few years and then he returns to start a stargate program on his own planet," and Jonas has a very bewitching grin.

Suddenly I'm seeing myself in Jonas Quinn. He's got the same sense of adventured that made me scream astronaut. That got me into my first plane when I was only twelve years old. The same sense of adventure that made me want to go through the gate. It's crazy, but I'm leaning toward the granting of this kid's wish.

"Alright Jonas, I suppose we can both discuss this with our superiors and see what we come up with."

"Yes!" he says, sounding just like Charlie again. And suddenly I know I'm looking at the fourth member of my team.


	6. Too Close

Too Close

Jack's POV

Colorado Springs March 1994

I always get the same greeting when I come home. It doesn't matter if I've only been gone for the day or if I've been gone on an overnight mission. First there is Taurus' barking. Then there is Taurus' leaping around me. Then there is Sam's kiss, and Charlie's hug, and Davie's leap into my arms. Best routine in the world.

But something is different today. When my car door slams Taurus lets out one bark, and that's it. The bark is almost cut off in the middle like he forgot himself, and is ashamed about it. The door is locked even though it's only five o'clock, and we never lock the doors until it's night time and everyone who is coming home that night is snuggled in. I slip my key into the lock and enter the house, and it's still too silent.

"Sam! Charlie! Davie! I'm home!" I shout. Sam is running down the stairs. I don't understand her reaction considering I wasn't even at a mission. I just went to the base today. But I put my arms out figuring she's waiting for a hug.

She slams into me. Hard. Hard enough that I slam back against the door which shuts. It's not a hug really, more like a strange wrestling move. Her fists are slamming into my chest. She's not really punching me. She has enough combat training that if she really wanted to hurt me I wouldn't still be standing. Still her intend is obviously not to NOT hurt me either, and she is causing a decent amount of pain.

I grab onto her wrists and hold them out so she can't do me any more damage, "What the hell is going on Sam?" I ask her.

She tilts her head toward me and I can see tears in her eyes, "Dammit Jack," she says.

My stomach falls, and my knees go week. Shit. Something big is wrong. "What happened Sam?" I ask.

She's crying, "Davie…" she doesn't finish her thought. She's crying hard. I know I should stand her and hold her until she tells me. But I can't. Something happened to my son.

"Davie! Davie! Davie!" I scream running upstairs since that's were Sam came from.

Charlie gets to the top of the stairs about the same time I do, "It's ok dad," he says.

"Ok, kid," I say, but I had no idea what was going on, "What happened?" I still want to see Davie.

Charlie grimaces, "Dad you forgot to lock your gun up," he says coolly.

Oh. My. God. "You had my gun Charlie?" I ask my voice sounding all strange in my own ears. My God where was Davie. He shakes his head.

"Davie?" I ask choked up.

"He's taking a nap. He got freaked out from Mom's crying," he says, "He's ok." he says again.

I feel faint, and I have to sit down on the top of the stairs. Charlie sits down next to me. I pull him into a bone crushing hug. "Tell me everything that happened."

"Mom picked me up from school. I gave her my school pictures, we got them back today. Davie runs upstairs. A few minutes later I notice the door to your study is open. It's never open." I shut my eyes. I was running late to work today, and there was a paper inside of my study that I absolutely needed. I must have forgotten to lock it. "Then I go in, and Davie is holding your gun. I tell him to put it down. Call Mom in. Dad," he looks at me with a look I'll never forget, "It was LOADED. You don't put a gun away loaded."

I'm holding him and crying now. I really want to be holding Davie, we could have lost him.

As soon as I open Davie's door his little two and a half year old eyes light on me, "I'm sorry Dad," he whispers.

"No kid, I'm the one who is sorry, so sorry," he says.

I hold him for five or ten minutes. It isn't nearly long enough. Then I remember Sam. She's pretty pissed at me. She has every reason to be pissed at me. If it weren't for her…If it weren't for Charlie. If it weren't for her taking Charlie shooting, my actions would have resulted in the death of her son. I'm not even sure if I can fix this.

I walk downstairs. She made herself a cup of coffee. She probably did this about the time I went upstairs. But I doubt she's taken so much as a sip out of the cup. She's curled up on the couch, her knees tucked under her chin, and she's crying.

"God Sam I'm sorry," she doesn't respond, "Thank you," I'm bawling, "Thank you for saving him. If you hadn't taught Charlie, I…I…can't imagine."

She's crying harder now. I walk over and slide myself between the back of the couch and her. I put my arm around her to keep her from falling of the couch. The tight squeeze forces her to untuck her legs.

"I walk in, and there is a loaded gun…" she says crying for a minute or two before she can continue, "…and I just think…what if…."

"Shh," I say, "No one ifs, you saved him."

"You left it unlocked Jack. You didn't lock it," she adds hesitantly.

"I know Sam…I'm so sorry. God I'm sorry," I say.

"Our son almost died," she says slowly like I'm a stupid child.

I want to her know that I know it. Because if she keeps saying this stuff I may fall apart. Like fall apart in a way where I can't be put back together. But there really aren't words for this. There aren't words in the human language which adequately describe the emotion, "Shit, I'm sorry I almost killed our son." So I just say that.

The anger and tension fall out of her, and she's like a rag doll for a minute. I'm not stupid, she hasn't forgiven me. She's just done with the furry for now. I hope she doesn't forgive me that easy, because I thought she really loved Davie.

"I'm going to go see Davie," she says after a minute or two laying there without moving.

I nod. She gets up, and walks zombie like upstairs. When I hear the door of Davie's room close I stand up. I go into my locked office, and take the gun out of the locked cabinet. I grab all the ammo, and leave. I want the thing that almost killed my son as far away from him as possible, as soon as possible.

When I come back to the house over an hour later Davie, Charlie, and Sam are sitting at the table. They are eating macaroni and cheese in a strained silence.

"Can I join you?" I ask.

Charlie nods, and Sam doesn't object so I dish myself a bowl from the stove and sit down. Nobody makes a noise.

Davie throws down his spoon, shouts, "I said I was sorry!" and storms out of the room. Sam puts her head down on the table and starts to bawl. I follow Davie out of the room. He's locked himself in his bedroom, and I start to panic, gut wrenching, total terror panic. Even though it doesn't make sense. I need to be able to see Davie right now. To see with my own eyes that he's ok. I'm about to call Sam to come help, because lord knows, that woman can pick a lock. But Davie opens the door. I've got him in a bone crushing hug in a second.

"I'm sorry Dad," he says.

"We're not mad Davie. We're terrified. And I'm the one who is sorry. I almost lost you today. Do you understand that?" I say pulling him back. He nods, "I don't think you do Davie. I don't think you can. Parents are capable of a kind of panic a kid never is. I almost lost you today, and if I would have it would have been all my fault. I almost killed my son." The last words are like a bullet bouncing around in my head. I close my eyes against it.

"Dad I'm sorry. I'm not allowed in study. And I'm not supposed to play with gun toys. I thought it was a gun toy."

"Don't. Ever. Do. It. Again." I say holding him close and smelling his hair. Davie's hair has a wonderful smell. It's sort of a mystery as to why since he uses the same shampoo as the rest of us, but none the less it is a very different smell.

"I won't Dad."

I say, "I'm so sorry Davie. I'm so sorry. You could have died. It would have been my fault. I am a horrible father."

"No you aren't, Dad," he says with almost a laugh. "You are the best Daddy ever. You play with me all the time."

"I think almost killing your son sort of erases all of that," I say pulling him closer.

"It was my fault Dad," he says.

I shake my head, "It was my fault Davie, all my fault."

I hear Sam's footsteps in the hallway. I don't even stir. No doubt she's checking on Dav-ie again. She's been doing that about every fifteen minutes since he went to bed. But I hear the footsteps stop at the threshold of the guest bed.

"What are you doing in here?" she asks.

"I figured you could do without my company tonight," I say.

"I could do with someone to hold me tonight," she says softly, the end of her words being choked with tears. So I get up, and go back to our bed. We could both do with someone to hold us tonight.

Jack's POV

Colorado Springs-SGC May 1995

I'm a little nervous when I hear an SGC voice on my phone. Sam's on a mission. She is going to a planet to see a black hole. She is stoked about this whole thing. McKay-my teams an annoying as hell astrophysics- was jealous when her team got the mission.

"SG-1 is has a 1 in it," he points out with aggravation, "Doesn't that mean we get the best missions?"

"Normally," I say, "But SG-2 happens to have the number one astrophysics. The only reason she isn't on SG-1 is she's married to the commander of the team. So suck it up McKay, I'm sure she'll let you take a peek at the pictures."

Back to the phone call at hand. "Sir," Sergeant Harriman can't quite find the words to say, "Sir, your wife wanted me to tell you she is on base, but wouldn't be coming home."

"Is she ok?" I ask in worry. Although to be honest the fact that Walter is calling probably means she's ok. Sick or injured usually means a call from Janet.

"Yes, it's just…she's looking after a little girl," Walter is faltering. There are probably a lot of reasons for this. He may not be cleared to give the information. Sam may have told him not to. Most likely though he just don't feel it is his place to inform me my family might be expanding.

"How little?" I ask.

"Uh…eleven or twelve," he says.

"She have a name?" I ask.

"Not one we know sir," he says getting more comfortable seeing as I seem to have favorable feeling on the idea.

Suddenly a horrible thought strikes terror into my mind, "The girl? She alright."

There is a pause, a long pause. Shit. "She's been through a hell of a lot sir. But physically it looks like she's alright," Walter says.

"Family?" I ask.

"Her whole planet is dead," Walter replies softly.

"I'd call that a hell of a lot. Can you tell me where they are?"

"Sam's quarters," he says.

"Thank you, Sargent," I say hang up the phone. Sha're is working today, but Hammond should have left the base half an hour ago. He doesn't sound particularly surprised by my phone call.

"You need me to watch the kids Jack?" he asks as soon as he has heard my voice.

"If it isn't too much trouble, sir," I say.

"No trouble at all. I suppose you are going to base to make friends with our little guest," he says with a smile.

"Yes sir," I say.

"Congratulations, Jack."

"For?" I asks.

"Isn't that what you're supposed to say to someone who gets a new addition to their family?" he asks slyly.

"I haven't talked to Sam yet…" I begin.

"Oh trust me Jack, Sam is in love with that little girl," he says, "Bring those kids over and go see for yourself."

"Thank you general," I say.

"No problem, Jack."

I'm nervous. Here I am on the base where I spend all my working hours. Moving toward a room which is identical to the one I sleep in while on base, and I'm nervous! Nervous to go have a conversation with my wife, and meet…well I'm not quite sure what I'll be calling her yet. I suppose that's why I'm nervous.

I knock on the door. Sam's face appears just barely around it. It's tired and drawn out. She's been through hell. Basically we end up going through hell just about every time the gate is activated, but this is different. This time she saw a whole planet dead. This time there was a kid left behind.

"Jack," she says opening the door the rest of the way.

I walk into the room. There is a little girl laying on the bed asleep. A smile comes to my face.

"Jack, I don't know how much you were told…" she beings in a voice that is just a touch above a whisper.

I follow suit with a quiet voice, "She ok? Janet gave her a clean bill of health?" Sam nods, "What did the people on her planet die from?"

"Disease," Sam says.

My eyes go wide, "But she doesn't have it right?"

"No," Sam says putting her arm on mine to calm me down.

"Do they know why?" Sam shakes her head. "Ok, do we know how much of the death she saw?"

Sam's eyes are wet, and she glances away while she sniffles loudly, "No, she hasn't talked yet. So we don't know any details, but that in itself means it was…"

"Probably pretty bad, yeah," I say looking at this little thing. Eleven or twelve. Walter was probably right on that. That would mean that her and Charlie were about the same age. I wonder if people would think they were twins.

"Jack…" she starts looking at the girl and looking in my eyes, like she's trying to figure something out.

"This is baby number three isn't it?" I ask.

I see relief flood into her face, "She isn't a baby, but…yeah."

Sam looks really exhausted. She's just been on a mission, then probably spent some time in the infirmary, then the worry.

"Sam, why don't you go home, get some rest. I'll stay with her."

"I promised not to leave her Jack," she says a bit louder, and a lot more forceful than the rest of the conversation had been.

The little girl's eyes flutter open. I happen to be in her line of sight. When her eyes hit on my terror shots through her, and she sits up.

Sam immediately gets in her line of sight, "Hey, it's ok now," she says in the same voice that chasses away Davie's nightmares, "This is Jack. He's my husband."

The girl tilts her head at me.

"Hi, nice to meet you," I say with a smile. "Is it alright if I watch you for a little bit? See Sam here has two sons who would like to see her." I'm really thinking about her getting some sleep.

"Don't go," she says looking at Sam.

I thought the kid hadn't talked. Then I look at Sam. Oh, first words then. Where is the baby book when you need it?

Sam grins at her, "Ok, I'll stay. Feel like telling me your name?"

"Cassandra," she says.

Oh, perfect. Charlie, Davie, and Cassie. Their names match. My eye catches on a picture on the table. There are dead people with spots covering the bottom. God. But Sam's added our family to it, all around Cassie. I'd recognize that lettering in our names anywhere.

"I hurt," that little voice says.

"Where?" Sam says sitting down next to her, staring into her eyes. Cassie points to her chest. Not a good sign.

"Come on sweetie, let's go see Janet," I say gently to Cassie. She smiles at me, and gets up.

Sam and Janet are talking about Cassie's health. There are using big scary earth terms that Cassie doesn't understand. I don't understand them either, but I can tell by their tone it's nothing serious. I have to figure out how to stop the little girl form worrying.

"Jack," she says.

"Yep," with a big bright smile.

"Charlie?" she asks.

"Charlie is about your age. How old are you?" I ask.

"Twelve," she says.

"Well than you get to be the big sister, Charlie is just eleven. Then little Davie he's turning four next week."

"My parents died," she says her little haunting eyes looking through my eyes. Ok, so not so good at the distraction.

"I know Cassie, I am so sorry, but you are safe now. Ok? You're safe. Everything is going to be alright. We're going to take care of you, now."

The talking has stopped. Sam's ready to leave.

"Everything alright?" I ask.

Sam knows I want the reader's digest version so she says, "She's fine."

I lift Cassie off the table. We only make it about three steps before Cassie collapses. I scoop her up and lay her back on the table. My heart is beating a thousand miles a minute. She just lays there. Doc Fraiser feels for her heart beat. It doesn't look good.

"Code blue, code blue in the lab!" she shouts. She's pumping on Cassie's tiny chest. Oh God, CPR.

"Wha….what….what do I do?" Sam asks. I pull her back for two reasons. One she needs to be out of the way of the people who are going to save Cassie, and two she really needs to be held right now. I hold her back close to my stomach. She's tense against me. I'm tense against her too. Maybe I need to be held as much as Sam does.

Doctors and nurses are everywhere. I don't follow what they are saying, but I do know they are giving her the paddles. She's twelve. I look away at the moment when they are shocking her back to life. It looks like her heart is beating. The doctor is listening.

"What is it?" Sam asks.

"I don't know. Listen," Doc Fraiser says, she hands Sam the telescope.

"Oh my God," Sam says.

"What the hell is wrong with my little girl," I demand a bit more loudly and forcefully than the situation called for perhaps.

"I don't know, but it wasn't there ten hours ago," Doc Fraiser says.

I'm not exactly the waiting room kind of guy. It's not like I win awards for most patient guy in the universe on a regular basis. The SGC infirmary doesn't even have a waiting room. Just a hallway. This is actually better though. Waiting rooms have chairs, and you are expected to sit. Hallways just have floor, and you are expected to walk. Probably not walking in big elliptical at a fast rate though.

"Jack, so help me, if you don't sit down I'm going to shoot you," Sam says. Sam is sitting down, on the floor leaning against the wall of the hallway. Daniel is sitting down right next to her. McKay and Teal'c are off taking the pictures of the black hole back on Cassie's planet. Kwalsky took our kids, or else he would no doubt be waiting too. Ferreti and Jonas are on the other side of the hallway.

I slide into place next to Jonas. This is the first time I've seen the boy when he didn't have a goofy grin on his face. My opinion of him has just increased by leaps and bounds.

Janet walks out into the hallway and looks startled at all the people sitting there. Sam, Jonas, and I all leap to our feet. Jonas' reaction probably has nothing to do with Cassie though. Sam long ago whispered about his secret (not so secret) crush on the good doctor.

"How is she?" I ask looking into Janet's eyes.

"We couldn't get the object out," she says not meeting my eyes.

"Do we know what it is?" Sam asks.

Janet shakes her head, "But you can go say hi to her," she offers with a sad smile. She doesn't have to ask us twice.

We still don't have the slightest idea what is wrong with Cassie. Sam and Daniel are off with Janet trying to figure out, something, something, not going to pretend I listened.

"Don't you have to go home, Jack?" she asks.

"Naw," I say lowering myself down to the spot on the floor where she's building with blocks. They don't have any blocks on her planet.

"What about your boys?" she asks looking me in the eyes. I think to myself, my boys are safe, you need me more. But I can't actually say that to her.

"People are looking after them until you are well enough to come home. Then you can meet them."

"Am I going to die?" she asks. Ok, so apparently I'm a crappy liar

"No Cassie, you're going to be fine."

"Everyone on my planet died," she says in a voice eerily devoid of emotion.

I use my arm to pull her close, "I know baby girl. But you aren't there anymore." I feel the sobs begin. She cries into my shoulder for a long time.

"Jack," Sam says. Her lips are in a firm line. Cassie is asleep in bed after her crying episode.

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

"She's a bomb," Sam said.

"What?" I say more loudly than I meant to.

Sam puts her finger to her lips in the universal sign for shut the hell up. "The object is a bomb. It was meant to form after we brought her through the gate, so we wouldn't notice until it's too late. In about an hour and a half that little girl is going to…" she sobs once. I move in to hold her, but she brushes me away. "How could they do this to her?"

"They are snakeheads Sam." I say feeling my own anger rise.

"We've got to take her back through the gate," Sam says not looking in my eyes.

"They want us to leave her there? With the dead people? Again? To die?"

"Jack, I know it is awful, and if we could save her by giving our own lives I'd do it in a second. But if she says here, she still dies, and we all die with her."

"For the record, Sam, this is the worse day ever," I sigh as I pick up the little girl. We're about half way to the gate room when Cassie opens up her yes. The instant she sees my face she breaks into a wide grin.

"Where are we going, Jack?" she asks.

"We're going on a little trip through the gate," I say with a smile. She motions for me to let her down. I do, and she walks the rest of her way to her own doom on her own two feet having no idea what she is heading toward.

As soon as we enter the gate room Cassie goes down. It happens so fast I don't really have time to catch her. But Sam acts a little faster and lowers her to the ground. Doc. Fraiser rushes in, "She is in a coma," she says sounding stunned.

They had the stargate going, and shut it off when they saw Cassie collapse. Now it starts up again, and I hear Walter announce that it's SG-1's iris code. The iris flashes open and Teal'c and McKay come through

McKay looks at the scene below the gate and says, "Do not send her through the gate!"

I am so relieved, you cannot even believe it.

Turns out that my relief was a little premature. What is going to happen to Cassie hasn't actually got a whole lot better. I look over at Sam. She's doing about as well with all of this as I am. Right now the plan is to send this little girl thirty floors below ground. Leave her there, and wait for the boom.

The car stops, we're here. I get out of the car, and open the door for Sam. "I'll take her," I say with a smile. The girl is still mercifully unconscious. That just might make the plan almost doable. Almost.

"No, I've got her Jack," she says softly.

I open the elevator door for them. I watch them walk inside. I watch that hauntingly sad look in Sam's eyes as the doors close. Then I am done watching.

"Jack, she's going back down," Daniel says a few minutes later.

God no. I can't lose them both.

"Sam! Sam!" I scream into the intercom with all that I am worth.

"Jack, I'm staying," she replies in that voice all devoid of emotion. When Sam uses that voice you know she's actually feeling an incredible amount of emotion.

"Hell no Sam," I say letting my emotion get into my voice.

"Jack, she woke up," she says.

"Oh, God. Sam you have to get up here right now. Sam! What am I supposed to tell the boys?"

There is a crack in her voice now, "Tell them that I loved them more than anything. That I'll never stop loving them. But at the end of the day you have to be…you have to be someone you aren't ashamed off at three in the morning when no one else is around. Tell them to be that kind of person. Tell them….tell them I'm sorry. I am sorry Jack. I love you."

"Sam! Sam! Damn it! Sam!" There is no response, but she might still be able to hear me, "Sam I love you!"

I look at my watch. This is the most horrible thing I've ever done. Counting down the last seconds of the lives of people I love.

"Three….two…one."

Silence. Silence is good.

"I don't hear anything," Daniel says.

Hope comes to my heart. But I can't do that yet. It could just mean that my heart gets broken twice instead of only once, "We could have been wrong about the time." I point out.

"We could have been wrong about what would happen," Daniel says.

"Sam!" I scream into the intercom. "Sam!"

There is a long pause before I hear her say, "We're okay. Nothing happened. Cassandra's fine, I'm fine. It didn't happen. I just…I couldn't leave her, Jack."

"How did you know, Sam?" I ask.

She says, "It occurred to me that she first slipped into the coma when we brought her closer to the Stargate. As soon as we got her far enough away from the Stargate, she woke up. And I…knew."

"You knew…" I say breathing in relief for the first time.

"I knew," she says.

"You could have let me know, Sam!" I say, the worry flying through the too loud words.

Cassie fidgets. Actually her fidgets are just like mine. Except there are a lot less of them. Cassie has to be pretty darn nervous before her fidgets start to come out.

"They are going to love you," I reassure her with a smile in the rear view mirror.

"They know I'm not from Toronto right?" she asks.

"Well, Charlie does, Cassie, but Davie's a little young to get the whole…" I begin.

"Alien thing?" she says with a wide grin.

"Cassie…" Sam warns giving her a glance in the rearview window. She's terrified this kid is going to blow cover.

"Sorry Sam," the little girls says with something that's almost a laugh. Cassie hasn't actually laughed yet. Whatever gets her to do that will have to go down in her baby book next to first words and that family drawing. Yes, I'm actually making a baby book for my new twelve year old daughter. Sam insists I don't actually show it to her. Someday though, I think she'll think it's hilarious.

Her two brothers are waiting for her on the front lawn. The entirety of SG-1, SG-2 and their families are behind them with balloons and banners welcoming her home. Didn't we tell them to keep it low key? Sam glances over at my annoyance.

"Don't worry Jack. There's cake."

I glance back, Cassie is grinning. Ok, this could work.

"Cassanda," Davie says holding out his chubby little arms to her. She grins at him, and that's all the invitation he needs to leap into her arms. She's so startled she almost drops him. "Cassanda," he whispers confidently, "Will you play humpy dumpty?"

Cassie looks at me, apparently expecting some sort of explanation, "Kid likes nursery rhymes," I offer.

"What are nursery rhymes?" she asks.

"You know, poems that are meant for little kids," Sam offers with a smile.

Cassie just shrugs.

Jeez no blocks and no nursery rhymes. Plus we've discussed that there are no swings, dogs, or cartoons.

"This isn't Toronto is it?" Charlie asks with a grin.

"No it isn't," Cassie says.

"Do they have cake in Toronto?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

"And Dad didn't introduce you to cake in the week you were on the base?"

"Sam gave me jello," she said.

He makes a face, "Come have cake."

But they don't make it to the cake. At least not for a while. Davie slaps her on the shoulder yelling, "You're it."

I'm about to step in and explain it, but it turns out they DO have tag in Toronto.


	7. Possession

A/N In case anyone is wondering why I'm not doing the episodes in order, this story is AU. Sam's computer in this universe is simply spitting out locations in a different order than her computer in our universe. Some worlds we conveniently visit at the same time, because earlier or later would have resulted in a different outcome.

Also the years will not coordinate with the series. Here's why. I went off of when the movie came out, and then went one year later than that to start with the episodes. The logic behind this is that was that was how long the break was for our characters. Of course in the real world the two were further apart.

Angst warning on this chapter, though we have a bit of humor to begin.

Sam's POV

Colorado Springs July 1995

I owe Janet big time. That is my only thought as I lay in the infirmary. I've got a lot of company here. My team of course, most of the people who work at the SGC, and my family, and that last one would be my fault. Or I guess we could blame the damned alien virus. But either way it's been an interesting couple of days. Most of the people who are recovering from the illness don't have any memory of it. That is a good thing. But I remember. Lucky me.

I should have known. We went to this planet that is half in darkness and half in light. It's like a giant metaphore. On the darks side of the planet were people who act like cavemen. On the light side were these people Jonas called, um I don't remember, but definitely not cavemen. Anyway we figured they were different species.

Oh, were we wrong.

The difference between the "touched" and "untouched" a contagious disease. We didn't figure that out on the planet. We didn't figure that out on base. We didn't figure that out until I went home, and gave this virus to my family.

My first clue should have been when I hear screaming upstairs. I run up there and Cassie and Charlie are in a fight. I'm talking hair pulling, fist punching, kicking and screaming kind of fight. They aren't pulling punches either. I mean these kids are going at it. They have never fought. I mean they have only been siblings for a couple of months, so they are still in this honeymoon state. I pull them apart. I chew them out. I bandage them up. I figure it is over.

My second clue should have been Jack. Jack trying to seduce me in the middle of the day with all three kids in the house and awake. But that didn't tip me off either. I was just flattered, and excited for tonight, when they wouldn't all be awake.

My third clue should have been when Charlie started screaming at Cassie that she was nothing more than "a stupid alien." And Jack started screaming back about how Charlie used to like aliens.

My fourth clue should have been how I was seriously considering taking Jack up on his previous offer as a way to get him to stop screaming at his son.

My fifth clue should have been the way Davie locked himself in the bathroom with the chocolate I thought I had well hidden on a high shelf. Turns out my child is too smart. He figured out how I lock pick the doors, and figured out a way to lock them so I couldn't do that anymore. Charming.

But like I said none of these things tipped me off. By the time I realized something must be seriously wrong we were in pretty rough shape. Charlie was biting Cassie's arm, Davie was kicking Cassie, and Cassie was punching one of her brother's with each arm. I look at them and think, ok something is wrong, this is not normal.

"Jack we have to get them to the infirmary." I say.

"What? Who?" he says absently, and I notice he's staring at me, with bedroom eyes. This is not good, because if we don't have any self control…I'm distracted by him for a moment and when I come back I know we have to move now. Because any longer, and we're going to totally lose it.

"The kids, the kids are sick." I say.

"What?" he repeats.

"We're sick too, come on, I think I brought something back through the gate," I say. I load the kids up in the car, and there is slapping and crying, and I'm trying desperately to focus on the road.

Jack gets road rage and throws Davie's shoe at a passing car. I'm not sure how Davie's shoe ended up in the front seat anyway.

My children's behavior is making me furious, and I'm really trying to calm down, because I terrified of what might happen if I get mad.

"Don't make me come back there," I hear Jack threaten. Oh my God, what if Jack is the first parent ever to follow through on this threat? What if he really goes back there? I mean we've already established whatever this is pretty much eliminates self-control, and increases aggressive behavior. Jack is unbuckling his seat belt. Oh God.

"Jack you can't go back there."

"I've got to get the little hooligans to shut up…" he says.

"Jack, they are small, they make small bruises. You are big, you will make big bruises."

"I'm not going to hurt my kids, Sam…" then he looks at me, "You're probably right," he says buckling back up.

Then a book, an encyclopedia even, smacks Jack on the back of the head. I'm a little proud our kids have an encyclopedia in the car. I'm more horrified they threw it. He losses it. I'm trying to hold him in the seat and drive at the same time. But the problem with this theory is that Jack takes my full attention to fight. It's not really something I can do single handedly. The more I fight with him the angrier he gets, and I'm swerving all over the road.

"For God's sake Jack, sit down before you accidently hurt someone," I finally shout. We're all pretty far gone at this point, but he's still there enough that he sits down and just sits there muttering the sort of things crabby Grandpas' say, "In my day we had respect for our elders," and what not.

We finally get to the base. I lose Davie about the second we're through security. Figures, I'm blaming Jack for this one, because I've never had the urge to roll a wheelie chair down the hallway. Ok, that's a lie, but Jack probably has had the urge way more frequently so I'm still going to blame him for this one.

Charlie has a huge gash on his forehead. So now we know who would win a fight between Cassie and Charlie. I'm just hoping that this ends before we find out whether Jack or I would win a fight. Jack takes the rest of the kids to the infirmary while I search out Davie.

I arrive at the infirmary holding Davie by the ear. Admit it Moms you've always wanted to do that. Janet gives me a horrified look, and quickly whisks the kid off with one of her nurses.

"Look, Sam I'm sorry, but we've had to double up on room already. This thing is completely out of hand. You are going to have to share a room with Jack."

And after that, thankfully, at last, quite a bit too late, my memory finally does fail me a little bit. Luckily I have a great friend like Janet who is able to fill me in on the fact that when she went in to give us a sedative with General Hammond by her side…well, let's just say Jack and I weren't fighting.

Then Janet came up with this miracle anti-histamine cure and everyone is feeling better. Not exactly proud of themselves, but better anyway. Except I can't make eye contact with the General right now.

Sam's POV

Colorado Springs March 1996

I haven't really been able to trust my children, or myself, since the whole Brocca virus incident. But right now they are all acting like angels. Cassie is actually quite the mother hen. She had three younger siblings on her planet. I watch as she licks her finger, reaches over, and whips a smudge off Davie's face. He would freak out if I did that, but from his big sister anything goes. Still, I'm glad my Dad is sitting next to her-because I know this responsible young woman can cause head wounds if she wants to.

I look over at Jack and smile. We're both getting promoted. He's going to be a Colonel while I get to be a Captain. That's the sort of thing that happens when you save the world, apparently even when you save the world while defying direct orders.

I can remember when my husband first hatched this hair brain idea, "Hammond's given up. They're going to bury the 'gate day after tomorrow."

Daniel didn't just want to go anywhere through the gate. He wanted to go to an address he got universe hoping through a magic mirror. We didn't know anything about this place except that in another universe an alien species we don't know thought it were the source of a Gou'ald attack. Jack basically thought the fact that Daniel wanted to follow a map given him in a parallel universe made you a few fries short of a happy meal.

Daniel's frustration finally made him was eloquent. Frustration was the only thing that would ever do that. He said, "Okay, well don't you think we should see if we can stop the same slaughter from happening here? Let me ask you something, Jack. If we don't go through now, and the Goa'uld do attack later, how are you gonna to feel?"

Jack admits he'd feel like an idiot. Then he asks for volunteers of all those present. That includes all of SG-1 and SG-2. Everyone is pretty quick to volunteer with the exception of McKay. He's pretty gun shy after the whole event on Argos. He wondered off with some woman (I'm told there were drugs involved) and ended up getting turned into an old man by some sexually transmitted robots. We saved him (after he got REALLY old). The whole event changed him. He's been somber and cautious ever since then.

Anyway, back to defining direct orders in order to save the world. Daniel knows that Gou'ald are coming. Coming like, now. Our government in all of its brilliance picks this exact moment to close down the gate.

They tell us that we cannot go through the gate ever again. And oh yeah, your world is about to be destroyed. But when all this was going on I wasn't thinking about the world being destroyed. I was just thinking about Cassie, and Charlie, and Davie. And I tell you what no Gou'ald was ever going to get their hands on my children.

So in the end our two teams slip through the gate, and end up on…a ship. Apparently you can put stargates on ships. Who knew? We quickly figured out that the ship was headed to earth. We thought we had a lot of time, but our lives never work out like that. So with a little C-4, some old friends of Teal'c's and the kind of amazing good luck only we could have, we ended up blasting two Gou'ald ships to smithereens. Then most amazing part of this story is the "lived to tell the tale."

Lived to tell the tale and get a few new pins in the process. So here I am standing next to my husband and a few good friends turning into a Captain!

Afterward Dad pulls me aside to talk to me. "Just between us, your cover stories could use a little polish."

Jack and I always had the deal that we wouldn't lie to each other. That's why he never asked me about classified stuff. Of course now we don't have to hide what we do for a living from one another. Dad, and I have always rattled our cover stories off to one another. It's weird to do that to someone you know isn't going to believe them. "Sorry, Dad, I don't know what you're talking about," I tell him with a smile. My dad and my relationship has gotten a lot better in the last few years. Ever since that Christmas when I told him to cut the crap. But things are still less than ideal.

Dad smiles at me, "No, of course not, I'm out of line. But whatever it is you really analyze in that mountain, deep space or no deep space, it can't be as exciting as the real thing. I'm talking about getting you into NASA, Sam. I'm talking about you actually going to space someday."

Dad hasn't pushed this in forever. I've let him know that I'm happy. With my professional career, with my personal life. I'm happy. He's let me know he still wants me to be an astronaut, but that he's happy too. I so thought this issue was over.

"Dad, what is this about? I thought we'd talked about this. I love my job. What I'm doing, is exactly what I want to be doing. I wouldn't want to be an astronaut now if they asked me." I ask.

"I know that, and I was prepared to wait. Wait until you got bored. Wait until the kids got older. Wait until Jack retired, whatever. But I called in some markers. I made a call to Bollinger himself. Head of NASA…" he says.

I close my eyes, "Dad, I don't want you to do this for me. I never wanted you to do this for me. Besides, I don't want to be an astronaut anymore. Not just, 'not right now,' never. It's not my dream anymore."

"Father's have dreams too, Samantha," he says. I know what he means. I am way more protective of my kid's dreams than I ever was of my own. He's crying. My dad never cries. The last time he cried was…oh God, when Mom died.

"What's wrong?" I ask I can feel my own tears. I feel my chest tightening. I'm in full panic mode.

"Sam…I have cancer."

We are having a pretty celebratory team night. After all everyone in the military has increased a rank today. I'm watching Dad play with Davie and Sha're and Daniel's daughter Hasina on the floor. Dad's building a B-52 out of logos. Ferretti is building a death glider. Much like the one he almost died in a few month ago. I'm sort of excited for the showdown they are planning. But mostly I'm just sad.

Daniel looks at me, "Sam," he says, and cocks his head toward the patio. I follow him.

"So what's going on?" he asks concerned.

"Nothing," I say staring at the stars.

"Well correct me if I'm wrong, but when people get promoted aren't they usually ah…happy?" he says.

"Yeah," I say. I really don't feel like talking about it. But I know that Daniel isn't going to let it go at that. But I'm at least going to make him work for the spilling of my guts.

"You seemed happy until you talked to your dad." Daniel gives my father a death glare from across the room, "If he said something to hurt you, I'll…"

The idea of Daniel threating my father strikes me as funny. I snort, "you'll what Daniel?"

"Get Teal'c to take care of it," he says laughing at himself.

"I appreciate that Daniel," I say seriously, "but my dad didn't do anything wrong."

"But he did say some that upset you," Daniel says looking at me carefully.

"He has cancer," I admit.

Daniel pulls me into a hug, "God Sam, I'm so sorry."

I find myself crying. "The worst part is…he's so unselfish about it. He just wants to make sure I get to be an astronaut. I mean, he's dying, and he's just trying to do something for me. Something I don't want. And I can't tell him why. I can't say hey Dad it's ok. I saved the planet. I don't need your help to go into space. I do it all the time. I've been to other planets, unlike astronauts." I'm crying hard.

"Sam, you know he's proud of you right?" Daniel is pretty good at hearing the things that no one says. "God Sam, how could he not be proud of you? You do know you're just about the most intelligent person on the planet? You're an amazing Mom, you've given him three amazing grandkids. You are a great solider. A good person," I smiling at him, "But you don't need to hear this from me. You don't care if _I'm_ proud of you. Go talk to him. Let him tell me how amazing you are."

"That's all true, except for one part," I say.

"What's that?" Daniel asks.

"I _do_ care what you think of me, Daniel, thanks."

"I hope your Dad gets better, Sam," he says seriously.

I come back in and Kawalsky has taken over my dad's B-52. Kawalsky and Ferretti are engaged in a battle with one another. There is a pretty heated room wide argument about which one would win, and every once in a while something classified is slipping out. For now my Dad is taking references to alien technology as a joke. That probably won't last that long. Now there are two reasons for me getting him into the kitchen.

"Dad," I say.

He comes in to the kitchen.

"You feeling ok?" I ask.

He smiles, "I'm fine, Sam. This is going to go on for a while," I know that. We talked about the details. But that isn't exactly comforting. Slow death isn't much better than quick death. In fact, it's kind of worse.

I hug him close. Both because I want to, and I don't want him to see my face as I say this, "Daddy, I'm sorry I'm not the child you wanted." He wanted a boy (but not the boy he got two years later in my brother). Wanted a career person not a mother. Wanted an astronaut.

He pulls away from me and looks at me. I look away. He takes my hand in his chin, and forces my eyes to meet his. They are searching mine, and they are wet. "How could you ever think that Sammy? You are better than the best I could ever hope for. Sammy, you are amazing. I'm so proud of you. I'm sorry, God Sammy, I'm sorry I never let you know."

I pulled him back into a hug, "I love you Daddy. I don't want you to die," I say.

"I know," he says rubbing my back.

"I'm supposed to be comforting you," I say softly.

"We are comforting each other," he says with a smile.

I hear Jack's voice, "Sam, you have to get out here. The battle is…" he stops. "What's wrong?" he says looking from one to the other of us.

"I have cancer, Jack," Jacob says.

"Shit, Jacob," he says, pulling me close into his side at the same time he puts an arm on Dad's back.

Sam's POV

Nasya October 1997

All this time fighting the Gou'ald and I never once thought what it would be like to have one inside of you. Sha're told me what it was like for her when her mother was taken when she was a little girl. But hearing that didn't make me picture this. It didn't prepare me for this. You'd expect a lot of pain when an alien overtakes your body. But I've had sore throats that were worse. Of course this makes sense. There connected to my brain, why would they want to cause that brain pain?

No it is just like one minute you are yourself, making your own decisions, and the next minute you are not. You are a prisoner in your own body watching your body.

"Carter you ok?" Kawalsky asks.

"I'm fine," I hear my voice answering. But it is not me.

"Who are you?" I scream at it. I don't know why I do it. What good will it do to know the monster's name? But it's not like it answers.

"Samantha, quiet, sweetie," her voice is like a whisper infecting every region of my brain.

"Sweetie! You stole my body, asshole!" I shout. Screaming as loud as I can, hoping my voice goes through her brain like hers does through mine.

"It doesn't work like that Samantha. You can't hurt me. Can you be quiet for a bit so I can find what I need?" I can almost feel the breath of her words on my brain.

"Hell no I'm not helping you," I scream, just in case she's lying.

"I'm just going to pretend to be you until the next time we get through the gate. Then I'll leave your body. Calm down. I won't hurt you. If you open up your mind to me I'll make sure to do nothing you wouldn't do."

"You stole my body," I say.

"It could not be avoided. We don't usually do that. I will release you for a willing host as soon as I am able."

"I don't believe you."

"It's ok, Samantha, I'm getting what I need from a propping of your mind."

Terror rips through me. She is silent, but I feel her prodding like a poker on a fiery log.

"No," I tell her, and for a long time I concentrate on nothing, but thinking of nothing. I hear her talking sometimes, but even this I try to block out.

Sam's POV

Colorado Springs October 1997

Suddenly I see Jack's face before the eyes which used to be mine.

"No," but already it's more of despair than a shout. She's weakened me.

"You love him," she states. Damn mind probing, no use hiding than. "I wouldn't hurt him. He's driving us home."

"Please don't go to my home. Please don't hurt my babies," I am pleading. Begging, and I'm not ashamed.

"I wouldn't hurt them. I am Jolinar of Malkshur. I am Tok'ra. I will not hurt you," she coos.

"I don't care who you are, Gou'ald," I say coolly.

"Not Gou'ald," she says with rage in her voice.

While we are having this internal dialogue the car ride ends. She enters the house with my feet.

"Mom," Charlie says with a nod. Davie gives my legs a squeeze. Cassie gives me a hug. She pulls away and her eyes are huge.

"Davie," she says with a smile, "Let's go play in my room." Her voice is almost normal. Normal enough that I'm hoping she fools this beast in my body. But not normal enough to fool her mother. She didn't invite Charlie, but he knows he's invited. They all walk away together.

"What has gotten into them?" Jack says.

"I don't know, I'll go check on them," she says with a sweet smile.

"Oh God Jack, don't let her alone with my babies," I think. But no matter how loudly I think he isn't going to hear me. I'm sobbing, because a monster is going after my children, and I can't stop her. I can't stop her, because I am her, and whatever she does I'll have to watch.

"Cassie sweetie, open up the door," this thing says.

"No, I won't open up for anyone but Dad," she says.

"Cassie, what is going on?" Charlie says.

"She's a Gou'ald," Cassie says.

"No way, she's MOM," Charlie says.

"Not anymore," Cassie says.

"What is going on?" Davie asks terror in his voice.

"Mommy isn't herself right now. You locked the door your secret way so she can't get in right Davie?" Cassie asks.

The monster is poking around in my brain trying to figure out how to unlock the door. I'm so glad Davie's a little trickster, and I honestly don't know.

"You can't tell anyone about this. If you do I'll kill you," she's saying. My God they just heard that come out of the mouth of their MOTHER.

I hear Davie crying, and Cassie trying to calm him down. The monster is getting angrier. She's not trying to unlock the door anymore. She's trying to remove it by its hinges. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain on the head that used to be mine. "Thank you, Jack," I think as I lose consciousness.

When I wake up I am relieved to see bars around me. I still feel her in my brain, but she will not hurt anyone in my body.

I see Jack's face. He's asking her questions. She's talking. I don't bother to focus on the conversation, I just look at him. Look at him look at me with hatred and fear. He saved them. Now he's terrified he'll lose me.

Suddenly the bastard is speaking with my voice, "Oh God, he's telling you the truth! Please, Jack!"

"No Jack, don't believe her, it isn't me." I think, "Please don't trust her."

Her voice continues in a mockery of mine, " No, Jack! Please, don't leave me, please! Give me a chance! Don't leave me like this! Please!"

And he's gone, and I'm alone. Trapped inside my body with a monster. She tries to talk to me, but I refuse to listen. Then she starts to do something else. It is like when she was probing my mind, except a push instead of a pull. That is all I know for a long time. Then I see Daniel's face, "I'm sorry, Sam," he says.

Then nothing more gets through the wall I put up until I hear her words reverberating like crystal, "Hear this. The days of the Goa'uld System Lords are numbered. Tell them that I died with hope. My death only feeds the fire that burns strong in the Tok'ra."

Then pain. Really gut wrenching, brain splitting, God awful pain. But she's shielding me from it. She's trying to protect me from it. She's growing week. "Sam…we can't both live," it's barely a whisper, "Take care of those kids, ok?" And with her death a burst of something. Of her I suppose. Memories (though she'd already buried many of those deep in my brain), thoughts, and something else-just her.

"Jolinar!" I ask, but there is no answer. She's gone.

My eyes open. Jack is leaning over me, "You did it Sam…You won."

Won? Is he kidding? I shake my head. Then remember I can use my voice again,"It wasn't me."

"Oh, yes it was. You hung in there, you beat it," he says stroking some hair from my face.

"The Goa'uld gave its life for me. It saved me," I can hardly believe the words even as I am saying them.

I don't want Jack to bring the kids here. Hell, I don't even want him to be here. I just want to lay here and be alone. I feel like I've just died. Besides that I was prisoner. And worse, I thought she was going to hurt my children in my own body.

"Mom," Charlie says. I don't move. I want Jack to take them away. I can't deal with anything right now. I feel Davie poke my arm, and I feel Jack pull his hand away. Cassie slowly turns me over. I let her. I don't have the will to fight anything right now. She looks right into my eyes. I'm looking into the eyes which not too long ago lost her entire family. Her entire world. She smiles at me, "You are going to be alright," and I know I am.


	8. Blended Family

A Blended Family

Ok, have to make a plug for my story Belonging. AKA the reason I've been so slow in updating (sorry! But at least this chapter is a long one). It's a partner story to this one. It exists in the same universe, and contains some of the same events. Only in that one I'm focusing on Daniel and Sha're's romance, with a lot of other characters thrown in. Read this story for the following:

-the game in which Daniel wins Sha're

-what was on the tablet Daniel was trying to win in the game

-how Ernest gets rescued much earlier

-what the "Meaning of Life" stuff says translated

-what happened to Sha're's mom

-Daniel's disastrous proposal to Sha're

-who Vala is with when she gets Broca virus

-how Daniel ends up in Vala's bed (becha it's not how you think)

-what Daniel and Sha're's kids are like

-who proclaims they love Janet during the Broca virus incident

-who McKay is dating

-and much much more!

And now back to our regularly scheduled programing

Jack's POV

Colorado Springs November 1997

My mother spent my childhood saying, "I hope one day you'll have a child just like you."

Thanks Mom.

But much as Davie is my own private purgatory, I wouldn't wish him different. Just like my mom never wished me different. Just punished. But I don't really consider Davie a punishment.

This is the fifth parent meeting since Davie started first grade two months ago. Oi!

He's out in the hall. I think that's where he spends most of his days. At first it was an empty hallway. Then someone requisitioned a spare desk for him. Now the thing has more stuff in it than his one in the classroom. At least half of it is stuff he probably shouldn't bring to school. He stole my yoyo.

I slide down on the floor beside his desk, "So what happened this time, son," I ask.

He looks at me with sadness, and his voice shakes, "I didn't think it was mean," he says softly.

"I know that Davie, you're not a bad kid," God was that true! "Just tell me what happened."

"Jimmy was doing his math wrong. You know how Mrs. Dean says you should ask questions so you don't practice it wrong?" I nod. "Well Jimmy was doing it wrong. I went over to help him, just to help him you know Dad? And Mrs. Dean says I was humiliating him. She said I should be doing my own work instead of everyone else's."

"Davie, that was it?" I ask. Better than a lot of times, but I can see by his squirms he isn't finished. "I may have argued with her a bit," he says looking down.

"Davie…" I say in a warning voice.

"Dad I didn't mean to, but she thought I was trying to embarrass Jimmy. That I was being cruel. I wasn't being cruel, I was trying to help him."

"I know that kid," I say. I also know that this incident no doubt came at the end of a long day of telling him to sit down and be quiet. Somehow he never considers telling others to stop talking to be talking. Even if the other talker was whispering all the way across the room, and he had to shout at him.

"Dad, what's wrong with me?" he asks looking me right in the eye.

I reach up to rub his hand, "Nothing, do you hear me? Nothing? You're fine. It's just…It's just your good brain, your good heart, your good energy…"

"Make a bad me," he murmurs.

"No David," I get up on my bad knees to look him in the eye, "No, but good David plus school equals big problems. Problems we're going to solve. We'll get this figured out," I say with a reassuring smile.

"Mr. O'Neill," Mrs. Dean says with a tired smile, "Will your wife be joining us?"

"Not today," I say. Sam's still recovering from Jolinar. It's been two weeks, but having your body taken over by an alien isn't exactly the kind of thing that goes away quickly. She's physically recovered, and she's emotionally well enough now to do most things. But Sam so doesn't need big problems right now.

We sit down and she gets a grim face, "Mr. O'Neill, you are familiar with Davie's behavior concerns," she says pulling out a thick file. I am familiar with it. I'm familiar with the time he locked, a sub out of the classroom, jamming the lock so well the no amount of janitors and keys could get in, and the locksmith was striking out before Davie finally opened the door. In his defense the sub had made fun of another student.

I'm familiar with the time he organized the building of a giant ball of tinfoil on hot ham and cheese day. Also with the incident with him losing a fight against a bully twice his size. There was the time he was cartwheeling down the hall and slammed into another student. Then there were the blurting of the answers, the talking, the bossing other students (and adults), and the not so helpful help he offered his peers.

"But now we are worried about his school work as well. On his last six assignments he hasn't gotten a single one right. In fact they are in gibberish," he says.

"No, Davie is smart," I say shaking my head. She smiles at me in way which plainly says all parents think that. "Can I see his work?" I ask.

She hands over an English assignment. Every blank is filled with 0 and 1's. The answers he's provided are way longer than the expected answer based on the blank. They are curling up the side of the paper.

I laugh.

"Mr. O'Neill, there is nothing funny about a child who has given up on school in the first grade," Mrs. Dean says.

"No there certainly isn't. This is in binary code, Mrs. Dean," I explain. She's looking at be blankly, "Computers, the language of computers." Now I'm wishing I had brought Sam. I've heard her explain binary code, but I didn't understand it all that well. "Uh…when you make computer programs you have to write them like this."

"So you are telling me Davie wrote a computer program on his worksheet?" she asks.

"No, I doubt it. Though my wife could be more sure. I'm thinking he just put the answers in binary. It's something that bored children do."

"I can assure you that Davie's problems are not all due to being bored," she says carefully, trying to be judicious.

"Of course not, but it seems to be an area we could help him out with. Do you think it would be possible to let him do more challenging things when he finishes his work?" I ask.

She stares at me in disbelief, "You want him to do more work?"

"We can even send it with him. Sam can whip him up something. Maybe we should talk about skipping a grade at the end of this year," I add. Poor Mrs. Dean looks like she's thinking the end of the year is a long way off. I hate that my child has that effect on people, "If he's busier maybe he'll get into trouble less." Then I sigh. I know I still have to say what Sam and I agreed I'd say at the meeting. "But you're right. This isn't going to solve all of Davie's problems. Sam and I have been talking about this. We hate the concept of brain altering drugs on a kid. On the other hand, this isn't working. We've decided to take Davie to the doctor to see about medicine. So we'll attack this on two fronts," I say.

"Yes, I'll get some gifted work," she stares at the paper, "computer code huh?" I nod. "You know Mr. O'Neill, your son really is a good kid. I can't help but like him."

That was good to hear. I figured Davie just drove her nuts.

"How did it go, Dad?" Davie asks as I enter the hallway.

"I got you more homework," I reply.

He stands there stunned until I'm past him, "Next time can Mom come?" he asks.

Poor Davie the perfect storm of genetics. Sam's brain, my body. Bless his soul and look out world.

Jack's POV

Colorado Springs November 1997

When we get home Sh'are and Sam are having coffee in the kitchen. Sha're is the kind of friend everyone needs. She's just there. Effortlessly, when you need her. Even though she's got a busy enough life of her own homeschooling her two children. Well, Aki isn't really old enough to be homeschooled I suppose. But he probably takes more of her time than his sister. Aki has autism.

"How did it go?" Sam asks, after the kids have run upstairs.

"The teacher needs your help checking his work," I say tossing the papers in front of her.

She picks them up and stares at them, "Jack…These are written in…"

"Binary code, Yeah I know," I finish.

"You knew what this is?" she asks obviously impressed.

"Sam, you may not be able to focus when my lovely form is within sight. But I can enjoy your beauty and listen to you at the same time," I tease.

She smacks my shoulder playfully.

"So clearly part of Davie's problem is boredom," she says.

"The other part is being expected to sit still," I add. I don't want her to have delusions on this being a quick fix.

"You know I could fix both of those problems," Sha're says, "Hess never gets board, and sometimes she paces and reads."

"Sha're," Sam says, "You are a sweetheart, but we're not going to dump our kid on you."

"Especially Davie. We like you Sha're," I joke.

She smiles, "I like Davie, and you're not asking, I'm offering."

"Are you serious?" Sam asks.

"Dead serious, I want to homeschool, your Davie," she says.

"You know that intelligence isn't Davie's only flaw right? I've never heard you say a bad word about him. So I have to ask if you know what you're getting yourself into," I ask.

"I know the kid. But we have a saying among my people, 'I curse my son and I hate who says amen.'"

"Ain't that the truth," I say laughing, "That is how Cassie and Charlie are too. They fight like cats and dogs, but at school they are a united front against the world."

"Too bad Davie, doesn't have a defender at school," Sam says mournfully.

Is she freaking nuts? Has she meet Davie? She thinks we need more Davies? Together we made the perfect storm of genetic disaster. Three kids is enough. There is a crash upstairs. Three is definitely enough. I roll my eyes upward and start heading upstairs. As I go I hear Sha're say, "My daughter could be his defender."

"Who is going to be ganging up on them there? You?"

"I am a hard ass," Sha're says.

Jack's POV

December 1997 Colorado Springs

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Jacob was supposed to have more time. Well ideally, he was not supposed to be sick, but at least he should had more time.

"Jack," he says with a smile.

"Jacob, Sam is…out of the country. She wouldn't have gone had she known…" I say. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like I should hold his hand or something, that seems like something you do to someone who is dying. But that is-not happening. The kids where here earlier, but Vala came and got them. Kids are not good with long hospital stays. Actually neither am I. I am after all where Davie got his fidgets from. But damned if I'm going to leave Jacob alone to die.

"She doesn't need to be here, Jack. My little girl grew up seeing Daddy go off to God knows where to fight God knows who, and I always came home alive and well. Now, I'm going to let her sit here and watch me lose a war? To some little runts so small I can't even see 'em?"

"You know when Sam told you to cut the crap," he nods, "That applies to me to, Jack."

He relaxes, and worry crosses his face. He's being real.

"Hammond is trying to recall Sam," I glance at my watch, "Actually she should be here anytime."

"You don't have to stay with me Jack, I'm a big boy," he says, closing his eyes.

"Sleep if you want, Dad, but I'm here for the duration," I inform him.

He laughs, which causes a cough, "You sound like you were drafted, Jack."

"Nope, I'm enlisted, you know that, Jacob," I say with a smile.

Jacob nods off, and I'm not far behind him. Suddenly Sam walks slowly, and motions me into the hall.

"How is he?" she whispers.

"Not good, Sam," I say, "What took you so long?"

This isn't the SGC, so she has to talk in code, "the friends we went to meet sort of insisted we stay." She means the Tok'ra. Some left over memory of Johlinar gave her an address she used in an attempt to contact them.

"They held you hostage?" I asked concerned.

"They still have my team, Jack, and SG-3" she says.

"We'll save them, Sam." I assure her.

"I know, Jack. The way we're going to do it is by saving my Dad," she says.

"What?" I'm totally confused.

"Our friends made us an offer…" she begins.

Then I get it. But I still have to hear her say it, or I'll never quite believe it, "You want to put a snake in your dad's head?" I whisper.

"We have clearance to tell him about the Stargate," she says.

"Because you want to put a snake in his head?" I ask.

She closes her eyes, "I don't want him to die."

I rub her back. "I know, Sam, We'll ask him. Just don't _ever_ ask to put a snake in my head."

We enter the room. Sam touches his knee.

Jacob smiles, "You made it back from mystery location huh Sam?"

"About that, Your security clearance has changed recently, Dad, have you ever heard of the Stargate program?" she says with a smile.

"That the name of you satellite?" he asks with a twinkle in his eye.

"I don't work with satellites, Dad, that was just a cover," She says with a smile.

"No kidding. I never would have guessed. So where were you?" he says.

"On another planet. I travel to other planets. Much farther away than any astronaut goes." Sam says.

"That is the worst cover story in the history of the air force," Jacob says.

"That's what I said," I say with a smirk.

"No way, you guys aren't serious?" he says looking from one to another.

"Yeah, we're serious Jacob, and we're asking you to join us," I say.

"You want me to go to outer space?" he laughs. It's not filled with coughing like it usually is, "And you tell me to cut the crap!" He looks back and forth between us, uncertainly, "You go to other planets. What, like in simulations?" he says uncertainly

"We discovered a piece of alien technology. It can send us to thousands of planets all over the galaxy," Sam says.

"Big circle with funky writing, spins around, blows spoke, makes glittery water you walk through to other worlds," I add.

"Glittery water, Jack?" Jacob laughs, "Other planets?" he says.

"We want you to come with us, because we think we can cure the cancer," Sam says.

"Holy Hannah!" Jacob exclaims. Oh, that is where she got that from!

"It does come with one hell of a price tag there Jacob," I say cautiously.

He sits up a bit, "How do they cure he cancer?"

"With a snake in your head," I say.

"Jack," Sam glares at me.

"Do not oversell this thing. Tell it like it is. Let him choose," I say.

"Ok, there are aliens out there…" Sam starts.

"Aliens!" Jacob exclaims.

"If you're going to be surprised at every part of this story, it's going to be a long one," I warn.

"Right, sorry," he says, but he mutters 'aliens' again under his breath anyway.

"So there are these evil aliens out there who are parasitic. They take over humans, control them, make them do what they want. Trap them in their own body. But they heal all disease."

"That sounds like a pretty serious side effect," Jacob says seriously.

"We're not suggesting you go to those aliens. We wouldn't put that offer on the table Jacob. But there are other aliens, who are…" I say knowing it will mean more from me.

"Biologically like them," Sam helps.

"But different. They don't take them over. They share a body. If you do this Jacob you are going to have two minds in there-forever. You are stuck with this alien. You get to live. Live for two hundred years. But you have to share your body. That's the Faustian bargain we're talking about here," I offer.

"What is it going to be like?" he asks. "I don't suppose you know."

"Actually Dad," Sam says.

"You have one of these aliens in your head?" he asks.

"N…no," she stammers, "Not anymore." Sam hasn't talked about her time with Johlinar. Lord knows I've tried to get her too. "I…wasn't willing when it happened to me. I didn't understand it. I thought, God I thought she was going to hurt my kids," Sam says. I'm standing behind her, and I just wrap my arms around her. I lean my head into her, my ear against her neck. Trying to give her comfort. "She didn't share her body with me. It wasn't a blending like you'd have. The Tok'ra-they bow their heads and switch who was in control. She just-had control. But she did talk to me. That was good-or it would have been if I'd understood it. Their voice is a sort of whispery tickle. There wise Dad, really wise. Thousands of years wise. And the one that's looking for a host is one of the oldest and wisest among them."

"Well, I like the sound of that," Jacob says with a laugh.

"Yeah, I'm left with a lot of her memories, still. It's…it's a lot sometimes. You should know that. But it's pretty amazing stuff," she says.

I move to the side, still holding her, but looking at her. I didn't know there were this many left over effects.

"Their feelings are your feelings, you love as one."

My blood runs cold. Love as one? Where the hell did that come from?

"And I get to live?" Jacob says.

"Yeah, they think so. The one that needs a host-she's really old. As long as it isn't too late, you get to live," she says softly.

"Then what the hell are we waiting for?" he says swinging his legs out of the bed.

"Take it easy, Dad," she says, and we move so there is one of us on each side of him.

It's been a long day. Things went bad on the To'kra planet as they always seem to. Jacob was half blended, and couldn't be moved. Then all hell broke loose. Sam, and I, and that damn Martouf (I'm guessing he's the 'love as one' from the way he leers at her) stand there and guard Jacob as he heals. We make it out of there just in time.

Jacob is alright. Successfully snake headed if there is such a thing. He won't be living in Colorado Springs any more (as he has been since he got sick). Going to miss the man. Hope he visits as much as he promised he would.

Like I said long day, I'm lying in bed with my eyes closed. Sam puts her arm around me, and I can't stand her touch. I shrug it off. She sits bolt upright. "Jack," she says softly.

I don't respond, I just turn away from her.

"Jack," her voice is almost in tears.

"You've had someone else's memories in your head for two months Sam, and you didn't think to mention it to me?" I say softly.

"You knew I had some of her memories. I knew how to get to their planet," she says softly.

"I knew you had some fragment. Some recurring dream with a gate address. I didn't know you had…everything," I say.

"I don't have everything, just bits and pieces of Johlinar. A lot more came back when I really saw the Tok'ra," she says.

"Love as one," I say, and even though I'm facing the wall I can see her fall apart. Even though she isn't touching me I can feel her tremor. And for the first time since I met Sam, I don't want to make her pain go away.

"Jack, it's some remint, some left over feeling, it isn't real. I never mistook it for the real thing," she says.

I finally turn to face her, "But you've been feeling it, feeling love for another man…for two months."

"No," she shake her head, "No, not until I saw him. I didn't even know Johlinar had anyone."

"Martouf?" I ask, and the name sounds venomous on my mouth.

She nods. I stand up and start walking away. The couch sounds pretty good tonight.

"Jack, Jack!" she calls after me. I don't answer, but like that matters. She catches my shoulder and spins me around, "I didn't ask for this. I don't want it. I'm ignoring it. It's leaving. It's just remnants of a feeling someone else had for a guy I just meet. I would do anything to make it go away. I didn't choose it."

And I know I'm acting like an ass. I know that, and it doesn't really matter. Because no matter how you slice it my wife is in love with another man. "I didn't choose to be jealous either. I wish it didn't bother me, but it does Sam. It really, really does. Give it time, ok?" I say more softly, and then my voice sounds pathetically pleadingly, "And don't go near Marty ok?"

She nods, giving me a soft kiss, "Jack, know that I love you more than anything. Nothing can ever change that," she taps her head, "No matter how they screw with me up here-I'm still going to love you more than anything. And I'm going to take the couch," I start to object, but she shakes her head, "no, Jack, I'm pretty sure it says in the marriage handbook somewhere that the one who is in love with someone else-even by alien influence-sleeps on the couch."

"I doubt the alien influence part is in the marriage handbook," I say.

She frowns, "Obviously you have an outdated version, being so OLD and all. You'll have to borrow my copy."

Jack's POV

February 1998 Colorado Springs

"Unauthorized incoming traveler!," Those words don't terrify my anymore. That's the thing about leading a really weird life. You can honest, to goodness get used to anything. Even people from other planets unexpectedly knocking on your door.

I hear the General and gate tech's talking, but I'm not really paying attention until the iris opens. Why would Hammond order the iris open?

"I did not give the order to open the iris, mister!" Shit! Now I'm worried.

"I did not open it, sir," The gate tech says. The iris slowly closes, and then starts to slip open. I start running down to the gate room. I may not have my P90, but I sure as hell am going to find some way to stop whatever alien is coming from getting through to this world.

I see fuzzy legs walk through. My heart stops. It's a little boy. He's maybe halfway between Davie and Charlie's ages. Not exactly the threat I'd been expecting. When Hammond orders him searched Sam does it. Since this whole Johlinar thing she gets all tingly around Gou'ald and Jaffa. Just another thing to add to my list of complains about that dead snake. It's a long list. But over half of it is just a repeating of the words, "damn Martolf." Sam is grinning as she looks this kid over. Have we found Charlie's defender?

"What's your name?" she asks him looking into his eyes.

But the boy looks past her right into my eyes, "Your name is Colonel O'Neill."

But you can call me Dad, I think. Aloud I say, "How'd you know that?"

"My mother told me," he says with confidence pointing to empty space. Before when I said you can get used to anything? Well, you never have a chance to get used to much at the SGC, because every time you get adjusted to one weird happening a new one is thrown your way. Kid commands iris, and has invisible mother.

"Your mother?" I ask.

"Yes. She says I am to speak only with you." The kid replies. Sam is finding this funny.

I bend down to his level, "It's ok. I trust these people. You can tell them anything that you would tell me. He shakes his head.

When the kid finally gets his private audience with me there are a whole lot of questions I want to ask him, but I decide to start with the basic, "What is your name?"

"I do not have a name." That's not good. Janet thought this kid was malnutrition. Maybe neglected. Hence imaginary mother. But what the hell kind of neglect results in the kid not even having a name? And who would do that to a kid? If I ever get my hands on him…

"What does your mom call you?" I ask. I'll play along with this game.

"Son," he replies.

"That isn't much of a name," I say sympathetically.

"No it's more of a description," he says.

Jeez, couldn't I have one kid dumber than me? "Yes, it is."

He tilts his head, "You have sons."

"Yeah, two sons, and a daughter," I say.

"The daughter wasn't always yours," he says.

"But from the moment she became ours, she is ours as much as the other two," I say seriously. He might as well understand that from the beginning.

He nods. "What are their names?" he asks.

"Charlie, Cassie, and Davie," I say.

"Charlie. I like Charlie. It's a good name. Can I be called Charlie?" He asks. Oh, that would get confusing fast.

"Actually that name is taken." I think for a bit, "If you like copied names how about Jonny?"

"Who is that copied from?" he asks.

"My real name is Jonathan," I explain.

He straights up his back proudly, "I'd be honored to take your name," he says with a chin thrust. That was probably stupid. "I'm Jonny," he says shaking my hand.

"Nice to meet you, where are you from?"

"A planet called Reetalia."

"Nice place?" I say trying to sound casual. What I'm really asking is did they feed you there? Give you hugs? Tell you they loved you?

"Used to be, until most of the Reetou were destroyed by mean creatures with glowing eyes." He says. I close my eyes. I'm hoping he missed the show. But that's not really the Gou'ald style. Cassie sure didn't miss that show.

"Well that's the Goa'uld. I'm sorry to hear that," I say wondering if he was well cared for before. How long he'd been not getting what he needed. His whole life, or just awhile? Was it only because they didn't have it? Or because the ass holes didn't give it to him?

"That's why I'm here…to warn you," he continues.

"Well, thank you, Jonny, but we already knew about the Goa'uld."

"Not the Goa'uld. It's the Reetou rebels who intend to eliminate you." He says. Great, just what we needed. One more enemy.

We're beginning to piece together this Reetou story. But I feel like we're missing a lot of pieces. Sam has been trying to figure out how Jonny got through the gate. I really need to talk to her. It's not about the gate. It's about the possibility of kid number four. We've never talked about kid number four. But I want Jonny.

Teal'c is coming in here to look after the kid while I go see if I can start promising the kid a home when this is all over. As soon as Teal'c comes into the room Jonny starts screaming at the top of his lungs, "Jaffa!" Great, this kid has obviously seen some of his planet's destruction. Fear like that doesn't come from stories.

I gather him up in my arms. "It's ok, Jonny. He's a good Jaffa. In fact, he saved my life one time. He hates the Goa'uld as much as you do." Jonny isn't calming down. "Oh, for cryin' out loud…" I suppose it's time to start talking to the traumatized kids delusions.

"Um, look, Mom. You said you trust me, right? Well, I'm telling you, Teal'c is okay. In fact, all my friends here at the base are okay. Okay?" I say rubbing his back.

Jonny is giving me this look. "She's over there," he points, "She says I can trust the members of your team."

Sam isn't on my team. Can he trust his new mother? Will he want a new mother? Or will he cling to the one who isn't real. The one who can't take care of him?

"Jonny, Teal'c is going to watch you for a little bit. I'm going to be back soon," I say with a smile.

Teal'c comes near and bows before Charlie. All of a sudden he gets a seriously weird look on his face. Teal'c is fleeing the room. Jaffa don't take retreat lightly, Teal'c certainly doesn't.

I go out in the hallway "You alright?" I ask.

"My symbiote became agitated when I entered the room," he replies.

"Any idea why?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "I can tell you only this, O'Neill. In all of my years I have never experienced a symbiote so disturbed. There is something unusual about this child, O'Neill. I advise you to use extreme precaution in his handling."

I know I should be holding his kid at arms length. Cassie should have taught us that. I could have lost Sam with that one. As much as she claims she knew that Cassie wasn't going to blow…I'm not sure I'm buying it. "I was planning on it," I say softly.

Teal'c knows me too well to be buying that I'm being all cautious and detached. He knows I'm head over heels in love with the kid. I can tell by the 'brow. "You have seen it yourself. In the hands of the Goa'uld, a child is nothing more than a potent weapon."

He's still talking as Fraiser walks up. I can tell by her face that this is going to be another one of those, oh crap moments. Maybe the kid really does have some sort of explosive hidden away on him somewhere.

"l didn't find any apparent threat to us," she says. I'd like to be relieved, but I sense a 'but', and knowing this place it's probably a pretty big 'but', "but he's in worse shape than I thought, the poor kid. Several of his major organs have congenital defects."

"Oh, God," I mutter. That sounds bad. Really bad.

"It's like mother nature put him together in a hurry and got everything just a little wrong. His heart valves are defective, his renal function is a mess, and I have serious questions about his lungs. I'm afraid without some very aggressive medical intervention, he won't live to be much older than he is," she says not looking me in the eye. She also knows that I'm attached to this kid.

"But you can fix him right?" I ask.

There is a pause, a long pause, "Maybe. But he may be beyond anything our medicine can do. There's something else," she points to one of the medical pictures I don't understand, "His CAT scan. Now, if you look along the lower part of the brain stem, this is the part where normal humans have what is called the reticular formation. It's the part of the brain that determines alertness, our perception of things. His is twice the size of ours. And that could explain why he knew you had kids. It may also explain why he had such an effect on Teal'c's symbiote."

"So mind reading super powers?" I ask.

"I don't know. I'm a skeptic on such things, but…" she said.

"It would explain a lot. Well, since Teal'c can't be in the same room with the kid, could you watch him for me?" I ask. She gives me a strange look. Right, I don't exactly have a right to be asking people to watch him FOR me. In fact, since he's in her infirmary she was probably under the impression he was under her care. Ok, so he probably is technically under her care. But a kid shouldn't be left in an infirmary, without an adult to…I don't know descarry the place. Yeah, and I sent a Jaffa for that job! Do'h!

"Yeah, I'll take care of him," she says.

"K," I say.

"Say hi to Sam for me," she says with a grin.

"Hey," I say to Sam.

"Jack," she says a bunch of technobabble, but she notices I'm not listening, "Let's go to your office, it's closer," she says with a smile.

"I have an office?" I say.

"I thought you'd given up the dumb act," she said.

"I'm facing the possibility of having four children smarter than me. I'm not playing dumb," I say.

She gives me a look, "That's how you're going to start the conversation, Jack? With an assumption. You're just assuming I'm willing to adopt every spare child in the universe?"

"Not EVERY one," I say, "Just two."

"Until we run into our next orphan," she says with a roll of her eyes.

"So you're not too keen on the idea of us keeping Jonny?" I ask. I'd forgotten she'd never heard the kids name. She's laughing.

"What's so funny?" I ask defensively.

"Seriously? I leave you with him for half an hour, and you name him after yourself?" she's still laughing.

"It's a good name," I object.

"So good you go by a nickname, Jonathan O'Neil," she says giggling as I flinch at my full name.

"Hey, Jonny is a nickname too, and it goes with the "y" theme we've got going," I say.

She shakes her head, "Conceited man, just had to have someone carry on the name…"

"Maybe he'll be willing to change his name to Sammy," I offer earning myself a glare. Then I get serious, "We never really talked about kid number four…" I begin.

"Yes, Jack you can keep him. But you need to start limiting the number of stay children you bring home, ok?" she says kissing me on the cheek.

"Hey the last one was totally your fault," I protest.

"Right," she says rolling her eyes.

"Sam," I grow serious, "Jonny has some medical problems. Some, uh, pretty serious medical problems."

"What?" she says all the light going out of her eyes.

"Um…I don't remember exactly. The words 'organ failure' were in there though."

She makes this horrible face, and I run my hand over her back, even though she really doesn't like us to touch at the SGC.

"Does this change your answer?" I ask.

"God no," she says. "Let's go see…my son."

We are at the doors of the infirmary, and Daniel comes out.

"Hey guys," he says with a smile.

"We're going to adopt Jonny," Sam says with a grin.

"Yeah, I figured that was probably the plan, since he was walking around with Jack's name," Daniel says with a grin and a shake of the head, "But uh you guys should know…Mom's real."

"Real as in…?" I ask.

"As in a member of a species we can't see," he says.

I glance at Sam, "Theoretically it is possible, yes. I mean, according to quantum physics, matter exists both in particles and waves. lf the Reetou waves are exactly 180 degrees out of phase with ours right down to the sub-atomic level, then their light and sound waves would be undetectable by us."

He's got a mother. A mother who didn't name him. Didn't feed him. I wonder how hard it is to strangle an invisible creature. Do Reetou have necks? But maybe Janet was wrong about the malnourished thing. Maybe it was just, because he was sick. And he loves this thing…whatever it is.

Daniel looks at me, "They built Jonny…They uh…messed up. They wanted him to be fully grown, but," he puts his hand on Sam's arm. "Something went wrong, they figured out he…he…wouldn't live to be grown up."

"But he will now," I say, "Janet is going to fix him." Daniel shakes his head, "Jonny is going to be fine." I say pushing past him into the infirmary.

I smile as Jacob walks through the event horizon. I've missed the guy.

"Hey, Jack how are you? The family?" he asks with a wide smile.

"Great, might be getting a little bigger," I say.

"Sammy is pregnant?" he asks with a wide grin.

"No…actually we're thinking of adopting a little boy…uh…there is a complicated back story here. I need to ask Selmak what he knows about the Reetou."

"So you tell me I might be getting another grandkid, and then ask for me to switch control of my body over to an alien?"

I sigh, "Yeah, well we're about to be attacked by invisible aliens. Then Jonny is really sick. So if we should get down to business, save the world, then the boy. Then you can be proud Grandpa.'

Selmak's voice takes over "Tok'ra kree. Tak lan onobi lon" he says to a fellow Tok'ra who starts talking to a gate technician, "take me to this Reetou."

"Let me go in first," I say not wanting a repeat of the whole Teal'c thing. Not with someone who might be his grandfather. "How are you feeling Jonny?" I ask.

"Tired," he says with that sick little smile he has.

"I want you to meet someone. I don't want you to be scared. He's a good guy. He will feel like a Gou'ald, but he isn't. He's a Tok'ra. He's actually Sam's Dad."

I motion Jacob in, but he doesn't stay long. His reaction is even stronger than Teal'c's. So much for Grandpa/Grandson bounding right now.

Jacob takes this weird gun his buddy just fetched and shines it around the room. It illuminates a horrible creature. I'm trying not to show my horror, because she's the mother of my son. God my life is complicated. She's huge, many legged, bug like and strange looking. She short of flits in and out, so I don't have a better description of her.

"Please don't hurt her," Jonny says putting his body between Jacob and his mother.

"We're not going to hurt her," I say getting between the gun and the boy, "I owe you an apology. I didn't really think mother was real."

"I know that Jack," Jonny says sadly, "But I wouldn't lie to you." I want to hear a "dad" at the end of the sentence. I want to hold him. God I want to feed the kid. He's so small, so week.

I come back from the strategy meeting, and Jonny is trying to hide his tears.

"Mother says not to cry." Oh, and I thought that whole "big boys don't cry thing," was an idiocy only on the planet earth.

"Crying's okay," I say.

He looks over to his mother that I can't see, "She says the boys of your culture do not cry."

I sit down on the end of his bed, putting my arm around him, "Not true. In fact, there's an official list of reasons for which crying is…a good thing."

"Mother is leaving."

I was wondering. Wondering if this not-so-imaginary mother wanted to keep him. There wasn't a chance in hell. You don't name a kid. You don't get to keep him. Simple as that. Kids need names, love, humans. I start fishing for information, "Now see, that's a good reason. 'Mom leaving', I believe, is number six on the list of good reasons. Actually six is 'Mom says she's leaving in a couple of days'. Five is 'Mom leaving immediately'. Four, of course, is 'Mom already left'. Now, three…three is huge. One of the bigger ones on the list."

"She's still here. She's leaving as soon as she has told you everything that can help," he says glancing once more in her direction.

I'm relieved, but I'm worried she wants to take this kid with her. Not a chance in hell. "She's not taking you with her?"

"She wants to leave me here with my own kind," he doesn't sound too happy about it. We'll have to go slow with this whole making him a part of my family thing.

"Well, for what it's worth, I think she's right. I think you should stay here. You'd be better off," I say softly.

"I think I belong with you, Jack," he says. Never mind about the whole going slow thing.

"You know Jonny, Sam and I feel the exact same way," I say giving him a smile.

"Your daughter…she wasn't your daughter once, but you made her your daughter?" he asks.

I smile, "That's true," I say.

"Do you think I could be your son?" he asks. There's fear in his eyes.

"Are you sure you want me?" I tease.

"You'd be great. I can tell," he says eagerly.

"Maybe you should get recommendations from my kids first. They might tell you to shop around," I say.

"Nope," he says.

"Ok , then. We'll see what we can do about making me your father…Sam your mom."

Well, that was an interesting experience. There are a lot more Reetou out there than we ever thought there were. We brought some home. We killed the ones that were on our base. Almost killed Jonny's mom by mistake. Just the trauma that kid needs. His Mom is gone now, healthy and back through the gate, and Jacob went and saw Jonny for real. Without Mom keeping him at a distance. Suddenly Jonny passes out. I can tell by the way Frasier is looking at him that this is not good news. Then again a kid passing out is never good news.

"His pulse is very weak. I may be able to stabilize him for now, but, you have to remember, sir, he has two major organs about to fail," she says softly.

"Oh, come on. He's just a kid. You've got all this fancy equipment around here…" I protest.

"Colonel, I'm sorry, but I don't think so," she says looking away from both me and the small boy. This has got to be hard for her.

"Let us take him. He will be in good hands," Jacob says. I'm glad it's not Selmack, but still…

"You're going to put a snake in his head, Dad?" I ask, "Isn't he a little young for that?"

"He is young, but the Tok'ra symbiote that we introduce to his mind can teach him. He will grow up with the advantages that great wisdom brings."

He look at the wall for a little bit, "Is that the only way he gets to grow-up?" I ask. He's supposed to be my son. He's supposed to be with me. I'm supposed to take care of him.

"Jack, there is a healing device we could try. But if it doesn't work…"

"Snake him, that kid gets a future," I say staring at his too still form.

Jacob places a hand on my shoulder, "I'll try to bring him back to you Jack. But either way I'll take care of…my Grandson."


	9. Political Astronomy

Sam's POV

February 1998 Colorado Springs

"Sam," Jonny says looking up at me, "You don't have to stay."

"Sweetie, my Dad's going to try to heal you, I'm going to stay." Jack would be here too, but he's at home with our other children. This healing Jonny mission is going to take a couple days. Too long to leave them with the nanny. Jonny smiles at me, "You can call me mom if you want," a really sad look crosses his face, "You don't have to," I rush on. "I mean I know you had a mother. A Reetou mother. I'm not trying to take her place," but I am. Because she isn't his species, and she can't be there for him, and she could never hug him-not with that jointy exoskeleton.

"It's not that. Mom had to leave. I understand that. But you have to leave too, and I don't want to lose two mothers," he says.

"Honey, I'm not leaving," I say kissing him, "We don't know if you can get better without being made into a Tok'ra. If you can you will be coming home with us. If you can't…If you can't you'll have to live with the Tok'ra. But you can come visit us a lot. And my Dad will take care of you. Kids live with their Grandpas right? You'll get to see us all the time," I say.

"It's ok Sam," he says with his weak little smile, "I know you'd let me be your son if you could. But since I can't be your son, I'd rather not be called your son."

I don't have anything to say to that. "Jonny, you didn't finish your food." I offer.

"I'm not really hungry," he says.

"You have to eat," he says.

"You are as bad as Jack," he protests. "Didn't Dr. Janet tell you I'm not malnourished, just sick?"

"You still have to eat," I say I stay trying to coax some jello into him. How could a kid say no to jello?

"You humans have interesting ways of displaying affection," he comments. Jeez are we sure this kid isn't Teal'c's?

"Hey buddy," Dad says coming into the room. He's got a healing device dangling from his hand causually.

"Hello Jacob," Jonny says, and no matter how brave this kid is pretending to be he's terrified. I squeeze his hand. He gives me a 'I'm too old for that' look. So I say, "I'm a little nervous, you don't mind do you?"

He grins at me. He knows I'm faking. He likes that I'm faking.

"Is this going to hurt?" Jonny asks nervously.

"No," Dad says. He starts the healing device. Slowly, slowly, he works his way over the whole body. I've seen Dad heal people before. This is taking a lot longer than any of those other healings took. I catch Dad's eye. Crap.

"Am I fixed?" Jonny asks.

"Jonny…" Dad starts.

"It's ok, Jacob," Jonny says, but his voice is sad.

"Sam, can I see you out in the tunnel?" Dad asks. I can't believe Dad just referred to the hallways as a tunnel. I still can't adjust to him getting more alien every day.

"What Dad?" I ask when we've walked far enough away that our voice is not going to drift through the door less openings the Tok'ra have.

"The healing was partly successful," he says, "I don't think he's going to die. At least not with Janet on his tail, and with occasional help from the healing device. But if he doesn't become a host…he's never going to be strong or healthy."

Damn these smooth Tok'ra tunnels nothing to look at when you're trying to avoid looking at someone. "You think I'm that selfish Dad?" I say softly.

"I think it's a complicated choice," he said.

"Health or family," I say with a sniff.

"What am I, Sam, chopped liver?" he says.

"No, Dad, but I mean, I can't ask you to raise another kid. We choose him, you didn't," I said.

"Sammy I remember how hard it was to trust someone with you for a little while. I can't imagine forever. And I know I wasn't always the best Dad when you were growing up," he says.

"Dad, you were a great Dad. This isn't about that," I say.

"Sam, it has to be your choice, but I promise you if he stays here I'll take care of him. Better than I did with you are Mark," he says.

"Dad, you were a good dad. A little pushy, but you were good, and you loved us. But…you're going to bring him to earth a lot right?"

"A lot, Sammy," he agrees.

"Take care of him, Daddy," I say giving him a hug which leaves his ridiculous Tok'ra robe (which he admitted to me he actually likes wearing) a little bit wetter.

"Jack and I decided on a middle name," I said.

"Tok'ra don't have those," Dad says. I shoot him a dirty look before he amends, "But Jonathan O'Neill's do."

"That's good 'cause we were thinking Jacob," I say.

His face gets mushy. Mushier than the stoic General would want it to be. So I lighten the mood, "Figured he's already named after a pain in the butt military officer, so being named after two wouldn't hurt him."

"Yeah, you know what they say about girls going for people that are like their Dad's."

"Eww gross, Dad, Jack is nothing like you!" I say.

"He's almost my age for one," Dad says with a grin, "And you have to admit some basic personality similarities."

"Actually we're going with Teal'c for the middle name," I say stubbornly.

"Ok, ok," he says flinging up his hands in surrender, "I was just kidding jeesh!'

-0-

Sam's POV

February 1998 Colorado Springs

"I think we should each pick a star," Dave says thoughtfully staring up at the night sky. It's family stargazing night aka Thursday. It occurs to me I'm probably insane for allowing Davie on to the roof. I wouldn't let it happen until Jack added a handrail around it. Still I did once catch Davie trying to do a cherry drop off porch rail at the cabin, so handrails probably wouldn't have helped. He makes me really nervous when he fidgets on the roof.

"Cassie should have a star from Cassiopeia," Charlie says laying still with his hands resting behind his head.

"That's true," Jack says with a smirk, "but for a whole different reason than you think."

I smirk at him. Sometimes my kids buy the "dumb daddy" act. Actually a lot of people buy the whole "dumb Jack" act. I never did. I might stem from the fact that he was first of all my teacher. But I think I would have seen it anyway.

"Cassie, do you know what planet you're from?" I ask.

"Hanka," Cassie responds as if we're stupid.

"And what star does that rotate around?" I ask her playfully.

She shrugs. Charlie leans forward on his elbows finding this conversation more interesting than the stars.

"You know how Cassiopeia is supposed to be a chair?" Jack asks. She nods. "Well Hanka rotates around the star that is right where queen Cassiopeia would place her bum."

"Dad," Charlie says laying back down.

"Yeah bud?" Jack says.

"You just totally ruined what has to be one of the coolest coincidences ever," Charlie said.

"I could have called it something besides bum," Jack mutters.

"What would that be?" Davie asks. Drat that boy's hearing.

"Six," I reply, "You know like watching your six, as in six'clock."

"Oh," Davie replies.

"Could of said bottom," Charlie offers.

"Rump," Jack says.

"Tush," I add.

"Seat," Davie says giggling. He's right at that age where euphuisms for a butt are funny.

"How about we do this alphabetically, Dad you can start with a," Cassie says with a smirk. She is right at the age where swear words are funny.

"Charlie , what can you tell me about your sister's friends?" Jack asks.

"Why?" Charlie asks.

"I'm want to know who to blame for the comment that just came out of her mouth," he replies.

"I'm thinking you'll need a mirror for that one, Dad," Charlie replies.

"Hey, Davie come here," Jack says pulling him close.

"Why?" Davie asks suspiciously. He knows it's because he's too close to the edge, so I don't know why he bothered to ask, but Jack has an answer all ready for him.

"Because you're my only child without a smart mouth," Jack replies.

"Give it time," I say.

"Oi!"

"Where is Jonny right now?" Cassie asks suddenly. She startles us for a minute, "I mean, if you can see where I grew up, can we see where Jonny and Grandpa are right now?"

Jack turns to me, "Where are the snake heads hiding these days. A sandy planet as usual, but what arm of our galaxy?"

"You can't see it from here," I say softly.

"That's a long way," Davie says in awe. Jack reaches his arm around Davie's head to take my hand.

"See that don't really matter, 'cause we've got this cool thing called a Stargate…" he begins.

"And you wonder why you children are smarta..lecks," I say.

"And YOU wonder where they learned that word," he retorts.

"Alecks? That's not a bad word Dad, they say it on the Disney channel," Davie says. Both Cassie and Charlie are cracking up and Davie is a little indignant.

"Where is Teal'c from?" Charlie asks.

"Good question kid, Chulack is easy to pick out, because of the two suns," Jack begins.

"You can't differentiate the two suns from this far away," I protest.

"No, but it does look like a big star, especially through the telescope," Jack says.

It occurs to me that on our rooftop we're forging a new field of study-political astronomy.

-0-

Sam's POV

April 1998 Colorado Springs

Cassie has been acting weird for a couple of days. She's glaring at her oatmeal.

"We didn't have this on Hanka," she says pushing it away.

"It's good for you," Jack says curtly without even looking at her. He's actually in a mood lately too. It's the week of the anniversary of Sarah's death. So at least his mood I understand. He takes anniversaries better than I do. I now have two days a year where I hole up and shut off from everyone (but Jack who holds me)-the day Mom died, and the day Gran died.

"Forget it!" Cassie shouts and storms out of the room.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Jack says.

I want to scold him for the swear word, but that would only make Davie more likely to repeat it.

"I don't know, but it's about time someone solved this mystery," I say standing up.

"Mom," I hear Charlie's voice in the hall.

I turn toward him, "Yeah."

"I think I know what's wrong with Cassie. She made me promise not to tell you. But, you guys always said there were times to break those promises, and this might count," he pauses, "It might not, and then she'll be mad at me, but I'll risk it. Actually I kind of need to tell you guys anyway."

I'm terrified, because secrets worth breaking a promise for are usually pretty big, and Cassie is fourteen. Fourteen year old's secrets could be bad. "Ok, so what secret do we have?" I ask.

"We've got a class project," ok can you say relief? "We're supposed to write an autobiography. The first chapter is due Monday," he pauses, "It's on family history."

"Oh," my lips form the word that my voice doesn't quite.

"Cassie's isn't exactly non-fiction," he says.

"Right-Toronto," I say.

He nods, and I head toward her room. "Mom-wait," his face is conflicted, "I hate to ask. I mean, you know I think of you as my Mom right?"

"Your family history section has a hole, huh?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says. Oh, couldn't this have happened any other week?

"I know you didn't know her. I mean I should ask Dad, but…" he starts.

"Charlie, your dad has talked to you about your Mom right?" I ask.

"No," he says.

"Never?" I ask in shock. I mean I know that Jack doesn't often talk about his feelings. But he does with me, and I figured he did with his kids.

"So you don't know anything about Sarah?" I ask concerned. Why had it taken him so long to ask?

"I know her name, that she died when I was a baby, and a few stories Grandpa Mike told me from when she was little."

I close my eyes for a second, I can't believe that's it, "Charlie, your Dad has this 'Sarah' box in his closet. I'll talk to him about going through it with you. I'd tell you more if I knew it myself," I say.

I start to walk back to the kitchen, but Charlie's voice stops me, "How did she die?"

I turn and hug him. I seriously can't believe no one has told him. I feel like a neglectful mother. "A car accident," I say.

He bites his lip, "Ok," he says, but that's not what he's really saying. He wants more, and I can't trust Jack to give it to him.

"You were three months old. Your dad…well back then he was in black ops. Do you remember when I did black ops?"

"Mom, I was nine," he says rolling his eyes.

"Right, so I was gone all the time right? Well, your dad was too when you were little. And he got home from a mission. A mission that went bad, and he was…It was really tough on him. Your mom asked him to go out for diapers, but he…he asked her to go instead. He stayed home with you, and she went out," I take a big breath, "A drunk driver hit her car, Charlie," and he's running into his room sobbing.

"Whoa, hey," I say finding him face down on his bead. I start rubbing his back. I say, "What's wrong?" It's actually a pretty stupid question considering the fact that he just heard about his mom's death for the first time. But I'm actually kind of confused WHAT exactly he's reacting to.

"Now I know why Dad never talks about her," he sobs. Really kid, because I'm clueless. "It's my fault she's dead." Oh God, there are so many things I want my kids to get from their father. Courage, strength, quirky humor, that amazing protective instinct toward anything they deem 'good'. I could do without them inheriting his strangely overdeveloped sense of guilt.

"Not even close, Charlie."

"If I hadn't existed, she wouldn't have needed diapers, and she'd still be alive."

"Charlie, not your fault. If you didn't exist she might have needed milk or bread or tacos. Listen to me. Your dad has felt guilty about your mother's death since it happened. He tortures himself with what ifs. What if he had gone instead of her, what if he hadn't gone on a mission, what if, what if, what if. He's been asking what ifs for fourteen years, and you know what? Hasn't brought you Mom back. Hasn't made him feel better. Certainly hasn't made it easier for you. What ifs don't do any good, and you had nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing, to do with your mom's death."

He's quiet.

"Listen, this is a conversation you should be having with someone who knew her. Someone who loved her. I'm going to go get your Dad, ok?"

"Yeah, and thank you, Mom," he says grabbing my hand. I pause in getting up.

"Charlie, I may not be your mother, but you know I love you more than anything right?" I ask swiping hair from his eyes. He needs a haircut I think to myself absently.

"I know, MOM," he says accent the word with a smile, "that came out in the part of the paper I've got written so far."

I plant a kiss on his forehead, and he doesn't wipe it away like he usually does. What higher compliment can I ask for?

-0-

"Jack?" I say returning to the kitchen. I'm glad Davie's gone to play while Jack is still finishing off his coffee. He'll need that fortification.

"You figure out what's going on?" he asks.

"You're not going to like it," I say. Then I take a deep breath and continue, "They have a family history project due. Cassie's freaking out, because she can't actually tell the truth. And Charlie…he needs to know about Sarah. I know this is so not the time," I say at his flinch, "but Jack seriously? You never talked to the kid about his mom?"

His face goes dark. I stand behind him and start massaging his shoulders. I know it's easier for him to share when he's not actually looking at me.

"I've been working hard and not blaming myself," he says. I wait for more, but apparently he thinks that's and adequate description.

"And…" I prompt.

"It will be a lot harder if my son is blaming me," he says.

I stop the massage, and lower myself onto Jack's lap. I put my forehead against his. "You pig headed O'Neill men!"

"What?" he says.

"Your son is up there blaming his need for diapers on his mom's death, and you're down here blaming yourself."

"Charlie thinks it's his fault?" Jack says concern in his voice.

"Told him it wasn't. But it would probably be a good idea if his father got up there and reinforced the message. Preferably with the Sarah box," I standing up and pretending to drag Jack to his feet.

He walks as far as the door way before he turns around and says, "Cassie…"

"Yeah, I'll go talk to her," I say. It's been way to long since she stomped away from the breakfast table. But what can you say? Today is the day of emotional crisis.

-0-

I knock on the door to Cassie's room. She's sitting at the kid's computer. When we finally invested in the second one (the kids complaining I always on our main one) we let the kids flip a coin to see whose room it went in. Cassie won.

"Canadian history huh?" I ask looking over her shoulder.

"It's for a report for school," she says the anger out of her voice, "I'm sorry about breakfast.

"It's ok Cass," I say, "So this school report…"

She closes the internet on her computer and falls back on her bed, "So Charlie told you huh?" she asks.

"Cassie, you should have told us. We could help you. Or ask your teacher to excuse you. Or…I don't know…talked about it at least," I say.

She sits up and looks at me with sadness in her eyes, "I tried to write the truth, or you know mostly the truth. But by the time you've transformed our traditional Hankan festival of fall into a story about a Canadian Christmas there is nothing real left. When you transform our tiply breakfasts into pancake breakfasts you lose the whole story. And I can't use their names. My parents do not have names that could pass for Canadian. I just feel like all this lying. I'm losing a part of myself in it. It's not just this project, it's…everything."

"I know sweetie. But with our family you never have to lie. Right? I know your parent's names. Might not be able to pronounce them right," she smiles, "But I know them. And we did the festival of fall thing. I mean we probably didn't do it like back home, but we tried right? And if you know what is in tiply we can try to make it. I know you've got to be hungry. And after that we can tackle this project. Or I can write you a note getting you out of it. Maybe they'll accept one of your fiction stories instead," I am teasing her with the last part, because she doesn't admit to anyone she writes stories for fun, and she certainly wouldn't want her teachers seeing them.

"You say their names right, and don't pretend I don't know you got private lessons from Uncle Daniel. You did fine with the festival, and I really don't think you have the ingredients for tiply. At least two of them are probably extinct." She slides over next to me on the bed, and I put my arm around her, "I guess what bothers me most is that I'm it. I'm all that is left of Hanka and I have to pretend away all things Hankan. I feel like all those dead people just have me left to carry on their legacy, and I'm not doing that."

"Ok, babe, let's really give a tiply a try we'll work with what we've got. You didn't have any breakfast this morning. Then you and I will write something that will both honor you parents and not revel classified information. Then maybe we'll write something up about the culture of your planet, so someday, when the Stargate is reveled you can tell this world about your world."

"You really think someday I'll be able to tell people?" he says.

"Yeah, and Uncle Danny will be standing in line with all those papers he's been aching to publish since he was eight," I say with a smile.

"You've got some too don't you?" she says with a smile.

"A few," I say kissing her forehead.

"Tiply tastes like cookies," she offers with a sly look.

"Nice try," I laugh.

-0-

It's an hour later. Tiply substitute has been made and consumed, and we've got a start on Cassie's school paper. I figured Jack and Charlie would be back down by now, and I'm starting to worry. "I'm gonna go check on them," I say. Cassie nods.

I open the door without a sound and neither notices my presence. Charlie is sitting on his bed with a mostly empty box on one side of him, and a jumble of pictures, notes, and trinkets on the other side of him. He draws out a necklace and passes it down to Jack who fingers it carefully. "I gave this to your Mom on our first anniversary. It's a locket. It used to have a picture of me in it, but as soon as you came along you crowded me out. She actually found someone to miniaturize an ultrasound picture," he says with a smile, "She couldn't wait for you to be born." Then he laughs, "Really, you were two weeks overdue mister." I hide my giggle as I shut the door. Oh, they are going to be fine.

-0-

Sam's POV

July 1998 Colorado Springs

"No to addere a negative number is like subtracting," Jack says calmly.

"Addere?" Charlie asks looking at his dad with confusion on his face.

"Yeah, to addere a negative you subtract," Jack continues looking like he's getting a little annoyed.

"Jack, could you please help him with his homework without torturing him?" I say.

"I'm just telling how to addere the numbers!" he exclaims, and he's strangely in earnest.

"What language are you speaking, Jack?" I ask.

"English, you radix!" he exclaims.

"Radix, Jack, what are you talking about?" I say still not sure if this is a joke or a problem.

"I didn't say radix, I said radix," he says.

"Calling Daniel," I say.

-0-

"The language he's speaking has similar sounds to Medieval Latin but it's still quite different," Daniel says.

"So Jack's in the infirmary? Is he going to be ok? You said he started speaking this language after he got his head caught in, in what exactly?" I ask.

"Kind of hard to explain, a circle came out of the wall. Grabbed him, held him there for a little bit. He passed out. Then he came too, and we thought he was fine. After your call we sent him to the infirmary, but before he picked up a chalk and did this in about thirty seconds flat."

He shows me a blackboard that is full of math. But no earth math I can understand. Definitely not the kind of thing my husband would understand.

"Do you know what it means?"

"No. I mean, even the simple equations don't make any sense. No, this is like no math I've ever seen," I say slowly.

Daniel looks at me for a long moment, "What?" I ask.

"Are you doing ok?" he asks.

"Let's go talk to Frasier," I respond. But I'm thinking no you idiot my husband's brain has obviously been hacked by something. No, I am not doing ok.

-0-

"Janet," I say with a smile.

"Honey," she says with sympathy I so don't want to have to deal with right now. Sympathy is a burden just like panic and grief.

"What do we know, Dr. Frasier?" I say in a tone which makes her led me to her office and get businesslike.

"A normal human brain operates at 5-10% of its functional capacity at any given time. Colonel O'Neill's brain is working at over 90% capacity," she says.

"How is that possible, and what does it mean?" I ask.

"I have no idea," she says.

"Where is Colonel O'Neill?" Teal'c says. He looks a little apologetic as he sees I'm talking to the doctor, but he's not as bad as the rest of them have been.

"Well, he should be in the infirmary," Janet says.

"He's not," Teal'c says.

-0-

"Jack," I say. I'm so worried about him I want to wrap my arms around him from behind and give him a huge hug. But we are at work, and the rules prohibit that. "Whacha doing?" I ask. It's obvious that he's taking apart a staff weapon. Last time I checked he wasn't qualified to take apart a staff weapon. But with his new abilities who knows. The thing I'm concerned about is that I can't think of a single reason why you'd want to take apart a staff weapon.

"I need this," he says looking at it as if he was just as confused as I was.

"What for?" I ask.

"I have no idea," he says with a sigh.

-0-

In all my years working at the SGC I never would have guessed that the thing that increased my workload the most was-my husband. He's enough of a technophobe that he dictates he's e-mails to me whenever he can plead or trick or bribe me into doing it. And here he is developing technological devices that I can't even figure out.

Daniel walks into my lab, "Uh, Sam, the General wants you to figure out what Jack did to the gate computer."

"Jack's been messing with Samson?" I say a little offended.

There is a long minute of silence as Daniel stares at me.

"See the technicians call it that, because…." I start.

"I so lost the bet that you didn't know about their name for it," he says.

"Who'd you bet?" I ask.

"Jack," he admits, looking ashamed.

"Yeah, well I wouldn't pay up if I were you-considering he's the one who told me. Now, do you and my husband often make bets about me?" I ask.

"Not often…" he says slowly.

"You can stop now," I said. "I guarantee you Jack is doing insider trading."

-0-

Jack can't speak English anymore. He gave us a whole bunch of new gate addresses, and everything he touches starts to work a whole lot better. Got to be honest with you. Don't care. My husband can't talk to me.

"Ego amare," he says. I look at Daniel whose been translating everything he says for the past few hours. Most of it he as to look up in his book, but not this.

"He says he loves you Sam," Daniel says.

"Ego amare right back at you," I say to him.

Jack seems to be doing a lot of things. Writing equations which help us find more planets to go to. Entering planets in our computer system. Making programs work better. But so far he has put no effort into saving himself. Doesn't he want to come back to me?

"Ego amare," he says again, squeezing my hand as he goes off to do some other task neither of us will understand. Yes, he wants to come back to me.

-0-

I suppose it was a stupid plan to go to off world right now. But I really thought it would increase my chances of saving my husband. Now all I've accomplished is getting caught out in the blistering hot sun. A sun which will kill me if the gate doesn't start magically working soon. All I can think of is how stupidly irresponsible it was to leave my kids without a parent. All I can think of is how Charlie now lost three parents, and Cassie four. I hope at least Jack and I are the last parents those kids ever have to lose. But I really wanted them to lose no parents at all. I really wanted to save Jack.

Then suddenly directions come flying through the worm whole. Directions to fix it, and directions to get me home. And I know that handwriting. See that's the thing. We don't let each other die. We'll find a way.

-0-

Of all the amazing things Jack has done since he got sick this is by far the most amazing. He just made the stargate ten times as powerful, and dial an extra chevron. He wants to go through it.

"No, Jack," I shake shaking my head because I know he doesn't understand him anymore, and I never did learn Latin.

"Ego amare," he says touching my face.

"Please, Jack," I beg.

He shakes his head.

"General, he needs an IDC, how will he get back?" I shout.

"Captain," Hammond says carefully, "Without knowing where he's going and why, that could put us in further jeopardy. I'm sorry, I can't authorize it."

"No, General," I say, and start heading up to the control room he's looking at us from. As soon as I'm turned Jack disappears into the event horizon.

"Traveler is still on route," Simmons says in a much too calm voice, "We've lost the traveler."

Daniel has his arm around me, and this time I'm glad for the sympathy.

"Redial," I shout, "We need to redial."

"The computer won't accept the eighth chevron," Simmons says after an attempt. I run up to the control room to give it my own shot. Not that I don't trust Simmons, but hey he's no O'Neill. After a few minutes of effort I give up with a sigh, "Sir, we're going to have to shut the whole system down and reboot."

"Can you close the iris if necessary?" he asks.

"Apparently not," I grimace. The General is going to be mad that we compromised the security of the base in a probably vain attempt to save one person.

"Captain, I don't care what you have to do. I want control of this system back," the General says. He's actually pretty calm considering.

"Yes, Sir, I'm trying. We have an incoming wormhole," I say. And suddenly I'm glad there is no way the General could order me to close the iris, because I so wouldn't do that.

Jack walks through the event horizon. I've never been so happy in my life. I want to run down there and kiss him, but I am still on duty, "Uh, systems back online, sir," I say.

The General grins at me, "Go say hi, Captain," he says with a nod of his head.

I run down into the room, and jump into his arms. "Ego amare," he whispers in my ear.

I pull back in horror and he starts to laugh, "Just kidding, that's all I remember."

I smack him, "You will pay for that later."

"Hey, Danny boy," he says looking at Daniel, "You know that meaning of life stuff?" Daniel nods, "I think we're going to be ok."


	10. Fifth

Jack's POV

October 1998

Talk about child labor. Orban is all about child labor. These kids range from six or so to maybe twelve years old. They are chipping away at the walls with Daniel. I think about little Davie. Kids shouldn't have to work. We've got an exchange program. Teal'c's knowledge of the Gou'ald for a little girl's knowledge of Naquada generators. She's been studying them her whole life. Her life may not have been that long, but she works hard that she's already an expert. Works hard, and is smart. Smart like Sam. Smart like Davie.

A few hours ago I delivered this little girl Merrin to Sammy. I know Sam well enough to know she isn't going to notice when the kid gets tired. She's going to be working on getting knowledge out of that kid until one or both of them collapses from exhaustion. That won't be happening on my watch. I walk into the lab where they have started to work.

"How is our little rocket scientist doing?" I ask.

"I'm not a rocket scientist," Merrin protests.

"You're a reactor expert aren't you?" Sam asks laughing.

"I just meant that you were very smart," I say.

"You find my intelligence level unusual?" Merrin asks.

"No, there are lots of intelligent people around here. Just not as young as you. How old are you anyway?" I ask.

"I'm eleven. How old are you?" Merrin asks. Before I can answer (although let's be honest, I wasn't really planning on answering) she continues, "Do you mean that you were not always as smart as you are today?"

"No. We spent a long time in school to get to this point," Sam says.

"Please explain what 'school' is," Merrin says with a crinkled eyebrow. We've met a lot of aliens. Most of them have known what school is. I mean it's not like I've actually asked, but…

"Uh, school is a place where you go to learn. A teacher gives you information and you take different classes to learn different subjects."

"So this is how you and Dr. Fraiser became scientists?" Merrin asks.

"Yep," Sam says.

Merrin turns to me, "You are not a scientist?"

"Defiantly not," I say.

"Then you are not as smart as Major O'Neill and Dr. Fraiser." Merrin says.

Sam is laughing. "Nobody is as smart as Sammy," I say with a smile.

"But Jack was my teacher once, he helped me learn in school," Sam adds.

"So you're smarter than Major O'Neill?" Merrin asks.

"No, I know some things she doesn't, and she knows a whole lot of things I don't. One of the things I'm an expert at is having fun."

"So this is what you taught Major O'Neill in school?" Merrin asked.

"No, he started teaching me that after I graduated," Sam says. Oh, cheeky!

The little girl looks confused, "You do know what fun is, don't you?" She shakes her head. Unbelievable, they have those kids working way too hard, "Ok, fun is…what you do to make yourself happy. Like music, games. It's whatever you do when you're not learning to be a rocket scientist."

"I am here to…'teach' Major O'Neill about the reactor." Merrin says slowly like she isn't quite sure but thinks this is what I mean.

"Sounds like fun to me," Sam says with a grin. I give her a glare.

"Whatever. Yeah, go ahead, knock yourself out," I say. I may be retreating from this battle, but certainly not from the war.

-0-

Ok, it's been long enough. This is ridiculous! Did my wife forget that Merrin is a little kid? She's been working enough hours. Her home planet might not have any child labor laws but earth certainly does! I head down to the lab. As I enter Merrin is standing on a chair reaching for something.

"Merrin. What are you doing? Get down," I scold lifting her down from her perch.

"Colonel O'Neill, I need fifteen sheets of paper, at least 48 cm by 23 cm," she says and she sounds like a tiny little scientist. I mean my kids are smart, but when they talk they still sound like kids. Well Jonny doesn't, Jonny sounds like and alien. But he is an alien, and alie raised by another alien. Ok, so Merrin is an alien to, but she's also a HUMAN. A human child.

"Well, that's fine, why don't you just ask…?" Oh, Sam's sleeping. "Major O'Neill!" I shout in my best drill sergeant voice. I've never yet got to call Sam "Major." We don't use the military ranks very often. She got promoted over a year ago when she saved the world (and me) from that damned Hathor and her freaking hormone laced breath. But like I said we stay away from ranks. Even when we're at work we usually just "sir" and "O'Neill" it. It cracks me up to refer to her by the name she got from me while we're at work. But sleeping on the job is totally worth freaking her out with a military rank.

She jumps about four feet in the air, "Oh, Merrin I am so sorry." She blushes, and doesn't look at me. Oh come on Sam, I think, how many times have I fallen asleep at a briefing? She looks at Merrin's drawings and I can see her getting all excited, "Wow. These are amazing."

Both of them are spewing technobabble faster than I've ever heard anyone before. This is worse than when Sam's looking over the projects of her under geeks, "All right! Will you two give it a rest? Both of you. You've been at this for twenty-four hours. You need rest."

"I do not need to. Urrone children require little sleep," Merrin says.

"Ok, now I'm jealous," Sam says. I grin at her. The woman is wife, mother to four (if you count one who lives on another planet with his Grandpa-and we do), leading scientist, Air Force major, and all around exciting that's with sleeping six hours a night. I wonder what she'd do if she required less sleep? We'd probably end up with a Stargate in our basement made out of spare parts or something.

"All right, Carter, you sleep," I say, "Young lady, if not sleep…fun."

She shakes her head, "No, I need fifteen sheets of paper, at least 43cm by 28cm."

"Fifteen?" I repeat. How on earth does she know she'll need fifteen? Not fourteen, not sixteen, but fifteen?

"Colonel O'Neill? I require some of these 'pencils' as well."

-0-

My blood is boiling. Daniel has given me at least a million lectures on other people's cultures being different than ours. About how we can't interfere with other people's cultures. But you know what? Screw that. That's advice you give when they want you to eat truly nasty food. That's fine when they want you to stand a certain place or wear a certain kind of clothes. That's not advice you give when they want you to hand over an eleven year old girl to have her genius brains sucked out. Damn it! Damn them! So not happening.

Daniel is off to figure out a way to diplomatically get them to not suck out the girl's brains. Not sure how he's going to do that. I mean the guys a dad himself. If I was across the table from those people right now pretty sure I'd wring their necks. I'm not letting them suck out the girl's brains!

I burst through the door both Sam and Merrin are staring at me. Sam didn't make it to the briefing so she doesn't know what this averium consists of.

"Merrin you don't have to go back to Orban. If you ask to stay they will let you. They will protect you," I tell her.

Sam is still staring at me like I'm nuts, and Merrin looks confused, "Protect me from what?" she asks.

"The averium," I say.

"The Averium is a great honour," she says.

"Merrin, I know that's what the adults have told you. But when they take out these…nanite things, they also take out everything that makes you…you," I don't want to be too blunt with her. It would hurt if she understood what these people she loved and trusted wanted her to do. But I needed to be l blunt enough so that she would know. So that she wouldn't go back.

"But my people will have my knowledge," she says with a smile.

"But you won't," I say. Sam's eyes are concerned and confused behind her. "They are going to suck those robots out of her head Sam. And then she gets to play baby for the next seventy years."

Sam's eyes are huge, and she turns the kid toward her, "Merrin, we just don't think you realize what you'd be giving up by going through the Averium."

"It is a great honor to be chosen," she repeats.

"Will you please…stop saying that?" I say, and my voice is faint and pleading.

"Please return me to Orban," she says. The last time a kid was pleading with me it was to keep him. Keep him even if he was going to die. Now this kid is pleading for me to let her go, let her go even if she is going to die. Or at least be brain dead. What is with these kids and their death wishes?

"You do understand we're trying to help, right?" I ask.

"I don't need your help," is her quick reply. Oh, sweetie, you do.

-0-

"Kalan has come to escort Merrin back to Orban. Before you say anything, know that I've already granted his request," Hammond says.

I glare at Daniel. I was counting on him. Really counting on him. I figured there was absolutely no way in hell he could look at Merrin and not see Hesina, his own little daughter. I thought there was no way in hell he'd even consider sending her back, and I thought he had the diplomacy skills to save her life.

"I don't like it either, Jack, but…you don't know the effect this is having on the Orbanians," he says not quite able to meet his eyes. He's raising a kid with a disability. He'd loves Aki, but Aki also breaks his heart. Doesn't he know that Merrin is going to be an Aki without her brain? No way worse. Way worse because she'll have everything removed, and no one to teach her.

"What about the effect it's having on Merrin?" I spit out leveling my eyes on his. A challenge.

"Your Dr. Littlefield has come to realize Merrin's importance to her people," Kalan offers.

"Her importance as a vegetable?" I ask, and I see Daniel flinch. Good. I hear Hammond offer me a curt warning. Don't care, the little girl matters more.

"If you would try to understand…" Kalan says diplomatically.

"No! I won't. The way you treat your children is absurd. You don't deserve them," I sputter.

"Colonel O'Neill!" Hammond shouts.

I'm not going to win this argument, but I'm also not going to let them turn that little girl's brain into mush, "Request permission to be excused, sir," I say as an attempt at protocol. But I'm already out the door going down the hallway to get that little girl the hell away from this place.

-0-

I'm lucky when I get to the room. Sam and Merrin have just caused an explosion. Sam is on the phone trying to calm down the General, and I escort Merrin from the room. Not that Sam is a big fan of the whole brain suckers concept, but she's a good soldier. I know, being married to me this long you think I'd have that trained out of her, but good soldier still she is. She wouldn't help me kidnap an alien, even under these circumstances.

"You are taking me to the surface?" Merrin asks. She's a super genius so she's probably already got this all figured out.

"Yes. Look, you came here to learn right? There's something I have to show you, but I have to take you off the base for it."

"You don't have permission do you?" she asks.

"No," I say. But she comes with me anyway.

-0-

"Is this a school?" she asks.

"Part of it. We call this the playground," I say with a grin.

"What is it for?" she asks.

"Well, just watch," I say.

Charlie and Cassie's old classmates came pouring out. I could have taken them to the junior high school the kids go to now, but there is no playground, and the kids are way older than Merrin. Could have taken him over to Daniel's house where Davie goes to school. But I there is no playground there either (although there are lots of toys) and I don't want to get Sha're in trouble. Besides I know this teacher well, and these kids are the perfect age.

One of the kids, what is his name? One of those goofy modern names staring with a c or k or something says, "Colonel Jack, what are you doing here?"

"Playing hooky. Kids, I want you to meet my friend. Her name's Merrin. Think you can show her around while I talk to Mrs. Struble?" I say. I grin as they obey dragging her off to teach her a game.

"Colonel O'Neill! The kids have been asking when you're coming back to see us. How's Cassandra and Charles enjoying Junior High?" she asks.

"Oh, they're doing fine. Love it. Listen, do you have room for another student this afternoon? She's visiting, from out of town," I say. The teacher probably heard enough strange things coming from Cassie's mouth to know I mean way out of town. But it's a base school. Base teacher. She knows what "classified" means.

"Well, we have art scheduled after recess," she says with some hesitation.

"Perfect," I assure her.

-0-

I think I've finally got Merrin to think of something creative. She's finally painting something that doesn't look exactly like it does in real life. I see Sam slip into the back of the classroom, and move over to talk to her.

"Did you bring the cavalry?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "I think that little girl has too many people trying to rescue her, not too few," she says with a sigh.

"I was gonna bring her back, I just wanted to give her a reason to live first," I mutter.

"And here I thought this was about your insatiable need to adopt every orphan in the galaxy," she mutters.

"She's got parents," I mutter.

"No, people who use their kids as science experiments aren't parents," she mutters.

"So, if she stays…" I begin.

"I think you are going to have to accept that Marrin doesn't want to stay. Unless you plan on making this kidnapping a more permanent thing…" Sam says.

"Sam I need to know if I can go over that little girl a home as well as sanctuary," I say.

She shuts her eyes, "I'm serious about you not bringing home every kid in the universe," she says.

"But…" I say, because I could hear the but in her voice.

"But you can offer that little girl a place in our family," she says shoving me forward.

I walk across the room and look at Merrin's picture, "It's beautiful," I say.

"Thank you Colonel O'Neill, for teaching this to me," she says.

"Merrin," I glance around. No one appears to be within ear shot just in case she lets something drop, "You don't have to go home. If you ask for sanctuary. I'll find a way to make it happen. You could come live with Major O'Neill and I. You'd have three brothers, and a big sister. We'd never let anyone hurt you," I say carefully.

"I have a duty to my people. My knowledge is important to them," she says.

"You're important too Marrin," I say. She looks at me for a long time, before she puts down her paint brush and goes like a lamb to the slaughter.

-0-

We get the call to go back to Orban for a visit. This is not on my list of things I want to do. I'd rather not see Marrin post-op. Then suddenly there she is. Drawing all over the wall. All her people drawing, playing, having fun.

I bend town next to her, "Hi Merrin," I say. But she doesn't recognize me. She doesn't know who I am. I think about Daniel and his son. My heart breaks a little bit for him.

"Ok. I guess we'll just have to get to know one another all over again," I say with a smile.

-0-

"So Sam," I say as she smiles at the kids playing, "About Merrin."

"She has parents Jack," she says shaking her head.

"They let them suck her brains out," I point out. Sam makes a face.

"But they wouldn't hurt her again," she says.

"No," I don't know what else you could do to a kid.

"And they are teaching her," Sam continues.

"Yeah," I admit.

"Jack, how would you feel if someone asked you for one of your kids?" she asks.

I groan, "They let their people suck her brains out!" I protest.

"Jack, we have four children, she won't be hurt, the answer is…" she says.

"…No, yeah I know you're right, Carter, but it just…" I continue.

"Breaks your heart," she finishes for me.

"Yeah," I say.

-0-

Jack's POV

November 1998

Sam's got her good soldier face on. She's not fooling me.

"Hey," I whisper, "What happened?"

She doesn't answer, just points me to the chair in the briefing room. Damn, it must have been bad.

Daniel walks in talking about something he found. He was with another team looking at some such thing. Sam tries to stop him, "Daniel. There's been an incident." I wish I knew what the incident was so I could spare her having to tell him.

"Yeah, I know, I got your message, but this is really important. There is this light in this amazing…" Daniel continues.

"Barber's dead," she says in an even voice. I just loaned Daniel out to do research on this place. Loaned him out to Barber's team. Daniel's just spent the last three days with the guy.

"What?" he asks in disbelief. As the briefing continues I get more information. Barber threw himself into gate while it was doing that swish thing it does. He's dead. He killed himself, and Sam saw it. I give her hand a little squeeze under the table. She pushes my hand away. I know it's not even about professional behavior. It's about the good soldier routine. At work she doesn't want anyone to know this death affect her. Actually she probably doesn't want anyone to know at all.

But when I get her home, and tell her about some time when someone died in front of me, she'll let herself feel. Only after she sees me do it.. Only then can she believe it doesn't make her a bad person, a bad soldier. Then I'll hold her and reassure her and remind her it's ok to feel, and it doesn't just hurt, because she's a woman.

-0-

The next morning the phone is ringing. I get up and hear Sha're's voice. I'm a little miffed at her by proximity. Yesterday, Daniel was impatient, annoying, and yelling at the General. I don't want to have to deal with Daniel. At least not before my morning cup of coffee.

"Jack…Dan'yel…" and her voice cuts off in a sob.

"What happened, Sha're?" I ask. My annoyance turned to worry in an instant. I'm pulling on my pants as I try to listen.

"This morning I wake up, he's not in bed, so I go to see where he is. He's standing on the balcony, over the railing…"

I almost say Jesus, but I'm talking to Shar'e. She's almost unoffendable, but that is one word that would offend her, "He alright?" I ask in panic.

"I got him inside, but Jack?" she asks.

"Yeah, I'll be right over," I say.

-0-

Sam is geared up. Heading that damn planet that makes everyone who sets foot in it want to die. I don't want her to go. I don't want to lose Sam any way. But to lose her to suicide…it would hurt so much more.

"Don't go…" I say softly enough only she can hear.

"Sir," she says, "I have my orders."

"Please, Sam," I say.

"I'll be careful," she says with a smile and a nod, "Make sure Cassie finishes her history paper."

-0-

"Sam," I said. Yeah, I know it should have been "O'Neill" or "Major" because we're still at work. But I just watched a whole team of people who had been on that planet die pretty horrific deaths. She's on that planet. Right now she's not Major, he's my life.

"What's wrong, sir?" she asks. Her words may be professional, her voice not so much.

"Uh, SG-5…they didn't make it," I say.

"How is Daniel?" she asks.

"He's in a coma right now, Fraiser doesn't…it doesn't look good," I say.

"We've got the medical samples," she says.

"You bringing them?" I ask.

"Sir…" she says.

"Someone has too, you could check on Daniel," I offer.

"Or I could baby my husband the wuss," she replies.

"Whatever it takes O'Neill."

-0-

I laughed when Janet told me. Laughed. I thought there was absolutely no way that Sam freaked out in the infirmary. Yelled. Threw things. Swore. But it wasn't a joke. Apparently this is the first sign of the illness. So not so funny. Her brain chemicals are all out of wake and she wasn't gone that long. She was just gone for a couple of hours.

I sit down on the infirmary bed Sam's on, and Fraiser tells us together. Sam's addicted to that planet. One hour and she's addicted like it is some kind of a drug. She says Sam might not have been there too long. The addiction might go away.

Daniel starts to flat line.

Damn it.

"We have to get him back to that planet," Janet says.

I know. They roll him right up to the ramp of the active gate. I start to pick him up.

"No, sir, I'm already addicted it has to be me. And you have to stay—" she pauses, and I know what she means. We have to make sure one of us survives to take care of the kids. We've been more careful about one life threatening thing at a time ever since the time when Sam was off world while I had the ancient knowledge in my head. I don't actually remember this incident, but we can't leave our kids without any parents.

"Go," I nod to Sam.

Sam is a strong woman, but Daniel's a pretty big man. She heaves him over her shoulder, and runs toward the gate. She makes it look like he weighs nothing at all. She's a damn good soldier.

-0-

"Sam," I say with a grin. The control room techs are giving us as much room as they can while I talk to her over that thing, "I hear you found a way to get away from that nasty addiction."

"Yeah, it's going to take a few weeks though," she says with a sigh, "Don't let Cassie hide her history homework from you. And make sure Davie wears his helmet when he…maybe you can just convince him to wear it all the time until I get back…"

"Sam," I stop her.

"Yeah," she says.

"I've got it under control. So tell me about Loran. I hear you found the kids parent's."

"Or what was left of them," she pauses, "Jack, do we need to have the not bringing home every orphan in the universe conversation again?"

"Carter, the kid is all alone…" I begin.

"No, he's not," she says.

"What?" I ask.

"Jonas, has…got pretty attached to the kid. Actually the kid got really, really, attached to Jonas. Unless Janet says no…He's not alone," she says.

"Oh," I say trying not to let the disappointment get into my voice. I mean I've never met this kid. Don't know anything about him but a shadow on a video and a few words at a briefing. But I feel like I lost a kid.

"Jack," she says softly, "You ok?"

"'Course, O'Neill," I reply flippantly.

"Jack, when I come back maybe we should talk about number five," she says.

"What?" I ask.

"I think maybe your desperate desire to scoop up a kid…I mean…maybe we should talk about having another kid. We meant to have two kids together. We had Davie, and started adopting. Maybe we should get around to hypothetical baby number three."

The technicians have stopped pretending not to be listening.

"Sam, let's talk when you get home," I say.

"Seven and three fourths more weeks, Jack. Make sure Charlie does his math by himself. If you let him and Cassie 'work together' Cassie will do all the work."

"Got it Sam," I say.

-0-

Jack's POV

December 1998

"Jonas," I say with a smile. I was worried when Hammond called me in without any information. But if Jonas is here it must be ok. He's on her team.

"Jack," he says looking like someone just slapped him. "She…" his voice is shaking, "She…went back for the kid."

"Kid?" I ask.

"Laira is this single mom on the planet, she had a son…Garren. There was an asteroid shower. Laira couldn't find Garren. He was off with his girlfriend. Sam went to go get her," Jonas says.

"So we need to go search the cave," I say.

"Jack," Oh God, she can't be dead. She can't be dead. "The gate is gone."

I blink, "Gone?"

"Uh, or buried, we can't make a lock," he says.

"So we need a ship," I say.

Jonas stares at me.

"We have allies, we'll get a ship. Dial Thor," I say to Walter.

"Sir?" Walter asks.

Jonas puts his hand on my shoulder, "Jack, why don't we go sit somewhere."

"We have to get Sam back first," I say.

"We're working on it Jack. We don't leave people behind. You were the one who told me that. We'll find her Jack. Right now you need to calm down."

"Thor?" I ask, "Thor likes me. And tell her Dad. Her Dad can get the Tok'ra's but in gear. The Tok'ra have ships."

"Yes they do, Jack," he says.

"Ok," I say.

"Want to come to my office?" Jonas asks still talking me down.

"No, I'll….I'll be in Sam's lab if someone needs me," I said.

-0-

Jack's POV

January 1999

A month ago we were talking about expanding our family. Now it looks like our family is striking. Four weeks. Four weeks of dialing the gate with no results. Buried, or blown-up, or something. If it was fixable Sam would fix it by now. Unless…

But that's one think I actually can't deal with. Sam safe in a cave somewhere I can deal with. Even if it means she isn't with us. Sam dead I cannot deal with. No, Sam doesn't die easy. She's fine. She's fine and waiting for us to save her. And wondering what the hell is taking us so long. No man get left behind. But she did.

"McKay!" I shout entering his lab. He cowards.

"I don't have any lemons, today," I say.

"Decided it was wrong to threaten a man with something he's allergic too?" McKay asks.

"No, but it is ineffective," I say, "You figure out how to get her back yet?"

"I can't do the impossible. What do you want me to do make a stargate and beam it over to Sam?" he asks in exasperation.

"If necessary," I growl.

"I want Sam back too," he says.

"Not badly enough or she'd be here," I glare at him. If Sam was here and McKay was there she'd have saved him by now. I'm sure of it. But I've probably terrified him enough for now. On to my next sight.

-0-

"Daniel!" I shout. He doesn't cower. That just isn't Daniel's style. It's pretty obnoxious.

"Yes Jack," he says with a smile.

"You know perfectly well what, Daniel!" I bellow. It has no effect on him.

"No word from Thor or the Tok'ra, Jack," he says with sympathy. I much prefer McKay's cowering to Daniel's sympathy.

"Did ya call 'em again?" I asked.

"No, Jack, I've just been sitting on my ass, while my friend is missing," he says sarcastically. Then his eyes get all soft, "I know she's your wife. Trust me I'm trying," he says. I don't say anything, "Jack how are things going at home?"

"I'm fine," I say turning to leave.

"'Cause three kids is a lot for one person. You know if you need some help…"

"We're fine, and it's four kids Daniel, four kids," I say.

"I know, but every night you go home to three kids. All by yourself. You know, Sha're and I can help…" he says.

And I try to be nice. Mostly because I'm never going to fool Daniel with my grumpy general routine. He knows I'm in pain. "Thanks," I murmur.

"We'll find her, Jack," he says.

-0-

"General," I say, looking at Hammond. He has the grace to flinch when I enter a room. Why can't Daniel be more like him?

"Don't have any news, Jack," he replies before I ask.

"Ok," I must try to be nicer to people, "Uh…I actually wanted to talk to you about something else," I say.

"What is it son?" he asks.

"I want to be reassigned," I say.

"You want off SG-1?" he says obviously confused.

"Yeah…uh…something administrative maybe," I say.

The General is staring at me. "Administrative?" he asks.

"She's been gone a month sir. My parents are old. Her Dad lives off world. I have to think about…about what would happen to my kids," I say.

"Jack," he says looking at me, "You know we'd take care of you kids."

"We?" I ask.

"Me, your team, this whole freaking base. We'd all make sure someone took good care of them," he says softly. I know he's telling the truth. Hammond has been checking on us a lot since Sam went missing.

"I know that, but these kids…they've lost enough parents," I say.

"I understand that, son," he says placing his hand on my shoulder, "I'll see if I can find something for you Jack."

"I appreciate it, sir," I say.

"Hang in there Jack, we'll bring her home," he says patting my back.

-0-

Strange I grump at people all day, and then I get home, and I'm not grumpy. I'm grinning, tickling, playing, helping with homework, and making supper. I'm being super dad. Super mom too. This is the best part of my day. The part between the yelling at people at work and the empty bed.

God that bed is empty. I've added pillows. Lots of pillows. Three fourths of a bed worth of pillows. But it's still empty. I spray her perfume on the pillow, use her lotion, her shampoo, but somehow the smell that is Samantha is none of these things, or rather all of them and more.


	11. Grace

Thank you to all my lovely readers who stuck with me through the delay. I passes my thesis defense so I will hopefully be updating more regularity.

Sam's POV

August 2000

There is crying in the night, and this time it isn't me. I get up, and I remember just how sore I still am. When Davie was born I didn't have to get up with him for the first couple weeks. Jack brought him to the bed to feed. I was spoiled.

"Hey, Gracie, I got you," I say. Davie looked like Jack; no denying it. But Gracie is…Gracie is a tiny, little Jack. God I miss him. Eight months I've been gone. I don't think I'd be able to take the separation-from Jack-from my kids, if it hadn't been for this new little wonder.

God, eight months. Cassie and Charlie are in high school now. High school. I didn't get to take them for their first day. Davie has probably gotten past the stage where fart jokes are hilarious. Ok, he's Jack's son, so probably not. Still he's no doubt changed, and the fact that I don't know how he's changed just makes it worse.

I wonder how Jack's doing. I hope he isn't falling apart. Our kids need him. I hope he can live without me. But also…I hope he can't. To have no one grief at your death would be a tragedy.

But I'm not dead. I'm alive. I'm alive, and with a new baby. Of course, I wouldn't have gone through the gate had I known I was a pregnant. But I didn't know, so here I am.

When I was first stranded here I tried to do what I always did. I tried to work all day and night without stopping. I tried to save myself. But it didn't work. I fell asleep, over and over I feel asleep. I was here for a week before I realized what must be wrong. Then I took it a little easier. I slept, I ate well, but I worked all the harder to find the Stargate. I wanted my family back, wanted them to be here to welcome this new member of their family.

Well, that ship has sailed, but I do think I'm close to getting us home. I figured a way to make a naquada detector out of natural materials, and located the gate. The villagers were helping me dig it out when I went into labor. The villagers have been great. They have allowed me to take my part of the food and shelter even though I don't do anything to secure them. They believe I'm going to bring their family back. I hope they are right.

"Grace," I coo, and I now it is me crying in the night.

One week later

When we finally freed the gate I didn't know quite what to say in my first radio contact with earth. So I didn't say much, and I didn't mention Grace. I walk through the gate and see Jack. My heart jumps into my throat. I've missed him. I rush into his arms, and give him a huge hug. Gracie whimpers, probably because she was crushed against a stranger's heart. I rock her a little.

"I thought we talked about not adopting every orphan in the galaxy, Sam," he says, but I know that Jack's already accepted Grace as a member of her family, even though he doesn't know she is his yet. He's got that goopy look of love he wouldn't let just anyone see.

"So what's this little one's name?" He says rubbing her face softly with a single finger.

"Gracie," I say looking into his eyes waiting for the exact moment when he gets it.

"Grace was Gran's name," he says slowly and carefully.

"I know that," I say with a laugh.

"And it goes with our "y" theme," he adds, "But about adopting every orphan galaxy," He's trying to pretend he's against this, but he most certainly is not.

"Gracie isn't an orphan, Jack," I say laughing at him.

He deflates, "Well then, Sam, you should give her back to her parents."

"Ok," and I put her in his arms.

"Gracie is ours?" he says looking from my face to his daughter's.

I nod, "I didn't know when I went through the gate. I wouldn't have gone had I known."

"Gracie is ours!" he repeats.

"Surprise!" I say with a cheeky grin much like his.

"How is it possible that I'm the father of five children and I have yet to make it to a single birth?" and there is pain in his voice.

He missed a lot with Gracie, just like I did with the rest of the kids. So I decide to answer him literally as a way of avoiding the real question. "Well, Cassie's parents were there for her birth. We didn't even know aliens existed back then. You not being there for Davie's was Hammond's fault. He shouldn't have sent you on a mission. I'm not even sure Jonny had a birth it was probably more of a Frankenstein moment, or however Reetou hatch. And this one we can blame on this planet's "fire rain". I'm not sure why you missed Charlie's," I say.

"You do know that was a rhetorical question right?" he asks readjusting Grace as she begins to squirm. "And missing Charlie's birth was the Air Force's fault as well. Although if it was your father who was missing these things you'd be blaming him and not the Air Force."

"Don't psychoanalyze me, Jack," I say trying to make it sound light and friendly while also letting him know there was a real warning in it.

"Don't say my son 'hatched' or call him 'Frankenstein'," he says.

"Bad joke," I say.

"I'm going to kiss you even though we're at work," he says.

When we (finally) pull away I say, "I hope the General didn't see that."

"Oh, I guarantee you he did, but I also know he won't mind."

"Yeah, Hammond is pretty understanding," I say.

"Oh, actually we got a new General," he says.

"What? Where is Hammond?"

"Oh, he's got a new job, home world security, pretty important stuff," Jack says casually.

"Ok, so what's this new guy like?" I ask.

"I guarantee you're going to love him," Jack smirks. "In fact you sort of promised to love him forever at Gran's cabin a few years back."

"You made General?" I ask.

"You sound surprised," he says, and the offense was real.

"No, not surprised like 'I can't believe those idiots made you General'. You deserve it, but…it was kind of fast. You haven't been Colonel for very long. I guess you get promoted fast when you're saving the world."

"That and they couldn't give control of a base like this to a Colonel. And when I asked for a desk job…well, they gave me a desk job!" he says.

"You asked for a desk job?" I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"Yeah, we promised a long time ago that if one of us was…well, that the other one would get a safe job," he says.

"Yeah," he thought I was dead. Oh God, I hope he didn't date. I wouldn't blame him if he did, but oh God, I hope he didn't.

He can read my face like star chart of the milky way, "I knew you weren't dead Sam. You don't die that easy, but I wasn't sure you were coming home. And those kids…been through enough," he says.

"You did the right thing, Jack," I say and I feel the tears coming. "Damn hormones," I mutter.

"You have enough reason to cry without blaming that. Come on Sam," he says, "Come into my new office for a bit. Of course, you could go home. But your Dad is brining Jonny in a few hours, and the other kids are all at school, so…"

"No, I want to see this office where my husband is a General. Do you actually sit behind the desk?" I ask.

He nods.

"Not on it, but behind it?" I clarify.

He squirms a little.

"So how are the kids?" I ask.

"Great," he says.

"How are you?" I ask. He's about to give a quick easy response, but I catch his eye. I can read him like an astrophysics text.

"I took care of the kids. I held it together enough to make sure they didn't have to deal with any more crap than they had to deal with. But that's about all I managed. I was horrible to people here. I followed McKay around with citrus trying to get him to save you. Terrified everyone, but Daniel, who just asked me how I was doing every time I did the crabby General act," he whispers.

I grin at that. Daniel is pretty unflappable. "You missed me," I say with a teasing smile.

"Ya think?" he says, but his words aren't full of sarcasm, but something deeper. "How old is Grace?" he asks.

"Eight days," I say smiling at my baby, at last where she belongs, in her Daddy's arms.

He stares at me, "You gave birth a week ago Sam?" he asks in shock.

"Mmmhmm," I say without acknowledging his shocked expression.

"So you pop out a kid, and find your way across the galaxy in the SAME WEEK?" he asks.

"Most of the finding my way across the galaxy was done in the eight months BEFORE Gracie was born," I say with a grin.

He relaxes a little, but I can tell by the way his hand is on sitting on the small of my back he's pretty intent on getting me to sit down and 'relax'. "So how exactly did you get home?"

"I built a naquada detector," I say causally.

"Out of?"

"A shovel, a weather device, scraps of my air sensor, and the bottles they keep their moonshine in," I explain.

He stares at me for a long moment, then he looks down at Grace, "Your mother might not have mentioned this Grace, but she's pretty smart."

"Don't let him fool you Grace, you get your smarts from you Daddy too," I say.

I assumed Jack called the school to let our kids know the good news of my arrival back on earth. I had underestimated my husband's flare for the dramatic. Cassie comes out first talking to her friends. One of them sees us, freezes, and points. Cassie's eyes follow her extended arm. Cassie drops her books and things go flying everywhere. A world history textbook lands face down on a piece of gum, an algebra text makes two halfhearted flips before lodging itself in the grass. Her binder does a dance in the wind before spreading papers (none of them properly filed, that's my Cass) through the wind. Cassie makes no motion to collect her belongings, but her friends scramble after them.

She just stands there. I smack Jack's shoulder and go out to her. She still doesn't move. I pull her into a bone crushing hug, and her body doesn't react to pull away or closer. She just stands there like a rag doll.

"Mom," she says after a long minute.

"Yeah, it's ok baby, I'm home."

She's sobbing against my shoulder, and I feel a tap on my shoulder. One of her friends is handing my Cass's collected belongings with a grin on her face.

"Thanks," I say with a smile, "Come on Cass," I say keeping my arm in contact with her as we head to the van. She looks in the backseat. You can't actually see Grace, just the borrowed car seat with the ridiculously large guard to prevent any sun from getting in her eyes. Cassie looks at me with a question in her eye, "Uh, yeah meet your new baby sister," I say. She slides into the van, and gets and excited hug from Jonny before she starts peaking at her sister.

Just then I hear a gasp. The front of high schools are not quiet places, so it's saying something that I literally heard Charlie's gasp from the door of the school. I turn to him, and I can see he's about to cry. This of course, to a male freshman in high school, is a fate considerably worse than death. I rush toward him, and give him an awkward 'buddy' pat on the back which allows him to make it to the van. Once inside he looks at the baby, "Who is this?" he says.

"It's your sister Grace," Jack replies casually as he pulls out into traffic.

"She yours?" he asks Jack.

Both Jack and I turn and give him an offended, "Of course!" He turns bright red.  
>"That's not how I meant it. I meant like, is she yours or is she adopted." He glances at his two adopted siblings, "not that adopted kids aren't yours but…" he stammers.<p>

Cassie puts an arm on his shoulder, "It's ok," she says.

"She's our biological child. Your mother didn't know she was going to have a baby when she went through the gate, but she must have been, what a month pregnant?" he asks looking at me.

"'A little less, Gracie was a week early," I say with a smile.

"You've got to fill me in on the whole pregnancy," Jack says with a frown, he missed so much.

"Gracie was breach. I was terrified. Laira kept telling me she'd delivered breach babies before, but I was frantic. I'd have kissed a Gou'ald symbiot for Janet and an epidural."

"Eww," Charlie responds.

"The kissing symbiot part or the breach part?" Cassie asks.

"Both," Charlie says making a horrible face.

Cassie laughs at her brother, "Gracie, I'm not the only girl anymore. Soon you'll be able to help me keep these guys in line," Cassie says looking at her baby sister.

"What am I, chopped liver?" I ask.  
>"You don't count as a girl," she says. I'm about to protest. I gave birth a week ago. Defiantly a girl. "You're too old," she finishes.<p>

I turn to glance at her (feeling just a touch of pain left over as I do that, if only Laira's people knew about stiches I'd be healed by now) "Cassie, you're almost too old to be called a girl yourself." I say.

"Don't even say it," Jack and Charlie say at the same time.

I catch a glimpse of a Jacklike eye peeping out of the window of Daniel's house. Charlie gets up to throw the door open before sitting down again, and Davie enters the van at a speed so quick I'm a little surprised he doesn't come out the other side. He's sitting down and buckled up by the time he realizes that in the seat that normally contains his big brother is now occupied by a car seat.

"Who is that Dad?" Charlie asks. As he asks the question he looks at his Dad which causes him to also see me.

He doesn't say a word, and I didn't even see him unbuckle his seat belt, but he's on my lap in a second.

"Hey!" Jack protests, and I look up to see that Davie kicked his father in the head.

"I knew you would come back," Davie says. "I knew it."

Sam's POV

September 2000

As soon as I pick Charlie and Cassie up from school Charlie starts insisting that I take him to the base.

"I need to talk to Teal'c," he says firmly.

"Teal'c is on a mission honey, he won't be back for two days," I tell him. I'm a little worried. I'm trying to think of the problems I wouldn't be able to fix and that Teal'c would be able to. Those problems are all pretty violent. Problems I don't want my son to have.

"Dad then, Dad can probably fix this," he says.

"There is nothing to fix," Cassie says with an eye roll.

"Honey your Dad is on a mission, right now," I say glancing back.

"Ok, maybe we can borrow a team of marines then," he says.

"Charlie you're terrifying your mother, can you tell me what you need the muscle for?" I ask.

"Cassie has a boyfriend," Charlie says. I laugh out of pure relief.

Charlie glares at me, "Did you not hear what I said? Cassie has a BOYFRIEND, we have to get someone to scare him away."

I glance in the rear view mirror at my daughter's red face, "Cassie, tell me about this boy. And we do have to meet him before you can date him." She's nearing sixteen, you had to figure the dating was going to come pretty soon.

"His name is Daman, and he just wanted to come over to study. I'm not even sure it's a date," she explains. "Please don't let them embarrass me," she begs.

"It's for Friday. It's a date. Mom will Teal'c be back on Friday?" Charlie asks.

"Yes he will be, but he most certainly will not be coming over. Your father and I will say hi to this guy, and leave you alone to study."

"Mom!" Charlie protests.

"Your overprotective brother will be somewhere else," I assure her.

Three days later

Did I really think I could keep them away? Cassie is the oldest of all of the SG-1 and SG-2 kids. It's about ten minutes after her maybe date begins that Jonas stops by, because his weather channel is out and he needs an update. He takes a good look and listen walking by the study where the kids are working. He's still there when Teal'c and Daniel show up. Daniel offers me a box of donuts as an attempt at explanation, but Teal'c makes no pretense. He marches right into the study. Daniel runs after him.

"Are we correct in assuming you are a classmate of the _young_ CassandraO'Neill?" Teal'c asks with his arms crossed and glaring down at the boy.

The boy nods his head, and I'm not sure but I think he might actually be shaking.

"We just wanted to meet Cassie's friend," Daniel stammers, "Get back to studying." Daniel tries to nudge Teal'c out of the room but the end effect is like nudging a brick wall.

"When CassandraO'Neill was a younger girl she injured herself while endeavoring to climb a tree. That tree was destroyed, as is anything which would dare to hurt young CassandraO'Neill." He says glaring at the boy even harder.

"I…" Damon stammers.

"Teal'c," I say with a warning sound. Teal'c gives the boy one more glare taking a step out of the room at the exact moment that Daniel tries his 'move a brick wall' move. The result is Daniel almost tipping over. Teal'c puts out one giant arm to steady him, and they both leave the room looking far less intimidating than they did when they came in, but no less embaressing.

Poor Cassie!

October 2000

"Charlie gets away from that window!" Jack growls.

"Are you kidding me? I told you to stop spying on your sister five minutes ago!" I say leaning around the corner from the kitchen to the living room.

"He's kissing her now! Go!" Charlie says shoving his dad toward the front door.

"Jeez Charlie she's sixteen today, she can kiss her boyfriend," Jack says. Charlie being so overprotective has made Jack pretty mellow about this whole thing. Or maybe he would have been mellow anyway, it's hard to tell.

"Mom!" Charlie shouts not having moved away from the window.

"Charlie, so help me if you don't give your sister some privacy I will ground you," I growl.

"Mom, she passed out!" Charlie says.

Jack and I are both running toward the door. Jack was a lot closer so he makes it out there first. He picks her up. "What the hell did you do to her?" Jack screams at Damon.

"Nothing!" Damon looks truly panicked.

"Tell us about what was happening right before," I say.

Damon goes pale.

Charlie turns out to be the calm one, "They know about the kissing," he says to Damon, "The light like exploded and she went down," he says to us.

"You're going to watch your brother and sister," I say to Charlie. Jack starts carrying Cassie into the truck. I suddenly realize I'm still carrying the dish I was drying. I've left a trail of wet suds through the living room and onto the porch. I hand the dish to Charlie, and get into the pick-up.

Jack has put Cassie in the back seat, probably in the expectation that I would sit up front. I run around to the other side of the truck and climb into the backseat next to her. I pull her limb body against mine. Jack glances back at me, and there is something in his eye which I haven't seen in a long time. Not since the Tok'ra healed Jonny. Something I'd begun to dare to hope I'd never see again. It was this look of terror, and despair, and a thousand other emotions which when all wrapped together have acquired the name of "parent's worry."

"It's ok, Cassie; it's ok," I say whipping the hair from her eyes. But I'm not really talking to her. I'm really talking to the man in the front seat. "It's ok; it's going to be ok."

Later

She still isn't moving. I hate looking at the still body. I feel her forehead. It's still warm, really warm.

Jack has been pacing, and fiddling with a finely calibrated machine. Janet would not be pleased. He plops down in a chair. "She's just getting over the flu," he offers.

"This isn't the flu," I say.

Janet enters, and gives us a look of sympathy. She doesn't even scold Jack for the equipment he shouldn't be fiddling between his fingers, "Sam, Jack, I think we could use a sample of your blood. She seems to have a retrovirus. We want to know how far it's spread."

"You think this has something to do with the EM field?" I ask.

Jack tries to give me his 'dumb General please explain look'. But it's so choked in sadness I hardly recognize it.

"Uh, Cassie's body is emitting low levels of electro magnet field, that is probably what made the porch light explode," I explain.

"Oh, I just figured Cassie was that great of a kisser," he says. I wish I could say it's a good sign that Jack is using humor. But the truth is it's really not. Humor is the defense he pulls out when he's worried, or depressed or being tortured. His humor isn't for the good times.

"That's exactly why Dad," Cassie says without opening her eyes, but with a slight smile on her face.

"Cassie," he says with a wide grin stepping forward.

She still doesn't open her eyes, but her brows come together in a worry crinkle, "Dad? I couldn't finish the harvest. I'm sorry."

"Hey, no problem kid, we'll just stop by the grocery store on the way home," Jack replies. His tone is light, but his face is worried. He looks at me. I shrug.

"I have to go back to the forest," she says.

"Right, we'll go to the cabin as soon as your better. That's foresty," Jack says. The lights blink, and Cassie is once again unconscious. She was back on Hanka for a second there. That's where she goes when her mind takes her somewhere subconsciously. It wasn't to the cabin, or our house, or the park. When she's delirious with fever she goes home, and I will never be home for my daughter.

I know it's stupid to be jealous of dead people. I know it's wrong to envy my daughters real parents. But that doesn't mean I can make it go away.

Later

Daniel enters, and he wouldn't even meet my eye. He's not carrying a syringe of cure so I knew it was bad, but this is probably even worse.

"Jack, Sam, there is something you're going to have to see, but you aren't going to like it," he says. He pulls a monitor away from the wall and puts in a tape, "I just finished going through SG-7's, er, reports from P8X-987,In the three months on Cassandra's planet, SG-7 witnessed 2 instances of high fever and hallucination in teenagers Cassandra's age. The villagers called it the mind fire, I found some video footage."

There is a girl who looks about fifteen or sixteen, just like my two oldest kids. She's convulsing on the grass. The members of SG-7 rush over to help. The villagers won't let them. God I hope none of those people keeping help from the girl are that girl's parents. How could parents not accept help? If Nirrti hadn't killed Cassie's parents would they have let her go through this? Would they have left her there on the grass convulsing by herself? Now I'm not jealous, now I'm just plain furious.

"Turn it off!" I shout.

"I'm sorry," Daniel says moving in front of the TV to block any more images as he flips it off. Jack walks behind me, and grabs both of my shoulders in his hands. He squeezes his hands together in something that, even after a decade of marriage he thinks is a massage. It's really more at attack by a bear with his claws filed. Still, after ten years this attack has become somewhat comforting.

"Why didn't they do anything? Why did they just leave her there?" I ask.

"SG-7 offered medicine, but the villagers insisted it was something the kids had to go through on their own. The kids would go off into the forest," Oh God, the forest Cassie was asking for, "and a few days later they came back cured."

"How?" Jack says. And I can feel that behind me he's straightened up into his soldier pose. He's ready to go out and save our daughter.

"They weren't sure; they said it was something the kid had to do on their own. It's like a religious rite or something," Daniel said.

"Religions rites don't cause fevers," I say.

"Actually there are several tribes in…" Jack shoots Daniel a glare, "Not the time for that story."

"Cassie mentioned the forest," I say quietly.

"She was delirious," Jack says skeptically.

"It's worth a try," I say trying to make my voice sound casual. But it doesn't come out that way. Instead, it comes out in a way that clearly says to Jack 'please don't take away this one hope; it's all I've got.'

"Isn't the air on Cassie's planet poisoned?" he asks.

"Non-persistent," I reply knowing I don't have to translate; he's picked up on a lot of science in the last decade of living with a scientist, "We can send a MALP just to make sure."

A few hours later

Jack went off world with the rest of his team to try to find a cure for Cassie. I stayed. I wouldn't leave her for anything. But eventually, my bladder could hold no more, and I really had to leave. When I return I see Cassie standing up. She's using her IV tree as a crutch, and is trying to hobble down the hallway.

"Hey, Cassie, what are you doing honey?" I say.

She slows down when she hears my voice, but she doesn't completely surrender, "I have to go," she says.

"Honey, you can't go right now. You're sick. We'll go when you get better," I tell her with a smile.

"I have to go into the forest!" she says angry. In her voice I can hear the voice of a rebellious teenager. Something I'm not completely a stranger too, although we have had less than our fair share with our kids.

"Just come back to bed ok, sweetie?" I say softly.

"You are not my mother," she says with all the snootiness she can muster, which is apparently a lot. Who knew? I can't breathe for a second. It's my deepest fear. That my not-quite-really-mine children would reject me. That Charlie and Cassie and Johnny would stop thinking of me as their mother. Her words stab me.

"Cassie, I love you so much," I say trying not to cry.

"You don't understand!" she screams.

I close my eyes, "Ok Cassie, just let me help you get back to bed."

"If you want to help me leave me alone, and let me go back to the forest," she spats out still trying to work her way out of my arms. She finally breaks free, and makes a run for it. I know I should run her down and catch her, but I don't have the strength for it. After the whole 'you're not my mother' thing I barely have the energy to stand. The SF's on the edge of the infirmary catch her, and are gently moving her back to her bed.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Let me go, let me go, let me go!" She says fast.

"I can't do that Cassie," I say hoping she can see the love in my eyes, and not the pain she's caused me. I don't want her to know how badly she hurt me. There is mercy in that. I am trying to protect her.

"You are killing me," she says. My stomach sinks. She can't die. This is the time when people say prayers. The only problem is I've spent half my life devoted to a science which tells me there is no one to pray to. The other half of my life I have spent trying to kill things that claim they are the sort of thing to pray to. To actually eke out a prayer is more than I can manage.

"Get better, Cassie," I mutter. It's the closest I can get, and it doesn't suffice.

Later

Jack enters the observation room where I've been watching Cassie for a few hours. She's still in a fitful feverish sleep. I'm just glad she's asleep and not on a self-destructive odyssey for a forest.

"I figured you'd be in there with her," Jack says walking into the room. His voice isn't accusatory, but since I'm accusing myself it sounds that way.

"I'm still watching her. I'm taking care of her," I snap.

He takes a step back. Literally. "That's not what I meant, Sam. I was just surprised. Did something happen?"

"She…uh…tried to get up and go to the forest," I say.

"She ok?" he asks scanning her body like the soldier he is-looking for obvious blood loss or trauma.

"She's fine," I say staring at her as she turns in her bed.

"How about you?" he says looking right at me.

"She said I wasn't her mom," I say. He's silent so long that I look at him. He's not quite a sympathetic as I would have expected.

"You're her mom, Carter," he says. He doesn't often call me Carter. He called me Carter when he was my teacher of course. Once in a while by accident in our first few months as a couple. He's probably called me Carter three times since we got married. That word is supposed to turn me from his wife to a soldier in a split second. But this time, it doesn't work.

"Jack, what she said…it hurt," he says.

"Jesus, Sam! Our daughter is sick! She's delusional. Her life is a risk. She said a typical snotty teenager thing, and you're upset. Newsflash! Teenagers are jerks. But I hope to God that girl has a chance to be a jerk to you for a few more years. Maybe even grow out of her snootiness. I tried to pretend to care that she hurt your little feelings, but you know what? You're the grown-up. Deal with it," and he stomps out of the room.

I stare in shock at the place he used to be. A minute or two later I see someone enter Cassie's room out of the corner of my eye. It's Jack. He sits down on the end of the bed and wipes some hair out of her eyes. He's talking to her even though she's asleep.

I get up and walk down to the room feeling like an idiot. When I enter there room he looks up. When he see it's me he looks back at Cassie. "I'm sorry Jack," I whisper. He doesn't glance up. I come forward, and sit on the other side of the bed, "I'm sorry Cass."

"I'm sorry too Sam, you deserved some, but not all of that," he says.

"What did you find on Cassie's planet?" I ask.

"A lab where Nirrti did experiments on the kids on that planet," he says with anger laced voice.

"A cure?" I ask.

He shrugs, "Maybe something those scientists can turn into a cure."

"I'll go see if I can help," I say standing up.

He grabs on to my arm as I try to leave, "Sam, when is the last time you ate?"

I shake my head. I can't believe he's going to mother hen me.

"Sam," he says. And there is something in his tone that reminds me of the tone I used with Cassie.

"I'll go get TWO meals from the commentary," I say pointedly. Jack may not forget to eat, but worry does make it harder for him to eat a full meal.

He smiles, "With cake?"

I try to shut the door quietly upon my return, but with all the things in my hands it slams anyway. Cassie stirs. "How are you feeling kiddo?" Jack asks.

"Why are you keeping me here?" she sounds like we've got her in a freaking prison cell.

"Your super brain was messing with the computers, Kiddo," Jack says.

"If you let me go back to the planet that wouldn't happen anymore," she says bitterly.

"I you don't let me go back to the forest I'm going to die," she shouts.

"Cassie, I've been to the place you want to go so badly. It's an abandoned lab of the Gou'ald who killed your parents, your village, your planet. The one who tried to kill you, and through you a good chunk of the people on this base. She's not even there, and if she was I sure as hell wouldn't hand you over and let her experiment on you."

Cassie is silent for a long moment, "So I'm going to die?"

"No," I say with a hell of a lot more certainty than I feel.

I'm returning from a few hours hovering over the research from Nirrti's lab. That and listening to Daniel's theory about how the torture my daughter is currently enduring is part of an evolutionary process. (The boy might know his soft sciences, but apparently he never had a good biology class where he would have learned that evolution takes millions of years). Through the open door I hear Jack and Cassie having a conversation.

"Where is Sam?" Cassie asks.

"Your MOM is trying to find a cure," he says. I hear a chess piece clinking.

"She's not my mom, my mom is dead," Cassie says.

"I know that, and Sam knows that. But we've been raising you for the past five years. She deserves your respect," his voice softens, "We love you, more than anything. We consider you our daughter. Know that." There is a pause before he continues with, "You want to move the horse?"

She doesn't respond, and I hear a gasp. I walk into the room and Jack looks at me surprised. "Cassie just moved the horse with her mind," he says.

"What?" I ask.

"He means knight," Cassie clarifies.

I wave her off, I know my husband isn't dumb like he pretends to be, and that is not my primary concern right now. "Telekinesis?" I ask looking at Cass.

"Uh, I just thought that I wanted it over here, and…there it was."

A day later

I come to spell Jack. He's been spending way too much time in the infirmary. We've moved our other kids into a VIP room on the base. We've got a complicated system of care set up between the two of us, and a very generous bunch of volunteers. Jack's had more than his share of time in the infirmary though, since I'm splitting my time between the other kids and working with Janet on a cure. Cassie is slowly spinning a chess piece in the air. He gets ups and motions me into the hall.

"Should we let her do that?" I ask.

"Try to stop her," he mutters.

"What's wrong, Jack?" I ask, knowing that he wouldn't usher me into the hallway for nothing.

"I just wanted to tell you…she doesn't mean the stuff she says. You know that right?" he says.

I wonder if she's been saying we aren't her parents again.

"She…uh…says she wants the change to happen," he says.

"Change?" I ask.

"Yeah, she thinks she's going to end up with super powers," he says.

"No, she's going to die." I say worry laced in my voice.

"Mentioned that too her, she said she didn't care," he says looking away.

"Jack, just like you said she doesn't mean it," he says.

"I just didn't think this family…this world…life, was that easy to leave," he mutters.

"Cassie doesn't want to leave us, and she isn't going to," I say hugging him. It's amazing how much comfort a hug can hold. I feel his body relax against me as soon as my arms are around him. As soon as his are around me I feel safe, and warm, and absolutely sure that my comforting words are actually true (unlike when I said them). Cassie looks up at me when I come in.

"You wouldn't leave," she says.

"I'm sorry…" I start, but she cuts me off.

"When the Gou'ald put a bomb in me you wouldn't leave. Even though your orders were to leave me you wouldn't," she says looking carefully at me.

"Yeah," I smile. This is the first good conversation we've had since she got sick.

"Why?" she asks.

"I don't know…just an instinct." I don't want to tell her I wasn't really sure she wasn't going to die. That I would rather die with her than let her die alone. That in the last moment of someone's life you are struck with ultimate certainly that no one should die alone. It's something you only know if you are facing someone else's death. It's a truth I hope she'll never have to figure out.

"That I was gonna be OK?" she asks.

"Yeah, I think so." I don't usually lie to my kids, but right now she needs hope more than she needs truth.

"But you didn't know for sure," she says with eyes like Zatarc detectors.

"No," I admit.

"Well, … that's how I feel about what's happening to me now. Do you understand?" She asks.

I sigh. I hate having your kids grow up enough that you have to trust them. Trust them to make the right decision right when the decisions begin to count for so much. "Yeah, I think I do. You want me to stay with you for a while?"

"No, it's not time yet," she says. It makes my stomach hurt to think of her waiting for death.

"Don't say that."

"Well, when it is…time…will you be here?" she asks.

"I promise," I say smiling.

"I'll sleep now," she says.

"Ok," I say settling down in the not so comfortable infirmary chairs.

Later

An airman comes into my lab looking apologetically at the same time he looks panicked. "Ma'am, there is a Gou'ald on base."

"What?" I ask.

"Yeah, uh, Nirriti," he offers.

"What?" I say with venum in my voice.

"Uh…she's looking for your daughter," he says.

I start running. "General O'Neill is with her Ma'am," I hear the airman say as I run down the hallway. When I burst into the room I see shattered glass.

"It's over," Jack says, "They caught her."

"Dad caught her," Cassie says.

I give Cassie a quick kiss, and spin on my heals toward the brig. Jack grabs my arm, and my stomach falls. God, he knows what I'm going to do. He's going to stop me. But he just pulls the gun out of the holster and hands me a zat, "we need her alive Sam," he says.

There she is. The woman who murdered Cassie's parents, siblings, family, friends, and geez her whole planet! This is the woman who put a bomb in my baby girl. Who used her whole planet as a lab rat. Now she's gonna save Cassie.

I level the zat on her head.

"Major Carter, this isn't necessary. I've already struck a deal. She will heal Cassie for her freedom."

"How do I know you will keep your word?" the Gou'ald asks.

"I'd like to inform you that the person holding a gun on your head is Cassandra's mother." And I am. No matter what Cassie thinks I'm her mother if for no other reason than the fact that I'm here. Here to keep Cassie alive.

As we watch a Gou'ald walk through the gate I mutter to Jack. "Did we do the right thing?"

"Cassie's alive," he says. And I don't regret a thing.


	12. Cabin Fever

September 2000

Gran's Cabin

Cassie and Charlie are having a pretty spirited dunk fight in the lake. It's the middle of September, which probably means this is the last swim of the year. Minnesota gets cold fast. Usually the last swim would have happened earlier. Sam and I aren't the kind of people who take our kids out of school just for a few days at the cabin, and it's far too long a drive for a weekend. But after we nearly lot Cassie to the whole 'mind fire' thing we all needed a few days away together.

Davie and Johnny think they are in on the dunk fight. Every once in a while one of their older siblings pretends to fail at catching them, or eases them gently into the water. But Cassie and Charlie are going easy on them. Johnny may be healed by his Tok'ra, Ja'bar, but he's still medically fragile. Davie is strong for his age, but he is still only nine to their sixteen and fifteen. So the big kids are letting them off easy while being careful not to let them know they are doing it. Besides, each of the big kids have a single minded focus on taking the other one down.

Dunk fight are pretty hard to win in our lake. At its deepest point it does to the middle of my chest. Granted, our kids are smaller than me, but not by that much. Our kids are all big for their ages. Just one of the millions of ways they take after both Sam and I, even the ones who aren't genetically related to us at all.

Another reason why it's almost impossible to dunk someone in the lake, is the mud. It's soft and sticky. Once your feet get planted in that stuff it pretty much takes a force of nature to move them. Yet every time you move a cloud of that stuff comes up, and makes it impossible to see anything underwater.

The real reason for the stalemate (neither of the big kids has been dunked yet) is our kids themselves. They are strong, and they are smart (what did I tell you about taking after the parents they aren't even related to?) It's like a game of chess out there, and I'm pretty sure I saw some Jaffa marshal arts' moves as well as some moves no one outside of special forces are supposed to know (I'm trying to remember if it's my fault of Sam's that they know those moves).

I take the lawn chair next to Sam's and continue watching the show. As I sit down Sam glances at Gracie in my arms. Sam reaches for her, tightens the adorably tiny baby lifejacket (not that it is really necessary, so not letting this kid fall in the water),and hands her back. The whole time Sam's eyes barely leave the battle in the middle of the lake.

Suddenly I realize my wife's perception of this is completely different than mine. Four days ago Cassie had a dangerously high fever, hallucinations, and a death wish (or a transformation wish as it were). Right now as Sam watches her daughter wrestle, she's terrified. Sam wants Cassie out of the water. Safe. But she's not ordering Cassie to dry land. If she did no one would blame her. Cassie probably wouldn't even complain.

But Sam knows there is actually nothing wrong with what is going on. That this is just harmless fun. No one is getting hurt, and Cassie isn't really in danger. So she's sitting there in terror so her daughter can have a little bit of fun.

God I love this woman.

I wonder if our kids will all inherit her courage. I hope so. She's got it in spades.

I give her hand a squeeze. She looks at me with a question in her eyes. I give her a comforting smile. She looks at me for a full ten seconds before glancing back to her daughter.

Johnny pulls himself up on the dock. He's still ridiculously weak. I remember how we thought he was malnutritioned when we first meet him. He still looks like he is. I wonder if people think we're starving him when we go places. Lord knows it's the opposite. We beg and plead for him to eat. Still the kid isn't dying, and he is getting stronger all the time.

"Ja'bar informs me this battle is rigged in my favor," he says.

Sam has to swallow a giggle at the language (he talked weird enough, before we put a snake in his head) before she says, "They don't want to hurt you."

"My symbiot has made me strong," he says with his chin jutting out in pride.

"Of course, it has," I say diplomatically, "What your mother meant to say is they were afraid you might hurt them with your awesome amazing super powers."

He grins, "Your lies delight," he says standing. Then he gets a wicked grin on his face. I know what that means. Johnny doesn't hide things well. I figure I'm safe though, because after all I am holding his baby sister.

I'm wrong. He sits down on my lap, and gives me a big wet hug.

"That means war," I say. I stand up, hand Grace to Sam, slip off my shoes, pull my shirt over my head, and slip everything in my pockets' to Sam.

Johnny is starting at the proceedings unsure of what my next move is going to be. Sam doesn't have any questions, "Don't you dare splash me," she warns.

I grab Johnny around the waist, and jump over the edge before he even realizes what is going on. I feel bad about not giving him warning as he breaks the surface of the water. I can see that he got a mouth full of cold muddy water. This is REALLY unpleasant I can assure you. But he doesn't complain he just giggles. Then his eyes light up.

"I dunked Dad!" He proclaims.

The splashing in the middle of the lake dies down and all of my children have their eyes locked on me. They are looking for a confirmation or a denial.

"He did not dunk me," I say my pride winning out over me trying to make the kid feel good about himself. Hey, I'm human. I was not dunked by a scrawny twelve year old alien. I'm a General in the Air Force for God's sake.

"Your head was under water," Johnny points out.

"Sound like a dunk to me," Charlie says laughing. Drat that child, he knows perfectly well his brother did not dunk me. But he's enjoying this all the same.

"Dunking Dad deserves a victory lab," Cassie says swimming over (yes, she swims even though she can touch). She puts her brother on her shoulders. He's tiny for his age, but he's still big to be carried like that. I'm sure Sam is freaking out about Cassie's neck right now. But it's a party, the other two have fallen in behind. They are doing something between a dance and a parade.

"He did NOT dunk me," I mutter though no one is listening. I look up at Sam. She's laughing at me so hard she's forgotten to worry. Worth it.

October 2000

What possessed me to buy a trivia game? I thought, this will be fun. Games like that are fun for normal families. Families that aren't crazy competitive. Families that don't contain kids a mix of super genius as regular human beings. Families that don't rewrite cards they believe are in error. Remind me to hide the magic markers before the next game night.

I'm trying to figure out who is going to win. Defiantly not me, even if I chose to stop playing dumb, which isn't going to be happening anytime soon. It's not going to be Cassie or Charlie either. Both of those kids are smart, but like normal human smart. It could very well be Sam. It wouldn't be surpassing since she's had the most years to acquire knowledge of our three super geniuses. Of course it could also be Davy. He's hampered by his inability to sit still for more than one question, of course. But despite that he has worked his way through fifth grade work, the equivalent of skipping two grades. Then of course there is Johnny. The kid is smart on his own, but he's got that 1,000 year old snake (I take back the thing about Sam having the most years to acquire knowledge).

The only chance the other one's have is that the snake doesn't know anything particular to earth history.

"Jack," Sam says with a grin, "You're thinking too loudly." She's using my own words against me.

December 2000

Sam's voice sounds weird on the phone, "Jack, Janet won't let me come home." From the way she phrased that if I didn't know any better I'd have taken Janet for a prison guard instead of a doctor.

"Why not?" she asks.

"She says I need to rest," she says this with a note of disgust, like the doctor was suggesting something truly awful like shots or torture devices.

"'Kay, and where did she get that obviously ridiculous idea from?" I ask. There is a long pause. Shit, something is really wrong.

"Uh…I might have sort of temporarily lost consciousness on that planet," she mutters barely audibly.

"You passed out Sam?"

"Maybe," she says.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Uh…Janet says nothing is wrong. I'm just tired," she says with resentment clear in her voice.

"Are you pregnant?" I ask befuddled. The only time Sam sleeps is when she's pregnant, so I figured if she's passing out that might be the reason.

"No, Jack," she says bitterly.

"Ok, sorry, I was just trying to figure this out. Even when you don't have sleep you don't pass out. It doesn't make sense that this is from stress," I say.

"Right, I agree. I'm furious at this whole sit down and rest thing. Like I'm some woman from the eighteen hundreds being lowered onto a fainting couch, because my corset is too tight," she says sarcastically.

"And I just made that better," I said catering to her tone.

"Right," she said.

"But it still doesn't make sense. You passed out for no reason?" I say.

"Guess so," she says.

"Well, I'll be there in a bit. Uhh…Charlie is at the library, but Cassie is here, so…" I mutter.

"No, Jack. You don't need to come. I'm fine. The only reason you should come if you are going to spring me from this prison cell!" Form the pointed way she says the last couple of words I can tell that Janet has entered the room at just that moment.

"Sam, we're married, when you are sick, I show up. That is how it works," I say.

"That is a great theory Jack, but I'm not actually sick."

"You don't want me there?" I ask a little hurt.

She signs, "Jack, she wants me to rest. No reason for you to suffer."

"She wants you to rest from me?" I ask.

"No…" she says slowly.

"She wants you to rest from your whole family," I clarify.

"Gonna rescue me, Jack?" she asks.

"Nope, instead I'll ask the doctor if she can include a breakfast in bed," I say with a grin.

"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack," she protests.

"Take a bubble bath in the VIP room. Watch TV. Sleep eight…no ten hours," I say.

"You are as bad as Janet!" she protests.

"I love you, I'll see you tomorrow," I say.

"Jack, Cass and Charlie have a history report due tomorrow. Cass is behind, and Charlie erroneously thinks he's finished."

"I'll take care of it."

"And Gracie has started eating solid food…" she begins.

"Uh yeah…I was the one behind the camera when she took her first bite, remember Sam?" I ask.

"Right…you've done the single parent thing," she says and there is pain in her voice. I want to protect her.

"It's been a long time since I did the single parent thing," I say.

"You did it last year," she says bitterly.

"Sam they do need their mother. But they need their mother healthy. Not passing out on them."

"Right," she says. "If I'm not home tomorrow you'll come fight Janet for me right?"

"Sure, I'd fight for you Sam," I say.

Two days later

"Jack!" Sam screams. I'm desperately trying to get all the kids ready for school. Sam is back. She's got health clearance, but also the day off. I figure that means I'll worry about the kids for one more day. But there I something in her voice which sends me scurrying.

When I enter the room she glances at me, "Good, now could you tell this guy to get the hell away from your wife and out of your house. He's seriously creeping me out," she says.

"Uh…I'd be glad to Sam, where is he?" I ask.

She stares at empty space, and then at me, "Not the time for jokes, Jack."

My stomach falls. Shit. This is more than stress, "Sweetheart, there is no one in this room, but me and you."

"And the creepy guy who talked to me when I went to get the paper, and then appeared in our house," he says. She turns to the empty space. "Well how come!" She demands angrily.

"Who are you talking to?" I ask.

"Some alien who followed me off that planet,' she says gesturing toward an empty patch of air.

"Sam?" I say. Nuts. Clearly my wife has gone nuts. I should have listened when she said he didn't want to adopt every kid in the universe. I should have insisted on more vacation. I should have convinced her to get professional help instead of thinking her crying on my shoulder two times a year would fix her.

She locks her eyes on me, "Jack, do you trust me?" she asks.

"More than anything," I say.

"Ok, well I've seen some crazy stuff in my life. Crazy stuff on the other end of the stargate. I'm not exactly sure what is going on. All I know is there is some alien in this room who chooses to only appear to me. He is not the weirdest thing to come through that gate. I'm not nuts," she says.

I wonder if all nuts people say that. I wonder if I can believe her.

"He's an alien?" I ask uncertainly.

She turns toward the nothingness for a bit. Really, unnerving. "He says he ascended leaving his physical form and became pure energy," she explains.

"Uh…ok?" I say. I have come to understand a lot of what Sam says. Especially with the help of her annotated (and illustrated) books. But this sounds like complete nonsense to me.

"Do you know Oma Dasala? She's a friend of a friend," Sam asks the air. Ok, so this thing is like the glowly girl that Daniel made friends with on a mission. But Oma wasn't invisible. Disembodied yes, invisible no.

"Oh," Sam says after a long pause.

"Uh, invisibility translating, please," I say.

"Right, sorry, Jack. He doesn't know her, but he's been alone on that planet for a long time. He was exiled."

Great, lonely guy my wife describes as creepy and who only appears to her. Sam looks at him surprised.

"Uh, Jack he wants to apologize. He is going to…ah…let you see him if you don't freak out," she says.

"Ok," I say. A guy appears before me. He's not at all what I expected. First of all he's pretty solid looking. And really normal looking. I mean he's human, rather average and mundane looking, dressed in average even boring clothes.

"Hi," I say.

"Hi," he says mimicking my smile exactly which is –creepy.

"And you are?" I ask.

"Orlin," he say with another unnerving smile, "I apologize. When I saw your wife on the planet I was on I did not realize she had mated. I attempted to share my essence with her which caused her to faint. I would not have attempted this had I known she was pair bonded to another."

Shit! Did he knock her out and rape her? If so I'll kill him. Bodiless energy or no.

I look at Sam. She has no idea what he's talking about, so at least she doesn't remember it.

I take a step toward him-making it clear that this is a challenge, "What did you do to my wife?" I ask. Sam is no damsel in distress, but right now she seems pretty happy to have me between him and her.

"My kind has a way of sharing who you are with each other. She was unprepared, and could not take it," Orlin says.

"You read my mind?" Sam asks sounding scandalized.

"Just her mind?" I ask glaring at him.

"Not her mind exactly," he says. I'm thinking I probably can't actually hurt the guy, because if I could he'd be flinching right now. "It's something deeper. Your emotions, your soul, who you are. It's not like we are thinking the same thing that you are. That would be an invasion of privacy."

"Well, you should probably get people's permission before you hack their souls," I say. But I am so relieved that he was interested in her soul.

"I was alone for so long, thousands of years," he says with a sigh.

"Jack," Sam says with a sigh, "We have to figure out what we are going to do with the alien."

"Call the SGC," I say. Duh!

"You think they are going to believe us?" Sam says.

"I will not reveal myself until they are all gone," Orlin says with his arms crossed. Great an invisible alien with the tenacity of a two-year old. Just what we need.

"Just what exactly do you want, Orlin?" I ask.

"You cannot turn on the device," he says.

I tilt my head toward Sam, "On the planet. There was a…" she pauses.

"Device," Orlin supplies, but from her face I can tell that wasn't exactly the word she'd been looking for.

"A really big, really old, really advanced device that…" Sam says looking at him pointedly.

"Must not be turned on," Orlin adds.

"You are going to have to give us more than that, buddy," I say. His face lights up at the word buddy. I feel the part of my heart that has a soft spot for the neglected and orphaned lighting up. Great, just what I need, fatherly feelings for some alien that has been around longer than my civilization.

"It I dangerous," Orlin says.

"Big honking space gun?" I ask. I am so glad the man made himself visible, because I can tell by his face that I am right. I am so right! "Good job Sammy, you found something that could kick some major Gou'ald ass!" I say with a grin, "So why shouldn't we blow up some mother ships with this thing?" I ask Orlin. But I'm willing to listen. Being alive for thousands of years presumably takes intelligence.

"It's broken," Orlin says. Oh, I could win a lot of money playing poker with this man.

"You can fix it though?" Sam says. Orlin doesn't make a sound, "You are the one who broke it aren't you?" she asks. Orlin's face is doing the talking again. "Also the one who built it for those people so the Gou'ald wouldn't attack them."

"Sounds like a pretty noble thing to do. Kinda makes me like you," I say. Might as well use his this whole desperate for approval thing he's got going on. Even though it sort of makes me feel dirty.

"It caused a lot of death," he says looking down.

"Gou'ald death? 'Cause I'm a big fan of that," I say.

"I broke the rules by advancing their technology to that level. The gun worked. The people were saved. But then the others stepped in. They destroyed the whole society, and left me on that planet to guard the ruins for the rest of my life. I destroyed the machine so that no one else would suffer the same fate," he says.

"If you destroyed it why are you worried about us turning it on?" Sam asks.

Both Orlin and I turn to stare at her.

"What?" she asks.

"He saw inside of your mind Sam, he knows you can fix it," I say.

She blushes crimson.

"I had not counted on anyone of your intelligence coming to the planet," he says. That's right. My wife is smart enough to surprise disembodied aliens.

"Ok, so we won't turn it on," I say.

"Uh…Jack…they're planning on turning it on," Sam says.

"Of course, they are," I say running my hand through my hair. Shit. Now what?

"Jack, we both saw him, if we tell them…" Sam beings.

Orlin cuts her off, "You can't tell them about me.

"It's our best shot at getting them to stop trying to figure out that thing," I say to him.

"Or…" Sam says. We both look at her, she blushes, "You said I was probably the only one who could turn it on?" Orlin nods, "So what if I didn't help. Or rather…what if I sabotaged it a little… but them on the wrong path. Eventually they are going to give up on it."

"Yeah, you could assign Lee and Fledger to it, not a chance in hell it will ever fire another shot, after they touch it," I add.

She give me a glare.

"What will to become of me?" Orlin asks.

"Well, you can't just float around the planet," I say thinking of all the trouble he could get into.

"I can retake a temporal form," he says. I glance at Sam.

"Uh…turn his energy back into a body," she says.

"Wouldn't that decrease your life expectancy a little?" I ask.

"Long life is not a blessing if you have nothing to live for. I have been alone for so long…I would like not to be alone anymore," he says.

I look at Sam. I know that it probably won't do any good to try to communicate without talking. I don't know how good his 'mind reading' abilities are. But if he can read a mind, I'm pretty sure he can read pointed facial expressions. I need to know what her thoughts on me invited a really old alien she described as creepy to live with us for a bit is going to be. She gives me the nod.

"Look, if you want to give up the whole ascended thing and live on earth. We could probably help you make that happen," I say.

He look from one to other, and he smiles. I'm telling you-every orphan in the galaxy. Need not actually be human, or a child to apply.

March 2000

Ever since Daniel told me about the alliance of the four races I've been picturing what it would be like to actually meet them. Since then I've actually run into a couple of the actual races. We meet the Asguard not long after I came to Stargate command, and they've had contact with the Nox for decades. Now the Ancients, that was the race that I was most excited to meet. I mean come on, these people built the Stargates.

Ayiana was not what I expected. Then again who could have expected frozen, millions of year old girl with a freaky disease and the even freakier ability to heal people with her glowy hands?

Damn that disease. Not that I blame the girl. I mean she's been frozen in ice for how a couple of million years. We think she's dead. So we chop off a hunk of her shoulder to test. Then we thaw her out and realize, oh crap she's alive! Then she passes on this disease. When she realizes what she's done she heals us. Heals us until she dies. Too bad she didn't get to me. Damn me and my selfish thoughts.

"Jack," Sam says stroking my cheek through her thick gloves.

I try to focus on her. But my eyes are having trouble settling, especially through her hazmat suit. I try to think of something profound to say, after all there is a pretty good chance this is going to be the last conversation I ever have with my wife. Short of something profound, I can hope for something funny.

But I'm not sure I can even talk.

"Jack, there is a Tok'ra who needs a host," she begins.

I shake my head, "No snake," I can defiantly get speech out to avoid being taken hostage in my own body.

"It would just be temporary. Kanan was on a mission, and they are sure he has some very important information he can't pass on without a host. He would enter you, heal you, and leave as soon as they were able to find another host."

God, I've told Sam this I my worse fear. Why would she even ask? "No snake!" I say my voice sounding desperate, although not nearly as desperate as I felt.

"Jack," she says, and she glances away for a second in a vain attempt to get control of her emotions, "Jack, I don't want you to die. Please."

I'd give my life for Sam, easy. This is a lot harder. But in the end, you don't really love someone unless you are willing to face the thing you fear the most, way more than death, for them.

"Tem'rary?" I ask again just to be sure.

She nods, "I'll make sure you come back to me, rest assured fly boy," he says brushing my hand which is somehow even more comforting with that glove.

"'Kay," I mutter.

It feels like it's only seconds later, but I have a feeling it's been a lot longer than that. I'm face down on the ground, and I haven't the slightest idea why. There is grass, but it smells different than earth grass. Alien plants may all look like earth plants, but they do have weird smells, probably why they are so hard on poor Danny's allergies. The next thing I realize is that I don't feel sick anymore. I do a quick mental check, but don't seem to have another person inside of my brain. By the time I've determine that I feel people dragging my ass of the ground. I look back fully expecting either my team or my family.

Damn it Jaffa!

Ok, this prison cell is defiantly the most unusual I've ever experienced. I mean I've been in a couple of really unique prisons in my time, but this one is by far the most unique. They have you walk in the thing, and suddenly the ceiling is a wall, and the wall becomes the floor. Besides being really disorienting, it's a pretty good prevention of an escape. After the weird switch takes places the door is actually above your head. I feel like I'm in one of those really cheesy Fred Astair movies where he dances with a hat rack on some ceiling. Except, I really don't feel like dancing.

I look up at the place that was the door until a few seconds ago, and which is now serving as the ceiling. The Jaffa are leaving. If this was a team mission Daniel would be telling us which Gou'ald took us right now. Ok, I can do this. Horn tattoo. Ball? Close enough. Now what happened?

Sam had memories left over from when Jolinar was inside of her. If I'm healed, because of a Tok'ra I should have memories left over. I search my mind, but all I come up with is a faded memory scrap of a woman saying, "Is it you?"

Yeah, I'm me, but who the hell are you? I think. Of course, she is probably asking if I'm the snake that used to be inside of my head. What was that snake's name? Cannon?

Then suddenly, the ceiling is a door, and the floor the wall. I right myself to then new environment. A few henchman grab me and drag me to room where an overdressed Gou'ald walks in. Eyes flashing, voice deep, all the stereotypical things.

"I am Ba'al," he announces.

Got the name right. Now, for the hard part what does he want? "What do you want from me?"

"You were with the Tok'ra Kanan," he says. Well, I was pretty close on that name as well.

"I don't remember," I say.

"You were blended with him. His mind is your mind," he says.

"Yeah, I don't think the blending worked," I mutter. I defiantly haven't accessed the memories if they are there.

"None the less you will remember," he says. He puts me up against a wall that was like a spider net. Maybe I'll call him Charlotte. It's always best to make the person who is torturing you ridiculous in your mind. He takes some liquid out of a container with something that looks like an eye dropper. He points it right toward me and squeezes. I'm about to laugh at the absurdity of the thing. I mean the thing isn't going to make it more than half a foot before it drops to the ground. But the gravity is weird in here just like it was in the prison cell. The drop of liquid falls toward me, just like it was falling down. Down is always toward me.

When the acid hits me (for as soon as I feel it I know it is acid) all other thoughts fly from my head. If Ba'al is trying to get information from me this way it's not going to work. Even if I had known when this started I wouldn't have known when it was done. It's the kind of pain which makes you forget everything. It's the kind of pain which makes you wish you were dead if you can form a thought at all.

The pain clears and for one second my mind is clear. I see Sam. I don't want to die.

Another drop of acid strikes my chest, and the pain drives that lone sane thought from my head. In an effort to distract myself from the pain, I count the drops: one, two, three, four, five. But the pain is too great for me to keep the count going beyond that. The pain goes on for a long time after I have stopped counting.

It's cold. Cold and misty. Breath enters my lungs forcefully. It reminds me of commercials where they stick a shoe horn down someone's throat to reflate them after they've been run over. As the breath forces itself into my lungs I sit up and open my eyes. I may not have been flattened like a cartoon pancake, but I'm reasonably sure that I was dead. Damn Gou'ald and there torture. But at least I'm still alive, or rather alive again. As long as I am alive there is a chance that I am going to be saved.

They take me back to the prison cell. I lay down. Dying and being revived takes a lot out of you. I rest my body, but my mind is working fast and furious. I'm not sure why I'm so desperate to figure out the secret of the thing which shared my body, but I am. If I figure out the secret will I revel it? I wouldn't like to think I'm the kind of person who betrays and ally, even one who has betrayed him, but I might not have a choice. That torture was pretty bad, and it looks like it's only the first round.

"Is it you?" the phantom girl asks. I'm examining her face, looking for a memory. I see the henchman coming behind her. I should get up, readjust, prepare for the room to be flipped this way and that, but I just don't care.

This time it is knives and dramatic speeches. I still can't tell him, but this time I'm defiant. Not only can't I tell him, but I won't. Take that.

When I was a kid I had pneumonia. It was a nasty case, and I lost a whole month of a particular fine summer to it. I got so used to that heavy chest that I thought that was all there was to life. Then one morning I woke up, and I was healthy, gloriously healthy. I felt more alive than I ever had. Like all the rest of life was a dress rehearsal. Like most of the world was filled with zombies, and I was one of the lucky few who held the true secret to life in my hands.

Coming out of the sarcophagus is like that, but like that multiplied. It frightened me that it was so familiar. It terrified me that it was so pleasant. Not exhilarating like drugs, but pleasant like a well worn robe. Like something with which you could learn to live. Like something that could steal my soul.

I tried to hate it, but I couldn't. Sam was going to save me, and I was going to see my kids again.

I barely had time for another attempt at figuring out who the girl was before I was pulled out of my prison cell again. This was a particularly slow death. This time he used little darts dipped in….dipped in something very painful, but not very harmful. It was hours and hours before I began to droop.

This time when I woke up in the sarcophagus I didn't want to be there. I was done with this game. This wasn't going to be over anytime soon. It was becoming clear that I was either going home in a body bag or as someone my family would not recognize. I wanted to pick the first one.

Even if it wasn't for the sarcophagus I would never return to the person that I was before. I'd been tortured before. Torture changes a person. Being tortured to death again and again.

Damn it! I didn't even know!

"Jack," I feel Sam's hand on my face, and I think there should be a glove on it. I'm can't remember why.

I try to say her name, but I feel like another name is going to come out. I close my mouth to keep it from escaping. What the hell? I would never cheat on Sam. It must be a thousand degrees in here.

"Are you hot, Jack?" she says pulling some blankets off my legs, and placing a cold wet wash cloth on my head. I've never felt anything so amazing in all of my life. I'd make some joke about her calling me hot if I could manage words. I open my eyes and look at her. She smiles at me. She sees something in my eyes.

"You don't remember do you?" I can't answer her with anything but my eyes, but that's enough. "You got sick. The Tok'ra Kanan entered you. He took over your body and went back to a base to rescue a girl who helped him. Took your body along for the ride. You were captured. I…uh…We're not sure what happened to you after that."

I look away.

"But we know it wasn't good," she says. I try to give her a smile, "I'm so sorry Jack. I can't imagine what you've been through. Can you tell us how many time you were in the sarcophagus though?"

I think really hard. I can't force my mind to behave itself. I shake my head. She gives me a sip of water as she asks.

"More than once?" she asks.

I nod.

"More than five times?"

I nod.

"More than ten?"

I'm really not sure. I try to nod and shrug at the same time. She looks away. She's trying to hide the fact that she's crying. I grap her hand. The water has made my mouth hurt a little bit less. I think I can even manage speech now.

"'sokay, Sam," I manage.

She smiles, "You're the one that just went through hell. I'm supposed to be comforting you," she says.

"Not, So'kar, Ba'al," I say.

She grins, "How can you make a joke about being reputedly tortured to death?" she asks.

I smile at her.

"I know, this is your way of dealing with it."

I'm shivering. I'm about to tell her. But she already knew. She's wrapping the discarded blankets around me.

"Kids?" I ask. I'm not sure how long I've been gone. I know it was at least a few weeks, but there was no son where Ba'al had me. For all I know the kids are all grown-up and I've missed it all.

"They are doing great," she says. She takes a thumb and straightens out the worry crinkle that has formed between my eyebrows, "You were gone for about a month. Not that much has changed. We let them all come in and look at you through the observation room earlier today. I'm trying to talk Janet into a short visit for later today, but I think I'm losing that battle.

"The girl?" I ask.

She looks at me confused for a while. "We got her out safely," she says. Now her forehead is crinkled. Crap! She probably thinks Kanan left his love for that girl in her mind.

"Couldn't remember…Ba'al wanted me to tell. Didn't know…" I'm trying to make her understand with the fewest words possible.

"Jack, I've had a Tok'ra in my head. If there is something…some feelings for this girl, you could tell me. I had feelings for Martolf, they are long gone. I wouldn't be mad," she says. Of course, she wouldn't be mad at me for things that I couldn't help. But she would be hurt. Hurt like I had been. I'd lie even if I did have feelings of love for the girl I couldn't really remember. Actually, I'm not even sure Kanan was in love with him. It might have been more of a 'never leave a man behind' kind of thing. Something he learned from me.

"Only love my Sammy," I say.

She grins, "Take a nap, Jack," she says kissing the top of my head. I think I will.

I sit up with a start, and breathe. But there isn't any air. I panic. No, there is air, but it's not like it's supposed to be. What was I expecting? Sarcophagus force breath. No, this is the way air is supposed to be. It's supposed to be work to breath.

Someone is touching me. God! The damned Jaffa grabbing me to put me back on Ba'al's web. I leap away from the touch.

"It's ok, Jack," Sam's voice says.

How did he get Sam? No, he can't hurt her! I'm up, trying to find the Jaffa. Trying to keep them away from Sam.

But there are no Jaffa. It's just me and Sam in our bedroom. I've been off that damned planet for the better part of two weeks. The worse of the sarcophagus addiction is gone (although I may never really enjoy breathing ever again, it's just…empty). They say I'm recovered. The sarcophagus took away my scars, but only the physical ones.

But I'm alive. I'm alive, and still have my soul in tack. At least I hope so. That thing did change me.


	13. Robbing the Cradle

March 2001

O'Neill house

I love waking up next to Jack. I feel his arm slowly pull me snug against his body. I know he's still asleep. He does his best cuddling while he's still asleep. Usually his body feels big, warm, and strong. Today it feels different. I'm not sure what is different. I turn to look at him.

Holy Hannah! That is not Jack!

"Who are you!" I shout jumping out of bed, and dragging along some covers. I never thought of my pajamas as skimpy before, but I've also never been snuggled by a strange teenager.

"What's wrong with you Sam?" The teenager asks, too groggy to be moved by my terror.

"What's wrong with me?" I ask scandalized, "What the," but he is a teenager so, "heck are you doing in my house! And where is my husband?"

The teenager blinks at me in confusion, "I'm your husband, Sam," he says. And I see it-those eyes which I haven't seen anywhere but on Jack and his three genetic kids, that look he wears when he's really confused and not just playing "dumb general", the cock of the head, the strange way his hair lays when he's just woken up. He's my husband. Which means I'm married to a fourteen year old. God! He looks younger than two of our kids!

"Jack?" I ask uncertainly.

"How many husbands do you have?" he asks closing his eyes. "Come back to bed Sam."

"No way!" I exclaim. So not getting into bed with that—child. I'm really hoping this is not permanent.

"What is with you?" Jack asks.

"I think you'd better have a look in the mirror," I say. He grunts, and groans, and stretches. Then he does that thing where he rubs his knee with his elbow while pretending he is not rubbing his knee. He still thinks I don't know how much his knees hurt him. Idiot! But I'm thinking he's doing it out of habit this morning, his knees can't possibly be hurting him! Finally he's up, and wandering into the bathroom.

He glances into the mirror without turning the light on. His hand is halfway to the light switch before he catches sight of himself. His hand freezes there, unmoving. I flip it the light on. He stares at the mirror, and looks at me in horror.

"I assume that's what you looked like…" I begin.

"Thirty some years ago!" He finishes.

"Jack what happened?" I ask

"You are asking me?" He exclaims. "You're the one who figures these things out!" He's a half step way to hysterical.

"Ok Jack, you go help the kids get ready. I'll call Janet to let her know…" I begin.

"To prepare the big honking needles," he says bitterly.

Before I think I lean over, and kiss his forehead like I do to our kids. It was an instinctual reaction. He was freaking out. He needed comfort. That's how I give comfort to people who are the age of my children. When I pull away I see my mistake. His face is screwed up with half suppressed emotion.

"I'm not your kid, Sam," he says gloomily.

"I know…I'm sorry," I say. I want to fix it. But I can't think of any words that would do that, and I am so not about to actually kiss this kid on the lips. I'd feel like a pedophile.

"This had better not last," he mutters as he stomps out of the room. Crap! He's _acting_ like a fourteen year old, or maybe not, maybe Jack would stomp out of the room anyway. Hard to tell.

Cassie and Charlie are laughing hysterically as I walk into the kitchen ten minutes later.

"Sit down!" Jack bellows pouring cereal into bowels.

"Dad…" Cassie says between her giggles, but that's all she can get out. Tears are streaming down her face from the laughing.

"…You're younger than us!" Charlie says.

As soon as I see Jack's face I can tell I really need to keep the laugh inside. He's lost authority with the kids, and he's not a happy camper.

"Jack, I'll get this, you get Gracie ready, ok?" I say. I realize my mistake a minute later. Gracie is right at the stage where she hates strangers. Her wailing reminds me that her dad has just become a stranger to her.

I run in to help. This is obviously not what Jack expected. He's doing this rocking thing, while he pleads, "Gracie, it's Daddy. Shh, baby, it's Daddy, Gracie girl." And there are big tears running down his cheeks. If I take her now, and she shuts up it will kill him. So I just leave. I nag the other children into getting them and out the door.

You would never guess that Jack has had a crappy morning as he loads the still leery though no longer bawling baby into the van.

"What's wrong, Grace?" Cassie asks. Oh, stupid question girl. I'm trying to think of something to distract from the question.

"She just had a tough wake-up," Jack says gruffly.

We drop off two kids at the high school, and one at Sha're's house, and one at Catherine's (the woman has her own grandkids, but that doesn't stop her from running an SGC daycare, and treating all the babies as her own). Then we head to the base.

"You ok?" I ask.

"Fine," he says, and his voice cracks as he talks. God puberty! Bet he is really hoping he doesn't have to go through that again.

Later that day

"Well, it is General O'Neill," Janet says with a sigh laying the papers on the briefing room table, "His DNA matches that which we have on file except for a small anomaly."

"How small?" Daniel asks. I can tell what he's thinking. Daniel may be a genius, but apparently he was translating hieroglyphics during science class. He thinks age is in DNA! No, Jack had the exact same DNA ever since he was a millisecond old and single-celled. Jack may pretend to be stupid, but he knows that. Although Jack couldn't translate all the languages Daniel could (although if my husband stopped playing dumb Daniel could speak to him in his native tongue, Jack does know Arabic after all) but Jack does know a lot more about science than Daniel, particularly astrophysics.

"Well within the margin of error," Janet replies.

"And I've shrunk, because…" Jack prompts.

"Uh, we're not sure on that, sir. All of your blood work seems to have come back normally," she says.

"So no robots deaging me?" he asks. It sounds like a stupid question. But it's not. If there are nanites out there that can make McKay get old really fast, why couldn't there be something that could make Jack get younger.

"No, sir," Janet says.

"Ok then, alien virus?" I guess. That is by far the go to explanation of all the weird stuff that goes on around this place.

"Possibly, but not anything we've seen, and his white blood cell count isn't elevated. So if he does have something his body doesn't know, and isn't fighting it."

"I don't feel sick," Jack offers with a shrug.

"He hasn't even been off world for months," I offer, "Do you think it's something someone else gave it to him?"

"No one else is demonstrating symptoms. I don't think we're looking at virus. I just don't know what we're looking at yet," Janet says. She wouldn't say something like that to just anyone. She usually pretends to have everything together, everything figured out. But she's my best friend, and I know that she quite often does not have it all together, and all figured out.

I mean most of this woman's job consists of diagnosing and curing unknown diseases and injuries. And she's great at it. She can take an out of control off world epidemic and cure it in a week flat. It's what she does.

But right now she knows nothing, and she tells us as much. I feel honored that she trusts us that much. But Jack is annoyed. I can't tell if it's a normal adult Jack annoyed or if his new body is influencing his actions.

A few hours later

I rarely take a lunch break. That breaks up the momentum of work way too much. Usually I just send a grunt to the commentary for sandwich and some jello. But today I figure Jack could use a lunch companion. I enter the briefing room, and catch a few airmen laughing. They stop as I walk in. Oh, Jack is so not getting a lot of respect as a commanding officer. Poor thing! The only thing that would hurt his pride more is my sympathy for him, so I try to wipe it off my face before entering his office.

"How is it going Jack?" I ask.

"Damn, incompetent, wanta be warrior, troglodytic morons…" he mutters.

"Troglodytic?" I ask.

"Troglodite-cave dweller," he says looking at me with sincerity as he says it.

"I know what it means, it's just funny coming from…" I stop myself just in time, "A General."

"A fourteen year old, Sam?" she asks.

"Maybe," I say, "Although I should be used to it with Davy and Jonny. Heck, even our older kids say words like that."

"Yeah," he says with a sigh.

"So I brought you lunch," I offer with a smile.

"Sam, what if they can't turn me back?" he asks.

My stomach falls. But I try not to let him see it. "You are going to get turned back. And if not, well your life expectancy has just increased.

He gets up, shuts the door, and leans in for a kiss. It's a fairly chase kiss, but it's delivered by a FOURTEEN year old. I pull away, "Jack," I say softly. I don't want to hurt him, but I also want to wipe my lips off.

"It's ok," he says turning away.

"Jack," I say grabbing onto his darn scrawny arm. He is so different from the husband I'm used to. But he's still my husband. "I wish I was ok with that."

"Someday?" he asks.

I try to give a look that is not yes or no, but fail. "Jack, you are a kid."

"I get it Sam," he mutters, "But it sucks that I'm stuck in a teenager's body with no hope of getting laid for what? Four or five years! Gracie doesn't even know me! My other kids find me hilarious. I get no more respect from than then the airman I'm supposed to be in charge of. I can't do my job, I have no place in my family. And I want a BEER!"

"I know Jack," I say.

"And that whole thing about longer life? What would I do with those extra years?" he asks.

"Live, Jack!" I say, confused by the question.

"Life without you Sam, would be nothing," he says.

I'm shocked. I don't know what to say. "Ok, than how about we strike a deal. If I stay the old one I promise to live a long, long life. If however, which is far more likely, you go back to being older you promise to give me a nice long life."

"Ok, Sam," he says with a smile. I give him a hug. At least that isn't creepy.

"Uh, sorry, Sir, Ma'am" Walter says stepping into the room.

"'S'okay Walter," Jack says, "Sam just stopped in to have lunch."

Walter smiles, "Yes sir," he leaves the office and then pokes his head back in, "Perhaps we should create a system, tie on the door?" he says. Jack chucks a stress ball at him.

Two nights later

They still haven't found a cure for Jack's condition. Jack has some memories of the Asgard doing something to him. That doesn't make much sense considering how good friends we are with the Asgurd. We've tried to contact them, and have gotten no answer. We haven't been able to figure anything out on our end either.

But life has returned to something close to normal. Jack has found that his grumpy general face is fairly effective at getting his subordinate to listen to him-despite his size. I gave his kids a few guilt and threat soaked lectures and the kids transformed into obedient and sympathetic angles. Gracie had accepted Jack's presence as well. I'm not sure she actually realizes he is her dad, or the same person she knew before. But she'd accepted him as a new constant in her life. All of this has caused Jack's general mood to improve. Although he still got grumpy during our nightly argument about who would sleep on the couch that night (I did not want a repeat of the snuggling a fourteen year old incident). Usually I won. I figured since I'm the one creped out by this at least I can take the couch.

I'm not sure whose idea it was to go out and eat. If I knew rest assured I would make sure that person was punished, even if it was me. Going out to eat with our kids is complicated enough. Cassie has these weird food phases. Earth food was really weird for her when she first came here. Hankan apparently had little variety in food. It seems that for the first eleven years of her life she ate nothing more than beef stew and a few kinds of fruit. So the first year that Cassie lived here she ate everything. Including weird combinations. Then she had a vegetarian phase. Then she had a no carb phase. Then she had a sort of processed food phase. It just goes on and on. I'm not quite sure what phase she is in the week, or if pizza is going to fit into her dietary requirements.

Charlie is humiliated to be seen in public with his family. He hides every time someone his age comes by. You would think it would be more embarrassing to be seen cowering under a table at a restaurant than sitting at one with your family. It's certainly less hygienic.

Then there is Davie, who is physically unable to sit still for more than twenty minutes. At home this is no big deal; he woofs down his food and then goes to play. In a restaurant there is the waiting to order, the waiting for food, the eating, and most excruciating-the waiting for everyone else to be done eating. Way more waiting than Davie can take. Sometimes he can channel his energy into fast talking and fidgets. Other times one of us goes to run laps around the building with him or something to settle him down.

Then there is the baby. Dinning with a baby is never easy. And Gracie at seven months wants to be held every second. Particularly when there are people she doesn't know around. In a restaurant there are a lot of people she doesn't know.

So things would have been complicated enough if it weren't for Jack being miniaturized. On the base he is still General. At home he's still Dad. Everywhere else the kids have just been referring to him as Jack. Jack and I have tried to alter our relationship so it doesn't look weird. Not that we'd be doing much anyway. But even after Jack was miniaturized we hold hands, bump shoulders, talked to each other like adults. That has to stop when we're in public or people are going to think I'm a pedophile. Besides which Jack has to act like a kid. Which is hard for him, he's a really take charge guy, and he has to pretend to defer to me for everything, since I'm the only adult on this outing.

It was defiantly a dumb idea to go out to eat. We're twenty minutes in and Gracie needs a diaper change and Davie needs a running. Jack and I play rock paper scissors for the jobs. He gets Davie. As I come back from changing the baby I pause to look out the window at Jack and Davie. Jack tries to do the thing where he throws Davie in the air. He forgets that he is now only three years older than his son, and they both land laughing on the sidewalk. They get up, and start races back and forth. An old woman smiles at me, "You must have done a good job with that boy," she says with a wink, "Your son is just great with his little brother."

I have the sudden urge to throw up. I mean I should have realized people would be assuming that Jack was my son, but the thought never crossed my mind. I so don't even want people to be considering that!

"Thanks," I say.

"You're a brave woman to take five kids out by yourself," she says. "I had four, and I would never braved it alone. Where is your husband dearie?"

"Air Force," I say with a sigh, "Hopefully he'll be back soon," amen to that.

She pulls me in for a hug, and I feel like a tear is almost coming to my eye.

Jack pops his head in, "You ok, Sam?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say giving him a quick smile. He goes back outside with Davie.

"He calls you by your first name?" the old woman asks. Bless her there is no judgment in her voice, although there is a lot of confusion.

"Yeah…stepson, his mom died," I explained.

"Goodness, you poor things have been through an awful lot," she says. "I think I have some…" she rifles through her purse producing a few individually wrapped licorice sticks and a broad grin, "Candy!"

One of the things that has befuddled me the most since becoming a parent is the way that society thinks its whole purpose in life is keep children on a constant sugar high. But the old woman was sweet so I offered no objection as she sugared up my kids-and my husband.

One Day Later

I grin as I watch my dad come through the gate with Johnny. "Dad!" I say giving him a big hug, but his eyes are on Jack.

"They told me what happened, but seeing it!" he says.

"God Dad, don't antagonize him, a young Jack O'Neill has been enough to deal with without getting the angry back," I say.

"I'll bet!" Dad says.

"Hey!" Jack protests.

"If you are going to act like you are fourteen I will treat you like you're fourteen," I say.

"So if I act my age…" he says.

"Dad's going to cure you, then you can get something besides a forehead kiss flyboy," I say.

"Sam," my dad says with a chortle, "All those jokes I made about Jack robbing the cradle? They are way more true of you now! He's a kid!" Good, my dad was relaxed enough to start making jokes about this.

"I know," Jack says, "Our age difference it twice as big as it was before. Besides, I at least waited until she was legal, two years beyond actually!"

"Two of your kids are older than you, almost three!" Dad pops in. The 'almost three' hasn't said a word yet. His eyes are locked on his father's.

"Dad?" he asks. I compare the two of them. Johnny is still scrawny, and he's still a bit short for his age, but he and Jack are only about a foot apart in height. Jack is scrawnier than he was as an adult, but he's still got a very different body build than Johnny. Even so, the two look alike. I never noticed, Johnny has the O'Neill eyes, muted by his puppy dog face. His hair, once it grew it, is colored like Jack's as well. They really look alike. Enough alike that a thought that never occurred to me before pops up.

"Yeah, bud," Jack says.

"Weird," Johnny says, looking critically at him.

Jack and Johnny go off to eat some lunch. "All you guys think about is filling me with food," Johnny had protested, but he's actually a pretty big fan of cake. And you know Jack is going to give him cake.

Dad is off to use Janet's equipment. (She hates it when Tok'ra use her equipment. She tolerates it with Dad, but she still really hates it.)

"Dad," I smile at him, I almost hate to bring this up. I'm probably wrong…but if I'm not. How come this never occurred to me before?

"What?" he says, and I realize I've been silent for a really long time.

"Uh…nothing," I stammer.

"Sammy…" he says. That's right my Dad and I have an honesty pack thing. And whose stupid idea was that?

"Have you ever looked at Johnny's DNA?" I ask.

"The problems with his organs were repaired at the molecular level when he became a Tok'ra, so there was no need to fix the root problem in his DNA. Why do you ask?" he asks then suddenly his eyes light up, "My god, I can't believe I never noticed it before. He does look like Jack doesn't he?"

"I never saw it until they were right next to one another, almost the same age. We knew that they created Johnny in a lab. His DNA was obviously modified from a human, but we never asked what human he was modified from. I mean…he wouldn't be a clone but."

"He could have some of Jack's genes in him," Dad says carefully.

"I'm thinking. Just do me a favor and check on it. I mean obviously take care of Jack first, but when you have time. And…and don't mention it to them until we know what the results are."

"Of course Sammy," he says. Then he tilts his head. I know what is coming is this thing which I've only got to enjoy since my Dad and I agreed to be honest with one another, "How are you holding up Sammy. I know we're making jokes about it, but it's got to be pretty weird to find yourself suddenly married to a teenager."

I smile, "Yeah, it's freaking me out. That first morning when I turned around in bed and saw that…I flipped. But I've adjusted far better than Jack."

"Yeah, I can't imagine him doing well. How are the airmen doing with a teenager general?"

I giggle, "He's scared them into obedience."

"Good for him," Dad says with a laugh. He pulls me close and kisses me on the forehead. For the first time in my life I realize where I learned the comfort kiss I give my kids (and my husband when he looks like a kid).

Later that day

I cannot stop sobbing. Daniel touches my hand, "Do you want me to go tell him?" Oh, I hadn't even considered telling Jack. How will that conversation go? Maybe I should let Daniel do the dirty work for me. I'd rather not know what Jack's face will look like when he finds out he is dying.

"No," I mutter. My husband deserves to hear this from me. I take a deep breath, and stands up.

My father locks me into a hug, holding me so tight I can barely breath. "Sammy," he mutters in my hair.

I start to leave, and glance back to see my father following me. "You don't have to come," I tell him.

"You think I'm going to let my baby girl do this by herself?" he says. I smile. "Sammy, I don't know if this is the right time, but I thought you might need some good news. Or at least not crappy news," he says. I nod. " Johnny is related to Jack. The DNA isn't that of a son or a clone exactly. It's like they started with Jack's DNA, and made a whole bunch of changes to it."

"Wow, so we have two really big pieces of news to deliver to Jack," I say. I'm not sure how he'll react to the second piece of news. If you are going to die, would you rather know that your adopted son is related to you or not? Would it even matter? How few things really matter in the end?

"Jack," I say when we reach his office a few minutes later.

He tries to hide the game boy he's taken to using since he turned young. Jack is still mostly Jack. He's got Jack's memories, and Jack's knowledge. But he is in the end in fourteen year old body. A fourteen year old body with a fourteen year old brain. Piles of paperwork were never that appealing to Jack, but they've become downright unbearable these last couple of days. Which it turns out might be his last couple of days.

"Found a cure?" he says, but as the words leave his mouth he looks up at my face. His own face falls, and I see panic in his eyes. "Sam?"

I just start to cry. He rushes over to me and holds me. The shoulder I'm crying on is no where near as broad as I'm used to, and the hands running through my hair and patting my back are smaller. But the motions are so familiar, so Jack, that I don't want him to stop. This might be the last time I get a hug from my husband, even if he is fourteen years old.

"Jack," I'm trying to tell him. Trying to break it to him gently, but it turns out the breaking it to him part is hard enough, "Cellular decay," I sob.

"I feel fine Sam, better than ever," he says pulling away so he can look in my eyes.

"You're dying, you probably don't feel the effects yet, but…you're dying," I say.

He shakes his head and looks at my dad. Dad nods, and then says, "Jack, the Tok'ra…"

"NO! No snakes," he points at me. "Not even for you Sam, and I going to let them put another snake in my head. As much as I love you."

"I wouldn't ask you too," I say softly.

"Jack, we want to put you in cryogenic storage until we find a solution to this problem," Dad says.

"Freeze me! God, you people are unbelievable. So what you thaw me out in twenty years, and I get to see how much I missed? I get to hear my kids tell me how much it sucked to grow up without a father? No thanks, I'll take death. Let me guess it's going to be slow and painful right?"

I sob and leave the room. I'm running, and I honestly don't know where to do. Jack knows all of my usual haunts. I hear his footsteps coming after me, but I don't slow down. He grabs onto my shoulders, and I don't stop him. "Sam, I'm sorry," I don't say anything, "I got so caught up in my own anger, that I forgot this is affecting more than just me. Come here," and I cry on the scrawny shoulder once again.

"Jack, I have something else to tell you, and I'm not sure how you are going to feel about it," I say.

"Well, following up on you're going to die it's got to sound pretty good," he says with a quiver of a smile.

"Dad ran a DNA comparison on Johnny and you," I start.

His eyes locked on me, "They cloned me?" he asks evenly, I wasn't sure what reaction he had, but I thought it would be big.

"Not exactly, more like they used your DNA as a template. They started with your DNA, and then did some pretty major modifications, but…"

"How much are we talking about sharing, I mean percentage wise," he says.

"Well, percentage wise doesn't tell use much. We share 98% of our DNA with chimps after all. But you are way more related than father and son, and way less related than identical twins," I explain.

He smiles, "We should go tell the kid. It will help him feel like he…belongs." I nod. He does belong. Jack is related to four out of our five kids. Me, only two out of five. Then suddenly he turns to me, stroking my cheek, "You feel left out, Sam?"

My husband, the psychic. "I'm glad, Jack, that there is another piece of you in the world," I say.

He nods, "Something for you to have when I'm gone. I wonder how Cassie's going to react. She'll be the only non-biological kid now," he says.

"You think of everyone's reactions," I say. All I can think of us how much I'm going to miss him. How much I want to save him.

A few hours later

We've just told Johnny about his unusual link to his adopted father. We're sitting in the quarters Dad uses when he's on base. Dad doesn't like to stay at the house, because he doesn't want to be a burden. I think the real reason is we're out of beds with all our kids, and he's not a big fan of the couch. Which right now to be quite honest is occupied although Jack or I would be willing to sleep on the floor (after all that is where we sleep on missions, and Jack can't claim to be too old for that anymore!)

Johnny doesn't say a single word for a long time. I'm trying to figure out if we've confused him or offended him or what exactly is going on in his brain. Then suddenly his symbiot begins to speak, "Johnny and I have discussed this, and we have reached a conclusion. Actually it was an offer I was willing to make before this new information came to light, but this additional link has only strengthened my resolve," Ok, so he was quiet because the long winded Tok'ra was doing the talking, "I would like to propose a blending, General O'Neill."

"No thanks," Jack says quickly, trying desperately to hide his disgust. Trying, and mostly failing.

"Doesn't Johnny need you?" I ask Ja'bar.

"No, Johnny's sickness is completely healed. If I were to leave him he would be a typical boy for his age. Perhaps a bit undersize, but other than that developing normally," Ja'bar says.

Ja'bar puts his head down and Johnny looks up at Jack with wet eyes, "Dad, please. I'm healthy. Ja'bar says it won't hurt me. And even if it does, I need you way more than I need to be healthy."

Jack looks away with wet eyes, he said that even my pleading couldn't convince him, but he hadn't counted on his son's pleading.

"Ja'bar says that he is willing to give up living with the Tok'ra. He'll stay on earth forever. He's grown attached to this family he says. If you do this I get to stay too."

Jack smiles, "If I say no will Ja'bar and you come live on earth with the rest of the family?"

Johnny pauses, "No, Ja'bar says that would not be possible," Johnny looks at me, "He says four children are enough for Mom to raise alone."

Jack looks at me full of apology. I want him to take his son up on the offer, but I don't want this to be the reason he takes his son up on the offer. "Jack, I can do that. I certainly don't want to do it, but I'll take care of them! I can take care of them!" My pride is suddenly hurt, and the slight on my parenting skills. Not that being a single mom of five is an easy task by any means.

"I know, sweetie," he says, "But that would be a lot of work. You shouldn't have to do that," I know Jack knows what he's talking about. It was not too long ago he was raising three of our kids by himself.

I look at Johnny and see the effect Jack's words are having on our son, "No, baby he didn't mean that you are a lot of work," I say pulling him onto my lap. Of course, he's way too big to be pulled onto my lap. The kid is thirteen years old for goodness sake. But he's small for his age, and doesn't have any earth friends to make him ashamed, and most of all he never got to sit on someone's lap when he was the right age for it. So he gets delayed affection.

"I'm small, and sick, and weird," Johnny says sadly, "I know that I'm a lot of work. I'd better stay with Grandpa no matter what you decide."

"NO," Jack says firmly, "You listen to me," he take the little boys face in his hands and gently turns it toward himself, "You, young man, are everything a man could hope for in a son. You are perfect. More than anything I want you to come live with us. Either way. You our ours. Right Sam?"

"Of course," I say with certainty.

Johnny grins, "Ja'bar says that even in separation we are a package deal, the only way I get to come to earth is if you are willing to take Ja'bar."

"He's blackmailing me then?" Jack asks.

"No blackmail involves the exchange of information for money. This is more like a bribe," Johnny says. Gotta love a little kid with a precise vocabulary!

Jack pulls him into a hug, and ruffles his hair. "Can I talk to Ja'bar buddy?" he says. Johnny nods his head both in answer and in switch of control.

"You sure he's going to be healthy without you?" Jack asks.

"As healthy as he is now," Ja'bar says.

"And this is the only way I get to live?" Jack asks.

"According to the test results I saw," Ja'bar says.

"And I get to stay on earth and do everything I would normally do?" Jack asks. Suddenly my stomach turns. Lord, Jack and I may never return to normal relations. Not only does have a fourteen year old's body but he's going to be sharing it with a thousand year old member of another species who used to live in our son. That is the opposite of sexy.

"Yes, and did you know smybiots are capable of a form of kal'no'rem which prevents them from being aware of their surroundings?" Ja'bar wisely says.

"That could come in handy," Jack says.

"In about four years," I add.

"Ok," Jack says.

"Ok? Seriously? You're saying, ok?" I say.

He looks at me like I'm crazy, "Johnny begging for a father is a great motivator to me, Sam. I'd be a pretty selfish man to leave my kids without a father just because I haven't dealt with a couple of psychological issues."

"Being tortured to death more times than you can count is a pretty major psychological issue, Jack," I point out.

"I know Ja'bar," he says, "I may not like or trust Tok'ra, but I feel like I can trust Ja'bar." He leaves his eyes upon that of the Tok'ra as a challenge or as a…I don't know male bonding thing.  
>"You can trust me, O'Neill," the Tok'ra says solemnly, like Jack has just given him a great honor. Which I suppose he is.<p>

"Then let's do this before I get any sicker," Jack says.

"Give me a minute to say goodbye," Ja'bar replies. For a little bit Johnny's body appears to have no one occupying his body instead of the two people that we are used to. Then Johnny looks at Jack and smiles, "Thank you, Daddy."

My heart melts, and I can see it is having much the same effect on Jack. "So…" Jack says.

"You're going to have to put your face near mine," Jack leans forward so he's about a half foot away. Johnny laughs, "Closer than that Daddy." Jack grins and leans in so close he couldn't get any closer without touching his lips to his son's. Ja'bar wiggles out, and wiggles into Jack's mouth. Jack looks forward smiling, and doesn't even flinch as he burrows through the back of his throat. From what I remember that was a fairly painful experience.

"You have to lay down and let the healing process take place now, Jack," Dad says. Jack lays down on the bed. I brush the hair away from his eyes, "Get better, sweetie," I say.

"You take our son home, babe," he replies.

A few hours later

Dad is running to me out of breath. My heart stops. We know that in a small percentage of blendings either the host or the smybiot dies. Usually, because the host was really sick when the blending began. That couldn't be what happened here?

"What's wrong with Jack?" I ask.

"Well, he's missing, I suppose," Dad says somewhat thoughtfully.

"Missing! He went down for a nap in your room a couple of hours ago. How could you lose my husband, Dad! This is the second time your stupid snakehead Tok'ra screwed Jack over royally!"

"The person napping in my quarters is still there, but he isn't Jack," Dad says.

"What?" I say squinting.

"He's a clone," Dad says. Damn it! Oh, this is going to be so hard for…for whatever we're going to call him now. It was bad enough when we thought he really was Jack. Hard enough to live between two worlds. But now when he wasn't even where who he thought he was. Who he remembered being.

"Where is the real Jack?" I ask.

"I'm thinking the Asguard still has him," Dad says, "Daniel has a theory," lordy, Daniel coming up with biology theories, this was always funny, "That the Asguard take people for a week. While they are going they leave a clone to live their lives. Then after the week they replace the clone with the original."

"Ok, I guess that makes sense, and we know the Asguard do have the cloning technology that would be necessary to do this, but why would they make him look so young?" Who would have guessed, the young archeologist steps out of the soft scientists, and gets something right for a change! "I don't know, Daniel thinks it was a mistake. If you are using the clones so no one notices, well people are going to notice someone who loses that many years. Also, none of the other cases Daniel found, got younger," Dad explains.

"If that is the case the Asguard would want to make the switch back," I say.

Dad nods, "Yeah, and I think we should arrange to be there for that." A thought occurs to me. It ought to have occurred to me much sooner, but over the last few days I had begun to view the mini version of my husband as my real husband.

"So the real Jack…" I say.

"Is probably just fine, and of a normal age," my father says with a broad grin which he apparently thinks I'm going to return. When I don't he asks, "What's wrong?"

"No, I should be happy, it's just…well…the other Jack. The Jack that is napping in your room right now. He just faced his absolute worst fear in order to be there for his kids. Now he's going to find out they aren't his kids after all. There real father is going to come back and take care of them. He gave it all up for…nothing. I mean I'll ask him to come live with us, but he'd have to do it as their brother, not as their father."

"Sam, it was either that or he would have died," Dad says.

"I know, but for Jack, death is way less terrifying than sharing his body with a snake for thousands of years. I mean he did that for his kids…for me, and he doesn't get us. Because when the real Jack comes back…I mean before he could be a dad, and it was like waiting a few years to be my husband…now he doesn't get to be my husband at all. I have a husband, and it isn't him. I'm glad Jack is really ok. But…"

"I know honey," Dad says giving me one of those bone crushing, soul lifting hugs. "You want me to tell him?"

I shake my head.

A few minutes later

In Jacob Carter's quarters

Jack jumps as I open the door, "Time to wake up, you've been asleep for hours," I tease.

"Better than the years your dad was offering with the cryogenic thing," Jack says. That's when his eyes first meet mine, "Sam, what's wrong?"

"You are a clone," I say quickly and in a flat voice. He just stares at me. "You aren't the real Jack O'Neill.

"Did you know this before I let this snake…" he sounds really mad.

"No, I just found out Jack. Dad just found out about a half hour ago," I say.

"So where is the real me, is he ok?" and there is real concern in his eyes, bless the man.

"They think so. They think the Asguard use clones to cover while they experiment on their victims. They figure they'll be making the exchange in four nights."

"So it turns out my kids get a dad anyway. Guess you didn't need to snake me," he says.

"Jack, we still don't want you to die. We're trying to figure out what is going to happen to you…" I say.

"Easy, I get to go live with the Tok'ra," he says dismally.

"Jack, you could stay with us," I begin.

"No," he says firmly.

"Jack, you could still see your kids, and…" I start.

"Sam, I may not really be your husband. But I do remember being your husband. And I am still in love with you. I'm not going to be able to go from husband to son. I'll go with the Tok'ra. We'll come visit. It will be fine."

"Jack…" I start.

"I don't really want to talk about t his Sam; I'm trying to get to know my new brain mate,' he says. He turns around a faces the wall. I stand there for a long time, before I finally turn and leave.

Four nights later

O'Neill residence

It was the hardest stakeout on which I'd ever been. Daniel, Teal'c, and McKay are out in the van munching on donuts. Teal'c loves steak outs. I'm laying in bed next to not-my-Jack. It's awkward. We've barely talked since he found out he was a clone.

On the one hand I couldn't wait to see my real husband. To see if he was still alright. On the other hand, I was nervous about how this was going to affect the other Jack. My life was certainly complicated. I see a beam of light zap away one Jack, and replace him with a much older version.

"Are you ok?" I ask him.

"Of course," he says obviously confused by the semi-frantic tone in my voice.

"Jack, pretty soon we're going to be beamed aboard a…" I'm cut off in the middle of my sentence by a beam of light. Darn not-my-Jack for being such a fast worker, I was hoping to have some time to talk to my-Jack before it became more public.

We're on a Asguard ship. Not-my-Jack is standing over a zated Asguard.

"Who are you?" Jack asks him.

"Uh, Jack…" I begin.

"I'm I screwed up clone with a Tok'ra in my brain, nice to meet you," not-my-Jack says extending his hand.

Jack doesn't take it, but just stares, "What?" he asks.

"Jack, this Asguard," I say pointing to the floor, "Kidnapped you a week ago, and replaced you with this clone. Something happened during the cloning process which caused him not to fully mature. However, he does have all the thoughts and memories that you have," I explain.

"Then why the hell did he let them put a Tok'ra in his brain?" Jack asks. Not-my-Jack flinches.

"Because his son begged him too. We didn't know he was a clone then. This Jack," I say pointing to not-my-Jack, "was falling apart genetically, molecularly. And Johnny, who by the way is also sort of your clone, didn't want to be without a father, so he gave him Ja'bar.

Jack lunges across the room toward not-my-Jack, "You asshole!"

I step between them, "What is wrong?" I ask.

"He endangered, Johnny's life to save his own. He must not have anything of me in him!" Jack shouts.

"Johnny is fine. No way would he have done t if Johnny wasn't fine. In fact Johnny gets to live on earth with us now. Johnny and Ja'bar sort of bribed him with that fact. Trust me, this Jack O'Neill is just as selfless as you," I say. Jack calms down at this.

"Johnny is my clone?" he asks.

"I'm sorry Jack, I shouldn't have dropped all of this on you at once. They used your genes as a template for Johnny, but they then made many changes to it. So he's sort of, but not totally your clone," I say.

The Asguard started waking up, "Ok, explain yourself," my-Jack says to him.

"I am Loki," he mutters.

"Sam," Jack jesters toward the Asguard control panel, "Dial Thor won't you?" If he hadn't already dealt with enough for a whole day, I'd tell him he was crazy. This is so far from something I'm qualified to do. I don't know what gave the SGC the idea that astrophysics can fix alien technology. Building my Indian bike from scratch prepared me better than learning about black holes. Jack's been on more Asguard ships than I have. But I try it anyway. He looks at me expectantly. To be honest I'm about 60% sure I called Thor. I might have also beamed something out of the communication room into space. I glance out the window. Nothing floating, so…

Thor beams in. Thank God.

"Loki," Thor says much annoyed. We have to explain the whole thing again, and Thor agrees to imprison Loki for his crimes.

"So what are you going to do?" Jack asks non-my-Jack.

"I'm going to join the Tok'ra," not-my-Jack says.

"You don't want to do that," Jack says making a horrible face, "You can come live with us," he glances at me with a question in his eyes.

"I already invited him, and he declined," I said.

He looks at Jack, "I understand," he says glancing meaningfully back and me. He really does. "But there are a lot of things you can do besides go with the Tok'ra," Jack says.

"I am Tok'ra," not-my-Jack says.

"Then this is where you and I start being VERY different people," Jack says.

I pull Thor aside as they are talking. "Thor, could you do me a favor?"

A week later

Jack and I stand before the gate watching them go through.

"I can't believe you did that Sam," he says. Truth be told I can't believe I did it either. The decision to have a fourteen year old clone of myself made was not an easy one. It has been weird for the past week to look into the face of someone who contains inside of her all of my memories, my feelings. Someone who looks just like I did when my mother died. Someone who thinks my kids are her own. Someone who is not-quite-me.

Someone who loves not-my-Jack, just like I love my Jack.

"You must really love me," he says.

"Yeah," I say bumping his shoulder. The most affection we show at work.

"And him?" he asks not looking at me.

I don't look at him either as I reply, "He kissed me on the lips once, I kissed his forehead once. He hated that…"

"I'll bet," he says.

"And a couple of hugs, that's all," I continue.

"That wasn't what I was asking, did you love him?" he asks looking at me.

I can't lie, "Love him? Of course I loved him. I thought he was you, and I love you. Even after I knew he wasn't you. The only difference between him and you was his body. And I don't love you, because of your sexy body, General."

"You still love him?" he asks.

I pause, "I love you. Every day he's less you, and more him. So I love him less all the time. You love her?" I ask.

He smiles, "She talks like you, thinks like you But if you've got the real thing why would you want a copy?"

I watch not-my-Jack, and not-quite-me head through the gate. I wonder if she's going to like being a Tok'ra. I know that I wouldn't, but she isn't really me anymore. I hope she wouldn't hate it. I hope I didn't make a selfish choice. But I couldn't let not-my-Jack live without a Sam, any more than I could be his Sam.


	14. Girlfriends

Jack's POV

April 2001

Its Johnny's first day of school. For most kids this happens at the beginning of a school year when they are five and it's everyone else's first day of school. Johnny was never five. I suppose if you want to get technical he's only three years old now, since he's been alive for three years. If we claimed he was three we'd never be believed though, because he looks like he's thirteen. His mind now that's a little bit more difficult. He's had a 1,000 year old alien in his brain for the last three years. Ja'bar has been gone now for a month, but he's left a lot of remnants behind. Johnny still sometimes says, "we" when he's only talking about himself or "I" when he's talking about a Tok'ra fight thousands of years before he was-made? You can't properly say born. I've asked Johnny how old he thinks of himself as being. He didn't know how to answer that question. I asked him if he feels trapped in the body of a kid, like my clone felt trapped in the body of a fourteen year old. He says he doesn't. He says that this body belongs to him even if the mind does not fit it. I suppose it is because it's the only body Johnny has ever known.

But however old Johnny is on the philosophical level his fake birth certificate (he was born in Toronto just like Cassie, imagine that!) puts him at thirteen years old with his birthday the day he walked through our gate. So, now that he's staying on earth it is time that we put him in school. We debated for a long time what to do about school records. Sam wanted to fake them giving him perfect scores in honors classes. Somehow that felt profoundly dishonest to me. Not because I didn't think Johnny could earn that sort of grades, lord knows the child could, but simply because that isn't the kind of life Johnny had lived. He hadn't had an easy life with nothing to worry about than school I wanted to tell the closest thing to the truth as I could.

"Nervous, buddy?" I ask glancing in the rear view mirror. I am, and I haven't been nervous around middle schools since I was in attendance.

Johnny's face has a huge grin on it, and his eyes are scanning the building. "Nope!" he exclaims. My stomach is all twisted in knots. I'm thinking of the thousands of ways this day could go downhill.

"Good!" I say. Not letting on to my true feelings. We exit the car, and he tries to put his little hand in mine. We've never really worried about social norms with Johnny before, but just sort of poured attention on him when he was on earth any way that I could. Now though, it actually matters what passerby's think of him, so I pull my hand away. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt his feelings, but he just tilts his head in confusion, and keeps smiling.

We enter the school and the hallways are filled with hundreds of students rushing at a breakneck pace. Suddenly I'm wishing we took Sha're's advice, called Johnny eleven, and enrolled him in sixth grade at an elementary school. Seventh grade is tough. It's more about the social standing than the academics, they have seven teachers, and all this rough and tough class switching stuff. I'm afraid my tiny son is going to get crushed. We make our way to the counselor's office.

"Hello," I say smiling at an old woman with white frizzy hair, thick horn rimmed glasses and the kind of dresses you usually only see on librarians and kindergarten teachers, "I'm Mr. O'Neill, we spoke on the phone."

"Yes," she says with a broad smile, "And this must be Johnny, nice to meet you."

"Thank you ma'am," he says. I cringe inside. Ever since I've met Johnny I've thought the old school formal way he talks is adorable. Now I feel like I'm sending chow out in front of sharks.

"Oh, I just love military families!" the counselor exclaims, "They are always so polite! Now, I've got your schedule right here," she says handing a slip of paper to him, "It's not often we have people enrolling this late in the school year, but what can you do with the military!" she says.

"Actually, we've lived here for awhile," I say, "We've got two older kids who went through here a couple of years back. Cassie and Charlie," I can see she's really confused, deep breath it's story time, "Sam and I adopted Johnny a few years back. He hasn't been able to go to school because he's had some very serious medical issues and he was homeschooled for the past three years. However his issues have stabilized, and we felt that it was time for him to resume regular schooling."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," she says. Her face right then redeems a lot of her more ridiculous behavior in my eyes. This woman may be a little bit flighty but she really does care about kids, "What was wrong with him?"

"Multiple organ failure," I say. I than turn to Johnny, "Could you go wait out in the hall for a moment, Bud," I say. She's going to think I'm sending him out so he doesn't relieve a traumatizing experience. The real reason is I don't want him to think I'm talking bad about his retou " Mother."

"Johnny was neglected when we found him. He was ten years old and didn't even have a name," she gasps, "his health problems stem from that. When we first found him he was malnourished, and sick. He had an imaginary invisible mother, and we're not sure if he'd ever been to school. He's doing well now. His body is healed. But he's never really been around other kids besides his four siblings. I worry about him. I mean junior high is so social!"

"I'll do everything in my power to ease his transition. We should probably set up weekly sessions…"

Oh that would go well, I thought sarcastically. I can just see my son discussing his fictional history with a councilor.

"Ah, we have that covered," I say. My God do we? Ok so, Johnny was never neglected like I said, but he did have an unusual traumatic entrance into the world. I might be projecting my hatred of psychologists onto him. I mean he obviously can't talk to her, but maybe someone with security clearance-someone who isn't McKenzie of course.

"Can I assume he's far behind academically?" she asks.

"You could, but you'd be wrong," I say. Damn it, I promised Sam I was not going to say one sarcastic thing the whole day (thank goodness I didn't promise her I wouldn't think one sarcastic thing). "Actually Johnny is very bright for his age. He reads everything. I mean like reads college textbooks for fun. My wife is a scientist, and he's fascinated by what she does for a living. So he knows a lot of science and a lot of math too. But he likes to do math in base eight," actually a lot of that was Ja'bar's fault. The Tok'ra use base eight. Sam's been working with him to use the American system. The Tok'ra all know a lot about science, even the ones who aren't actually scientists like Salmak is. The only problem Johnny might have in science is that not all of the science he knows has actually been discovered by us petty earthlings. "History is going to be hard for him though. He hates the stuff, and I didn't have the heart to force him to study it when he was sick. He's had a few months of cramming it in, but it's still going to be pretty new for him." Actually Johnny's entire knowledge of earth history came from a book he started reading yesterday. Earth history wasn't something Ja'bar could teach him.

"Well, it should think he'll do just fine," she says with a smile. Oh the academics aren't going to be the problem. We considered having Johnny skip grades. That would probably have made more sense than having him start a grade lower. But the only reason to send Johnny to school at all is a social reason. School is what kids do. He may not be physically a child, or mentally a child, but he is emotionally a child. So if you're sending a kid to school for social reason you send them to school with people there age.

"Ok, well I'd better get going," I say.

Johnny smiles as I open the door, "Will you walk me to class?" he asks.

"Johnny, I think you'd better do it alone," I say.

He looks sad, "Ok, he says, kiss goodbye?"

Lordy, if we were looking for people at his emotional maturity we should have waited to send him to school with Gracie! But there is no one in the halls so I lean forward and give him a kiss on his hairline. As I pull away he looks really worried about school for the first time.

"'Knock 'em dead slugger!" I say.

His face breaks out into a wide grin. Then a frown crosses his face, "You'll be there to pick me up?" he asks worriedly.

"With bells on," I say with a smile.

I go out to sit in the car, and stare at the building for a good three minutes before I turn and drive away. The more choices you have the more you are going to worry that you made the right one.

Later that day

School gets out at 3:17. It's a weird time, schools do that nowadays. I remember it is 3:17, because Charlie was very particular about it when he went to this school. He would count how many minutes were left in a school day (or year once April hit), and he would always include those last two minutes complaining all the while they were the hardest of the day.

I knew what time school got out, so I have no excuse for showing up at 2:50. As I sit I start to get more and more nervous. I simply must know how Johnny's day went in the next four seconds or I'm going to explode. I seriously consider going in to extract him from his last class (it's just math, he knows math) or at least wait by his locker (317 combination 32-15-42 we've been practicing for a week). But I'm worried about what kind of a show Johnny might make when he sees me. I don't want to undermine any work on friendships he might have gotten accomplished today with him running into my arms like a kindergartener. So I wait.

3:17 a few kids burst out of the school with more excitement than most of my fellow soldiers when we were sprung from POW prison.

3:18 a few more kids trickle out.

3:19 a steady stream of kids exit the building. They stand in bunches on the lawn of the school. As cars pull up a kid or two gets into each one. No sign of Johnny, he's probably fighting a losing battle with his locker.

3:22 every seventh and eighth grader in the state appears to be on the front lawn. Except for my kid.

3:29 the kids who haven't yet been picked up start to disperse. Apparently it isn't cool to start walking home until the appropriate time. I'm not worried though. Not yet.

3:32 the school would have called if something happened right?

3:36 What were we thinking? Sending an emotionally immature alien into a junior high!

3:41 So help me I'm going in. As I enter the school I see a note that all visitors are supposed to stop by the main office. This is something of an inconvenience, none the less I truck down there. I ask the lady if she happens to know where my kid is. She says no, but she's willing to page him. Oh, that will help his popularity a bundle. I can hear it now, "Hey Johnny, your Daddy is at the school office, because he isn't sure you can find your way to the front of the school." I thank her, but say I can find him quite well on my own.

3:46 I'm Beginning to wish I'd taken the lady up on her offer. Turns out it's not as easy to locate him as I thought. Besides which there aren't any kids left in the school to hear the announcement. I'm about to head back to the office when I hear a laugh I recognize. I round the corner to see Johnny talking to a short pretty blond girl at her locker. The girl laughs revealing florescent orange braces.

"Hey, Johnny!" I say before I remember my efforts not to undermine my son's cool factor.

"I told you, you were keeping your Dad waiting!" she scolds.

"And I told you he wouldn't mind," Johnny says. He turns to me, "You don't mind do you?" he asks.

"Ah, course not, Cass and Charlie might be less than pleased," I say. Of course I do mind, I was freaking out. But he seems to be doing pretty well here. Surprisingly well. Not that I didn't think my kid could make friends, but ok, I didn't think my kid could make friends this fast.

"Still, we should have done what I said, went out his car, told him you were going to be a little late, and then…" the girl begins in a motherly voice.

"The whole point of carrying your books is to carry them to your locker. If we went somewhere besides your locker I wouldn't be carrying your books for you now would I?" he asks.

The girl turns to me with a grin, "He asked to carry my books. He got it from a book. Isn't he charming?" Clearly this girl has fallen for my son. "I'm Rebecca by the way," she says extending her hand to shake mine. As she does the books Johnny's handed back to her start to fall. Johnny catches them halfway to the floor, and she gives him a swoony look. He fails to notice it. Ah junior high, crushes, awkwardness, and cluelessness!

"Nice to meet you, I'm Johnny's father, Jack," I say.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. O'Neill," she says.

"You can call me Jack, really," I tell her.

"Couldn't possibly," she says, "Johnny and I wanted to get together tomorrow after school to study. I haven't asked my parents yet of course, but would you give Johnny permission?"

"Permission to hang out with the polite friend he met on his first day in a new school? Ya betcha Rebecca!" I say.

"Ok, if my parents say yes, we'll take him home tomorrow, and drop him off after dinner, ok?" she asks.

"Sounds good," I say.

"'Bye!" Johnny says leaning forward and giving her a hug. This kid probably thinks that's the normal way to say goodbye. All his experience has been saying goodbye to family he won't see for a couple of months. He's never said goodbye to a girl he'll see again tomorrow. As he pulls away her face is bright red, but it's got a smile on it indicating that while embarrassed she's not offended.

"Don't forget your own books," she says.

15 minutes later

By the time I pull up in front of the high school (which dismisses as Charlie informs me at precisely 3:20) Cassie and Charlie are the only kids left. Cassie is sitting on the huge front steps doing her algebra homework. It's windy enough that he's holding the paper down with one hand and an elbow. She turns every now and again to ask Charlie a question. He's doing some weird acrobatics trick from the railing, and doesn't actually seem to be answering her.

I'm expecting Cassie to be flexible, and Charlie to be annoyed. When I pull up Charlie turns his face toward the car, and I don't see annoyed. I see worried, and my heart almost bursts out of love for my oldest boy who is worried about his little brother.

"How was school?" Charlie asks Johnny before he's even in the van.

"It was great! There was a test in language today over stuff I wasn't here for, so she just let me read the whole class period!" Johnny explains.

"Were people nice to you?" Cassie asks giving her brother a hug as she sits down next to him. We might have to have a family meeting about hugging.

"Yeah, Rebecca sat by me at lunch," Johnny says.

"Rebecca?" Charlie asks.

"Yes," Johnny says apparently thinking the question was an attempt to verify pronunciation instead of what it really was-a fish for more information.

"His pretty little blond girlfriend," I say pulling out into traffic.

"She is not!" Johnny protests.

"Not pretty?" Cassie teases.

Johnny is not aware she's teasing, "No, she's pretty, but she's not my girlfriend," he says crossing his arms.

"But she sure wants to be," I say.

"Really, dad?" Cassie asks sounding surprised.

"You met her?" Charlie asks.

"Yeah, the sweet little thing wanted to ask permission to have Johnny come to her house tomorrow night," I say.

"Speaking of girlfriends…" Cassie says glancing back at Charlie.

"Uh..oh!" I say.

"Hey, with Johnny it's good for you, and with me it's uh…oh!" Charlie protests.

"Johnny is oblivious to the fact he's charming the socks off this girl. You however, are aware of your charms," I say glancing back at him, "Besides I like Rebecca, I don't know if I like mystery Charlie's girl."

"Her name is Liz," he says with a sigh, "and I'm going to the dance with her." I raise my eyebrow at him in an imitation of Teal'c that seems to do the trick, because he amends his comment to a question, "I mean, may I please go to the dance with Liz, sir?"

"After she meets Teal'c," Cassie says.

"What?" Charlie asks in horror, "No way!"

"Gender equality, Dad, if you use Jaffa to scare of my boyfriend, you must use them to scare of Charlie's girlfriend as well," she says with her arms crossed. Oh, she is Sam's daughter. Love it!

"Hey, if my girlfriend needs the Jaffa stamp of approval so does Johnny's!" Charlie protests.

"She is NOT my girlfriend," Johnny yells. I can tell this is going to degrade into a fight if I don't do something fast.

"Ok, new house rule. Any romantic interests OR friends of the opposite gender must meet Teal'c before they can hang out with any of our children," I say. That should clear thing up.

"You already said I could go to 'Becca's house tomorrow," Johnny points out.

Good point, "…more than once," I add. Cassie rolls her eyes. But it seems to be something they can all live with. Now I've got three children dating (even if one doesn't know it yet). The next few years are going to be a lot of fun!

Two weeks later

It's Friday night. Cassie, Damon, Charlie, and Liz all went to a movie. I love that my kids double date! Even with two kids gone we've got a pretty full house. We're watching the Littlefield kids so Daniel and Sha're can have a date night (a favor they return once a month). Hess and Davie are playing a pretty spirited game of chess. When genius play games like that things tend to be spirited. Gracie and Pend'ra are having a play date. Which at that age, means playing while ignoring each other on the same blanket unless the other one happens to have a toy you want at which time you resort to violence. Aki is reading a book in the corner. Johnny has Becca over, and they are playing risk in his bedroom (it's how Johnny is learning earth geography, I've been trying to tell him it's a flawed method since most of the countries don't make the map, and a lot of the places on that map aren't even countries, but hey at least he'll get the shape of the continents down). Sam and I are enjoying a cup of coffee and a good talk.

Suddenly Johnny burst into the room, "I told her!" he says wide eyed.

"Told her what?" Sam says. I'm thinking the boy admitted his feelings for her to Becca. That would be sort of impressive since he hasn't admitted them to himself.

He looks around the room. He has the attention of everyone, but Aki. But he decides to press on anyway, "About the whole alien thing," he says.

"What?" I exclaim.

"I didn't mean to…" he rushes on.

"What exactly did you say?" I ask.

"Well we were talking about one of the countries in the game, and she showed me it on the globe. Then she picked up a toy to use as a spaceship, and I told her that wasn't what spaceships looked like, and she asked me how I knew…"

"Honey, she probably thinks you are joking," Sam says patting his hand, but I can tell from her face she is really worried about it.

"No," Johnny says shaking his head. "You have to go talk to her," he says. Dang! He's pulling on MY arm.

"What am I supposed to say?" I ask.

"I don't know, all I know is I'm so humiliated I can never see her again. I'll be in the backyard until she leaves," I say.

Well, at least Johnny has matured a lot in the last couple of weeks. That was a VERY middle school thing to say.

"Ok," I say. I walk into the room and Becca stands up awkwardly.

"Mr. O'Neill I'm sorry…I don't quite know what to be sorry for, but I know that I am."

"No, Becca, you have nothing to be sorry for. Johnny isn't used to dealing with," people would not have been the right word, "kids his age. He was sick as a kid and didn't really know someone outside of his family. So he's just embarrassed…" I say.

She squints at me, "He told me he's an alien," she says carefully.

I laugh. It sounds forced even to me, "He did huh? Well that is one heck of a story."

"Where did you say Johnny is from?" she asks.

"Toronto, he's from Canada," I say with ease of a practiced lie.

"He doesn't talk like a Canadian," she says.

"Not all Canadians walk around saying "eh?" and "oot" for "out"," I say faking offense.

"Oh, I know that, but there are things all Canadians DO do. Like there is a certain order they put their words in. I don't know how to describe it, but you can sense it from a mile away. Like the way they talk about grade seven instead of seventh grade. Or the way they dress in layers instead of thick coats or the way that…"

"You sure seem to know an awful lot about Canada," I interrupt.

"Well, my dad was stationed at Minot Air force Base for two years," she says.

I raise my eyebrow in a pretty good imitation of Teal'c if I do say so myself.

"Minot, North Dakota," she supplies.

I offer no reaction.

"It's about as close to Canada as you can get without a passport. You know, 'why not Minot?' 'freezin' the reason"," she supplies.

I have to giggled, "Ok, so Johnny isn't Canadian," I say like I'm making a huge confession, "His birthplace is classified," ok, that part is true, "and what he meant by alien is someone who enters the country…"

She cuts me off, "They don't give away geography, debate, and chess trophies for nothing, Mr. O'Neill."

"Is that your way of saying, 'I'm not stupid'?" I ask.

"Pretty bright observation," she says.

"Well, I'm used to talking to incredibly brilliant people with my kids and wife and all," I say hoping I can distract her.

"Just tell me where Johnny is from," she says.

"I can't do that, Becca, I would if I could," I say pleading with my eyes for her to drop it.

"Is he human?" she asks with pain in her eyes.

I close my eyes. I'm not even sure what the biologic answer to that is. How much do two individuals have to differ from one another in order to be members of different species? Well, I actually know the answer to that part of the question; after all I am married to a scientist. They have to be different enough that they can't successfully mate with one another to produce healthy offspring. So I guess we aren't going to know if Johnny's human for a quite a few years. Becca may even know before us.

But I do know the answer to that question. The philosophical spiritual answer, "Yes, he's human. He's my son."

"Your adopted son though, I mean he doesn't share you genes does he?" The way she worded that question must have made me let something show on my face. "My god, is he a clone?" she asks scandalized. I'm trained not to give up classified information under torture, so I have no idea how a teenage girl is getting so much out of me, but she is. "He is. He is your clone! Some secret Air Force science project! So all that stuff he won't talk about. All that being tiny and hungry and nameless and alone. That didn't happen with some horrible birth parents who have been put away for life because of it. It happened in some lab. Some place where intelligent adults decided to bring him into the world on purpose. You let them clone you. You did that, and you didn't even take care of him," she starts to spin out of the room.

"Becca," I say. I'm not sure what in my voice stops her, but something does. She turns. "I didn't let them clone me," I say. She's looking into my eyes, but she's still leery of me, "we made him a part of his family three years before I even knew he was my clone," I say.

She looks at me, "What about all those years before that? How dare they bring a little baby into this world unless they planned on taking care of him?"

"I think they did plan on taking care of him, only…" I was about to say they didn't know how, but that would be an awfully hard comment to explain.

She looks at me, "Who are they?" she asks.

"You know, they…the man," I offer.

"He said he was an alien," she says.

I laugh; damn, it forced again, "You know kids these days, to many video games."

"Johnny doesn't play video games," she says.

"I know, it's a character flaw of his, I meant books," I say.

"What kind of life do you lead Mr. O'Neill that would cause aliens to clone you without your consent?" she asks.

"You have one heck of an imagination there young lady, just don't let it get too carried away."

"Was it an abduction then the angry Air Force General kicks alien butt thing, or more of a friendship gone bad?" she asks.

"You know what? Johnny is from Toronto and it's time for you to go home," I say standing up.

"Ok, sorry, I get the security thing. Air Force brat myself. Just let me say goodbye to Johnny, he was pretty shaken up before," she says.

"He doesn't want to see you," I say. Never thought I'd be in the position of quoting romance novels from the eighteen hundreds in order to protect my teenage clone/adopted alien son from his suitor. But I don't suppose anyone has thought that!

"Mr. O'Neill, I have to see him. I just have to make sure…the years of pain are gone," she says.

She's worried about him.

I sigh, "There were no years of pain Becca."

"What?" she says confused for the first time in this conversation which says something pretty amazing about her.

"There weren't years of pain," I repeat.

"But he told me about being alone and unnamed, are you telling me he lied?" she says scrunching up her nose at the thought.

"Not that he lied, just that…that that stuff didn't last that long," I say carefully.

"But if you just adopted him three years ago, and he's thirteen years old, that leaves…" she begins.

"You can cut out the subtraction," I mutter.

"Unless he isn't thirteen," she says locking his eyes on me, "Do aliens grow quickly Mr. O'Neill?"

"Oh for crying out loud!" I say. I sit down on the bed. "Alright, I'm telling you this even though I really shouldn't. I'm telling you partly because you won't believe me anyway, partly because I feel like I can trust you, and partly because if you do tell, no one will believe you," I say.

"The joys of childhood," she responds. Hey this kid is almost sarcastic enough to fit in with this family!

"Johnny is sort of my clone. His genes were messed with quite a bit. There is this race of aliens who are invisible to us. Most of them are friendly, a few wanted to hurt us, so the friendly ones sent us a warning. But it's hard to warn someone when they can't see or hear you. So they made Johnny-a human, but one with a brain capable of perceiving their species. Either they failed their human DNA class, or the natural consequences of extra eyesight and hearing is sickness, because Johnny was pretty messed up."

"So where did he grow up? With the aliens?" Becca interrupts.

"Yeah, but the grow up thing was pretty fast," I say. "He was only there for a couple of months. They have a way of aging people rapidly. They would have kept aging him, but he'd gotten as old as he could get…" I say. Becca's eyes are wet. I think I'm doing this wrong, but since I'm not supposed to be doing this at all I don't suppose there is a real wrong way to do it. "We…found a way to save him that meant he had to go live with Sam's father…far away."

Becca's eyes meet mine, "Sam's an alien?"

"Well her father is part alien without her being an alien. It's pretty complicated, and I don't want to give you nightmares," I say.

That was without a doubt the wrong thing to say. She puffs herself up with pride and says, "I'm a big girl, I can handle it."

"I'm sure you are. Still not going to tell you. Anyway Johnny used be part alien, and that's how he got healed. Only recently did he shed the part alien part and come to live with us," I finish.

I can tell something is disturbing her, and I'm trying to figure out exactly which part of my story is guilty.

"So Johnny is like three then?" she asks.

Oh, it's the 'I'm in love with a toddler part'. Not the alien or clone parts, but the fact that her crush is a baby.

"A gaggle of philosophers could spend a life time debating about Johnny's age, sweetheart. In some ways he is three. I mean he's existed for just over three years. The way he attaches to people, it isn't like a thirteen year old. Not like a three year old either, it's complicated. In a lot of way though, Johnny is older. His body looks like that of a thirteen year old, even though it hasn't been around that long. His mind is like that of a much older person," I say.

"Yeah, no kidding, you should hear some of the stuff that kid thinks up!" she exclaims. Johnny is a deep thinker, no one can deny that. She sits quietly for a second, "So he doesn't want to see me?" she asks.

"I think he's freaking out, because he told you things that no one is supposed to know about him. He doesn't know that his father is the one that is really and truly letting the cat out of the bag," I say with a grin.

"We were really good friends," she says slowly. "I mean I thought we were really good friends, but I had no idea who he was."

"You were really good friends, and he wanted to tell you. In fact he probably still does. I bet he could give you a much better explanation of all the things that we just talked about," I say encouraging her.

"But he doesn't want to talk to me," she says.

"I bet you he will want to now," he says.

And after I've given Johnny the ok to spill his guts to the girl I look at the two of them talking. Well, I wanted to see about getting someone for Johnny to talk about the trauma in his life to. It looks like I accomplished my goal. Not in the way I would have expected, but still.

June 2001

"I still can't believe it!" Sam says.

"'Bout freaking time! Is all I have to say," I say. Sam is getting ready for her promotion ceremony. I, being her husband, was not allowed to put her up for promotion, although lord knows she deserved it. She's fidgeting about the mirror and being all girly. It's a side of Sam I've known about since our sixth or seventh date, but which I have never quite grown accustom to.

"I don't even think it was me who did it," she says whipping the lipstick off her mouth in frustration deciding that shade, like the past three, was not quite right for the occasion.

"Come on Sam, you have saved the world how many times?" I ask.

"If they gave out promotions every time someone saved the world the SGC would be full of five star generals. They'd have to start inventing new ranks!" she says.

Sam's modesty is pretty absurd. I've been trying to convince her of that ever since I heard about her upcoming promotion a few weeks ago. "Sam the Air Force sent you up in a ship to blow up an asteroid. You couldn't do it because the asteroid was made of some material the Air Force didn't expect. They gave you no plan B. You invented a plan B which involved," I'm waiting for her to fill in the rest, but she's too modest to do even that, "That involved enveloping the asteroid in a hyperspace window created by a ship and passing through the earth. I don't even understand how it's possible, and you thought of it and did it on the fly. The rest of the planet had weeks to plan how to save earth and they struck out. You have a couple of seconds, and you hit a home run. If they DIDN'T give you a promotion for that I would have to conclude they were insane," I say.

My speech seems to have given her confidence. Or at least it distracted her long enough to make her decide on a shade of lipstick. "I still don't think it was me," she says thoughtfully.

"Let me guess…Kawalsky came up with the whole thing," I tease.

"I don't mean I don't think I was the one who came up with the idea, Jack. I just mean I don't think I'm the reason it worked." I narrow my eyes at her, "Don't you ever feel like someone is taking care of us? Protecting us? Making things that have a 1 in a hundred billion chance of working come off without a hitch?" she asks.

"I'm not that great at statistics," I say.

"Don't you ever think we're awfully lucky?" she asks turning around and offering me the two halves of a necklace.

I clasp it while nodding. I remember she has her back to me and I add, "Yeah, we're pretty lucky," but I mean personally. T o have a wife like that, kids like mine-lucky.

"Do you think the Asgard are involved?" Sam asks.

What? With my family? No wait, my thoughts went somewhere without the rest of the conversation, "Involved in what?"

"Involved in our luck Jack," she says turning to face me.

"I don't know," I'd never thought of that. Thor watching us that closely creeped me out a little. Hopefully, it was just off world.

"Could be the Ancients too," she says.

"Did you ever consider that you might just be that awesome?" I ask her. She looks at me for a long time.

"Thank you, Jack," she mutters. I move in to kiss her, "Jack, the lipstick!" she cries in horror.

"Yes, Colonel O'Neill!" I say with a solute.

"Not quite yet, General," she says.

"Give it an hour, Major."


	15. Duplicates

Sam's POV

February 2002

I've been lucky since I come to the SGC. There have been very few missions I came back from needing to curl up and cry. This is defiantly one of those missions. We lost Daniel. No, I'm the commander of SG-1, so I lost Daniel.

Jack smiles at us as we come through the Stargate. He's trying to make us feel comfortable. But the smile doesn't reach his eyes. He already knows something really bad has happened.

"Didn't you leave here in a ship?" he asks. I can't respond. All I can think about is Daniel's three little babies. Oh God, Sha're. I hope I'm not the one to tell Sha're. But I know I have to be. That's what you do when you are in command of someone. "And by the way, where is Daniel?" Jack asks.

"The replicators…" I begin, but I can't finish my explanation of what happened to Daniel. Replicators have to be the worst thing I've faced since we started going through the gate. We're talking robots whose only goal is to make more robots. You get one of these things on a planet, and you can kiss your butt goodbye. To make things even more fun they have taken up looking like humans. And they are led by a copy of me. There former leader had a crush on me. When I told him no, he just made a copy. Like we didn't have enough Sam's in the universe already! Jack's eyes go soft. "Ok, SG-1 report to the infirmary, briefing at 1800," he says. I start to head to the infirmary, but he grabs my hand, "Sam…" he says.

"I have to go to the infirmary, those are my orders, sir," I say. I don't need special treatment. I'm a warrior. I'm a soldier.

"Sam, why don't you come to my office for a little bit," he says in a voice that doesn't belong to a General. No, this voice is one hundred percent my husband.

"I am fine, SIR," I say.

"Damn it Sam!" he whispers, "He was my friend too. Did it occur to you I might need my wife as badly as you need your husband?"

I nod my head, and follow him to his office. There we hug each other, and he gets from me the details of Daniel's disappearance. It's actually much easier this way than in a briefing. We comfort each other for the better part of an hour, half of the time until the briefing. Then I head to the infirmary.

Later that night

When I pull up in front of the Littlefield house Davy throws flings himself into the van as rapidly as he always does.

"Baby, can you go back into the house and play with Hess for a little bit, I have to talk to Sha're," I say.

He looks at me, "Everything ok, Mom?"

"Don't worry," I say.

"That wasn't exactly an answer Mom," he says, "Is Dad ok?" he asks his voice is frantic.

"Your father is fine," I say.

"But Hess's isn't?" he asks. I glance at him in the rear view mirror.

"Let her Mom tell her, ok babe," I say.

We both get out of the car, and I feel like each of my feet weigh a million pounds as I slowly plod my way to the door.

"Sha're," I say with a smile. I don't know what gave it away, but her eyes go into panic, and she lowers herself on to a chair.

"Hess baby, take her siblings into the other room please," she says. But Sha're doesn't even look at her daughter as she speaks.

Davie picks up Pen'dra. Hess kneels next to Aki, "Aki, it is time to go in the other room," she says.

"No," he responds. Hess, starts to talk again, but Sha're says, "First bedroom, then candy," and hands Hess a chocolate bar. Aki takes the bribe and the children exit the room.

"He's dead," Sha're say the second they are out of earshot. Her voice has certainly about it. A cold desperate certainly.

"No," I say. She turns to me with eyes full of hope, "Or at least we don't know that."

"Who has him?" she asks.

"Replicators," I say.

She closes her eyes, "How did it happen?"

"Beamed away," I say, because I know she doesn't need the details, she may think she needs the details, but she doesn't.

"Where is he?" she asks.

"On a replicator ship," I say.

"Where in the universe?" she asks.

"Bode's galaxy," I say. I'm going to answer her questions even if they don't make a whole lot of sense.

"Is that a long way away?" she asks.

"Yes," I say.

She closes her eyes.

"We haven't given up, Sha're. We don't give up on our people, and Daniel is one of our best," I say.

She nods.

"Catherine is going to be here in about," I glance at my watch, "five minutes. Jack already told her."

Sha're nods.

"Do you want me to tell your kids?" I ask. She breaks down into sobs. I hold her, "It's going to be ok. Sha're it's going to be ok."

I will get her husband back.

Later on

Jack looks old. I've always known that he was older than me, but he's never before looked old to me. He doesn't know I'm standing here watching him, so I get to see the way he looks when I'm not around. He looks bent, and worried, and old.

"Sir," I say.

He turns his eyes to me with a ghost of a smile which doesn't reach his eyes. "Sam, how did it go?"

I look at him.

"Stupid question," he says giving me a quick hug.

"How are things here?" I ask.

"Peachy," he says with every drop of sarcasm he has in him, "Teal'c is off trying to defend some shrine form Gou'ald attack. Then we discover this shrine is more than pretty décor. It turns out there is some ancient weapon there that we need to destroy, because Annubis wants to destroy everyone in the galaxy with it. You dad wants you to go help."

"Ok, dial it up, sir," I say.

"Sam, you've had a pretty tough day already…"

"Jack, you promised me you were going to treat me as soldier and not as a wife when we were at work. Otherwise I never would have come back after you were promoted. So cut the crap and send me though the gate."

He nods his head, "Walter, dial Dakara," he says.

"Ah, the original," the Jack who now calls himself Jon says.

"Hi," says the Sam who prefers the name Samantha. She gives me a hug, which is weird for both of us.

"Sammy," Dad says. Both of us turn toward him. "Ah…Sam," he clarifies, and gives me a quick hug. "The other Sammy figured out how to get to the weapon."

"So I'm just here to provide the big boom?" I ask.

"Actually we've decided not to blow it up," Samantha says, "Dad" oh that was weird, "thinks we might be able to modify it in order destroy all of the replicators."

"Well, that would be great!" I say.

"The downside being we have to get help from that snakehead Ba'al," Jon mutters. It's weird to think that this teenager hates Ba'al for the same reason that my husband does. That he too remembers to the torture-the multiple deaths.

"What does Ba'al have to do with this?" I ask.

"We need to dial every gate in the galaxy at exactly the same time," Samantha says.

"Right," I say. "So what can I do to help?" I ask.

"We need to calibrate this machine to match the wave length of the gun Jack used to destroy the replicators," Samantha says.

I get down to work. I notice that Dad is holding the back of his neck a lot.

"Are you ok Dad?" I ask. "You don't look to good."

"Selmak just feels a little bit under the weather," he says, "Samantha could you come here for a second?" he asks.

She walks up, "I need Pu'trah." That is the name of the sybiot inside of my clone.

"Just tell me what information you need. I can access Pu'trah's memories," she says. There is a look of panic in her eyes.

"I just need Pu'trah to work on this for a second, I'm going to sit down and rest," he says.

"I'll do it," we both say. Each of us take an arm, and sit him down. We don't know exactly what is wrong with him, but we can tell that our Dad is seriously sick.

Jon is hovering around Samantha looking really worried. But he doesn't look like he's worried about Dad. He looks like he's worried about Samantha.

"Pu'trah isn't coming out…" he says.

"Of course, not Jack, we can do this without the Tok'ra," Samantha says, and he calms down.

"What's going on?" Dad says glancing between their two faces.

"Tell him," Samantha says to her 'mate' (the Tok'ra don't have marriage per say, and their bodies are too young for an earth marriage, so they haven't got married).

Jon grins, "Uh…Samantha is having a baby. So you can't talk to Pu'trah for about eight more months."

"What?" I ask.

"When a Tok'ra or a Gou'ald host has a kid the symbiot can't take control. If they do it causes early labor. And really early labor is a miscarriage," Dad clarifies.

"Ok, right," I smile and give Jon a hug, "Well congratulations," I say. I hope I look happy. But in truth I'm not particularly happy. Her body is fourteen years old. I don't think it's particularly healthy for a fourteen year old to give birth. I understand why they are doing this. They miss our kids. They only get to see the children they think of as there's every couple of months when they make a trip to earth. That's got to be killing them, and they want to cover up the pain by having kids of their own. But I'm not liking this, because this kid…it will be genetically my kid, and I'm only going to get to see it every couple of months when they are at home. I want them not to have a kid for the same reason they want one.

Dad tries to stand up.

"Oh, no you don't, sit back down and rest, we've got this covered," I say placing my hand on his shoulder.

"You need a Tok'ra to assist…" he begins.

Jon tilts his head down and Ja'bar takes over. "Luckily, you have one."

Dad nods his head and leans back against the wall as Jon walks over by his pregnant mate.

"Dad, what is wrong?" I ask, because I have a feeling that something pretty serious is going on with my father right now.

"Selmak is dying, Sam," he says softly.

"Oh God Dad, I'm so sorry. It was horrible when Jolinar died, and I barely knew her," I say.

"He's trying to save me, but I think he should stick around as long as he can and finish the weapon, because the whole galaxy…" he begins.

"Let him do his thing Dad, we've got this covered. You need to trust…your kids."

He smiles, "Two daughters, two sons in law, one son, one daughter in law, and eight grand kids!"

"See, fourteen reasons to let that snake keep you alive," Jon says turning from his place by the machine.

"They could probably use your help over there, Sam," he says.

"You going to be alright?" I ask him using a look I learned from Teal'c to get the truth out of people. He nods, and I believe him. Confidant that my father is going to be ok, I give him a forehead kiss-the one he gave me, the one I give my kids-I turn back to saving the universe.

Three hours later

As soon as we get through the gate I see Jack's face. It's really tired. Whatever was happening on earth while I was fighting the replicators had to be just as bad as what was going on there.

"I'm assuming you got the weapon to work," he says.

"How could you guess?" I tease.

"I got a clue when every replicator in the galaxy got blown to smithereens! Good job Sammy!" he explains.

"Actually it was a lot of Jon and Ja'bar," I say.

"Ok, then I'll claim credit for this one," he says with a lopsided grin.

"Good try sir," I laugh.

"But I thought that Selmak, and Pu'trah were the experts on this sort of thing," he says arching an eyebrow.

"Well, Selmak is…dead," I say. Jack's eyes are huge with panic, "Dad's fine. Actually…he's coming back to earth, Jack. The Tok'ra offered him another sybiot, but there are none available right now. He could hang out with the Tok'ra and wait for another one, but he figures our clones can be ambassadors, and he can retire to earth, with frequent visits to the Tok'ra. After all he wants to see his grandkids."

"That's a good reason for staying on earth," he says with a smile.

"And visiting the Tok'ra," I add.

"What?" Jack explains.

"Our clones are having a baby," I say.

"Is that possible?" he asks.

"Yes, it's possible. Apparently the Tok'ra can't take control of the body for the duration of the pregnancy, but it's possible."

"Then how come there aren't a whole bunch of Tok'ra babies?" he asks.

"Because most Tok'ra aren't willing to play dead for nine months to have a baby who isn't genetically related to them, and who will either die long before them or will share a body with one of their friends. Our clones just seem to value the whole having kids things more than the average Tok'ra host, and got their hosts to give in."

"Ew," he says.

"What?" I ask.

"She's fourteen," he says crinkling up his nose.

"So is he," I say.

"Way too young!" he exclaims.

"They are not mentally too young to have a kid," I point out.

"Still," he says.

There is a pause, "Any word from Daniel?" I ask.

He looks quickly at the wall, "No," he says.

"Sir, right before the replicators were destroyed did you see them…"

"Freeze?" he asks looking right at me.

I nod.

"You think it was him?" he asks.

"I hope so," I say quietly.

Two days later

I'm working with Walter to get a bug out of the dialing computer when I hear a scream from my husband's office. I run in to see what is the matter, and then slowly back out.

"Walter, could you call Sha're for me, please?" I ask.

"What you want to tell her you just saw her husband naked?" my husband laughs coming out of his office, and securing covering for Daniel. An Air Force flag, I'll have to tease him about that later.

"No, I thought she'd like to know that he was still alive. How on earth are you still alive?" I ask Daniel as he leaves Jack's office with a flag around his waist.

"Uh…remember Oma Dasala?" he asks.

Jack nods, "Yeah, glowy ascended thing."

"She offered me abstention. I took her up on the offer to avoid death. Then I broke some cosmic rules and ended up back here," he grins.

"Good to see ya!" Jack says giving him a hug. I settle for a slap on the back, because he still is naked from the waist up.

Walter hands me the phone, and I pass it over to Daniel. His eyes are glittering as he says, "Hello." There is a squeal of excitement which causes Daniel to pull the phone away from his ear. God I'm glad that he's back.

March 2002

Where am I? Why does my head hurt? I put my hand on the part of my head which is giving me the most pain. I am relieved when I pull my hand away and do not see the sight of blood. Probably still a concussion. I should have my team come look at it. Where is my team? Where am I?

It looks like I am on some kind of a space ship. What is the last thing that I remember? That's right ,we were on a mission on Prometheus. The ship was being attacked. The order was made to evacuate. That's it. My next memory is waking up.

I look around. All the escape pods are gone. Damn. No team. I'd better get up, figure out how to get help, figure out what is going on. Even the first and easiest of these steps proves to be quite the challenge. As soon as I sit up I am overcome with dizziness. I lean back against the cold medal wall of the spaceship until it passes. I can feel myself getting tired. I'd better move, this feels like the kind of head injury you don't want to fall asleep during. I pull myself up. Ok, get help. I'd better start by getting to the bridge.

No one is here. I hadn't really expected anyone to be here. I can't figure out why I am still here. You think they would be smart enough to take the unconscious Colonel with them. Damn them!

Ok, communications. Page everyone to the bridge. Try earth. Random paging of the weird mist we are in. I didn't really think any of that would work.

Ok, time to get out of the mist. Hyper drive is a no go. Sub-light engines are acting like they are stuck in thick mud. What is this mist?

I see a flash of someone of the corner of my eye, and hear a fragment of… "Twinkle, Twinkle"? You have to love head injuries.

A few hours later

"Sam" a voice says. I turn and see Daniel, but I know it isn't him.

"Hey figment of my imagination," I greet him.

"Sam why are you still running those simulations? You need to stop looking at this problem in the same way. You have to think out of the box." I ignore him. I have to focus. I have to get home to my babies, and I only have until this damn head injury makes me pass out. I need to get home to them.

Holy Hannah! There is a little girl right there! I follow her down the hall before she disappears. Damn, I should have predicted that was going to happen! Head injury. Don't try to save kids when you have a head injury.

Later

"MajorCarter, you must not sleep," I look up, and see Teal'c's tattoo. How could you be safer than in Teal'c's arms? I shut my eyes again.

"MajorCarter," he says more firmly.

"Not sleeping Teal'c," I mutter.

"You would be more convincing if vertical," he says.

I smile, "I'm sitting up Teal'c. Thanks," it's probably stupid to thank part of your own mind, but what the hell.

Teal'c smiles at me, "MajorCarter I do not think you should continue to try to save yourself."

"What?" Even my imaginary Jaffa had given up on me.

"I do not think you are on this ship at all. I think you are on an alien space ship, and the aliens are manipulating your mind in order to get information."

That was actually a pretty rational theory. But I got distracted. There was this little girl running by, and she looks familiar.

"Hey!" I holler after her.

She turns to me and smiles, and I know that smile. But it can't be.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"I'm Grace," she says.

"I have a daughter named Grace," I say.

She giggles, "I know."

"She's a lot younger than you," I say.

She tilts her head, the blond curls spilling over her shoulder screaming her impossible identity at me, "Is she?"

"Gracie, how could that be you?" I ask.

"Mom," she giggles. Then she starts to run around the corner. By the time I get around the corner she's already gone. Why am I chasing a hallucination of my daughter who is triple her age? Head injury, that's why.

Later

"Jack, I was wondering when you would show up," I say.

"Wouldn't miss your hallucination Sam," he says. He's even sarcastic when he isn't real.

"Have you seen our daughter around here?" I ask.

"Which one?" he asks looking around.

"Grace," I say.

"Haven't seen her," he says.

"I feel like she has something to tell me," I say.

"Two year olds don't have great philosophical things to say," he mutters.

"She's not two," I say.

"Uh…I'm not good at math Carter, but I'm pretty sure Grace is two. I remember the party."

"No, I know the real Grace is two, but the Grace on this ship is like six or so," I say.

"So, not our Grace," he says.

"Oh, she's our daughter," I say.

He raises an eyebrow.

"Those curls, your eyes. No one has eyes like you, except your kids," I say.

"Too bad none of them got your eyes Sam. What kind of luck did we have that they all ended up with boring brown?"

"Damn good luck Jack, you have amazing eyes! Deep eyes," I say.

He grins, and leans forward conspiratorially, "Don't tell anyone about the deep part," he says.

What am I doing flirting with a hallucination of my husband when I should be focusing on getting back to the real version? Head injuries.

"Jack lets continue this at home," I say.

He tilts his head at me, and I see Grace tilting her head the exact same way behind him.

"Grace!" I say. Jack turns to where I am looking. It is obvious he didn't see her, but Jack fades out of focus until all I can see is Gracie.

"Sweetie, are you ok?" I ask.

She laughs again, "I'm fine Mommy."

"Ok, what do you have to tell me?" she asks.

"Nothing, I just want you to blow bubbles with me." My stomach sinks. My kids asked me to blow bubbles the other day. All five of them were out in the yard with Jack. Laughing and playing. I was the stick in the mud inside with the computer. Research. Physics. Unimportant things.

"Sweetie, I promise Mommy is going to play bubbles with you when I get home. Right now I need to figure out how to get home."

"Mommy you HAVE to play bubbles with me!" she whines.

"Gracie, you aren't real. I'm going to save myself, and play with the real Gracie." I'm trying to reason with my hallucination. What can I say, head injury.

"Mommy, now," and she puts that little foot down, and she seems like my Gracie- my two year old, stubborn as the tide, Gracie.

"Ok, Whatever," I say taking the bubble wand from her hands. "You know that bubbles form, because of surface tension…"

"Boring," Jack's daughter. Through and through. She pushes the bubble wand up to my mouth. She starts singing the "Twinkle, Twinkle little star song." In English, in Irish, in Arabic. I've never sung that song to my children. It's my mother's song. My dead mother's song. I wonder if Jack has. I wonder if the real Grace, or Davie or Johnny, or Charlie, or Cass knows that song.

"And the traveler in the dark, thanks you for your tiny spark," she sings. I see Grace's face distorted through the rainbow in the bubble before my eyes. Maybe she had to say goodbye.

"How could he see where to go, if you did not twinkle so?" she sings with a twinkle in her eye.

I run back to the bridge.

"Where are you going?" she asks in a carefree voice.

"It's complicated," I say.

"Try me," she says. She's my daughter.

"I'm going to save myself with a bubble," I say.

She grins a conspiratorial grin, "How?" Just like she didn't know the whole time.

"The hyper-drive won't fully engage because of the cloud, but maybe it doesn't have to. If I can dial down the power flow from the hyper-drive emitter, theoretically I should be able to create a partial shift into hyperspace, essentially taking the ship out of the cloud's space-time. Hopefully just enough to eliminate its effects on the sub-light engines."

"Neat," she says.

"Yep," I say. I do what needs to be done to get to safety. I'm reaching the bubble wand to my face when suddenly Jack appears in full dress uniform. Star on his shoulder, sunglasses on his face, and sarcastic smile on his lips. He takes the wand from my mouth, and starts kissing.

"Grace!" I protest.

He snaps his fingers and she disappears, "ALWAYS wanted to do that," he says.

"What, make our kids disappear?" I ask.

"No," he says with mock annoyance. "Do magic," he tries to kiss me again.

"The crew!" I protest.

He glances at his watch, "We've got another six minutes," he says.

"And if they come in early?" I ask.

"I'm a hallucination remember?" he says.

"Kinda the problem," I point out.

"Head wound," he says pointing to my noggin, "You can get away with anything with a head wound. Besides, I've always had the secret fantasy of making out in outer space."

"Really? So have I!" I exclaim.

"Of course you have, this is your hallucination." This time when he moves in he meets with success. The crew announces their presence some time later with a clearing of their throat. I pull myself away from Jack who is just air.

"Permission to remove myself of duty," I say.

"As long as you are heading to the infirmary," the captain says.

"Head wound," I explain.

The next day

Back on earth

"Jack," I say swimming out of the fuzz in my head. He is leaning back in his chair, but the moment he hears my voice he is on the edge of his chair twisting a lock of my hair away from my face. It reminds me of Grace, and the curly locks which were so much longer in my hallucination.

"How do you feel?" he asks with worry creasing his face.

"Like I have a massive head wound," I reply.

"Good," he says.

"Good?" I ask.

"Well they said you were out of touch with reality, when they first found you. If you feel like you have a massive head wound you must be back at it."

"They didn't find me, I found them," I mutter glaring at him.

Jack laughs-hard-for a long time, "That's my Sam."

"So who did you think you were making out with when you found them?" he asks.

"A hallucination of you," I state.

"You knew it was a hallucination?" he sounds surprised.

"Yes," I say drawing out the word.

"Then why exactly were you making out with a hallucination?" he asks.

"You weren't there, General," I say playfully.

"You don't normally make out with me at work," he says. Yeah, not normally as in never ever ever.

"Well, the hallucination of you made such a good argument," I say.

"Which was?" he asks.

"I've always wanted to kiss a guy in space," I say.

"Hum, we might have to fix that one, Sam," he says thoughtfully.

"Jack, we can't really…" I start, but he cuts me off.

"But you did with imaginary me!" he teases.

"What can I say," I pause for dramatic effect, "head injury!" When he's done laughing I say, "Jack what are the chances you could smuggle our kids and some bubbles in?"

"I think the nurses might tan my hide for turning the floor into a soapy occupational hazard," he says, "Why?"

"I just feel like I should blow more bubbles," I say with a smile.

May 2001

"Jack, I really don't think this is necessary. We don't have to go out for our anniversary. I would be perfectly happy with a night in with the kids," I protest. I've been pretty serious about kid time, ever since the weird thing with my head on the Prometheus. I've even taken to singing the three youngest to sleep with "Twinkle, Twinkle" every night. I'd really rather not leave them for a night.

"Trust me, you will not be saying that once you find out what I have planned," he says mysteriously. Twelve years I've been married to this man. What a ride!

"Are you ready Sam?" he says.

"Yes, now Jack will you please tell me where…" and right in the middle of the sentence I'm beamed away. We're on Thor's ship. Flowers everywhere. Jack has lit candles on an Asgard ship, I'm sure Thor thought that was primitive. Way more primitive than our "projectile weapons" he's always mocking/enjoying. And there are rose pedals on the bed. Bed. Wait a second, Asgards don't have beds.

"Jack," I say slowly.

"Yes, Sam," he says with a wicked grin.

"What is this?" I ask.

"I heard that someone had a fantasy about space," he says.

"Yes, kissing, and this has got to be against every regulation there is."

"I'm the General," Jack says, "and besides this is between me and my good friend Thor. No Air Force involved."

"Right, because you totally would have meet Thor without the Air Force," I say.

"You never know, I'm pretty special," Jack loves to break about the Ancient gene.

"Where is our friend anyway?" I ask.

"He beamed himself down to Daniel and Sha're's house for the evening," Jack says.

"Seriously Jack…" I start to protest.

"Asgard bedrooms have…I don't know what you'd call them…star roofs?" he says pressing a button on the wall. The ceiling above the bed rolls back to revel outer space.

I kiss Jack, "this has got to be the most unique, crazy, bizarre anniversary anyone has ever had."

"I try," he says. "We're probably the first humans to do this in space," he says with a grin.

"The universe is infinite, Jack," I remind him.

"Fine," he says rolling his eyes, "The first earthlings than!"

"I just better now show up in any history books, Mr. O'Neill," I say.

"Agreed," he says.


	16. Down Low

Jack's POV

September 2002

Off world

No question about it: Sam is going to kill me. I took another download of the ancients. It was pretty dumb. I knew what it was going to do to me. But I also knew that if I didn't do it the planet earth was going to be royally screwed over as in obliterated as in no more. So I took one for the planitory team for my planet.

That doesn't change the fact that my wife is going to kill my self-sacrificing ass. Well death by Sam sounds like more fun than death by ancient download, so be it.

God, my kids. Daddy as a hero suddenly doesn't sound so great, does it? There is a hole in my heart whenever I think of them. Think of what I'm going to be putting them through. All the worse because…I choose this.

I'll have to write them something to explain. Write them because it's easier than saying it, but also because they can read it over and over once I'm gone. Five letters, full of love. I'll have to do it fast before they get all clocked up with ancient languages they'll have to have their Uncle Danny translate for them. I want them to know what their Daddy meant to say to them.

I know Jacob will help Sam take care of them. He loves his grandkids. I know I can count on Catherine, Ernest, and George. The people who were there for me when Sam was gone. They'll be there for her.

Maybe Thor will save me, after I save the world, I sure hope so.

I step through the event horizon.

Her face is already worried. I'm not going make the worry go away. Just switch what she is worried about. Change it from her planet to her husband.

"Did you find anything that might save earth from certain doom?" she asks. God, her jokes are even more sarcastic and dark than mine. What the hell was I thinking giving this up? Is this planet even worth it?

She looks at my face, "Jack, we'll figure something out. We always do, together."

And I can't tell her. I'll just wait until she figures it out on her own. By then I'll be far enough gone and have lost enough English she'll feel bad if she yells at me.

Daniel gives me a glare. I still don't tell her. "Sam…we found another ancient repository," Daniel begins.

It's the first time Sam has beat me up since the time Davy almost shot himself. She's pounding me with fists, "You stupid, selfish man!" she screams, "Did you even think about your children?"

I'm furious at her. Not for her anger, she sure as hell has a right to her anger. But at the thought that I didn't even think about my kids, "Yes I did Samantha. I thought it would be nice if they got to find out what it is like to be an adult. Thought it would be nice if they got to have a planet."

She falls against my chest silently, "It'd be nice if they had a father too," she says.

I hold her close, ruffle her hair, kiss her forehead, "Yeah, about that, would you mind calling Thor. I want this stuff out of my head about half a second after I've saved the planet. I defiantly want to be coming home," I say.

She pulls away, "You're still a stupid selfish man," she grumbles.

"No doubt Samantha," and I catch her eye, "And I am really sorry. I hope…I hope I don't leave you to do it alone." She's turning away trying not to let me see her tears, "But if I do Sam, you don't have to stay alone. I want you to be happy, and…"

"Don't you dare even talk about that, Jack!" she says.

"But Sam, I want you to know that if I die…" I begin.

"Jack, after you…nobody, and I mean nobody, is ever going to compare," she whispers. She really doesn't need to whisper considering the gate room respectfully cleared out at her first emotional outburst.

"I don't want you to be lonely," I say locking her eyes. This isn't the kind of thing you put in a letter, and she has to let me say it.

"You have given me five kids Jack. I'm never going to be lonely!" she says. And I almost believe her. I'll probably add it to the letter though. I want Sam to be happy. Right now I need to believe that Sam will be happy again one day. Then I don't feel like quite such an ass.

Five minutes later

The locker room of the SGC

"Jack," Daniel says, and I hear suppressed emotion in his voice. I'm not going to like this.

"Yeah," I say. I consider trying out some ancient. But that joke would be in poor taste, even for me.

"Why did you do that?" he asks softly.

Oh geez. Lay on the Danny guilt. "Thought this world was worth saving," I mutter.

"You didn't have to do it, Jack," he says.

I slam the locker shut. I've got enough stuff with my family. I don't need to deal with his emotional roller coaster as well. "I didn't see any other options, Danny boy."

"I would have done it, Jack," he says. Shit, he's dead serious. The idiot.

"Just a different set of fatherless kids, Danny," I say.

He flinches, "You have more kids…"he begins.

"It's not a numbers game," I say starting to leave the locker room.

He grabs my arm, "Jack," he says locking my arms, "I'm going to look after them." And I know he's serious. Serious in a way he probably couldn't be even be ten years ago. Serious in a way only a father can be.

I feel tears coming to my eyes, "Daniel thanks." I say pulling him into a hug.

"I will care for your offspring as well, O'Neill," I hear a Jaffa proclaim as he envelops me into a hug. They haven't been my team for a long time now. But they still have my six.

A few days later

Aboard the Odyssey

It's probably a good thing that I took the download of knowledge instead of Daniel. It's like swimming though a puddle of knowledge. He'd be easily distracted. I can see Atlantis. Man they had an awesome video games.

Focus. Weapons. You need to find weapons.

Six letters left on the table when I went to the SGC this morning. So early I knew none of them would wake up. I kissed all of them on the forehead. Told them I loved them one last time aloud, even if they weren't going to remember it. I told them in the letter. But I had to tell them aloud anyway.

Sam woke up when I kissed her.

"Jack?" she asks.

I'm not actually sure if it's going to come out in English or Ancient. I'm beyond the point of trusting my voice. But I tell her anyway, "I love you."

She sits up, and flings her arms around me pulling me close to her. She's sobbing, "Don't go Jack, please, don't go." But she knows that doesn't make any sense. If I don't go I won't save the world, and I'm still going to die.

I try to tell her I love her again, but this time it comes out as, "Ego amare." I feel like a jerk. I am just pointing out to her exactly how far gone I really am.

"Ego amare, Jack, forever," she says back. And she kisses me-not a gentle goodbye kiss either. But a desperate, passionate kiss, "That should tide you over until you come back," she says with a smile.

Focus. You have to find a weapon.

"Jack?" Daniel asks uncertainly. We're in a ship going to a planet. He doesn't know why we're going here. I'm not quite sure either. But I think it has to do with—batteries?

I look at Daniel, trying to figure out if I can tell him something. Something to let him know what we're doing. Something to comfort him. Anything.

"Ego amare Sam," I say with a smile.

"I know buddy," he says, and he looks a little less worried, "We haven't got word from the Asgard yet."

I've figured out how to save the world. Planet. Batteries. Antarctica. Plug the battery in. Sit in chair. Shoot the ass holes who would hurt my kids.

Focus. How can I save myself?

Swimming through a sea of ancient information. Fourteen ships left the base. Seeding the galaxy…

Focus. Antarctica is cold. Last time I was there I almost froze.

Froze. My eyes pop open. I tap Daniel's shoulder, "cor gelatum" I say.

"What about your soul?" Daniel asks.

I shake my head. I'm trying to tell him to freeze me. All ancient outposts have cryogenic chambers. He has to know what I'm planning before we get there. I might be too out of it to do it myself.

"Cor gelatum," I say pointing to myself.

His eyes go all soft, "I disagree, you have a very warm soul, Jack," he says.

Stupid man. But there is nothing I can do about it. I'll just have to say alive long enough to put myself in the tube.

The ancient plague. It hurt. Bubbling flesh. Open sours. High fever. Hallucinations. Walking dead. Delirium.

Focus. Get battery. Shoot bad guys. Freeze self. Get home.

Home.

December, 2002

Aboard Thor's ship

What is that? It feels like my brain is being poked with a stick. "Hello," that was echoy. Almost like the time Thor was talking to us through his ship. Oh great, my brain is copied on a ship? If so, they better put me in a body that is the same age as the one I was in at my last memory. Last memory-freezing myself.

No…my body is still here. The computer is just the stick poking my brain.

"O'Neil, Thor is removing the knowledge of the Ancient's from your brain," I hear Teal'c's comforting voice. I see Thor, but when he is done with the process he hustles out of the room. The Asgard always have important things to do.

"Your kids will be glad to see you," Daniel's voice says.

How long have I been frozen? I start to panic. How much did I miss? How much did they miss? I can't ask. My brain is still full of…

Ah…that's better.

"How long?" I choke out.

"You have been in a state of suspended animation for a little more than four months," Teal'c supplies.

I smile. Four months isn't that long, "Tell Sam, I'm alright," I say. I don't want her to worry for a single second more.

I hear a smile in Daniel's voice, "We'll be back on earth in four hours, and you'd be a lot more convincing if you'd open up your eyes." I pop my eyes open obediently. "What happened to the kids while I was gone?"

"Damon broke up with Cassie," he says.

I sit up straight, "I'll kill him! How is she?" I shout.

Daniel laughs, "She's fine Jack. She took it hard for a couple of days. Charlie was great to her. Sat there when she cried, told her there was more fish in the sea, made brownies. You got a good kid there," he says with a smile.

I grin. Still worried about Cassie, but way less.

"Davie started high school work," he continues.

"What?" I had to have heard him wrong, "He's only ten years old!"

Daniel grins, "Your son's smart, Jack. Don't know how that happened. Any chance Sam cheated on you?"

"Not a chance in hell, Danny boy, the kid just lucked out with getting all her genes." I tease back.

"High school?" I ask again shaking my head. All my kids are growing up way too fast. All except Gracie.

"Grace?" I ask.

He flinches. I panic. "No, Jack, she's fine. I didn't mean to worry you, just…she's running."

My stomach falls.

"And talking in sentences."

I shut my eyes. "What was her first sentence?"

Daniel bites his lip.

"Daniel!" I warn stretching out the word.

"Exactly," he says laughing.

"What?" I ask.

"Grace's first sentence was "Daniel come here". Actually something more like "Da'el 'um 'ere" but you get the point.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says, and he looks like I'm going to hurt him.

"I'm glad," I say.

"Glad?" he asks. This is definitely not the reaction he was expecting.

"Yeah, it means you kept your promise. It means you were really there for my kids. That means a lot to me," I say with a smile, "Thanks."

The Jaffa puffs his chest, "Young GracieO'Neill also referred to me by name O'Neill."

"That's great T! Thank you for being there for my kids as well."

He gives a low bow.

"Uh, Teal'c also has some pretty big news himself," Daniel says suddenly with a smile.

"What's that?" I ask him.

Teal'c's eyes light up, "There shall shortly be a new addition to my family," he says.

"You're having a baby T? Congratulations!" I exclaim getting out of the Asgard pod thing Thor had me in so I could pat him on the back, and pull him into a big hug.

"So what other big changes happened while I was gone?" I ask.

Teal'c and Daniel glance at one another. "We promised to let the people involved tell the rest of it," Daniel says.

Oh dear, Sam has big news. My mind immediately flies to the thought of a baby. I'm going to have to practice looking excited about that. I love my kids, but seriously five is enough. And I'm getting old. Grace is hard enough to run after. Especially since apparently now she can actually run.

"How is Charlie doing?" I ask.

"Daniel, has already told you that further news must come from the individuals themselves," Teal'c says.

I tilt my head toward him, "Charlie has news?"

"Indeed," he replies.

"I thought it was just Sam," I say.

They glance knowingly at one another. Oh for crying out loud six children! I can't help it I hold my head with my hands.

"What's wrong Jack?" Daniel asks sounding really concerned. Crap! I am going to have to get my crap together before Sam tells me. She's been alone with this for four months. The last time she was pregnant she was alone the whole time. Now she's been without me again. I sure as hell am going to be a rock for her when I get back. So I only have a few hours to get used to the idea of baby number six. Ok, already this is sounding a little bit better. And Cassie and Charlie will be at college in a year, by then the kid will still be small. I mean this won't be so bad.

"Jack?" Daniel asks sounding even more worried than before.

"Just fine, just adjusting," I say.

"There will be more to adjust to soon," Daniel says slapping me on my back. I'm a little bit nauseous. If Sam is four months in she's done with the nauseous part. I missed it again. But I sure as hell and going to be there for the birth. I might even retire. Be a stay at home dad. That sounds good. Be with Gracie and the new baby. Home school Davie-my high schooler.

"You sure you're ok? Maybe Thor left some of your brain in that thing," he says looking at the pod.

"I just have a lot to think about," I say.

Sam is there to meet me when the ship lands. I examine her stomach carefully but discreetly when I get off the ship. She isn't showing, but she wasn't showing with either of our other kids when she was four months along. Ok, so I'm taking her word for it on Gracie. That stupid planet had no cameras, so I don't know what Sam looked like when she was pregnant with Gracie.

"I heard you have some good news," I say it's just the two of us in the car.

She smiles nervously, "I hope you are going to think it is good news."

I'm a little insulted. Not that she isn't right, but I'm still offended that she doesn't think I would be excited about this baby, "Of course, I'm going to think it's great news."

She grins, and lifts her hand off the steering wheel. Oh, that's sweet she's going to tell me by putting her hand on my stomach. That would be a nice way to ease the shock if Daniel and Teal'c hadn't all but spilled the beans. But her hand touches her shoulder. Her oak leafs. Wait not oak leaf-it's a star. My heart stops.

"General Samantha O'Neill?" I ask in a stunned voice.

"Yeah, they gave me your job Jack, but you can have it back. I'll….I'll request…" she stammers.

I wave my hands before myself, "No way, Sam. No! You deserve it! You've earned it! I want you to keep the job. Good for you!"

"No Jack, you earned it to, what are you going to do?" she asks. I can tell by her face she's been worried about this for awhile. Probably since the minute they offered her my job.

"I was thinking about retiring. Besides, you made the right choice," I say smiling and glancing at her stomach, "You have to protect our kids, ALL our kids," I say pointedly, hoping she'll drop the other big news on me soon. I've been preparing my pleasantly surprised face for awhile.

"Yes, it was part of that deal that we would take a safe job if the other one was ever injured. But I knew you were coming back," she says looking into my eyes.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss this for the world," I say giving her stomach another glance.

Her eyes follow mine down, "Did I get fat or something, Jack?"

"No, you can't even tell. And if you could it wouldn't be fat," I say. She looks confused.

I smile, "I kind of figured it out, Sam," I say placing my hand on her stomach.

She still looks confused. Then her eyes get wide. She snaps my hand off her stomach and hisses quietly, "NOT PREGNANT JACK!"

Oh shit! Of course, Daniel and Teal'c were talking about the promotion. I'm an idiot. She looks even more panicked at the idea of another kid than I did. "Sam, I'm so sorry, they were talking about good news, and I just assumed…"

"A promotion Jack! That was the news! They gave me your job! But that isn't enough of a shock for you! You have to throw a baby into the mix! We have five children Jack!" she says.

"I know Sam! I was freaking out! But I thought for sure that is what they were talking about! And I was picturing you all alone and pregnant AGAIN! And I was getting excited, because even though, I was overwhelmed by the idea of six kids, I knew you'd be more so. I was excited for you!"

"Not having six kids," she repeats breathing deeply to calm down.

"Ok, good, how are our FIVE children doing?" I ask.

"Great, excited to have their dad back," she says. I slump down in my chair sudden despair overcoming me. "What the hell is wrong with you Jack?" she asks.

"Nothing," I lie poorly, and I know she isn't going to let me get away with it, so why do I even bother?

She glares at me for as long as she dares before returning her eyes to the road.

"I just had four hours to get attached to hypothetical baby number six," I admit quietly.

"No," she says.

"I'm not saying we should have another kid. I'm just telling you why I'm temporarily a bit sad."

"No," she repeats.

"Sam, we're not going to have six children," I say.

"You're right about that," she says looking out at me from the corner of her eye.

"But I was thinking about retiring and becoming a stay at home dad."

"The answer is still no, Jack," she says warily.

"I am not asking a question, General!" I exclaim in frustration.

"Alright, but Jack, I'm telling you when you DO ask that question, the answer is going to be…"

"No," we say together. But despite all of this I already know. I'm going to have six children. And I am **going** to be there when the sixth one is born.

An hour later

At the O'Neill house

Davy is of course the first of my children to make it into my arms. The child moves at the speed of light.

"How have you been, kiddo?" I ask.

"I'm in high school now," he says.

"I know kid, and I'm **so** proud of you!" I say.

Johnny reaches us next. He climbs onto my lap like a much younger child, "I missed you Daddy," he says.

"You too kid," I say kissing his forehead.

Cassie thinks she's too old for hugs, I correct that erroneous assumption by pulling her onto my lap, "So how are you?" I ask.

"Igotintocollege," she says so fast that is sounds like one word.

I pull her tighter and say, "That is wonderful. I'm proud of you! But I knew you would."

"Actually she got into A LOT of colleges," Charlie corrects.

"So did he! Even more than me!" Cassie says pointing a finger.

"Nice work kid!" I say pulling him close, "Proud of you too. All my kids are extra smart," I say.

Sam hands me Gracie to add to the pile of kids I'm holding. She starts to bawl. "What's wrong?" I ask holding Gracie close.

"Staner! Staner!" she wails trying to push me away.

Cassie plucks her from my lap and rocks her to calm down, "It's ok Gracie, that's not a stranger, it's Daddy!"

"No! Staner!" Gracie insists.

I'm about to join the kid in the tear department. Sam steps in and takes Grace from her big sister. "Gracie come take a walk with Mommy and Daddy ok?" she says calmly. The three of us go off together, and Sam keeps talking me up. Eventually Gracie is in my arms. I look at Sam with joy in my eyes. She glares back at me, "Five children, Jack."

"I'm not asking, General," I reply, "And when I do ask, you will say yes."


	17. Anticipation

A/N: I love my fans. Thanks especially to those who review, and an extra thank you to the ones of you who correct my stupid mistakes! Your commends make my stories better, and appear more rapidly. Thanks!

Sam's POV

January 2003

"Can you explain this to me?" Jack asks handing me a report card.

"This is traditionally a way that teachers…" I begin to joke. But I can see by Jack's face it is not the time. I first glance at the name line to figure out which of our children is in big trouble. Johnny? That doesn't make much sense. I scan down the list of grades. English 99% A plus, Health 100% A, plus Spanish 98% A plus, yep that sounds like our Johnny. Math 48% F, history 65% D, Science 71% C.

"What on earth?" I ask.

"Don't know," Jack says with a shrug, "he threw that at me when he came in the door, ran to his room, and locked himself in. I was worried so I had Davy pick the lock. Johnny was lying in there, face down, but he wouldn't talk to me. Thought you might take a try at it."

I think of all the possible reasons our intelligent-used to be a 1,000 year old alien-child might have for doing poorly. I'm wondering which classes our dear Becca is in. Starring at girls seems to be a pretty middle school reason for not doing well in school. Actually, for his mother it was a pretty college reason to be doing poorly in school. I giggle to myself at the memory. But I can't actually picture my son so distracted by his best friend to get any work done. Practically, since he does still thinks of her as his best friend. Also, if he wanted to stare at her he has plenty of time to do that. They are over at each other's houses all the time.

I sit down on his bed, and don't say anything for awhile. I just rub his back. He's got to be upset by this, and he probably isn't going to explain until he's calmed down a bit.

"Can you just ground me already?" Johnny's voice muffled by the pillows asked.

"Why would I do that?" I ask continuing my backrub.

He turns his head, "That's what happens when kids get bad grades," he informs me.

If he could take sarcasm right now I'd probably say 'well look who is the expert on earth parenting'. But as it is I tell him, "Bad grades in themselves are not a reason to get grounded. If these are honestly the best you can do your father and I are going to be happy with that. There are some really great grades on this report card." I pause, and he looks up, looking really confused, and still pretty worried. "But I'm also pretty surprised and confused by some of these grades, and I honestly don't think they reflect your best effort." His face dives back into a pillow. "Jabar knew math right?" I ask.

"The Tok'ra use base eight," he says.

Of course they do. I knew that. That would make every answer he wrote down wrong. "Ok, so that's an adjustment."

He lifts his face up, "And I was adjusting! The last test I got a B on. I hardly forget anymore, but it's hard, because not only do I have to worry about using the right base, but I have to do EQUATIONS in it."

"Ok, so there is one grade you are not getting into trouble for. We'll put aside some time to practice your basic math facts every night. Tell me about history," I say.

He sits up looking confused at my acceptance, "Uh…I just don't know any of it. It's hard. There is a lot to memorize."

"You read the book, take notes, do your homework, read over your notes, and study for tests?" I ask.

He nods.

"Ok, so they've been learning these same things for seven years, this is your first try at it. Not in trouble for that grade either. But science? Jabar was a professional scientist!"

"Yeah, but not all of that science has been discovered yet. And the science that they teach is just plain wrong. And it turns out that teacher's really don't like having their mistakes pointed out to them," he says in frustration.

"No kid, they really really don't," I said remembering my own schooling experiences. "So another grade excused. We're going to have to spend a few more hours a night on homework, and put in a little more time on weekends. This means less time with Becca, because as much as you call what you are doing "studying" I rarely see a book opened. But you're not in trouble, and in fact," I study his face, "If you wanted to get homeschooled by your father we'd be ok with that. We initially put you in school for socialization. But you have friendships now. And we thought you'd have no trouble with academics. If you wanted to stay home you could work at your own pace. And your father is certainly never going to get angry when you correct him about science."

Jack retired from the Air Force and has spent the last month being a stay at home Dad to Grace and homeschooling Davie. I was a little uncertain he was up for the second task, but he was insulted.

"I did graduate from college, _twice_, as well as high school you know! In fact I used to be YOUR teacher!" he'd exclaimed in offense.

"I do know Jack, but that isn't quite the same thing as homeschooling an incredibly hyperactive and extremely gifted child," I'd said.

"I don't know," he's said slyly, "It did take a little extra effort to get you through my class."

But I defiantly shouldn't have doubted my husband. Not even for a second. He's got Dave not only doing all of his lessons but these freaking amazing enrichment projects which involve things like making a solar oven in the back yard, and making a radio from spare parts of other electronics. Jack even assigned Davie the rather herculean task of teaching Jack how to write a computer program. Then they worked together on a program that mapped all the stars in the galaxy, and what life forms live on the planets orbiting them. The end result was pretty amazing, as well as something that can never leave the house.

Jack's also really great with Gracie. She of course has completely gotten over thinking of her father as a stranger. In fact she will deny that she ever felt that way if you ask her. He sings to her, and talks to her, and reads to her. She also got really jealous of her brother's lessons. So he started giving her her own lessons. At first it was like a joke, something to keep the two year old happy. He would try to teacher her colors. It only took her a few days before she knew them. Then shapes, and onto letters.

He's worried that he's pushing her too hard. But it's only a half an hour a day, and she loves it.

"I don't want to give up on school, just because it's hard," Johnny says stubbornly, bringing me back to the present.

"Oh, trust me your dad is not going to go easy on you. But he could teach you just the stuff you don't know, and you could move through things faster. Maybe finish school even sooner."

"But he isn't going to make it easier?" Johnny asks suspiciously.

"You know what? I promise that when you get a high school diploma from your father it will have been as much work as one from anywhere else. But I'm not promising it's going to be just as hard right away."

Johnny worries his bottom lip with his teeth. "I think I need to talk to Dad," he says.

I nod. Jack is sitting at the table, running his finger around the inner circle of the handle to his coffee cup. He looks up when we come in and gives a broad smile to Johnny. "How are you bud?" He asks.

Johnny is back to being too ashamed to answer or look us in the eye. "I think we got to the root of the grade problem," I say, "Lack of familiarity with earth number system, earth history, and the science teachers not knowing quite as much about the universe as Tok'ra."

Jack lets out a loud long laugh, that is mostly a release of nervous tension, "Come here bud," he says. Johnny climbs onto his lap, and Jack ruffles his hair, "You want to be homeschooled?" Leave it to Jack to put things simply.

"If I say yes you have to make it just as hard as regular school," Johnny says stubbornly, "I'd rather get bad grades than never learn it. But if I get homeschooled can I still see Becca?" he looks up hopefully at his father.

"Of course, she knows where we live, and your brother still has friends over even though he's homeschooled doesn't he?" Jack says.

"Even on the weekends, because Mom said I'm going to have to start studying on the weekends, instead of spending time with Becca," Johnny says mater-of-facty.

Jack looks up at me teasingly, "So we dish out punishments and take away friendships any time a kid doesn't bring home a spotless report card do we Mommy?"

"That is not what I said Jonathan, and you know it," I said putting my hands on my hips and catching my husband and son with one sweeping glare and name.

"Ok, she might have just said I had to study a little bit more, and spend a _little_ less time with Becca," he says.

"That's right young man," I say diving in for a tickle.

Sam's POV

January 2003

I've decided to pour my destructive thoughts onto Daniel and Teal'c. After all their mysterious words about my promotion are what led to Jack's obsession with 'hypothetical baby number six'. Six! He's been obnoxious ever since the idea of another baby first occurred to him. He's extra obnoxious now when he's not even trying to be. I can't sleep with him over there thinking that!

"Stop it Jack!" I finally say. He's staring up at the ceiling with his legs crossed and a ridiculously gleeful grin on his face.

"What?" he says turning to me obviously confused.

"I told you no, Jack," I say rolling toward him.

"What makes you think I'm even thinking about what you think I'm thinking about?" he asks. I raise an eyebrow at him, "Ok, so I was. But you can't control my THOUGHTS Sam."

"Just don't think those thoughts around me," I glare at him, "especially not while you're in bed with me."

"Oh come on Sam, it's not like I'm going to TRICK you into getting pregnant," and I know he's telling the truth. Jack may be persistent, but he's not manipulative.

"Good, because I'm not going to agree," I say firmly.

He gives me a look which clearly says he doesn't believe me. I've lost arguments like this in the past, but this time I am going to remain strong because we already have FIVE children.

"So are you bored enough to want your job back yet?" I ask.

"Nope!" he proclaims proudly, "I like spending time with my kids!" I think about my kids. Jack and I do produce brilliant children. Cute ones too.

He smiles at me like he's reading my thoughts.

"No," I say all the firmer to hide my wavering.

"I didn't say a word," he says with a wide grin.

The next week

I knew it would be strange to meet our clone's baby. I put it off for about as long as I could. They named her Laura after my mother, and she fits the name. She's got the blond hair, only peach fuzz as of yet, but the color of my mother's hair-even lighter than mine. She's got blue eyes too. She doesn't look like there is much of Jack in her. I hope she's got something of him though.

I look at Jack's face, my Jack's face, I mean and I know what he's feeling. Pretty much the same thing as me. We want to take this baby home. I'm against having a sixth child. But this child is already here. She is in many ways already mine. I know I can't have her. I know my clone needs her more than I do. But still, she's genetically my baby, and I love her.

I look at Not-Quite-Me, and she's happy. Deliriously happy. Not-my-Jack is over the moon. My Jack is looking at me. He's trying to figure out how this is affecting me. It's not about our hypothetical baby number six. If it was I'd be mad. He's worried about how I'm going to feel leaving Laura, leaving a real baby with the Tok'ra and going home. I smile at him. Letting him know I'm going to be fine. It's hard. But I'll be fine.

The next morning

Cassie is nervous about being on her own. I mean really nervous, about going to college. She's been doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, all without being asked. Every time she finishes something she shows it to me or Jack asking if she did it right. I keep telling her she's doing great at it. This morning her worry has taken to new heights.

"Dad can you show me how to change oil?" she asks. I'm about to correct her. She's asking the wrong parent. Jack doesn't change his own oil. I do. In fact I BUILT a motorcycle. But I'm curious whether his masculine bravo is going to let him correct her.

"Going to have to ask your mother kid," he says. My husband rocks.

But before she can even say anything to me Charlie breaks in, "I should probably come out to see this too. After all next year I'm going to be at the University of Colorado."

"University of Colorado in Fort Collins?" she asks.

He nods.

"That's two hours away," she says carefully.

He nods, grinning, "You want to share an apartment, Cass?"

She's hugging him.

"Still want to learn how to change oil?" Jack asks with a laugh. He knows what all this was about as much as I do.

She shakes her head.

And my heart is all full of what a great kid we've raised. But that's the problem with having so many kids. Sometimes they…they do the parents job, and he shouldn't have to do that.

I bite my lip, "Charlie, can I talk to you?"

"What is it Mom?" he asks grinning, but the grin fades as we walk to his bedroom.

"You are not her father, Charlie," I say.

"Nope, I'm her little brother," he says.

"You don't have to take care of her, we can take care of her. I don't want you sacrificing for her. That isn't your job. That her parent's job," she said.

"I want to do this," he says.

"If we never adopted Cassie…" I start.

"Don't say that Mom! She's my sister," he says.

"Ok, let me put it this way. If Cassie wasn't scared to go to college where would you go? I mean, Colorado University wasn't your first choice was it?" I ask.

He grins, "Not exactly, but I thought it would be good for her to get a little distance from home," he says carefully.

"Your first pick is **closer** than Colorado Springs?" I ask seriously confused.

He smiles, "Air Force academy."

"No!" I exclaim. "Really? Air Force," I say pulling him into a big hug.

"Yeah," he says with a grin.

"And you got in?" I say. He gives me a glare. "I mean of course you got in. I mean you applied?" He nods, "We didn't know that."

"Wasn't sure what you guys would think about it," he says shyly.

"Kid, we're going to be thrilled with whatever makes you happy," he grins, "But you need to be happy for that to work. You are not giving up your dreams for your sister, got it?" I say narrowing my eyes into a threat.

"It was just delaying…for a year," he says.

"Nope, your father and I are going to take care of her, not your job," I say holding him, "But you are seriously a good kid."

We return to the room, "He's not going to be getting an apartment with you next year," I say to Cassie.

"Why not?" she asks, but I think she already knows.

"Long commute to where he'll be going to school," I say.

"You made up your mind kid?" Jack asks.

And Charlie stands there stunned, and unable to talk before his father.

"Air Force Academy," I say locking eyes with Jack. Jack's eyes blink a dark color for a long cold second.

Jack forces a smile on his face, "Oh!" he says.

Charlie bites his lip.

"That's a nice surprise, right Jack?" I prompt.

Jack nods, and smiles, and hugs his son, but he's the opposite of happy. We'll talk about that later. Right now I have to talk to Cass, "But Cassie, if you want to go someplace that is only a few hours away, we could come see you, you can come home on the weekends. But you have to understand that if you choose to go farther away, you can. You can live on your own. You are a capable young lady," I say smiling.

"I'm an alien," she says with a dear in the headlights light.

I pull her into a hug, "Of course you are baby, but you are a smart strong alien, who is perfectly capable of living on earth."

"Think so Mom?" she asks uncertainly. I pull her back so I can look her right in the eye.

"I know it honey," I say with a smile.

"Me to," Jack says.

She bites her lip, "What if I talk about Haanka in my sleep or something?"

"Then you tell them about your lovely imagination," Jack says ruffling her hair, "Sweetie you have to live y our life. You can't use the fact that you aren't from earth as an excuse not to live."

She bites her lip, "California."

"Yeah?" he says with a smile.

She nods, "Good pre-med program," she says.

"Pre-med!" I say.

"Yeah," she said shyly.

"Nice sweetie," Jacks says, "A doctor eh?"

"Maybe just a nurse," she says still uncertain.

"Naw, a doctor," Jack says with a grin.

A few hours later

He's laying in bed again dreaming. This time though he's probably dreaming about the kids we already have, and not about the child he wants to convince me to have.

"Jack," I say turning toward him.

"Yeah he says," still looking at the ceiling with his legs crossed.

"You're not excited about your son following in your footsteps," I said.

"Tried to be a good Daddy and hide it," I say.

"Yeah I know, I was just wondering why you were so against it," I say.

He's still looking at the ceiling, "You're a soldier Sam. You've killed people. You've seen your friends die. You've commanded people, and lost on the other side of that gate-light years from your home. You've told their families. That kind of pain-I didn't think our kids were going to have to go through that. Charlie's choosing that. Ok, it's his life. But I don't have to be excited that my son is going to suffer."

I grab his hand, "Saw some pretty cool things on the other side of that wormhole too."

"I don't want Charlie to ever feel pain. Particularly that curl up in a ball and cry all night kind of pain," he says.

I roll over and hold him, "Jack, you can't protect Charlie, any more than he can protect Cass. It's not so much that you can't, as that you shouldn't. That you should, at some point let your kids grow up."

"I know that. That would be the reason I smiled and hugged," he says.

"You have to go tell him why you weren't happy. He saw it. He's probably imagined reasons way worse than the truth. And…" I let the pause sit in the air long enough that he looks at me, "it wouldn't hurt our son to know what the life he's choosing is going to be like."

"Any chance you'd be having that conversation with him?" he asks.

I laugh curling up against Jack's side, "I thought I'd cured you of your fear of talking about your feelings with your kids." The silence lets me know he doesn't know I'm teasing. I look up at him, "You are a good father Jack."

"Am I?" he says with the same shaky uncertainty we tried to chase out of his daughter a few hours ago.

"You are," I say. And just like that it clicks inside of me. I grin. "Jack, if you asked a certain question now, I'll say yes."

"Sam we're not having another baby, because you want to convince me I'm a good Dad," Jack says.

"Not the reason Jack," I say snuggling closer to him.

He puts his hands around me, "And not because you're getting, not really empty nest syndrome, what then half nest syndrome? Not because two of our kids are leaving home, anyway."

"Not the reason Jack," I say.

He looks at me seriously, "And not because, your clone had a baby that you can't have."

I swallow hard before I answer the question, "No, Jack, it isn't even about that."

"'Cause you know the next kid isn't going to be Laura," he says stroking my back.

"A biology lesson, from my husband?" I asked sarcastically, and then seriously, "I know that Jack."

"Then why are you giving in? If you need me to stop teasing you, I can do that. We're not having another kid under duress," he says.

"I want another baby with you, because we make really great kids together," and his forehead is furrowed trying to figure out exactly what I mean. Since half our children aren't genetically mine I add, "We raise really great kids together."

"Six kids Sam," he says.

"You think you are the only one who can count?" I ask.

"Are you serious?" he says pulling back, "You want to have another baby?"

"You finally asked, and I finally said yes," I say kissing him.

"You cannot be serious!" he says.

"One more Jack, and" I point my finger at him, "You will never beg for any more!"

"You need to be sure Sam," he says rubbing my back with two dancing fingers in a way that he knows drives me crazy.

I look him in the eyes, "I'm sure, Jack."

March 2003

Walter is grinning at me. Damn. He wasn't the first person I wanted to know.

"Are you alright, General?" he asks.

"Of course," I say. That would be more convincing if he hadn't just seen me lose my lunch into the wastepaper basket.

"Want me to call the General?" he asks.

"That won't be necessary," I say.

"It wouldn't be necessary, but it would be fun," he says with a grin.

"Don't be too confident this is what you think it is, Walter," I say. I haven't taken a test. But I've been pregnant two times before. I know what this is.

"I understand major, classified," he says with a sarcastic grin, "but let it be noted I'm the first to say congratulations."

"I think I'll take a quick trip to the infirmary, Walter," I say. Might as well make it official.

Later that night

I come home expecting to drop the news on Jack about the second I walk through the door. After all he's the one who has been pushing for this. But as soon as I walk through the door I can see that isn't going to be happening like that. He's got a stressed face on. Grace is laying on the couch, and Davie is running up and down the hall.

"What's that about?" I ask pointing my thumb at my son.

Jack sighs, "I gave him fifty laps before we try AGAIN to do this math assignment. I have Johnny a history test today. He got a B, he's been pouting ever since. Begged for a chance to study again and retake it. I told him a thousand times a B is a good grade, but finally agreed to let him take it again. He canceled on Rebecca to go study," he lets out another huge sigh, "We just finished super, and Charlie and Cassie went to work on homework. They have a science test tomorrow, and are studying together. Senioritis has defiantly set in, especially since both have officially picked their colleges," I bite my lip. Jack had that talk with Charlie. Charlie told him about how much he respected both of us. How he thought he knew what it was to be a soldier and how he still wanted it. He doesn't have a clue. You can't until you've been there. But even if he did I'm sure he would still want it. I sure as hell did. It nearly killed Jack when Charlie officially enlisted, but he's getting closer to being happy for him now.

"And what's wrong with Gracie?" I ask.

"That would probably be my fault," he says. "Daddy might have let her have too much cake." At the word 'cake' Grace turns green and vomits-projectile vomit as only a two year old can-all over the living room. I promptly contribute to the mess with my own puke.

"Here Grace," I say. "Mommy will get you cleaned up while Daddy takes care of the living room." I almost lose it again as I get Grace cleaned up, but I know I'm doing a lot better than I would be if I was cleaning up the mess in the living room. After Grace and I are both cleaned up I find Johnny has burned off all his extra energy. I hold Grace as he works his way through an algebra assignment in about a minute and a half. I peek in on our older kids who are busily studying.

I find myself getting really, really tired. "Grace, let's lay down for just a minute," I say.

"Sam?" Jack asks. I open my eyes. I look around for my daughter. Grace must have squirmed out of my arms hours ago. Good thing I'm not the only adult in the house. Talk about irresponsible.

"Yeah," I say.

"I didn't know if you were feeling up to supper, so I decided to ask, before I brought food and its smells in here," he says.

"Uh, yeah, I should probably eat," I say glancing at the clock, way to go two hour nap when my husband obviously needed some help, "How's Grace?" I asked.

"She was sleeping right with her mom until I moved her into her room a few minutes ago. I'll bring you the food in a minute," he says.

"No, I can get it, and sorry about earlier," I say.

"'Sokay Sam, like I said. It was my own fault. My love of cake led to Grace's problem which led to yours."

"But I made you clean it up, I'm sorry," I said truly embarrassed.

"Seriously, not a big deal, Sam, I was cleaning anyway," and he grins. "We're a team, remember?"

And then I start to cry. He pulls me into a tight hug. Great, now he has to take care of me too! Another kid was a seriously bad idea. "Now I have another thing to apologize for. I'm sorry Jack, we're not really a team. You're doing all the work. Taking care of our kids all day. Then I come home and add to it," I say.

"'Geez Sam, you don't add to my work. Just tonight you took care of our sick daughter, and helped out son with his homework, a task I failed at after trying for several hours today, I might add. And you did all this after working a full day, and while sick. You are an awesome mom! You don't get to feel guilty, because you are an awesome mom while saving the world. I sure as hell didn't feel guilty about being a working dad all those years. And you don't get to feel bad that I'm the one staying home. It was my choice, and you can't be sexist now!"

And he got me to giggle, "I know. I just feel bad about adding to your workload," I say.

"You keep talking about adding to my workload but…" he starts.

"I'm not talking about what happened in the living room. Well, I sort of am, but not really," I say letting my hand rest on my stomach.

"Seriously?" he asks a wide grin covering his face.

"Yep," I say catching his enthusiasm.

"Ok, if you remember Sam, that is a workload addition I've been begging for for quite some time. One I defiantly want. One you don't get to feel guilt about giving this family, ever, you understand me," he says leveling a gaze on me in a way that made me feel ridiculous.

"Of course," I say.

"Blame it on the hormones, Sam," he says. "Now we'd defiantly better get some food in you." But he reaches out, and puts his hand on my stomach for one long quiet moment before he helps me up.

We meet Cassie and Charlie in the doorway. "You ok?" Charlie asks looking at me.

"More than ok," I say. I glance at Jack to make sure he's ready to share. He nods, "I'm pregnant."

"Again?" Charlie says.

Cassie nudges him in the ribs, and dives in for a hug.

"I mean you'd think you'd be sick of us by now," Charlie continues.

"Hey little baby, ignore your big brother," Cassie says looking at my stomach.

Just then I hear an all too familiar sound coming from Gracie's room. It turns my stomach, but I'm not quite in danger of losing my lunch this time.

"Make sure your mother eats," he says to my two oldest children as he heads toward the source of the noise.

"I've been feeding myself for decades Jack," I say.

"Of course, Mom," Cassie says, "but we're still gonna baby your baby. You know how older siblings get-overprotective."

"And we've got to baby this one now," Charlie says, "because by the time it's born we won't be seeing it as much.

I'm really trying not to let the hormones take over on this one.

"Geez Charlie, you're going to make her cry," Cassie scolds.

"Sorry mom," he says.

"It's ok…But you guys really won't get to see much of this baby, will you?" I ask.

"If you think we're that easy to get rid of you have another thing coming," Charlie says.

"Yeah, you're pretty much stuck with us," Cassie says with a grin.

"Wouldn't want it any other way," I say giving them each one of my patented 'on the hairline' kisses.

I finish eating and craw right back into bed. I'm tired. Even though I have no right to be, sleeping the afternoon away like that. I hear Jack come in. His finger is on the light switch before he sees me. But he never flicks it on. He strips down to his underwear and crawls into bed. Years of being a soldier have made this process so quiet I almost can't hear him at all. He thinks I'm asleep, and he reaches over and just barely touches his hand to my stomach.

"Daddy loves you," he whispers. And so does Mommy, I add in my head.

April 2003

Ok, I'm sure I'm not imagining the noise outside of the house that time. I put Grace down, grab an umbrella (not exactly standard issue Air Force weapon, but it will do in a pinch) and open the door. Becca's startled eyes stare back at me.

"I'm sorry Mrs. O'Neill," she says.

"No need to apologize. Come on in. I think Johnny finished his lessons, and if not tell him to put them off for tomorrow. He frets too much." She bites her lips, and doesn't respond. "Something wrong Becca?" I ask.

"No-o-o," she stammers, "I shouldn't have come," she says and turns to leave.

"Hey there," I say, and she stops dead in her tracks, "What's going on?"

"There is a school dance next Friday night," she says, "I asked the school and homeschooled students can go if they are accompanied by someone from the school."

I grin, "So go ask him."

She goes pale, "I should probably just as him as a friend though, don't you think?" she asks looking worriedly into my face.

"I don't know. If you want to ask him as a girl asking a boy, I think that's what you should do," I say.

"And what do you think he'll say?" Becca asks gnawing on her lip some more.

"You know what Becca? I don't have a clue. But if you want I can go ask him…"

She takes the bait, "No, no….that's ok, I think it would be best if I asked him myself."

"Probably," I say trying hard not to let on that I was teasing her before. I have absolutely zero intention of asking my son out for her.

She runs up the stairs to his room, and I find myself gnawing on my own lip. I know that Johnny has absolutely no clue that Becca thinks of him as anything other than a friend. That means that this whole thing could really go either way. He could be thrilled, he could be shocked, he could be grossed out. He's a middle school boy after all.

Becca practically runs down the stairs less than two minutes later. I look at Johnny standing at the top of the stairs. He looks a little stunned.

"What just happened?" I ask after Becca has made her grand exit.

"Becca just asked me to go to a dance. Like…as her boyfriend," he says.

"And you said…" I prompted.

"I said yes," he says his eyes widening in panic.

"Did you not mean to say yes?" I asked not quit understanding the panic.

"No, I mean to say yes. I mean…I was surprised, but yes, and," he cups his head in his hands.

"You ok?" I ask.

A grin covers his face, "Becca's my girlfriend," he says proudly, "I'm dating Becca!" he says more loudly to the rest of the house.

Ok, so that went well.


	18. Princess

Jack's POV

May 2003

I dislike teaching middle school health. Strongly dislike. If it was up to me I'd go my whole life without having a sex talk with my kids. But with six (SIX!) kids it was bound to happen a few dozen times. Especially since it's on the require middle school curriculum. Why did we decide to homeschool again? I glance and Davie doing jumping jacks in the corner. Oh yeah.

Actually, it's probably a good thing I'm doing this. Public school couldn't answer Johnny's questions. Johnny keeps asking about the reproductive features of alien species. I don't know how Nox, or Gou'ald reproduce. Furthermore I really don't want to think about it. The second question in particular reminds me of Hathor, and what she did to Daniel.

"And Asgard?" he asks.

"Oh, I know this one," I grin. "Cloning!"

"Like me," Johnny says carefully.

"Yeah, you are a clone," I say.

"And clones don't have babies," he says.

"Ah…" note to self: let scientist wife handle sex ed with future children, "Asgard can't have babies. I'm sure you are fine."

I'm going to have to ask Sam if he's really fine**. **Although this is probably something we're not going to know until it comes up. Which better be years from now.

"Am I human?" he asks.

"Of course you are human," I say.

"But they took your DNA and changed it a whole bunch to make me," he says.

"Yeah, they did," I say.

"So how do you know they didn't change me so much that I'm not human anymore?" he asks.

I sigh. "You are human," I say with a smile.

"I can see and hear things humans can't," he says.

"Right Reetou," I say.

"Yeah, and the other creatures."

Holy shit my kid sees things? "Other creatures?" I ask trying to hide the panic in my voice.

"Don't worry dad," he says with a smile, "They are just interdemencial beings," he says. Really? That's supposed to make me stop worrying?

"Are they in this room right now?" I ask.

"Just the one," he says indicating a spot next to my hand. I jump. He laughs, "They can't touch you, Daddy. They aren't on the same plane of existence as ours."

"Sweetie, how come you never mentioned this?" I ask.

He shrugs, "You never mentioned when you had visions of a barber's life," he points out.

"When did you get old enough to start throwing my mistakes in my face?" I tease. Aliens don't do well with sarcasm. He looks like I slapped him, "Joke kid, you're right. Do these creatures ah…bother you?" I ask. I can't figure out how he can be so calm while talking about seeing things that are there, that no one else can see, and that he describes as being 'creatures'.

"No. I mean they've been there my whole life, and I kind of feel like…I don't know they are like my own private pets. "So you didn't answer my question dad. Am I going to be able to have kids one day?"

Dang, not even interdimensional beings can distract him from that, "Ah…I don't know, Johnny," I say.

"Cause the way you know if two things are the same species is whether or not they can reproduce ," he says.

"Johnny…" I say.

"You taught me that in science class, Dad," he says.

"I know, but that's a scientific, not a moral classification. Lots of people can't have kids. They are still the member of the same species as us," he nods. "You are a human, you are a person, I promise you kid."

"Ok Dad, only…" he looks down, "I still want kids someday."

"Ok, kid, great. I'm sure it will happen. They didn't mess with your genes THAT much. And you had a Gou'ald inside of you. If there was something wrong that very well could have healed it. Besides if you can't have kids," and I grin, "Adoption is great, Cassie is great right? When you thought you weren't related to me…I mean you didn't mind being adopted right, kid?"

"No," he says with a smile. And he lets out a breath like a worry he's been holding for a long time. "Uh…but you said they didn't change my genes THAT much. Do you know how much they did?" I ask.

"Ah…that's sort of a Mommy question," he says.

"Ok, but I'm your clone right?" he says carefully.

"Yeah, we'll call you a clone with modifications I suppose," I say with a grin.

"So does _that_ make me not a person? I mean I'm like a copy, right?" he says.

"No, not a copy. I hate math. You love it. I can do like a million chin up's, you can do…" I pause. He glares at me, "One?" I ask.

"More than one, dad!" he protests.

"But less than a million," I says.

"Yeah, a little less than a million, Dad," he says with a grin.

"You are your own unique wonderful human being. Do you understand me? You are so much better than a copy of this old soldier. And you are 100% human."

"Okay," he says, "but can I see my DNA?"

"What?" I say.

"I mean the Tok'ra…like the remnants of Jabar in me…they can do things with DNA. If I had a sample…I could, maybe get some answers," he says.

"Ok, fair enough. Middle school should be all about self discovery. If you want to get that out of your DNA instead of soul searching like most of them that works for me. We've got your DNA on file at the SGC, your mom can bring it home on a data disk or something. We'll make it a science project my little introspective son."

"And can I get a copy of Becca's DNA too?" he asks.

I stare at him for a long moment, "'Kay son, lets flip to the part of the book where we talk about all the reasons not to have a kid before you are grown-up and married."

"Eww, Dad, seriously!" he says truly horrified.

"Well, you are asking to study the girl's DNA," I say.

"Yeah, for like someday. Someday, way in the future," he says.

I sigh, "Johnny, honestly, you are too young to be thinking about even someday with this girl. She's your first girlfriend, that's great. But you don't need to be thinking about kids. It scares Daddy."

He laughs, "Okay, but I AM going to marry Becca…someday"

June 2003

Uh oh. Everything in the suitcase Charlie is taking for his plebe summer is folded. That means my son didn't pack it. That is not a good sign.

"Uh Charlie, did your Mom pack your bag for you?" I ask. He just looks at me sheepishly. "Can I see it?" I ask.

"Sure," he says confused.

"I just want to make sure she didn't slip in anything that will get you teased," I say.

"You do know that Mom is in the Air Force, right Dad?" Charlie asks with a laugh.

"Yeah, but she's also a mom. I'm not quite sure which one wins out in this case. I'm just going to do a cursory check for love notes form Mommy."

"Jack," Sam says with hands on her hips. "I am uniquely qualified to pack his bag, being both a mother and a soldier."

"Ah ha!" I exclaim flinging a bag of Hersey kisses out of the bag and shaking it before her face.

"Chocolate, Jack, I threw in a bag of chocolate," she says with an eye roll.

"And so this sticky note won't be in any way incriminating?" I say pulling it off.

She tries to grab it out of my hands. But I'm taller. No longer faster or stronger, age does that to a person, but still taller. I hold it high above my head, and read it like that.

"Kisses from, Mommy," it said.

I just laugh at her.

She crosses her arms, "Shut up!" she says.

Charlie is laughing.

"I always wondered if you were more Mom or soldier, Sam," I say sticking the sticky note to her forehead. "Now we know!"

"Taking your Mom's kisses to Jack's valley, kid?" I ask Charlie holding up the bag of candy.

"Definitely," he says smiling at her.

I toss the chocolates into the bag, and put the sticky note on his forehead. This leads to a wrestling match with my son. It's the last time I wrestle with him before his training. Probably the last time I'll ever win.

Sam's POV

August 2003

"Ready to go?" Jack asks.

I glance up at the dorm room where we had just dropped Cassie off. Then back to the car which contains all her siblings, minus Charlie who couldn't get leave. I suddenly remember that feeling I got when Dad drove off and left me at the dorms in Colorado.

"Not yet," I say walking back toward the door.

"You do know we'll have to leave her eventually Sam?" he asks.

I run up the steps, and there is Cassie hyperventilating. I pull her into my arms until she starts breathing deep breaths again.

"I can't do this Mom," she says.

"Oh sweetie, you can totally do this. You can do this without even breaking a sweat. You are brilliant, capable and strong."

"If I fail and come home in disgrace will you still love me?" she asks.

"Of course, babe, but are going to be great," she says.

"I changed my mind, I want to be barista," she says.

"No," I say shaking my hand.

"Air Force?" she asks.

I give her a little bit of a glare.

"Hey it's near my Mom," she says crossing her arms.

"Baby, I am always, near you," I say.

"In my heart?" she says sappily, and with only a little bit of mocking in her tone.

"No, on the phone, Mommy expects frequent calls," I say.

She laughs through her tears, "I don't think you are going to have to worry about that Mom."

"So can your pregnant Mommy crash with you tonight?" I ask.

"Mom, you don't have to do that…" she begins.

"Oh, sweetie, your first night, I'm there for you. Besides that means your Dad will get to supervise your younger siblings in the pool," I say doing the hairline kiss.

"Thanks for coming back for me," she says.

"Always, Cassie, always."

October 2003

Oh, Jack is not going to be happy. He's going to be a father six times and never make it to a birth. And it's the Air Force's fault again. SG-2, my old team, now led by Feretti, brought back some alien virus. Janet doesn't have a clue what it is, and it spreads like wildfire. So of course I put the base in lockdown. No one in, and no one out.

And then I went into labor. I didn't even want to tell Jack. Walter made a martyr of himself and broke the news. But it didn't really matter, because I could hear Jack yelling from across the infirmary.

Walter hands me the phone after a few minutes, "I'm sorry Jack!" I blurt out.

"Hey, not your fault. The kid had to come two weeks early," he says.

"Yeah, he's got your timing," I joke. Jack's voice seems oddly calm. Something is up. "You can be with me on the phone, though," I say.

"Yeah, I would love to do that, but…ah….listen honey I got to go, the kids…need me. But I'll call you back in a little bit," he says.

I stare at the phone in disbelief, "He HUNG up on me Walter!" I exclaim. Just then a huge contraction wracks my body. Walter's face goes pale, but he offers me a hand to squeeze. It's really sweet, and so out of his job description. But it isn't like having your husband there. I'm actually focusing on not squeezing too hard. With Jack I'd be trying to squeeze his hand off in revenge for putting me through this.

At least this time I have a doctor, and this baby isn't breech.

An hour later

"Hey, did I make it?" Jack says rushing worriedly into the room. What? Jack?

"How did you get here?" I ask.

"You still pregnant?" he asks. Then he looks at my stomach, "Good, how close are we?"

"How the hell did you sneak onto my base during lockdown?" I shout in frustration.

"It used to be MY base if you remember General. Are you telling me you don't know ten ways to sneak onto this base?" he asks.

"I knew fifteen, but I fixed them all," I grumble.

"Ha! I win," he teases, "Now how is the BABY!"

"I didn't mean I wasn't glad to see you," I say.

"Didya really think I was going to have six kids, and not see a single birth? If I didn't make it here for this one we would have had to have another one!"

I want to answer him right away, but a contraction prevents it. He holds me, and I inflict harm on his hand as I squeeze. When it's over I say through gritted teeth, "So help me Jack, if we have another baby YOU are going to be the one giving birth!"

He laughs, "You never know, with our alias that might be possible."

I grab him by the throat, a bit more roughly than I meant to "No more kids Jack!"

"Just joking Sam. We're done. Well, we're going to have this one," he points toward my stomach, "and then we're done."

"Sorry," I say releasing my clutch on him. "so whose watching our kids anyway?"

"Your dad," he says.

"Does he know you were about to break security on an Air Force base?" I ask.

"I think he had a pretty good idea, although I didn't come right out and say it," Jack says.

"Is he aware that you might be under quarantine on this base for several days?" I ask.

"Janet will figure it out before then," Jacks says giving a bewitching smile as the doctor entered the room.

"General how the hell did you sneak into a facility I put under quarantine?" she asks even more outraged than I was.

"I snuck IN Janet, not out. I would never sneak OUT of your quarantine," he says trying to pacify the good doctor.

She fixes a glare on him, "General I have half a mind to inject you with the disease and run tests on you."

"That's fine with me," he says cavalierly, "So long as it is AFTER I watch my daughter being born."

That shuts Janet up. She knew that was why he was here, of course. But the way he said it no doubt reminded her of her own kids. "Ok, let's see how the little girl is coming," Janet says.

Two hours later

The girl was anything but little. Ten pounds. No doubt she'll be a sumo wrestler. She fixed those dark chocolate eyes on me the second she came out, and I was lost. All of our kids have their Daddy's brilliant eyes. But Abby had eyes that were more Jack than Jack's.

Jack's POV

Ok, so I'm a fifty one year old man who just spent half an hour crawling on bad knees through an air shaft, and it was totally worth it! My baby girl. My third baby girl.

Sam's tired eyes focus on me.

"You ok?" I ask her. As many times as she's told me she wants this kid I still wonder if I didn't talk her into it. I'm so happy, but she just went through a lot of pain.

"I'm wonderful Jack," she says with a smile.

"Sorry," I mutter.

"What the hell are you sorry about?" she asks. I don't answer right away, "I know you aren't sorry about that big beautiful baby we just had, because I sure as hell am not." I still don't look at her.

"Jack, WE wanted this baby," she says.

"I did," I say softly.

"Nah uh, I wanted Ms. Abby. In fact I want my baby right now," she says reaching her arms our, "If you want to be sorry about something feel sorry for her ten pounds," she teases.

"We're blaming me for that?" I ask, handing over the baby.

"I know you're not calling me fat after I just gave birth to your giant baby," she replies.

"Sammy, when we first met you were not this sarcastic," I say, "I am a bad influence on you."

"Jack, you are the most amazing man ever. You make me a better person," she says.

I grin, "You are ridiculously emotional after giving birth. Looking at the world through hormone colored glasses." The only way I look good.

A week later

That was a long quarantine. Not that I minded. It was about time Sam and I had a little vacation. Janet let us stay in our on base quarters, even that first night. Abby cried in the middle of the night. I got up to get her and Sam burst into tears.

When Gracie cried she thought she was never getting home. She thought I'd never be handing her another baby. But I handed her Grace many a time, and I've handed her Abby every time she's been hungry in the night.

Now it's back to reality. Time to incorporate our little new one into our circus of a family. I'm hoping Johnny and Davie finished the computer program we've been working on. Jacob is probably more qualified to help with the project anyway.

Sam's father and four of our children have their noses pressed to the window pane. Charlie has a camera presumably for Cassie. I'll have to remember to get some good footage later, because he isn't actually paying attention to what he's taping. I think all Cassie will get to see is the wall.

"Abby!" Davie screams running out to us. Davie used to make me nervous when he ran to Grace when she was this small. He's grown up a lot in the past three years. I'm no longer afraid he's going to slam into Sam and hurt the baby.

Sam grins, and tilts the babies face down to look into her brother's eyes.

"She's huge!" he exclaims.

"Never say that to a woman," I reply dryly.

"I would prefer it if you didn't give my sons advice of girls," Sam says in the same dry tone.

Davie looks back and forth between us like it's a tennis match. "I got you didn't I?" I smirk at her.

"That was luck, Jack!" she protests.

"Luck my," I stop myself just in time, my son is right here, and he's quickly being joined by more of our children and Sam's father, "sweet backside, Sam. I seem to remember you were pretty infatuated with me when we first met. So much so that..."

"Our children don't need to hear this story," Sam protests.

"Whatcha do Mom?" Davie asks.

"Look at the baby!" Sam says.

"I distracted your mother a bit when she was in my class," I offer.

"A little bit?" Davie asks glancing at Sam suspiciously.

"Ok, I was so distracted by your father I almost failed his class. That what you want to hear?" her voice is dripping in sarcasm.

"It's certainly what I wanted to hear," I pipe up.

"What grade did you get?" Johnny asks.

"Distracted eh, Sam?" Jacob asks with a smile. A decade ago he'd be puffed up angry Daddy about that. He can still do that if he wants. But, Jacob and I are buds now, and he finds this is funny. Also finds it funny to torture Sam. We have that in common.

"If I wasn't holding your big…butted baby, I'd smack you Jack," she says.

"Thank God for Abby than," I see.

"And does the Grandpa get to hold the new baby?" Jacob asks.

Sam hands the baby over, and pulls Gracie off the floor. She covers her with kisses, "Mommy missed you, Little One." That's Sam's special name for our youngest, er second youngest daughter.

"Not Little One" she protests.

"You grew up while Mommy was away?" Sam asks laughing.

Gracie points her finger accusingly at the baby, "Abby is Little One."

"Can I have two Little Ones?" Sam asks.

Grace looks at her mother suspiciously. "Two" she says holding up two fingers as a question.

"Yeah," I say.

"No," Gracie says.

"I don't know girl," I say, "You've been little one for an awful Long Time. I'm not so sure your sister is going to want a hand me down name. We'd better keep that one for you and find her another."

Sam looks at me gratefully.

"What do we call Baby?" Grace asks.

"Princess," Johnny says.

I turn to glare at him. He's being sarcastic. Being an alien he's just began to understand sarcasm. He should know his little sister hasn't mastered that yet.

"Yeah, Princess," Gracie says still looking at her sister with an air of suspicion.

"Can I hold her?" Johnny asks. I nod my head. But I'm actually not a big fan of Johnny getting attached to babies. He's still fairly obsessed with the question of whether he'll be able to have kids. He's trying to find the answer in DNA. He is seriously too young to be looking at DNA, and imagining what his kids will be like. But he does. Calls it science. Worries his Daddy.

He takes her from my Grandpa, "I'm your clone Daddy, so it's almost like…she's my kid."

Shit our family is screwed up.

"No," Sam says making a horrible face. "No," she repeats shaking his head.

"That's seriously twisted dude!" Charlie says shaking his head, "Because I am defiantly not your kid!"

Johnny grins, "Sure you are, and you have to listen to me, 'cause I'm sorta kinda your Daddy!"

"Not happening," Davie says.

"I'm the boss of most of you," Johnny says with a grin.

"You are not their father!" I exclaim.

Johnny smiles at me, "Just kidding."

"My turn with the new sister," Charlie says.

"And Sammy should come inside and sit down," Jacob says. Oh, stupid, stupid man. Don't EVER baby Sam right after she's had a baby.

"Dad, she was born over a week ago," Sam protests.

I know how to distract her from being offended, "You may not need to sit down, Sam, but my knees are killing me. All that crawling around…"

"Just tell me how you got into the base already, Jack! It's a NATIONAL SECURITY BREACH for God's sake!" she explains. It's an argument we've been having for the past week.

"Sam, I'm not going to tell you. I may need to sneak onto the base again," I tease.

She knows I'm teasing, but she can't keep herself from taking the bait, "You are not going to sneak on to MY base ever again!"

"I don't think the place actually belongs to you Sam," I say as I usher her into the house. I hear Jacob's deep laugh behind me.

"I can't believe my YOUNGER brother thinks he's my father," Charlie mutters to himself.

Suddenly I realize something, "Hey, Davie," I say, "You want to hold your little sister, right kid?"

A look of panic crosses his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask. I'm trying to remember if Davie held Grace when she was little. The two of them play together now. But he was younger when Gracie was new. I probably wouldn't think it that odd if an eight year old didn't want to hold a new born.

"I might like…drop her or something. She's tiny," he says.

Most of his family roars with laughter.

"Tiny compared to me!" he explains offended by our laughter. Well, you can't blame us Abby really wasn't a tiny baby.

I wait for Johnny to sit down. Then I take the baby out of Charlie's hands and put it on Johnny's lap. Johnny doesn't seem to want to touch her at first. But I place his hands around her. He smiles, a nervous smile, but he'll be fine.

"I want to hold baby!" Gracie says stomping her foot.

"Little One, you're too young," Sam says.

She starts to cry.

"How about Daddy holds Gracie, and Abby?" I ask.

She nods her head gravely, and I take my two little girls up in my arms. Gracie touches Abby's face.

"That's your sister," I tell her.

"And it's Johnny's daughter," Charlie says with a giggle. Just what we need, another inside joke.

"Time for the show Johnny and I made," Davie bounces.

"Did you finish it?" I ask.

"Grandpa made it better," he says with a grin.

"I'll bet. Jacob is far more qualified to do this sort of thing than I am," I say.

"I don't know Jack, you helped the kids build a pretty great program," Jacob says.

"Oh, trust me Jacob, that was all them. Davie was our computer wiz, and Johnny is the master of the facts on there," I say.

"What show are we talking about here?" Sam asks.

"A welcome home Mommy," Davie looks at me, "And now Daddy, and welcome to the world Abby show."

Sam grins.

"And Grandpa hocked our program up to the hologram thing from Uncle Danny's meaning of life thing," Johnny adds.

"Sweet," I say.

Davy presses the button and the room is filled with the star chart we programmed into the computer. It narrows in on earth, and starts the narrative of family history. It starts with earth as I said. But we flip to other star systems as necessary. We get to see the planet on which Cassie lived for ten years, and the one on which Gracie girl was born. We see the planet Johnny was-made on, and the ones he lived on with Jacob. It is seriously awesome. My kids are seriously awesome.

"Davy said you call this political astronomy," Johnny says.

"Not officially. I just made that up," I tell him.

"I want to be a political astronomer when I grow up," Johnny announces. "In fact I'm going to be one, and marry Becca, and have three kids."

"Seriously stop with the kids, kid!" I exclaim.

"Yeah, you already have four kids, slow down!" Charlie says with a laugh.

"Not, funny," I say.

"Actually, it is a little funny, Jack," Sam says with the giggle I used to see at the SGC when she thought something I said was hilarious, but didn't want anyone to know that.

"Yep, enjoy having kids with your son, Sam," I tease she makes a horrible face.

"DAD! Nasty!" Johnny says.

"Right he wants Becca to be his baby Momma," Charlie says.

I glare at Charlie. "Do you understand how un funny teen pregnancy it is?"

"He takes his role as health teacher VERY seriously," Davie says.

"Especially since one of my sons has a BABY obsession," I say.

"Well, get your fill with your little sister, because you won't be having a baby of your own until you are at least…" Sam begins.

I cut her off, "Thirty."

Sam rolls her eyes, "Not thirty."

"But not thirteen," Charlie says in a moment of big brother seriousness.

"Again…ew." Johnny says.

"Awesome computer program, kids," I say taking my younger sons onto the lap my little girls have just vacaded. Davie thinks he's too old for it. Johnny, though older, does not. She snuggles against me.

"Now give your mother some rest!" Jacob says.

November 2003

So tired. Must stay awake. Feeding Gracie. Quizzing Davie. Johnny? Did I assign him something?

"Dad, why don't you take a nap?" Davie asks.

"Because I'm taking care of four kids right now," I say.

"But Abby finally feel asleep. After keeping you up all night, and it's almost Gracie's nap time, and we're old enough to watch ourselves. In fact if one of the little girls wake up we can take care of them," Johnny says. They are eleven and fourteen.

"I'm supposed to be teaching you guys," I say.

"Yeah, we can read, go sleep Dad," Davie says.

"You make me feel so useful, wake me up if anything goes wrong," I say. Past the point of arguing. Gracie is done eating anyway. Abby is already down for her nap between pillows on Sam and my bed. So I lay down with Gracie right next to Abby, and enjoy my first afternoon nap in decades. True, six kids is a lot. But when they are as great as mine who can resist!


	19. Runaways

Sam's POV

January 2004

I seriously debate whether or not to show this to Jack. It isn't exactly the kind of thing he's ever going to discover on his own. He's worried enough about Johnny without this new information. But I know Jack would be furious if I didn't tell him. In the same way I'd be furious if he found something like this and didn't tell me.

"Jack, I found these in Johnny's room," I say laying the papers in front of them.

He studies the for a full minute without saying anything. I could tell the minute that he looked at them that he had no idea what they were. I could have broken in right away with an explanation of what they were, but I was having too much fun watching his face.

"So what exactly did you find?" Jack asks looking up at me.

I shake my head, "I can't BELIEVE I'm letting you teach my children science," I say.

"Punnett squares," he mutters as the science comment ringing a bell. So Jack did teach him how to make these, that is going to make things even more interesting. "I assigned these like months ago, I don't know why he kept them," Jack continues.

"I doubt you actually assigned these ones," I say.

He looks at them even more intently, and this time I take pity on him, "Jack, do you know what Punnett squares do?"

"Yes, they show the probability of a certain gene showing up in the offspring given the parents," he says.

"Yes, and this is a Punnett square based on actual genes he's found in his DNA," and now to the part Jack's really going to hate, "as well as Becca's."

Jack looks at the papers with discuss, "So he's figuring out what his kids would look like?"

"Well, most of the traits he is looking like are not for physical aspects. Actually a lot of them claim to be elements of character located in genes we measly humans haven't figured out yet. If he's right about all of this stuff, and based on his Tok'ra history I'm guessing he probably is right about most of it, this could lead to a whole bunch of breakthroughs in genetics. Maybe even cures to a couple of diseases."

"Wait, how did he get Becca's DNA?" he asks in horror.

"I'm guessing he got a sample of her blood," I reply calmly.

"Do you think she knows what he wanted to do with it?" and there is panic in his voice.

"I don't know Jack, I mean he'd have to tell her something, and how many non weird reasons can you come up for wanting a sample of somebody's blood?"

"How can you be so calm? Does it not freak you out that he's figuring out what his kids would be like?" he asks in a panicked voice.

"Honestly, Jack? This is pretty typical middle school behavior. I used to make Punnett squares when I was in Junior High," I confess.

"You did?" he says, with a voice betraying more than interest.

"Sure, along with classics like love-hate-friendship-marriage, and MASH," I say.

"What?" he asks.

"They are games played mostly by middle school girls. They are like games of chance where you find how who you are supposed to marry and how many kids you'll have and stuff based on the number of letters in a name and how quickly your friend moves the pencil with your eyes closed."

He's giving me a really funny look.

"It's not as stupid as it seems, Jack," I protest.

"I'm sure it's not. I doubt you would have actually done anything as stupid as those games sounds!" he says, "So how accurate were those games? Did they give you warning you were going to marry a devilishly handsome Air Force man and have six children some of whom are aliens?"

"No, see, we mostly cheated on the algorithms, so I always ended up with," I stop. I know I'm too late, but I'm hoping Jack will let it go. No such luck.

"Ended up with…" Jack prompts.

"None of your business," I say. He proceeds to tickle me.

"Fine Jack!" I finally scream, "Fine, Stephen Hawking."

He bursts out laughing, and laughs for a long, long time before he squeezes out, "Stephen Hawking, seriously?"

"He's a superstar in the physics world, Jack," I say with my arms crossed.

"And the man my wife has a crush on," he says with a grin.

"I don't have a crush on him ANYMORE, I did decades ago. Now I go for obnoxious ex-military house husbands," I say with a grin.

"Obnoxious? Then what are you doing with me?" he asks coyly.

"Anyway my point is our son's Punnett square obsession is nothing to worry about," I say.

"Because it's something every middle school GIRL does," he says sarcastically.

"Actually I did quite a few Punnett squares when I was a senior in college," I reply.

"Really? And who was the father or your hypothetical children in that thought experiment?" he asks.

"You see there was this teacher…." I start.

He grins, "So how accurate were they? Were you disappointed that more of my genes got through than you thought?" he asks.

"Actually, we lucked out. Punnet squares would tell us at least one out kids would have blue eyes. Two of them should have inherited my patience instead of yours, and statistically would could have expected children with lower IQ's, even taking into account the fact that you are smarter than you pretend to be."

"How is ending up with kids with my eye color lucking out?" he asks.

"Deep, soulful eyes," I say looking at them.

"You make it sound like you're talking about a lost puppy," he whines.

"You do have a certain puppy like quality Jack," I say.

"Hey!" he protests.

"Loyal, protective, loving, cute," I say.

"It sounded pretty good until you got to the last one," he says.

"Adorable?" I try.

"Air Force generals are not adorable," he says.

"Ah…but you aren't an Air Force General anymore. Therefore…cute!"

"You talking to our kid about his Punnett squares?" he grumps. I nod. "Make sure you find out how he got the girl's blood. And throw in a few vampire references for me, 'kay?"

I give him a kiss, and start walking out of the room. Abby lets out an ear piercing cry, "I'll get that," Jack says.

I walk into the living room where Johnny, Davie, and Grace are playing. I smile at them, but immediately they know something is wrong. They all freeze.

"Which one of us is in trouble?" Davie asks.

"No one is in trouble, I do want to talk to Johnny for a minute though," I say with a smile I really hoped would calm them down. It doesn't appear to have done much. Johnny follows me up to his room.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about these," I say laying the Punnett squares down on the space on the bed between the two of us.

His face looses all of its color, "Mom I can explain those!" But there is silence.

"The first question your Father and I had was does Becca know about these?"

"Dad knows!" Johnny says getting more panicked.

"Yes, I told your father. I also told him I used to do Punnett squares when I was your age, although mine were nowhere near as detailed. I didn't know that much about DNA back then," I say.

He calms down at those words, "Becca doesn't know," he says.

"How did you get her DNA then? Did you ask for her blood or something?" I ask in horror.

"Gross mom! No, she used Cassie's hairbrush one day," he says.

I'm laughing, and he's pouting. "Ok, that's a little stockerish, son."

"I know," he says looking down.

"But really not as bad as we thought. Your father and I were picturing you and Becca pouring over images of what your children were going to look like." He blushes deeply, "You know you are way too young to have kids right?"

He nods.

"Ok, because sometimes when you do things like this we're not sure you know about that. It worries us. Particularly your father."

"Dad doesn't think I'm going to marry Becca," he says so quietly I barely hear him. There is offense in his voice. I know if I handle this wrong it will either make him more mad at his father or more likely to do something stupid with Becca now that he's into the teenage rebellion stage of his life.

"Well, your father says that because most people your age will not end up with the person they are will right now. The majority of them will date six or more people before they find the one they are going to spend their life with. Statistically few people marry there first girlfriend. But that is the thing about statistics-they are very good at predicting percentages in large groups. But when you are looking at one individual, statistics are not very good at telling what will happen to that one person."

He looks up at me with a smile, "Do you think I'm going to marry Becca?" he asks.

"You know what, kid? I don't have the slightest idea. I certainly wouldn't be upset if you and Becca eventually did get married. She's a great girl. But you are young. You could change your mind a thousand times before you grow up. And that would be ok too. Just cut down on the baby obsession until you are actually old enough to have babies, deal?"

He nods, and I give him the hairline kiss.

June 2004

Gran's cabin

Our summer vacations at the cabin have always been important, but they are far more so this year. All of our kids have worked really hard this year, and they really and truly deserve a break. Cassie and Charlie have just finished their first year of college. Cassie called and asked if she could bring her boyfriend, Luke, with her to the cabin. Jack had a whole litter of kittens, but of course we agreed. Jack insisted they not share a room. I reminded him of our first Christmas and the fact that he'd called my father's reaction to the fact that he shared my bedroom, "ridiculous".

"That's different!" he'd exclaimed.

"How so?" I challenge, "She's only a few months younger than I was, and her boyfriend is only a year older than her. Also, he doesn't have a son."

"Well, good thing our daughter is doing better than you were at her age," he grumbles.

"Oh, I didn't say that, I'm pretty excited about the guy I ended up with…and his son is no slouch either!"

Charlie had always been a slightly above average student. But once he got to the Air Force academy his grades sky rocked. He's not exactly the top of the class, but he rarely gets anything but A's.

"Mom is famous there! She got the best grades ever! I think she won awards in things she never even studied. People are always asking me if I'm related to THE General Samantha O'Neill."

"Don't they ever ask you if you are related to THE retired General Jack O'Neill?" Jack asks pretending to be deeply wounded.

"Can't say that they do," Charlie replies with a grin.

"Just wait until you get out of the classroom and into the real world. In the real world your father is far more famous than I am," I say.

Cassie's grades are good too. Pre-med is a really cut throat proposition. It's designed to make a good 75% of those who attempt it believe they are dumb and drop out. So the fact that she's survived her first year is pretty amazing in itself. She has a good sprinkling of B's among her A's. Each B was accompanied by a late night bawling session with me. I love it that when Cassie's in distress she only wants to talk to me. But she's made plenty of phone calls to talk to each member of our family. She's even more homesick than she thought she'd be. But the fact that she's made it through this year has done wonders to her confidence. She finally believes she can make it.

Davie and Johnny got competitive about how much work they could get done. Johnny has finally got used to base ten math, and has a good grounding on history. He still has the knowledge of Jabar in his brain, so he managed to wiz through three years of high school this year. Davie started off a year ahead of him, and was determined not to let his brother best him, so Davie completed two years worth of work. That left both of them finishing off the work for their junior years of high school. Johnny is sixteen and Davie is only thirteen. They both took the SAT's and got amazing scores. I'm not sure what we are going to do about their schooling after next year. Maybe online colleges. Davie is definitely too young to be going away to college.

Grace is only four. She's not officially school age yet, but Jack let her complete first grade work this year. It only took a couple hours a day, and way still too easy for her. He grumbles that his kids are so smart he's going to have nothing to do in a couple of years. They'll all be graduated. Well, at least Abby is still little. She's still mastering putting two words together.

I needed a break as well. Running a base which sends people to other planets is exhausting work. Not to mention the fact that I have so many people under my command. Every time one of them is injured the responsibility falls squarely on my shoulders.

Jack and I are sitting on lawn chairs looking out at our broad playing in the lake. Actually, Jack might be sleeping. It's hard to tell with those sunglasses on. Not that I would blame him if he really did fall asleep. He's at home every day with four very taxing kids. He needed this break more than the rest of us. I'm trying to do the lion's share of the child care on this trip, because he really and truly does deserve a break.

"Sam," he says quietly.

"Yeah," I say startled by his words.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" he asks taking my hand in his, and focusing those sunglasses on me.

"Yeah, you've mentioned it once or twice," I joke.

"Good, 'cause I do," he says.

"Love you to, Jack," I say. I love that my words still have the power to make a wide grin cross his face.

Jack's POV

November 2004

Colorado Springs

I knew there was something up with Sam from the moment she came through the door. I thought maybe she'd tell us what was up at dinner. When that didn't happen I figured she'd spill her guts when the kids where in bed. But after she tucks in the kids she just slips into her pajamas and turns toward the wall in bed.

"Something wrong Sam?" I ask softly.

"No," she says turning to me and giving me a smile we both know is fake.

"Something happen at work today?" I ask again laying down next to her, and starting a massage on shoulders which are surprisingly tense.

"No," she says.

"Is it something classified?" I ask.

She turns to me looking annoyed, "I just told you nothing happened, and now you ask me if it's classified. What kind of sense does that make?"

"I just want to know why you are lying to me," I say trying to use my eyes to get the answer from her. She never should have told me what these eyes did to her.

"I just got offered something, and if I was a different person, with a different life, I'd jump at it. But that doesn't mean I want to be a different person with a different life," she says looking at me carefully.

"Well, I think you should discuss this with your husband, maybe it isn't as impossible as you think it is."

She closes her eyes and sighs, "It's impossible Jack."

"Ok, then tell me about the amazing honor you are going to have to turn down," I say.

"They want me to go to Atlantis," she says softly.

"So they want you to go to another galaxy and live on another planet?" I ask.

"They want me to run Atlantis," she says not able to stop the smile from crossing her face.

"So they want you to run a city which flies, is that right?" I ask.

She laughs, "I doubt I'll ever get the chance to fly it. That didn't turn out so well for them the last time."

"Ok, what I want to know is why this is out of the question. They wouldn't let you bring your husband and kids?" I ask.

"Honestly Jack, I didn't ask. We can't take our kids to another planet. And what about Cassie and Charlie? It would be like we were abandoning them. We wouldn't get to see them for…who knows how long. And what if we're gone for a couple of years? I mean we're having enough trouble figuring out what Johnny and Davie are going to do next year. They are almost done with high school now. How are they going to do college in outer space?"

"I don't know Sam. I'm not denying that there are a lot of things to think about before we make this choice. But I don't think we should say no right away. We could take our kids off planet. I believe they are giving earth passes once a year for people on Atlantis, now that they have that bridge thing between the two galaxies. Maybe Cass and Charlie can come visit US to. That would be an amazing experience for everyone. Johnny and Davie could do college online. Or take classes from the genius up there. Or take a few years off, since they are ahead anyway, and experience life in another galaxy. I don't know. We've got a family of geniuses I think we can discuss it with them before we come to any conclusions. They can probably come up with solutions that haven't occurred to either of us."

She sighs, "Jack I can't ask my whole family to give up their planet for years. I love my job, I'm happy at my job."

"But you deserve your dream job. Sam, you made sure that I always went as far in my career as I wanted to. You deserve the same thing from us!" I say.

I hear a soft sob, "That's not true Jack. If it wasn't for my job, and all the kids you'd have another star, and a different job."

"Sam, you listen to me. If I wanted that job, really wanted that job, I'd have taken it. You told me too. But I don't want to sit behind a desk, at least not unless my kids are on the other side of it. I was done with the military. Otherwise I would have taken that DC job, and we would have figured something out. Or I would have taken my job back from you, and figured out an awesome place for my new General wife to work. Or I would have started working out of Peterson. Or gone back to teaching. Or, or a thousand other ors. I'm not staying at home with our kids, because I had no choices. I chose this. If you are saying no to Atlantis, because you don't want the job, then we are done. End of discussion. But if the reason is anything else we need to talk about it, as husband and wife, as a family. Because you don't get to sacrifice your career, unless you CHOICE to do that. You understand?"

"Head of the SGC is a great job," she mutters.

"But Empress of a planet/flying city is a better one," I retort.

"I wouldn't be Empress, Jack," she says laughing.

"I don't know, if you are in charge of a planet, what do they call you?" I ask.

"General, they'd call me general," she says.

"Huh, doesn't sound royal enough, what about Czarina. I've always thought Czarina was a lovely title," I continue goading her.

"Jack."

"Yeah."

"Shut up."

"Family meeting tomorrow?" I ask.

"Ok," she says.

The next night

I look around the table. All of our kids are here if you count Cassie via phone.

"Ok, your mother has an opportunity. It's kind of a crazy opportunity, and we aren't saying that we're going to do it yet. If you guys don't feel it's the right thing for you we aren't going to do it. But we think it would be a disservice to all of you, and your mother, not to consider it. And as you consider it I want you to consider what an amazing opportunity it would be for your mother," I say with a smile.

Sam bites her lip before saying, "I have been offered a position as the leader of the Atlantis expedition."

Silence.

"How long are you going to be gone for?" Charlie asks. He sounds like she's already accepted it.

"I don't know for sure. It would be at least a year, maybe longer. But it wouldn't just be me. I told them I wasn't going to leave without my family. Charlie and Cass would be staying of course, but the rest of us would be going. I know that would complicate things as far as schooling goes for Johnny and Davie. We talked about options. We've figured ways we could do online and correspondence college classes in Atlantis. You are also both years ahead, so if you wanted to take some time off that would work," she says with a smile.

"You want to take us off world?" Johnny says in shock. I'm not sure where this reaction is coming from. I mean the kid was born off world. He's lived off world for almost as much time as he has lived on world.

"We'd get to go through the Stargate right? 'Cause that would be awesome!" Davie says excitedly.

"Yeah, you guys would get to go through the Stargate a couple of couple of times to get there," Sam says with a smile.

"And there are a whole bunch of scientist from all over the world there. Like the smartest people ever!" Davie says.

"Yes, but you can't bother these people. You can't keep the genius from doing their jobs," I warn.

He rolls his eyes.

"So you guys will be gone, like never coming back?" Cassie asks, and you can hear the worry in her voice.

"We'll get to come home once a year, and you and Charlie will be allowed to visit us once a year besides that. So we'll have Christmas on Atlantis, and a week at the cabin on earth. But yes, besides that we won't be able to come home. You'll still have Charlie, and Grandpa Jacob, and the Littlefields and Teal'c and his family. And if something major went wrong we could come back. But yes, that is defiantly something to consider," I say compassionately.

"Will we be able to call you?" Charlie asks.

"No, but you will be able to e-mail us, send us video messages over the computer. We'll only be able to send and receive once a week, but you can send as many as you want, there will just be a delay in getting them," Sam says.

Gracie turns to Davie and asks, "Atlantis is a ship?"

Ok, how to explain this to a four year old. "Grace, Atlantis is a big ship, but it won't look like it. It's a long way away. It's up in the stars, on another planet. Farther away than where Cassie or Johnny was born. To get there we would have to sit in a little ship and go through a couple of Stargates. When we got there we would live there with lots of different people from all over the Earth, and even from different planets. People would go through the gate to explore, but we won't do that. We would never get to leave Atlantis, except when we went home, because you guys are too young for exploratory gate travel. Ah…to go through the gate without a really good reason. It would be too dangerous. But there will be other kids to play with there. We can't bring many books, but we can bring computers with books on them, and there are lots of things to read in Atlantis. They are written in a language we don't know, but it probably wouldn't take that long to learn it," I say.

"Actually the way McKay compresses data, we could bring along any book that has a digital copy of it," Sam says. I love the ways she flinches at the mere mention of McKay's name. The competition between the two of them has not lessoned even though he and his family moved to Atlantis three years ago.

"So are we going to vote right now?" Davie asks excitedly.

I shake my head, "I think this is the sort of thing that deserves a couple days of thought. But surely you guys have more questions about this. This is going to be one of the biggest decisions this family ever makes."

They ask a few more minor questions, but I can already see that our kids have made up their minds.

Sam's POV

One week later

The vote is in. We're going to Atlantis. I wish it had been a unanimous vote. I'd have felt much better about it if everyone had agreed. As it was Cassie had agreed with unvoiced reluctance, Johnny had given a venomous "no" and the rest of the kids had given an excited yes.

Johnny ran to his room, and locked himself in. I've been giving him space for the last hour or so. But now I'm starting to worry.

I lock pick the door, thankful Davie has never taken to locking himself in a room. When Davie locks a door it's something I still cannot open.

When the door opens I see the window open and my heart stops. "Johnny that's not funny, now come out wherever you are!" I exclaim while racking my eyes over the room-empty bed and all. I run to the window. Johnny's room is on the second floor of our house, so I'm half expecting to see a splat of Johnny on the ground. I'm relieved when I don't see that. However, I do see foot prints on the ground.

"Jack!" I scream. I surprise myself with how shrill my voice is.

He rushes into the room, "What's wrong?" he asks.

I point to the window. All the color drains out of Jack's face. He looks out, and I feel him relax, only slightly. Apparently he shared my fear of Johnny not being a great climber. "I'm going to go follow those footprints, you call Becca's house," he says. He's almost out the door. Then he realizes I haven't moved. "General!" he shouts. That pulls me out of the trance, "Right now we don't need Sam the Mom who is worried about her kid. We need General O'Neill who is good in emergencies, ok?" he asks.

I nod.

Jack is running out the door. I grab the phone and find out that not only do Becca's parents not know where Johnny is; they also don't know where Becca is. Then I interrogate the other kids. I can tell by their genuine surprise and worry that none of them know where he is. I call the police.

I'm counting on Jack coming back with our son any minute now. But when he finally does come back in it's with a head hanging low, and no son in tow. We exchange updates. The police come. We tell them Johnny's upset about an upcoming move, and that his girlfriend is also missing. They write him down as a seventeen year old runaway. That thought turns my stomach. Even more than the worry. I feel like a failure as a mother.

They keep asking questions. They seem intrigued by the fact that Johnny was adopted. They ask where his birth parents live. We tell them they are dead. I can't even decide if this is a lie or not. His Retou creator is dead anyway. Johnny never really had birth parents. I don't suppose it really matters. The point is Johnny isn't running away to his birth parents.

"Dad!" I say. I can't believe I didn't think of it before. Johnny did live with my father for almost three years.

I call him up, "Dad, is Johnny there?" I ask with shaky hands.

"No, Sam is Johnny missing?" he sounds devastated.

I start crying, and Jack takes the phone out of my hands, "We know he snuck out of his window, and Becca's missing too," Jack says calmly into the phone. Jack listens for a bit before he hangs up.

"Dad's coming over Sam, he wanted me to tell you that he's sure Johnny is fine. He figures he'll try making it on his own with Becca for a little bit, find out it's hard, and come home."

"Does he have money?" the police man asked.

"He has a little allowance, but not much. He's never cared much about money, and I'd be surprised if he had more than $50," I say.

Jack quickly grabs out his wallet, and shows it to me, "I'd add a hundred on to that officer," he says dismally. Then he turns to me, "I'm sorry Sam, I don't know when he could have taken it."

"I feel better knowing he has something. I'd hate to think of him sleeping outside," I shudder. Jack pulls me tight against my side.

A day later

I think Abby is the only one of us who has slept decent since Johnny ran away. Gracie has been sleeping in two hours spurts and has been clinging, which as far as I'm concerned is just fine. I'm pretty clinging myself, and it's nice to have at least one of my kids within reach at all times. Gracie also keeps asking everyone if they are going to run away. Davie is wracked with the guilt that his vote led to the choice which led to his brother leaving. I really which Jack's guilt was something our kids didn't inherit. Charlie is spending every moment he can at our house. Cassie's flying in from school. We would have objected more strongly, but it was the week before Thanksgiving, so she'll only be missing three days of school. And if she was anything like us she wouldn't get anything done in that time anyway.

Jack coped by driving. I refrained from telling him the odds of him randomly driving around the streets of Colorado Springs and spotting our son. I did however insist on him sleeping when his tiredness became a danger.

I spent all my time sitting in the living room, periodically checking to make sure the porch light was still on. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I drank some coffee half way through day two. How could my baby have already been gone that long?

I hear something at the door. I know it's probably just my imagination like it has been time after time. But that doesn't stop me from running to the door.

I fling it open, and there is Becca. I grab her up in my arms before I even see my son shifting from foot to foot behind her. I've got both of them in my arms and I'm sobbing. I hear Davie behind me. "Mom, what…"

"Davie," I say turning to him, "Call your father, and then Becca's parents. Tell them we found them."

"Get into the house," I say to the other to.

"I should go home," Becca says.

"Not a chance in…no…you'll wait for your parents here. Don't want a chance of losing you, again," I say. There is pain in my voice.

"I'm sorry Mrs. O'Neill," she says softly.

"So now it's Mrs. O'Neill," I say herding them into the living room, "Miss Becca and her respectful terms. Where was the respect a day ago when you nearly killed your parents with worry by running away?" I ask.

"We got married," Johnny said so softly I can barely hear him.

"What?" I squeal.

"We got married," he says putting a protective arm around Becca.

"You are a minor, Johnny," I look at Becca, "You are both minors. You cannot get married. Not without parental permission. I'm pretty sure neither of you had that. So you may think you are married, but you are not."

Becca sits down in the chair looking pale. Johnny sits down next to her, putting his arm around her again.

"This attempt to get married caused by our moving?" I ask.

"To another galaxy Mom, that gate could break, and I would NEVER see Becca again," he says.

"So you talk to us kid. We would have asked Becca's parents if she could join us. We would have talked about you living with your Grandpa Jacob, after all you are seventeen and almost done with high school. We could have talked about solutions. We would have treated you like an almost adult. Right here. What you did," I indicate the two of them, "was not adult. You have lost the chance to be treated like an adult. We're a lot less likely to move heaven and earth to make sure you stay together, when you are acting like a couple of immature kids," I'm furious, and they might as well know it.

"What if she's pregnant?" Johnny asks barely audibly.

I hear the sound of the phone Davie was calling on in the kitchen hit the floor.

I sit down on a chair, "How far along are you, Becca?" I ask. Damn it all, I can't yell at a pregnant woman, no matter how much she deserves it.

"Johnny, this is just going to make it worse. I'm not pregnant Mrs. O'Neill," she says looking at me directly and honestly. I'm so glad Jack wasn't here for that. He would have had a heart attack.

I take a deep steadying breath, "You would lie about having a baby? Seriously, Johnny? I…I can't even believe this," I say putting my head in my hands.

"I…I couldn't leave her. I couldn't live without her. I thought if we were married. But that didn't work, because we weren't married. So I went to the back-up plan…" he begins.

I interrupt, "Your back-up plan was to lie about getting her pregnant, and what…we would have realized there wasn't a baby eventually, Johnny."

"I figured we'd be married, we could have a baby," he said.

I'm so furious I literally see red around my eyes, "So you thought it would be a good plan for two seventeen year olds to have a baby on purpose? You wanted to bring this baby world before you'd gotten stuff figured out. Your behavior is nowhere near mature enough to raise a child. What were you thinking!"

Neither of them says a word. I look at them, and remember how glad I am that they are safe, "Do you want some food? When is the last time you've eaten?" I ask.

Johnny doesn't answer or meet my eyes. Becca smiles, "If it isn't too much trouble, Mrs. O'Neill…"

Johnny cuts her off, "But it's not because we didn't have any food. I took care of her. We ate well."

I sigh, "I've been yelling at you, and you deserve it. Deserve every word of it, but I also want you to understand, it's because I was worried sick about you. I was so angry, because it was so scared. That I'm glad you are home. You can always come home, no matter how stupid you have been, and that I love you-" I look at Becca, "both of you. I'm still furious, but I love you. Now come and eat. You are bound for more lectures tonight, and you are going to need your strength." I pull both of them in for another hug.


	20. Return

Jack's POV

November 2004

"Dad?" Davie's voice asks. Then there is the clink of the dropping phone. I'm panicking. I mean what does this mean? We've already got one kid missing. Is the house under attack now or something?

"Davie! Davie!" I scream. I hear what sounds like someone scrambling for the phone for long slow agonizing minutes.

"Sorry, Dad," he says, "I was just surprised."

"Surprised by what?" I ask.

"Becca's pregnant," he whispers into the phone, "I don't think I was supposed to hear that."

"I'd imagine not, so Becca is there, she's ok?" I ask. So my son ran away with his pregnant girlfriend, and then she comes to our house without him. That makes less than no sense.

"Yeah, Johnny's here to," he says, "They both look fine."

"Next time you could lead with that news. I'm coming right home. Is your Mom yelling at them? Not that they don't deserve it, but I don't want them to take off again."

I hear the sound of Davie moving closer to the living room, "Ah, not anymore, she's offering them food."

Good job Sam, I thought in my head. God, I wonder where they slept. I wonder if that pregnant teenager has been getting enough food. I wonder if she's even been to the doctor. I'll take care of them. Then I'll kill them. Once my Grandbaby is all safe and sound. Uh! I could have used a few more years to adjust to the idea of being Grandpa.

"Ok, I'll be home soon son. You've got to call Becca's parents. Tell us she is safe at our house, and they should come for her. Don't tell them she's pregnant. That should not be done over the phone, and it should be done by their daughter. Then call the police and tell them we found our missing persons. Do you understand?" I ask.

I hear the sound of his head rubbing against the phone in a nod, "Ok, if you need help ask your mother."

To bad Cassie's fight didn't get in for a few more hours, she was really good in these situations. She was good in emergencies, she will make a good doctor.

Twenty minutes later

"Jack!" Sam says giving me a hug as I come in the door. As much as I love hugs from my wife I'm focused on other things right now. Johnny and Becca are both sitting at the table, eating as if they haven't seen food since they left. I'm really hoping that isn't the truth. I give my son a long squeeze filled hug, and a kiss. Then I give Becca the same treatment.

"Are you guys ok?" I ask leveling my piercing eyes on first my son, and then Becca. They both nod, neither of them making eye contact with me. I sit down, "Now you have to realize that what you did is not the way to deal with a problem. I'm not going to yell at you tonight. Rest assured I will yell at you. But right now I just want to know if you've been to the doctor yet Becca."

She looks at me confused, "I'm not hurt, Mr. O'Neill."

I give her a smile which I hope will make her feel more comfortable, "Sweetie, Davie told me about the baby."

"We're not having a baby," Johnny says.

I take a deep breath. Ok, draw up an anti-abortion speech, quickly, "Have you ever heard that two wrongs don't make a right?" I ask. They are both listening, but they look confused. "You guys have a lot of options. There is adoption. The world is full of people who would love to have a little baby…"

Becca cuts me off, "I'm not pregnant Mr. O'Neill."

Oh God, they already did it. They ran away from home and killed by Grandbaby. I have to say something that won't show my pain. I have to say something that wouldn't make them hate me. That won't build some permanent barrior between us.

Sam's voice breaks in and I feel her hand making slow circles on baby, "She was never pregnant Jack. That was a lie they told me. Becca came clean seconds later. I'm so sorry you were misinformed." I suddenly feel exhausted.

"You lied about having a baby?" My voice sounds tired, drawn in my own ears.

"I'm so sorry Dad," Johnny says.

"They also tried to get married. Or thought they did get married. They didn't know about being under aged," Sam offers.

"Your actions tonight are so unbelievably irresponsible. We're not going to talk about this tonight. Did you call Becca's parents?" I ask Davie.

He nods. "Yeah, they are on they're way."

"And the police?" I ask.

"Yeah, they talked to Mom," he says.

"Ok, so Cassie's flight comes in a half hour. We'll put her in Johnny's room," I say.

"Where am I going to sleep?" Johnny asks.

"There is a couch in our bedroom," I say. "Trust is a precious thing, son, you're about to find out what happens when you lose it."

"So I'm supposed to sleep in your room forever? I'm seventeen!" Johnny protests.

"No, you aren't you are seven. You've been alive for only seven years. You've made that abundantly clear by your actions. Seven year olds through tantrums, and run away from home. Seventeen year olds have discussions and solve problems like adults. And you won't be sleeping in our room forever, just until you've earned your trust back. Now I'm going to supervise your getting ready for bed."

"Can't I wait until Becca's parents come? I should help explain," he says.

I sigh, "From what I heard Becca is better at explaining this than you. But that at least was a responsible request. Yes, you can stay up until her parents come."

I glance at Sam, "Who is going to go pick up Cass?"

"I'll do it," I say.

An hour later

Sam's POV

Jack returns with Cassie in tow. And Cassie has…Luke in tow.

"I know it's kind of late, but Luke just stopped in to see if everything is ok. He'll go to the hotel in a little bit," Cassie says with a smile.

"Nonsense, he can stay here. He can stay in Grace's bed," I say.

"Where is Grace going to stay?" Cassie asks.

"Your father has already decreed" without consulting me, I might add, "that Grace will sleep in Johnny's room, and Johnny will be bunking with us for the time being.

"I don't want to put you out," My daughter's boyfriend says politely. I've had it up to hear with politeness people dating my kids. I'd prefer rude and honest any day. But that isn't fair, Luke hasn't proved himself dishonest.

"No trouble at all," I say with a smile.

"So the kids are alright?" Luke asks looking genuinely worried.

"Yeah, stupid, but alright. Becca's parents came and got her," I say.

"And Johnny is?" Jack asks.

"Brushing his teeth," I say.

"Whose is supervising him?" Jack asks.

"He can brush his own teeth," I say.

"Yeah, well we thought he could sit in his room and feel sorry for himself without supervision, and that turned out to be a lie," Jack says scurrying up the stairs.

Cassie smiles at me, "When is the last time you slept?"

"Before," I mutter.

"Where are the little girls?" Cassie asks.

"They are both in bed," I say with a smile.

"Ok, you go to bed. If they wake up I'll take care of it. You go get some sleep. I'll make sure Davie gets to bed alright too," she says.

"You don't have to do that Cassie," I say.

"What do you think I came down here for?" she asks me.

Was it only a year ago when I was taking care of her? "When did you grow up, Cass?"

"Go to bed Mom," she says gracing my forehead with a kiss on the hairline. Now three generations of my family have given that kiss. From my father to me, from me back to my father, from me to my six babies, and now one of those babies gives it right back to me.

The next morning

I'm the first one up. Or at least I think so as I slip out of bed and go down for breakfast. I walk down the stairs, and see a glint on the ceiling. A glint which turns my stomach. It's a diamond ring reflecting a stream of light onto the ceiling. Something a normal person would find beautiful. Something that turns my stomach. The first time I saw that…it was my mother's funeral.

I was still stunned. Family members made me go see her. Her wax figure body. It seemed so real. Pulling me kicking and screaming out of denial. I couldn't breathe. They told me to touch her. I refused. Aunt Jasmine took my hand, brushed my fingers against her cold plastic flesh. I recoiled in horror, they didn't even notice.

They didn't want to bury her in her wedding ring. Aunt Jasmine slipped it off her cold dead finger, and onto mine. It was horrible, but I couldn't manage to protest. I couldn't actually talk at that point.

So I walked into my mom's funeral with her diamond wedding ring on my pointer finger. It caught the light from a stain glass window and reflected it across the ceiling of the church. A lovely pattern, one that kept me sane through the funeral. But one I've had no desire to see ever again.

Jack knew this, which is why he never bought me a diamond ring. But here is a diamond ring shimmering on the ceiling of my kitchen at 0600.

I hope they haven't heard me. I sit on the steps, and try to get a hold of myself. I've figured out what it means. My baby girl is getting married. She's grown up. She's ready. I would be happy if I weren't grieving for a mother I lost more than two decades ago. I'll just sit here and breathe for a bit before I offer my congratulations.

Five minutes later, and my breath hasn't returned so I go back up to my bedroom. Johnny is still asleep on the couch, and Jack is sleeping on our bed. I lay on the bed, and stare at the ceiling.

"What is wrong?" Jack whispers.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," I say.

"What is wrong?" he repeats, "Still upset over our stupid son?"

"Mmm…I'm blaming you for all of Johnny's stupidity, after all he is your clone," I whisper.

"Yeah, but I'm sure you'll still take credit for his brilliance," Jack says.

"You got it."

"So what's wrong?" he asks again. Damn it, should have known I can't distract my husband.

"I'm pretty sure Cassie is engaged," I whisper.

He sits up and grins. Then he looks at me again, "You didn't let her tell you when you were wearing that face." He looks really confused, "Is there a reason we're not excited about this?" I love how he talks about us like we are one person.

"Uh…she didn't exactly tell me, I just saw a diamond rings reflection on the ceiling."

He curses…in Arabic, and draws me into his arms. I start to cry. I work really hard at keeping my crying silent, but Johnny is sitting up on the couch in a second.

"Mom, I'm sorry," Johnny says.

"As much as you have made your mom cry, this one isn't you, kid," Jack says.

"Mom, what is wrong?" Johnny says concerned.

I sob harder. Jack bites his lip, "Look, your mom just had something remind her of her mom's death. She'll be ok soon."

Johnny crawls up on the bed next to me, and I feel like he needs a lesson, "I'm not crying because of you this time, but I did plenty of crying when you were gone. You understand that? It's been over twenty years since my mother died, and it still has the power to nearly destroy me. Imagine if I lost a son. That would take me even longer to get over. Do you hear what I'm saying?"

He nods, biting his lip.

"And as far as you thinking you're ready for parenthood, you aren't. You can't handle that kind of worry. I know this because, you didn't even know it existed. Someone who is ready to be a parent, would not worry their parents. And until you are ready for kids, you shouldn't be thinking about kids, or marriage, or sex. Understand?" I glare.

He nods.

"Ok, now go get ready for the day," I say pointing him toward the bathroom.

"I hope I can at least shower unsupervised," he says sarcastically. I'm about to say we can trust him, but Jack cuts me off.

"There aren't any windows in that room, go ahead."

"So how long are we going to torture him?" I ask when he's out of earshot.

"Until it becomes more a punishment for us than him," Jack says.

I give him a playful smack. Then I grow serious, "Ok, so what are we going to do about the underlying problem?"

"I figure we give this a few days to blow over, and go ask Juliet's parents if she can come with us before the two go Shakespeare destructive."

"Not funny Jack," I say.

"Not meant to be, young love is stupid."

"Ok, and if Juliet's parents are too pissed to say yes?"

"Then we leave Romeo with his Grandpa, do you think Jacob would agree?" Jack asks.

"I'm sure, but we could also stay," I say.

"See, that sounds suspiciously like a kid throwing a huge tantrum and getting his way," Jack says.

"And you ways aren't? I'm pretty sure he doesn't care what planet he ends up with Becca on."

"Probably right, but I'd prefer the first one. I'm not ready for all our kids to start leaving us," Jack says. I curl in against his side. "So Cassie's getting married?"

I grin, "Looked like it."

He crinkles his forehead, "Was she wearing the ring last night?"

"I didn't notice, so that is probably no," I say.

"So you think he proposed before six in the morning? I don't think I like that. That would be like an in bed proposal. Cass deserves better than that," he says.

"They slept in separate beds last night Jack. I doubt they could even pull those together. Besides they were eating breakfast. But he could have proposed to her before, and they just didn't want to tell us until things are settled."

"That makes sense, not wanting to mar the good news," he says.

"We agree it's good news?" I ask.

He pulls away and looks at me, and turns a statement into a question, "I think she's ready?"

I nod, "I concur. You think Luke is good enough for her?"

He laughs, "A father never thinks a guy is good enough for his daughter. But yes, I like him well enough."

"Let's go see if she'll tell us the good news," I say with a smile.

"You ok?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say, and I really am.

"You still going to be ok when she shows you the ring?" he asks.

Good freaking question. I sigh, "If not I'll explain to her why I hate diamonds. I've told the story twice, three times can't be that hard."

Jack gives me a kiss.

"If you are going to force me to share a room with my parents then least you could do is not make out in front of me," Johnny says having emerged from the bathroom.

"You call that making out boy? I'll show you what making out looks like," Jack says pushing me against the bed and kissing me thoroughly.

"Nasty," Johnny says leaving the room.

"Jack, is that really the lesson you want to give our son right now? I mean he just ran away from home with his girlfriend."

"Yeah, that was probably pretty dumb," he says with a sigh, "My hot wife was impeding my judgment."

"Yeah, go ahead and blame me," I say giving him an elbow in the ribs, "I'm going to go torture out son a bit. You check on the little ones."

"Deal," he says.

"Yo, Johnny, you still in there?" I ask knocking on the door of his room.

"Mom, seriously! I'm getting dressed!" He exclaims.

"So you're not crawling out the window?" I ask.

"No, mom," He says.

"Ok, I'm waiting for you," I say in my most obnoxious voice.

"Seriously, mom, I'll be down in a few minutes," he says.

"Ok, I'll be waiting for you right here," I say.

It's only a minute later when he opens the door in exasperation. I grin at him. "Do you have to enjoy my punishment Mom?"

"Yep!" I said excitedly. "That's how I know we're doing it right. Now let's go see your sister."

My heart was thumping when I saw the reflection of diamond on the ceiling, but I marched into the kitchen. Cassie turned at the sound of my steps, and her face was full of rapture. My eyes fall to her hand, and my smile, congratulations, and hug are all quite genuine and involuntary.

I pull my soon-to-be-son-in-law into my arms next. "So when did you pop the question?" I ask.

"Actually a month ago, but Cassie wanted to tell you in person," he says.

"Welcome to the family," I say giving him his very first hairline kiss. He seems rather taken aback by this. After all I haven't seen the kid since last summer, and only a total of eight days in our whole lives.

"So when is the big day?" I ask addressing Cassie again. Johnny has given his sister an awkward hug. I can tell he's a little angry that the news of his 'marriage' wasn't greeted with the same rapture as Cassie's engagement. He doesn't get that he's still play acting while she's serious.

"Well, we were wondering when exactly in the summer you guys would be at the lake this year. 'Cause I am not getting married without my family there!"

"Darn right you aren't!" Jack says coming around the corner with the little girls walking behind.

"Daddy!" Cassie squeals jumping into his arms. I'm not sure if Cass has ever called Jack Daddy before. When we adopted her she was already eleven. Right at that age where terms of endearment like Daddy are least likely to be used.

"Hey, Cassie girl, you're getting married?" he says catching her and spinning her around.

"Yes," she says.

"Good for you," he says sitting her down, and touching her chin lightly. Jack turns to Luke with a serious face on, "You do know you are beyond lucky to be marring my daughter, don't you?" Jack asks.

"Yes, sir!" Luke says with an incredibly earnest face. Jack puts out his hand as if he's going to shake hands with Luke, but instead pulls him into a Jaffa style hug.

Then Jack turns to Cass, "Uh…I talked the president a long time ago about the possibility of your eventual marriage, and some classified things from your childhood."

"Yeah?" she says.

"Once you are engaged, and a certain paper signed you would be allowed to tell your fiancé said classified information," he says. Oh, that is so Jack. I should have thought of that.

"Really?" she squeals.

"Presidential order," he says with a grin, "You know how the president likes me."

"Oh thank you Daddy!" she says hugging him again. There is about a second pause as she comes down from his embrace. "Well, go get it already Daddy!" He chuckles.

"Classified?" Luke asks sounding totally confused. "I knew you parents and your brother were all in the military, but I didn't think you'd ever served."

Cassie laughs, "I didn't. And I'm not even going to try to explain, because as soon as you sign that paper I'll never have to lie to you again."

Luke looks at her deeply hurt, "You've lied to me?"

"Classified Luke, that means she had to. Gracie girl, go wake up Davie, and tell him to get down here, he wouldn't want to miss this," I say. Grace is off like a rocket returning before Jack with her brother in tow. Cass tells Davie the good news, and he flings himself upon her as only a person with ADHD can do.

Jack hands Luke the non-disclosure agreement, and Luke signs it without reading or even looking at it.

Cassie smiles at him taking his hands in hers, "I'm an alien."

He laughs. She expected it, and keeps looking at him unflinching. "Ok, funny joke. Now tell me what's going on," he says.

"When I was eleven years old the people on my planet contracted a disease and died. The whole planet. That's the nightmare I have sometimes, and couldn't tell you about." God, she still has nightmares about it? "Mom was part of a team which found me, and brought me to earth. Then they adopted me."

He squints at me, "I thought you were Air Force not NASA," he says.

"How good is this security clearance?" I ask looking at Jack.

"Oh it covers big twirly, and snakeheads," Jack says leaning back in his chair with a grin.

"We found an artifact in the Egyptian desert which is thousands of years old. It is capable of instantaneous transport to other planets. That's what Jack and I have done with our careers. Traveled to other planets."

"You're not an alien Cass," he says shaking his head.

"How do you know?" Cass challenges.

"You're human…I've…" Luke blushes a deep read, "You're human."

"Of course I'm human!" Cassie explains, "Another alien species populated the world with humans from ancient earth. So I'm 100% human. But I did spend the first eleven years of my life on a planet called Hanken."

"So Toronto was…" Luke asks.

"Complete fiction. That's why I used to get so annoyed when you kept asking about it. You thought I had some deep trauma from something that happened back there, and really I was just tired of making up stories," he smiles at him, and takes her chin in his hands, "Tired of lying to you."

"But you did have a deep trauma," he says brushing his fingers through her hair, "your whole planet Cass?" he asks with aching voice.

She sighs, "Yeah, over 10,000 people. My parents. My little brothers."

He doesn't say anything, but just pulls her unto his lap, and rubs up and down her arms.

"So they had a disease?" he asks, "Were you sick when they found you?"

"No, I was immune," she says.

Jack snorts. Everyone turns to look at him. "Oh come on? Immune? Is that how we are spinning that one? The nasty snakehead used her as a Trojan Horse."

"What?" Luke asks.

Jack leans forward, "You see a long time ago there was a battle in a place called Troy…"

"Dad!" Cassie says rolling her eyes at him. "Snakeheads is my father name for a parasitic alien that invades your brain and takes over all of your actions. Their real name is Gou'ald."

Luke is trying to follow. He really is, but this is a lot to take in. "Luke, there are these evil things called Gou'ald. They hated people from earth so they came up with a way to destroy us. They knew we were interested in Cassie's planet, because a black hole was going to be visible from there before long. So this one Gou'ald, her name was Nir'ti released a disease on the people. She made it so everyone on that planet would die, except for Cassie. But she put a bomb in Cassie. In her blood with a rare element called naquada. We took Cassie back, because we thought we gave her planet the disease, and because, well, she was all alone, and I'd already fallen for the girl." Cassie smiles at that, "And going through the gate-that's what we call that artifact-made the bomb activate, and she was going to blow-up. We…" and after all these years it still chokes me up.

"I'm fine Mom," Cassie says leaning way across the table to give my hand a pat. Then she turns back to her husband, "I almost blew up. Mom had orders to leave me in the missile silo underground. She couldn't do it. I didn't go kaboom, and here I am," she says with a grin.

"So you still have this…" Luke asks.

"Naquada," I supply, "Yeah, she still has it in her blood. Actually so do I, but for a different reason. It's not harmful. It doesn't affect anything. It is a little hard to explain when you go to doctors that aren't on the military base, but your cover story has been working right babe?" I ask.

Cassie nods, but she's biting her lip. "I can sense things with it…like Gou'ald pretending to be people. And I can also work ancient technology. Not ancient as in old. Well it is old, but I don't JUST mean old. I mean built by another group of aliens called the Ancients. Man this isn't simple is it?"

"Ah no, I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that I'm going to marry an alien. Are your siblings all terrestrial?" he asks glancing around.

"Ah, I'm both an alien and a clone, and the verdict is still out on the human part," Johnny says cavalierly.

"You're human," the family all says with an eye roll. It's a debate we've all had with Johnny privately and together many times.

"And Grace was born on another planet too, but she lived there for less than a month," Jack adds.

"But that trip to a classified location they are planning…" Cassie says.

"Holy shit, you guys are going to go LIVE on another planet!" he exclaims. Then he catches sight of the little girls, "I'm sorry," he mutters.

"Yeah, we're going to go live in another galaxy, on another planet," I say.

"In a city that flies," Jack adds helpfully. He never stops being amazed by it. And I know that in his heart of hearts he wants nothing more than to fly that thing. Too bad he will probably never get that chance.

"And we'll get to visit them for Christmas," Cassie says grinning, "Wait, he gets to come right?" she asks.

"Of course!" I say.

"So is there any things I should know about with you being an alien? Any freaky mind reading abilities?" Luke joked.

The whole room is silent.

"What?" he asks obviously unnerved.

"Well, I never read minds," Cassie says tentatively.

"But she did briefly move things with her mind," Jack supplies.

Luke just stares at her.

"It was when I was sixteen," she says as if that explains it all.

"The nasty snakehead we talked about before, Nir'ti, messed with her genes. Almost killed her AGAIN," Jack says.

"Messed with her genes?" Luke says looking panicked.

"With a retro virus," I say knowing that would mean nothing to him, "So there are no lasting effects. She's cured. The changes are not in her DNA anymore, and wouldn't be passed on to any, children…should you choose to have children," I say when I receive a glare from Cass.

"So this bad guy…girl…snake…whatever has it in for you? I mean, how do we keep you safe?" he asks worried.

"Nir'ti is dead, all the Gou'ald are dead. And they weren't really snakes so much as…as parasites…they are kind of…" Cassie says.

"Snake like," Jack supplies.

Cassie rolls her eyes.

"So are there any other intergalactic monsters out to get you?" Luke asks holding his fiancé very protectively.

"No," she says with a smile.

"Any other disease or side effects of horrible trauma I should know about?" he asks.

"Other than my little brother scaring the living daylight out of me, no," she says glaring at Johnny.

"So how long am I going to be tortured about this?" he asks.

"I don't know what's the average lifespan of a post-Tok'ra?" Jack says looking at me.

"Tok'ra?" Luke asks.

"Right…ah…so these Gou'ald's are like evil parasites, but there are other parasites that are exactly like them in every way, except they are…good. And Johnny, and actually my Grandpa Jacob who you have yet to meet, used to have Tok'ra inside of them."

"Hey, what about Mommy!" I say.

"Right, I always think of Johlinar as Gou'ald since she took you over without your permission," Cassie amends.

"And tried to kill us," Davie adds.

"You're mother tried to kill you?" Luke asks in horror.

Jack puts his arm around me, because he can tell I'm about to cry.

"It wasn't her, just someone temporarily occupying her body," Cassie says.

"You also forgot that your father is part of the post-Tok'ra club," Jack says.

"Right, but I never knew you when you had the Tok'ra. You were off rescuing an ex-girlfriend."

Luke looks at me, probably expecting me to come unglued, "It wasn't actually Jack's ex-girlfriend, but the Tok'ra's. Jack still doesn't even know the girl's name."

"At least that is what I told my wife, "Jack says with a conspiratorial face.

"Ok, I think Luke's head is about to explode, let's let him absorb this stuff before we tell him anything else," I advice.

"There is MORE?" he asks in shock.

"A lot more," Jack says.

"I think we hit the high points," I counter.

I hear Dad's voice at the door, "Johnny?"

"Grandpa," he says, but he doesn't run to the door. No one does, not even Davie.

Dad comes around the corner, and if his eyes could still flash I'm sure they would have, "Young man, could you explain to me what you were thinking running away from home? Trying to get married? When you get married it should be a celebration, a happy day. Not a trick to get your way."

Cassie puts out her arms to hug him, completely forgetting about the ring. But he sees it immediately, and gives he a big hug, "And that goes for you too girl! But I don't have to tell you that do I? Now who is this fellow who mistakenly thinks he's worthy of you?"

Luke stands up, and extends his hand. Jacob gives him a hand, and pulls him into a hug. The same way Jack did. The Tok'ra and the Jaffa may have their differences, but the culture is the same, right down the handshake. Well, the Jaffa may be bigger on revenge and the Tok'ra have a love affair with science, but basically.

"Ok, good for you kids. Now Jack," he says turning toward him, "I'm assuming you are going to turn over the keys to the prisoner when you go to Atlantis?"

Johnny looks hopeful. I don't suppose he figured he still had a chance to be in the same half of the universe with Becca.

"We haven't decided that yet," Jack says, "We wanted to talk to Juliet's parents before we made any decisions."

"Ok Friar Tuck, just make sure you check the credentials of the Apothecary. We wouldn't want the foolish kids to have a permanent death."

"Mmm…forever deaths are rare once you've made friends with the ascended," Jack says.

My Dad's eyes go pointedly to Luke.

"Oh, Luke has security clearance now Grandpa," Cassie says.

"Then you really are part of this family. I used to have a scary alien voice to warn you not to hurt my Granddaughter in. But since Selmak died you are going to have to be satisfied with scary Air Force General," he says.

"Hey, she already has to General parents," Jack says.

"I still outrank you Jack," Dad says with a grin.

"Hey, they offered me a second star," Jacks says with ruffled feathers.

"Yes, but you didn't take it, something about wanting to stay home with my Grandbabies. Speaking of Grandbabies where is Grandpa's hug?"

The little girls rush in for a hug. He picks one up in each arms.

"Just remember Jack, I still outrank you. I will always outrank you. And I may be old, but I will still beet the C-R-A-P out of you if you ever hurt my daughter," Dad adds.

"Really Jacob, I thought we were beyond threats," Jack says with false reproach.

"Just wanted to let the boy know he wasn't alone in being threatened," Jacob says smiling at Luke.

"'Dampa, ai'pane!" Abby says spreading her arms wide. Dad starts to set Grace down.

"No me first!" Grace says offended.

"Fi'st!" Abby wails thrusting her head against Dad's shoulder in protest in a way that had to hurt.

"Daddy, knows how to play airplane too," Jack says picking Gracie up.

She looks skeptically at her father, "Grandpa Jacob few real airplanes Daddy." The whole family laughs.

"Apparently you haven't told your daughter any war stories," Jacob says.

"What?" Gracie asked.

"Your Daddy few a lot of Air Planes himself. Mommy flew some airplanes too, but not as many as Grandpa and Daddy. Honey, the Air Force is all about flying airplanes."

"Naw uh! The Air Force goes to other planets," she says.

A moment of silence, nervous silence.

"I see why you homeschool," Luke says sarcastically. Oh, he'll fit in just fine.


	21. Atlantis

Jack's POV

February 2005

You've heard that traveling with little kids is hard right? Ok, well that was said by people who were driving or flying in planes. Imagine being stuck in a tiny spaceship with your four kids plus you son's (groan) fiancé. Becca's parents, Becca, Johnny, and Sam and I struck a deal. Becca comes with us to Atlantis. We accept that they are engaged. In return there is no sex, marriage, kids, or even so much as talk of sex, marriage, kids until they turn nineteen. They break this rule, and we send Becca back to earth that day. Of course in front of Becca's parents we said, "Back to America." They are not big fans of not knowing where their daughter is going. I'm just hoping we didn't lie when we promised them it was not dangerous.

Anyway, back to the trip. Puddle jumpers are small. You think something that is used to transport people into other galaxies would be larger. I suppose the problem is that the people who originally invented Puddle jumpers had no intention of it being a method to transmit people across galaxies, much less doing so with a load of kids. They are after all the same people who invented Stargates.

I get to drive. I'm not fooling myself. I know that Sam loves to drive awesome things at least as much as I do. The only reason I'm driving is Sam's complete lack of the ancient gene. That's right I'm flying a ship with my mind, can you say awesome?

Johnny and Becca are sitting very close together on the seat. It's not like we're in a Gou'ald cargo ship where there is only two seats. Not that puddle jumpers have excess seating, but there is room enough they don't need to be nearly on one another's laps. Davie and Gracie are trying desperately to see space. It's a bit hard considering the fact that Puddle jumpers are a little short on windows, and we're in a half finished space station.

"It's not fair, this is my first trip through the Stargate," Davie protests, "I didn't even FEAL it. In your stories about Stargates it was intense!"

"Inertial dampeners," I say with a shrug. I actually don't have a clue if that's why the trip is easier in the puddle jumper. But I do know that puddle jumpers have inertial dampers, and it sounds plausible. Even to my genius children.

Sam gives me a look of distain. Crap got that wrong. "Actually it's the greater surface area."

My genius children nod, because that is all the explanation they need. And I'm their teacher?

I wish the intergalactic bridge midway station was finished. As it is we are spending our entire quarantine in the puddle jumper. Davie is already pacing. Abby is fussy and clinging. She was trying to cling to me, but Sam told her not to bother Daddy while he is driving with his mind. Not that I am really driving. I mean it was for like a foot through the gate. Now we're just sitting here.

"I can't believe I'm in OUTER SPACE," Becca says quietly.

"It's pretty amazing huh?" I say with a grin.

"I was born in outer space," Grace says.

"No you weren't," Davie says with an eye roll, "You were born on a planet."

"Planets are in space," Gracie says.

"By that logic EVERYONE was born in space, because earth is a planet too," Davie says.

Grace sticks out her tongue at him.

"Daddy," Abby whines.

"Yeah, kid?" I ask.

"Daddy," she whines slower and longer.

Now I have a guess of what she needs, "Abby, do you have to go potty?"

She nods her head.

"Sam, do they **make** ships with a bathroom?" I ask.

"No, you'll have to put on space suits, walk to the finished part of the station, and then take off the suits…" Sam begins. I've figured out the procedure by now.

"Can you say design flaw?"I ask. Have you ever tried to put a toddler in a space suit? It's something what I imagine putting gloves on an octopus would be like. Not easy. I finally get her all suited up, and we're about to head to the bathroom when I feel her tugging on my shirt.

"Daddy?" she asks.

"What Abby?" I ask back.

"Nebermind," she says.

"What?" I ask.

"I went alweady." Worse than snowsuits.

"Ok, then we'll get you changed," I say with a smile.

"Jack," Sam says.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"What were we thinking?" she asks.

"Hey!" Davie protests.

"Anyone else need to go to the bathroom while we're at it?" I ask. Four hands go up. If only I could talk to an Ancient engineer.

A week later

Imagine teaching a child with ADHD in a freaking alien city on an alien planet. I've given up on his education for now (he's in that awkward between high school and college phase anyway). My main goal for Davie this week is to know his location most of the time.

Incidentally the same goal I have for his older brother. But really the punishment of never leaving Johnny alone is just a formality now. He realizes how stupid he was and isn't going to run away time soon.

Becca is an obedient student. She's working on her senior year of high school. She's smart, but needs a bit more guidance than my other two.

Today, we're taking the day off.

"Sam, I need your authorization to borrow a puddle jumper," I said.

"What do you need a puddle jumper for?" she asks.

"Field trip," I say.

She grins at me, "Want to **really** fly one of them? Eh Jack?"

"I want to provide the children whose education I'm responsible for with educational opportunities that…" I begin.

"If puddle jumpers had keys I'd be throwing them to you right now," she says.

"I've already got the key," I grin at her, "I've got the ancient gene."

"Stop rubbing it in," she says knocking my shoulder. I would have been less eager if only I'd remembered what it's like to have five kids in a puddle jumper. Which still doesn't have a bathroom.

March 2005

"Jack," Sam's voice is panicked. Are the wraith coming? "Davie…" she stammers.

No, no, Davie is working on a computer program. He's fine. "What?" He has to be fine.

"He's…something shocked him," Sam says.

"Is he ok?" I ask.

"Yes…uh…I don't know. He isn't as effected as much as you would expect him to be. And that worries me."

"He's in the infirmary?" I ask.

Twenty minutes later

"As far as I can tell, he's fine," Dr. Becket says.

"As far as you can tell? He's my kid, be sure," I say dryly. Sam puts her arm around my back in a way that says both shut up you idiot, and I'm sorry you are in so much pain.

"I've run every test I can. Bloodwork, MRIs, X-rays, the lot. I found no anomalies in any of the results," Dr. Becket says.

"He was shocked by a device created by the Ancients! I mean, who knows what kind of long-term effects I could be in for. I mean, there's gross mutation, giantism, invisibility…?" I begin.

"Cool? You really think I am going to turn invisible, Dad?" Davie asks.

"Not cool kid," I say.

"I don't know Jack, you enjoyed it the time you went invisible," Sam says with a grin.

"When was dad invisible?" Davie asks. You can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't know if we're joking or not (we're not).

"I didn't think we were supposed to talk about that one Sam," I say.

"Bedtime story tonight, kid," Sam says with a mischievous grin.

"Now tell me what exactly you were doing touching some alien technology that you did not know the purpose of," I ask.

"I told you I was going to program a computer Dad," he says calmly. Sincerely looking as if he's confused by the question.

"So you were programming an Ancient computer?" I ask.

"Clearly," he says.

"Ok, for future reference don't touch Ancient technology," Sam says.

"Does this mean I have the Ancient gene?" Davie asks excitedly.

"Of course you have the Ancient gene," I say.

"You knew?" he asks.

Sam answers, "Honey, your DNA was taken when you were born."

"And you never bothered to tell me?" he says obviously offended.

"Hey Davie, you got your genius brain from your mother, and your ability to turn on alien technology from me," I say.

"So I can fly a ship with my mind?" he asks.

"Not until you are old enough to get a driver's license at least," I say.

"I'd go with eighteen," Sam says.

"Right eighteen," I say.

An hour later

Sam and I are eating in the commentary. Our kids like to eat with the Athonian kids, and it's a nice time for the two of us to chat. "Jack, how exactly was it that our kid was wondering around the uninhabited part of the base?" Sam asks giving me a glare over her lunch.

Davie turns from across the room. He tilts his head looking confused. He walks towards us looks right at Sam, and says, "It wasn't Dad's fault Mom," he says.

"What are you talking about, honey?" Sam asks him with a smile so sweet if I hadn't just heard her blaming me I would have thought her incapable.

"Mom, I heard you blaming Dad," he says squinting his eyes together. Probably wondering about all the other times his Mom has lied to him. I also find myself alarmed that Sam is a good liar.

Her mouth is hanging open, "You couldn't have heard that," she says.

"That's true, but I did hear it," he says mystified.

The cookie on my plate makes the slightest motion, and Davie looks at it startled. He holds out his hand to the cookie. It flies into his hand.

"Honey, did you forget to tell us you got superpowers?" Sam asks.

Davie burst into tears.

I jump up, and throw my arms around him, "Hey, hey, what's wrong buddy?" I ask.

"I…I don't know what's going on! I got zapped by alien technology, and….it did something to me!" he exclaims.

"Right, scary stuff, kid. How about we finish our lunch, go to the infirmary and have Dr. Becket have another look at you? I'm sure it's going to be ok. We're going to figure this out," I say.

"Yeah, it's ok," Sam says smiling at Davie (a smile neither Davie nor I will ever trust in the same way again) "Super powers aren't scary."

Half an hour later

Before we even get into the infirmary I know that we will not be taking my son in there right now. Through the walls (even with normal ears) I can hear the hustle and bustle yelling that only happens when the place is being overrun by some horrible tragedy.

"We'll just wait here until things calm down," I tell Davie with a smile.

Davie acts like he didn't even hear me. He pushes through the door and into the gore. I know what happened as soon as we get through the door. One does not easily forget the smell of burnt flesh once one has smelt it. Davie walks over to a man so fried that it is almost difficult to tell he is a man. He puts his hands right on the burnt flesh. I'm terrified that when he pulls away the flesh will come with it. I've seen that happen. I don't want my kid to be seeing this. I desperately want to shield the child from this.

He holds his hands there, and a strange light radiates them. By the time the light fades from his hands the burn is gone. The man opens up his eyes, and looks at Davie. His mouth forms a silent and startled thank you. The smell of burnt flesh still lingers, but the horror of burnt flesh is gone.

Dr. Becket looks at my son, "What did you do?"

"I…I healed him," Davie says tentatively.

"How?" Dr. Becket asks.

Davie shrugs.

"Davie seems to be developing some ah…Ancient powers. Super hearing, telekinesis, healing," I say.

"Telepathy," Davie adds barely audibly. I frantically try to remember if I thought anything I didn't want my son to know in the last hour.

He looks up at me and laughs. Crap! Of course he could read that thought as well. "Dad, you are pretty much an open book," he says.

Well, I could find a lot of people who would argue that point. Particularly Charlie's mother. But I suppose with my kids, with Sam, I was far more open than I had been with any other person at any other point in my life.

"Well, let's get you checked out," Dr. Becket says.

A day later

Davie has been adjusting to his new powers pretty well. Especially since at any given moment he doesn't know what he is able to do, and what he is not able to do. It scares me how quickly his new powers are developing. But with a kid who is able to read minds, you cannot afford to be scared. Having your kid read you mind is actually a really good exercise in self control techniques.

We've been taking Davie in for tri daily check-up's since his unusual talents began to develop. Dr. Becket pulls me aside after one of them. By aside, I mean a long way away and with lots of doors between us. Even so Dr. Becket whispers, and I'm not entirely sure Davie can't hear us. Even if he can't there is still a pretty good chance that he'll be able to read whatever it is about all over me when I come back in.

"Colonel O'Neill, I'm concerned about the level of brain activity Davie has," he says.

"Davie is a smart kid," I say.

"Granted, and most of us use most of our brain each day. But we rarely use over 10% of it at any given time, Davie is up to 40%."

"Johnny has extra parts of his brain activated," I say.

"Yes, but those are specific, and fairly small areas. With Davie we are talking about large hunks of the brain which are not used to working together, working in overdrive," he says.

"Ok, what does this mean?"

He lets out a sigh of resonation. The sigh is so like the ones I'm used to hearing coming from Janet, that it makes me a little homesick for the doctor, "I'm not really sure. But I'm not too sure that it's healthy."

Just then Sam joined us looking pale and worried, "Jack, they just finished translating what was written on the devise Davie activated."

"What did it say?" I ask.

"It's an ascension machine," she says.

"What?" I exclaim.

"Apparently not all the Ancients ascended naturally. This machine alters the DNA of whoever uses it. It is supposed to hurry them along the path of ascension. But apparently there was a problem. The machine could help them along the physical path of ascension, but most of ascension isn't physical. There is a spiritual element to it. If they person is not psychologically able to ascend they…" her words choke off in a sob.

I hold her in my arms and she cries hard. Sam doesn't cry often, but when she does it is soul shaking kind of sobs.

"Die, our son is going to… die!" she says barring her face deep within my shoulder.

"No, he's not going to die. We'll find some way to stop the process. Or we'll find some way to get him to ascend. We know that you can descend after you have ascended. You work on the science, and I'll work on the spiritual. We'll save him, Sam. I promise," I say.

Sam lifts up her head, and she's already in warrior mode.

"How long do we have?" I ask Dr. Becket.

"His brain capacity has tripled in a day, so…" he begins.

Sam lets out a startled half sob.

"So, we'll hope it slows down," I say rubbing her back. But what I really want to do is go run to my son. Sam has much the same thought so we head out of the room together.

It turns out that we did get far enough away that Davie couldn't hear us. But as soon as he sees his face he knows. And he crumbles where he stands, like his legs have just been turned into jelly.

"I always thought…thought I would get to do something really great. That I would give the world something amazing. Something that would change the way people thought forever, and for always. Something that would get my name into the history books. I always thought I'd get to get married and have kids. Now…I feel like I've wasted all this time. I mean all that time I couldn't focus? All that time I spent running, doing jumping jacks? I should have been curing world hunger or coming up with the universal theory or doing something that mattered! I've wasted my whole life!"

Sam kneels down on the floor in front of him. She takes his chin in her hand, "You listen to me, kid. You get more time. I'm promising you more time. Do you understand that? Your life is not over. But you haven't wasted your life. You are just a kid. Kids are supposed to have fun, to learn. You've done those two things haven't you?"

He nods.

"Ok, we're going to solve this two ways. You are going to work really hard on learning how to ascend. You are going to meditate, and not worry about anything else. I'm going to worry about the science. You understand? Ok, your Dad is going to help you meditate. Try hard, just in case I can't fix it in time," she says with a worried face.

If we lose him, she's going to blame herself. That kind of guilt…that is the kind of thing that can crumple a person, destroy a life.

"I thought I'd call Teal'c, ask him if he could stop by and teaching him some meditation techniques. Until he comes I thought Sheppard would be useful, after all he did spend that time with Ancients," I offer.

"Good plan, and I'll send everything in the Ancient database that has to do with ascension through a speed translator. I'll get them to you as soon as they are done," Sam adds.

"Great, let's go relax, kid," I say offering Davie a smile. When I help him up his legs are still like those of a rag doll. He is barely functioning.

A few hours later

I've never been that big on meditation, prayer, psychology, philosophy and any of the many other things that take place only in the head with no outward evidence. I've always sort of presumed that people who claim to be meditating are really taking the world's best nap.

And now my son's life depends on his ability to become a world class mediator in a matter of days. Teal'c is coming to help in a few hours. Meanwhile we have an ascension machine that shows Davie how much of his brain is working on meditation at any given moment.

The hard part is trying to get someone with ADHD to meditate. It isn't even the motion that is the hard part of it. His mind can't focus on anything for more than a couple of seconds. It bounces through topics like a ping pong ball moving at the speed of light in a ten foot room.

There is no way in hell he's going to be able to empty his mind long enough to ascend.

"Dad," he says slowly. "I have an idea." With the ascension meter still plugged into his head he stands up and starts doing jumping jacks. His concentration level jumps from 40% to 60% with this simple action. Then he starts muttering "e=mc squared" over and over. It jumps to 87% for a little while before he loses focus.

"How did you do that?" I ask excitedly.

"Well I couldn't think of nothing. So I figured the next best thing is to think really hard on one really complicated thing. Did I make it?"

"Not quite, but really close," I say. I can't believe my son meditates better while running around than when he was lying on the floor relaxed.

A day later

I shouldn't have been nervous. Davie had hit the ascension mark time and time again. I was sure he could do it. Or at the very least I was sure he could do what we thought was required. I knew that after he ascended he could descend.

But I was terrified. Terrified that the glamour of ascension would take my son from me, that he would choose that life instead of his family. Terrified that the ascended beings would see through his cheap trick of ascending only to descend and either force him to stay ascended or let him die. Terrified that in the end he would be a little boy scared and unable to focus. Terrified that even if everything went right it still meant that I was going to have to watch my son die. Die slowly, painfully, without pain pills which would dull his ability to meditate in those last crucial moments.

"Mom, you still have my explanations of the meaning of life equations right?" he asks nervously.

"Yeah, I have them," Sam says with a smile. She isn't about to tell him that they don't make any sense to her. That they are way too smart for even one of the smartest people in the world to understand. She's afraid if he knew that he would try to hold on in order to fix them.

The meaning of life equations he's talking about are the physics portion of the combined knowledge of the four great ancient races: Ancients, Asgard, Nox, and Furlings. Sam has been studying them in her free time (ha, like she has free time) since before Davie was born. She's never been able to make head or tails of them.

But among Davie's many super powers was the unexplained ability to understand all the equations at a glance. When he still thought he might die he made it his mission in life to write explanations to the equations. He thought it would make it so humanity would be able to benefit from them.

But society will have to gain a few thousand collective IQ points before that happens. Sam figures his explanations are probably about halfway between what we can understand now, and the originals. Maybe in a hundred years we'll be able to grasp them.

"I need to stand up," he says his forehead wrinkled with worry.

"You're too sick," Sam says trying to calm him down.

"No! I need to stand up!" Davie shouts.

"Honey, you've reached the mark plenty of times lying down," I assure him.

"I need to be sure," he says with eyes that make my heart ache so much that I do the stupid thing, and I pull him up. He starts to run in place. He's so sick the motion is something between pathetic, and hilarious. He begins to mutter a formula. This time it's one from the Ancient knowledge. One that mere mortals can't even comprehend.

His lips move over the unfamiliar words, his arms and legs move in a frail attempt at a jumping jack, and then…his lifeless body falls. A light, much like the one that leaves his hands when he was healing, but much larger rises up. It pauses for one second above our heads. Then it waifs away.

"God Jack!" Sam screams. Some part of my brain is trying to comfort her, but I can't actually manage it because I am completely immobilized by my own grief.

Hours later

I'm sitting alone in Davie's room. Just sitting on his bed, with my head in my hands. An army of volunteers are with my grieving children. Just as well. I don't want to be an example of how to grieve. Sam wanted to say with me. I begged her to leave me alone.

I'm trying to worry about them. Trying to worry if they are ok. I can't. All I can manage is pain.

I remember when Sarah died. I felt like this. Like nothing mattered. Like I was sinking in quicksand. Like I didn't even want to live anymore. Not without Davie.

I wish there was a way to stop the pain.

My son died. I couldn't save him.

"Dad?" a tentative voice says.

Am I going nuts?

"Dad? What is wrong?" Davie's worried voice asks.

I turn to him. He's laying on his bed. An inch away from me.

"Davie?" I say.

"Yeah, Dad," he says.

"Oh, my God, are you ok?" I ask scooping him up in my arms. I don't even care that he's currently naked. He does.

"Jeez Dad, let me get dressed first ok?" he says.

"You were dead," I say stunned. But I loosen my grip on him. He gets up and starts getting dressed.

"Yeah, kind of part of the process, Dad," he says.

"But you are ok now? I mean are you in pain?" I ask.

He laughs, "No Dad, I'm fine."

"I mean the death part, it looked…" but I'm too choked up to continue.

He tilts his head. "Actually I don't so much remember the death part. I suppose that is probably for the best."

"So do you remember being ascended?" I ask.

He looks thoughtful for a long moment, "I remember there was something important. Something good. But I didn't care. I wanted to get back to you guys."

"And here you are," I said pulling him into a hug.

"Seriously dad," he protests.

"You just came back from the dead, I think you can put up with a couple of hugs," I say.

"Maybe you should go tell the rest of the family, Dad," I say.

"Oh my gosh!" I say heading toward the door.

"Wait…Dad," he says. I turn toward him.

"Uh…when I came back you were…." He begins.

"I was sad," I say looking in his eyes, and letting him see the pain deeper than words.

"It was more than sad Dad," he says, and he looks confused.

"Yes, I love you, kid. If you died it would destroy me."

"I don't like that Dad," he says slowly.

"Yeah, well deal with it kid, it's called parenthood," I said giving him a nuggie on the top of his head.

"Sam," I say. She doesn't look up, just reaches her arms to me. Preparing to grieve together. But Davie is the one who fills them. She squints at him in surprise, and I think her heart is nearly going to stop. I leave them there intertwined in other another's arms. I go off to find his siblings, each one of which greets him with the same kind of rapture.

May 2005

Earth-Gran's Cabin-Minnesota

It would be hard to not be reminded of my own wedding when attending my daughters. This would be true even if it wasn't at Gran's cabin. But that makes it even more personal. Cassie's wedding is bigger than ours is, but it's still an intimate affair by the lake. I tease Cass, because half of the people here are closer to our age (or at least Sam's age) than they are to Cass's. What can you do? The SGC is a pretty intimate little family, all told.

There are differences between Cassie's wedding and our own of course. Cassie has flowers that don't make any of her siblings nearly sneeze to death. Cassie's cake is store bought, and holds up to the gravity in all its relentlessness. The day of her wedding is sunny and bright, and the stringed quartet has no intention of leaving. And no one got near Cass's dress (Sam made sure of that!).

But when I put my daughter's hand in her husband's large one it was the exact same as our wedding, the exact same looks on the bride and groom's faces. You could tell they both thought they were the luckiest people who had ever lived just for having the privilege of marrying on another.

I didn't have any doubts that my daughter was picking the right guy to marry, but if I had had any doubts they would have evaporated when I saw that look of absolute adoration on his face.

When I slip back into the pew next to Sam I glance the ceiling. Someone's ring must be making a reflection as far as I can figure it. I've never seen Sam blubber like this unless she was having a flash back to her mother's death. But I don't see any reflection on the ceiling.

"Mommy ok?" Abby asks with her forehead wrinkled with worry. All the rest of our children are in the wedding party. Grace is flower girl. Johnny, Davie and Charlie are groomsmen. Becca, and Luke's twin sisters are bridesmaids.

"I'm…just….so…happy!" Sam blubbers.

Abby looks at me with a look that plainly says, "Mommy is nuts," and then turns to her mother, "Happy people supposed to smile, Mommy," she says.

And Sam does smile. Smile with tears streaming down her cheeks.

An hour later

It's funny how a year away can change things so completely. It's certainly true for teenagers. Davie is watching Hessina, Daniel's daughter, with a constant blush on his face. The two of them grew-up together, and were always good friends. This was especially true during the time they were homeschooled together by Sha're.

The last few years they went through that rocky 'opposite sex has cuddies' stage. They pretty much avoided each other on all the team nights for two or three years. They probably haven't had more than five minutes of contact in that time.

Then Davie goes to another planet for a year, they both hit puberty, and he's looking at her like she's an Ancient computer we're going to let him reprogram (he of course is not allowed to touch Ancient computers anymore).

She's wearing this truly gorgeous dress, and her hair in a ridiculous hairdo that probably took Sha're an hour to do. She's got her two little siblings, and every other kid with interest together in a big circle. She's got them spinning them around. I can tell my son is lost every time Hess thrusts her head back in a laugh.

"Why don't you go ask her to dance?" I ask sliding next to my son and helping him hold up the wall since this is apparently his new goal in life.

He looks pale as he chokes out," I can't do THAT dad!"

"Why not?" I ask.

He blushes, "It's HESS!" he says.

"Friendships sometimes turn into something more," I say looking at him.

He blushes even deeper, "But I'm going to be going back to Atlantis in a week. It wouldn't make any sense…" but he stops, he never finishes the thought.

"It's just a dance," I say.

He looks at Hess, who at that exact moment lets out a laugh. I have to admit, the girl has a gorgeous laugh. "What if I want it to me be more?" he asks so quietly I barely hear him.

"Then there is e-mail," I say. I like that idea. My son only being able to communicate with a girlfriend via computer.

Davie smiles, "Thanks Dad," he says. And he walks over. He stands behind Hess for a few seconds. Then he lightly taps her on the shoulder. She turns. When she sees him, she smiles. He bows low like a ballroom dancer. She smiles, awards him one of her giggles.

They begin dancing as only two fourteen year olds can-with much enthusiasm, and without much skill.

Daniel scurries across the room to me, "Is that...?" he asks.

"Well, I don't know what's going on in your daughter's mind. But Davie's certainly thinking romance," I say.

"Well, I like that!" Daniel exclaims.

"Is that a compliment to Davie, or a comment on the fact that he lives several trillion light years away?" I ask.

"Both Jack!" he exclaims.

Now four of my children are dating. Charlie broke up with his high school girlfriend, Liz shortly after he went to college. Since then there have been a few girls, but he wasn't really serious about them. He brought someone to the wedding, Jessica, but it's hard to know if they are serious. Certainly not as serious as either of his younger brothers.

I look over, and see Abby is dancing Teal'c's son. I groan inside. I don't need her growing up as well!


	22. Quarantine

Jack's POV

August 2005

Atlantis

Quarantine. Really? And Abby isn't with me. Becca took her to the bathroom. It's not that I don't trust Becca. I do. But we're under quarantine for goodness knows how long, and my little baby isn't here.

Johnny doesn't like being separated from Becca anymore than I like being separated from Abby. Which bothers me.

"Dad can we have a conversation that is exempt from the 'send Becca home rule'," he asks.

"Is it important?" I ask.

He nods.

"Ok," I say looking seriously at Johnny.

"You've seen how Becca is with Abby, right?" he asks.

"Yes, she's great with kids, that doesn't mean she's ready to be a mother," I say.

"I know Dad, but she really wants to be a mother…and my DNA," I look at him. God, how long as he known? "It's impossible…just…"

"I'm so sorry Johnny," I say rubbing his back.

"I've actually come to grips with it. I mean like you said, adoption is pretty awesome, only…" his voice softly fades away.

"You haven't told Becca?" I guess.

He shakes his head, 'I really want to marry Becca, and what if the idea of no kids…"

I stop him mid sentence, because the kid is being seriously absurd. "Seriously Johnny, have you looked in that girl's eyes lately? She's in love with you, head over heels in love with you. Yeah, she's probably not going to be thrilled about this news, but it's not going to be a deal breaker. Not a chance. Tell her so you can stop worrying about it," I say letting the absolute confidence that I felt into my voice.

"Thanks Dad," he says.

Sam's POV

August 2005

Why couldn't the quarantine have waited thirty minutes? Thirty minutes from now I'd be having my daily lunch with my family. I'd know that they were safe, and that they aren't the ones that are sick. I really should be glad that I am here, somewhere where I can accomplish something. Here I can help people, but, I would still much rather be with my family.

What really kills me is the fact that the radios are not working. If I could just call Jack up and ask him if everything is alright I would feel so much better about the whole thing. As it is I can't help keep the little worry from the back of my mind.

Jack's POV

Davie coughs. We all look at him in horror.

"I'm fine," he says, but his wide eyes belie his words.

My mind scans the room like a warrior. Something I actually haven't done much since I retired from the Air Force. It's funny I always figured that wasn't the sort of thing you lose, because you aren't using. But for the most part it did. I mean there are still times when my body goes into full alert. But it's not like when I was going through the gate all the time, and my body was constantly in a state of full alert.

We're in Sam and my bedroom, it's the room we use for schooling during the day. It's got some cursory medical supplies-Advil, Tums, ace bandages, and a few band-aids. Not exactly the kind of thing that is going to stop an Ancient plague, or whatever this happens to be.

I reach over and feel Davie's forehead.

He rolls his eyes.

"You want to lay down?" I ask.

"No, I want to finish a computer program that is due next week in one of my classes. I'm going to have to send it on Friday's earth contact, or it is going to be late.

"Ok, but if you are sick, one late assignment is not the worst thing that could happen…" I say.

"I'm not sick Dad," he says, and he almost sounds like he's offended by the suggestion.

Sam's POV

Stupid city. It has a self-destruct. It's given up on us. Usually I think there is a place where you need to cut your losses. A time when you need to say, alright for the good of the universe it is my time to die.

But it's different when you have kids. There never comes a point when things get so bad you're willing to let you kids blow up in order to save the world. A little bit of hope is enough to risk it all, when you're talking about your children.

Of course the city is wrong, there is no disease. My kids are not at risk. Not even the tiniest chance. And now the city is going to blow them up. I have to figure out how to turn this off. Stupid Atlantis!

Jack's POV

"Are you ok?" I hear through the door.

"Sam? Yes, we're ok," I say.

"Everyone's ok in there?" she asks sounding frantic. This must have been hard for her to be without any of her kids. It was hard enough for me to be away from one of them.

"Abby and Becca aren't here," I say.

"What?" she says panicked.

"Becca took her to the bathroom, I'm sure they are fine, Sam," I say, "Did you cure the disease?"

"What? Uh…no, Jack. There is no disease. There was never a disease. Where are they?" she asks her voice still laced with worry.

"Sam, we're fine in here, if you want to go find them we can wait for you," I say.

"Ok, actually someone is working on the door. I'm going to go check on them," and I can tell she has already started to move.

A few hours later

Sam has been laying in the bed next to me for thirty minutes now. But she isn't in any danger of falling asleep.

"You ok, Sam?" I ask.

She nods.

"You want to go check on them again?" I ask. I know that hovering over her children is something that helps her when they have been in life threatening situations. She has been doing this less lately. I don't know why.

"No," she says.

"What's going on?" I ask turning to her in a way that she can't easily avoid answering my question.

She bites her lip, "Are we doing the right thing here? I mean we've taken our kids to another galaxy. To a place that could be taken over by the Wraith any given second. To a place where they really could get an alien disease. Where the stupid city could BLOW THEM UP FOR NO REASON! What kind of irresponsible parents are we?"

"Sam," I say looking away, "You once told there were good reasons to take risks. That they were worth it to see amazing things. To experience life changing events, like going through the Stargatge. That all of life is a risk. That we could die on our way to the grocery store. Kids die on earth. No matter how hard you work to keep your kids safe unthinkable things can happen."

"Yes, but the risk goes up when you take your kids to another planet. Do we have the right?" she asks.

"They choose this. Even Johnny when we told him he could bring along his Juliet. We didn't force them to come. They love the adventure, and they haven't seriously been hurt," I point out.

"Are you kidding me, Jack?" she asks in horror, "Davie DIED! Or did you manage to forget that?"

"God, of course I didn't forget that. My son died! But he's fine now. They are all fine," I say.

She pouts a little, "And they are too young to choose this. At their age they think they are invincible. They think nothing will hurt them."

I pull her face into my chest. She relaxes against me. "Sam, if you want to go home I'll pack the kids up tomorrow. But I have to be honest with you. I think this is the place for them," I say.

"I…couldn't stand it if I lost them," she mutters.

"Ditto, Sam. Ask Davie what I'm like when I think I lost one of them," I say.

"I know," she says softly. I run my finger across her back, and I hold her until she falls asleep.

November 2005

It was supposed to be a diplomatic mission. But go figure, anything that involves aliens, and the Stargate does not go according to plan. Sam's overdo for a check in. I decide this would be a good time to take my kids on a field trip to the control room. The technicians are far from fooled. Davie is in his element though.

The kid eats, sleeps, and breaths computers. I asked him the other day if he thought in binary code. It was supposed to be a joke, but the kid took a really long time to answer.

"No…I don't really think in it. It's deeper than that, truer than that." He'd said at last. I know that more than anything Davie wants to get his hands on the gate. It's the ultimate computer. But, no one is going to let a fifteen year old fiddle with a gate.

Johnny and Becca know how to handle themselves in a situation where they aren't really supposed to be here. But my younger girls do not. Abby likes buttons. The control room of Atlantis is not a good place for a two year old who likes buttons. Gracie likes questions. She's smart enough to ask good questions. But these questions can also get obnoxious. Really obnoxious. Especially when the questions are sometimes good enough that the gate techs can't answer (although in those cases usually Davie can).

I want to stay in the control room. I want to be here when Sam comes home. I want to help her get home. But I can see our welcome is being worn thin.

"Dad, how about I take the little kids back to our room, and finish off their lessons. Abby has a puzzle to put together, and Gracie has a page of subtraction right?" Johnny asks.

"Yeah," I say, "That would be great."

"Ok," he says, "and after that I can feed them, and get them ready for bed if you want."

"I'll help," Becca says smiling. Her smile make my heart ache a little. Johnny knows he'll probably never have kids of his own. She knows it too. They both want kids desperately, and at the tender age of eighteen they know they'll probably never get them. Who says knowledge is liberating?

Hours later

Sam walks through the gate. Her hair has grown long since she left SGC. She wears it tied back in a pony tail between her head. She flashes me a week smile.

"You got some quality time with McKay?" I ask trying to lessen the tension with a joke.

"Sure, we found out who his favorite commanding officer was," she says with a smile that lets me know there is more to her words than there appears to be. But I can't wrap my head around exactly what that "more" might be.

"It was me right?" I ask.

Sam giggles, "It certainly was, Jack," she says.

"Samantha!" McKay shouts like she's just let a huge secret out of the bag, but I can't figure out what the secret might be.

Jennifer giggles, "We were picking the most handsome."

"What?" I exclaim fixing a menacing glare on McKay.

"They made me choose! We were playing would you rather," McKay protests.

"You'd better not have been playing would you rather Missy," I say fixing a glare on my wife, "unless the answer was always the same."

"Oh, come on Jack, it was hypothetical," she says with a grin.

"Yeah, so once were our children," I say remembering the name we had for our children before they existed.

"Not the same," she says.

"Glad your back," I say.

June 2006

Earth-Gran's Cabin-Minnesota

Another wedding at the cabin. They are becoming quite the tradition. Johnny and Becca have been waiting for this for a long time. They waited four days past Becca's nineteenth birthday. It's a tiny wedding, not much larger than the one they tried to have two years ago. But for this one their parents and siblings are here.

Becca throws a bouquet over her shoulder. It lands on the lap of Mary, Charlie's new girlfriend. She wasn't standing up in the crowd pushing and shoving like the rest of the girls. When she caught it Charlie puts his hand on hers, and their eyes lock together just long enough that I'm pretty sure this place is going to be seeing more weddings in the future.

My kids are aging fast. Cassie and Charlie finished off their Junior year or college while Johnny and Davie scrambled all over themselves to finish their sophomore year before the other one. Johnny is double majoring in physics and political science. They go together to form the discipline he invented "political astronomy". Davie however is doing computer science. He'd be far ahead of his brother, having only one major, but he's become the go to tech guy of the Atlantis base. Turns out geeks are pretty accepting of young people doing an adults work, most of them did it themselves when they were that age. Grace finished her third grade year, even though she is only six. Abby at three seems to actually have normal intelligence, and hasn't really started school yet.

Charlie sits down next to me at the reception. He has a funny look on his face, and Mary is no where to be seen.

"Dad, can I ask you a question?" he asks his cake.

"Of course, Son," I say.

"How did you know Sam was the one?" he says. I don't answer right away, and he looks up at me.

Ok, not what I was expecting.

"Part of it was the way she was around you. I'd look at her and just know that she was born to be your mother," I say.

Charlie makes a face, "Well not only is that a little creepy, it doesn't help me at ALL."

I laugh, "You reach a point in every relationship where you stop being nervous. Where you stop trying to be better than you are. One day you just let her see you as you are, and she does the same. You know she is the person if you like the person she really is. If you know you want to spend time with her. If you are sure you will still want to spend time with her in a quarter of a century. When you realize you can't imagine your future, or even next weekend without her. When you literally can't live without her, that is the moment when you know you've found the one."

"Wow," he says.

"Yeah, it is a wow." I say, I examine his face, "Are we thinking you've found the one?"

He blushes. I love that he blushes at things like that.

"Did you love my mom like that?" Charlie asks.

Charlie, and I haven't talked about his mom in a long time. I should be doing it more. Sam would probably yell at me if she knew how long I've let this talk go since the last time we did it. "Yeah, Charlie I loved your mother like that. But…each love is a little different. A person is lucky to get to love someone like that once, let alone twice. I don't love Sam the same way I did your mother. I don't love her more or less, just really, really differently."

He smiles, "I think I get it."

"Kind of like how I love each of you kids differently. Except with wives you have to pick one at a time," I tease.

"Yeah, I get that," he says.

"So…should I be saving some of these decorations for next summer?" I ask.

"So the cabin has become expected?" he asks.

"No way kid, you can get married wherever you want! I was just trying to find out if marriage was on your mind," I exclaim.

"Ya think?" he asks with his Daddy's smirk on his face, "but I actually like the idea of the cabin. Nothing is for sure yet, so don't start printing the invitations quite yet," he says.

It is less than an hour after this conversation when Johnny slips away from his new bride to provide me with the most truly awkward of conversations.

"Dad, I've wanted to ask you about this for awhile, but it was a taboo topic for us until recently. Becca thinks I should wait and talk to you later, but I don't want to wait. It's important. My honeymoon will be much better if I know your answer. Even if it isn't the answer that I want."

"Ok," I say, simple because the pause got big enough I had to fill it with something.

"Dad, you know that I can't have kids…" he begins.

"You don't know that, you should give it some time," I say comforting.

"Dad, I know a lot about DNA, you have to believe me when I say that I can't have kids. I know we talked about adoption, but the fact is Becca can have kids. Part of wanting to marry someone is wanting to have a kid that is part of them. I know that happens anyway, just from raising kids. But Becca, and I want the closest thing to OUR children that we can have."

"Ok, I can understand that," I say with a smile, "I'm assuming you have some sort of plan," I say.

"Well, we thought we'd use a donor," he says, and he's fidgeting. I think I'm already supposed to have figured out what he's asking about, but I haven't a clue.

"Ok, that sounds like a pretty good plan," I say.

He smiles, "So you'll do it?"

"What?" I sputter.

"Dad, I'm your clone. I have almost all of your DNA. If you were the donor it would almost be like my kid"

I seriously can't believe he just asked me that. And that he doesn't seem to be expecting my complete and total shock, "Let me get this straight, you want me to get my daughter-in-law pregnant?"

He looks at me surprised, "You wouldn't be doing it in the traditional way. It would involve cups, and Petri dishes, and syringes."

Ok, apparently my kids buy the whole 'dumb daddy' thing I do. "I realize that, but there are still some moral implications you haven't considered," I say very slowly like I'm explaining this to a small child.

He blinks at me.

"For instance I would be this child's father and grandfather," I say.

"Well, genetically you would be the father, and socially you would be the grandfather. But the two roles exist to two separate planes. I don't see as how they would conflict," he says.

"So you are saying my role as father ends at conception, and my role as grandfather occurs thereafter," I say.

He nods.

"Ok, I get that, Johnny I really do. And I understand why you want to do this. But they made major modifications to your DNA. So this kid wouldn't really be like yours. And DNA…is just DNA. You could find anyone to donate, and it would still be your kid."

He bites his lip, "I even thought about the possibility of doing modifications to your DNA to make it more like mine, but there is a 92% chance that would result in the same mutations which nearly killed me. There is a good chance that the child would not survive. If they did survive they would go through pain. I don't need a kid that is exactly like me, just close enough," he says.

"Johnny, I understand why you want to do this. I'm just not sure….I'm not sure if I can get over the 'gross' factor. That's not really a reason to say no. And I'm not saying no, at least not yet.'

"Ok, and Dad…there is always your other clone too, so don't feel pressure. It might be less weird for him since he barely knows me. Although he remembers you knowing me. But…I'd rather it actually be you…if that means something," he says.

"I'll think about it," I say.

"Thanks, now I'd better go back to my bride. I shouldn't be leaving something that beautiful alone for long," he says standing up and walking away.

Sam sits down next to me, "What was all that about?" she asks.

"He was just asking me to father his children," I say casually.

She laughs. She thinks I'm joking. I'm going to tell he I was dead serious, but not until the party is over.

Sam's POV

March 2007

Atlantis

Now I'm really worried. It's the second week in a row that there has been no word from Cassie. I hear from my two earth bound kids at least once every weekly data burst from earth. For two weeks she's been silent now. I bite my lip and compose an e-mail to her asking her what is wrong. It kills me that it wouldn't be sent to her for a whole week, even though it's not much different than the one I sent her, last week.

Jack is sitting next to me, "Did you hear from Cass?" I ask, trying to make it sound casual.

"No," he says looking both startled and worried by my words, "I thought we'd be hearing from her on whether or not she made it into medical school by now."

I nod.

Becca walks into the room. It's still a really weird experience for me to be in the same room as my daughter-in-law, ever since she's been carrying my husband's baby. At first, we both at a strong gut reaction against Johnny and Becca's plans to use Jack as a donor for their baby. I mean it is just weird, and let's be frank, our lives are complicated enough. But it's the right thing, they want a kid so bad, and since Jack gave it to them it really is almost there's.

"I got an e-mail from Charlie," she says.

"Yeah?" I say making a conscious effort to smile through the weirdness. And I remind myself for the millionth time that she's carrying my very first grandbaby.

"He's worried about Cass. She hasn't gotten into any medical schools. Got her last rejection letter last week. It's destroyed her. She doesn't know what she's going to do with the rest of her life," Becca says.

"Why the hell did they reject her?" Jack says puffing himself up in anger.

I grin. I love the protective Daddy thing. It's actually gotten worse since he's lost all practical ability to protect most of our kids.

"Medical school is very competitive. They told her to get some real world experience and then try again," Becca says.

We just had a family meeting in which we decided to spend another year on Atlantis. Each year when they invite me back we vote. Now I'm thinking we should be bringing a little more of our family up here. I'll have to go talk to Dr. Beckett about the possibility of an internship. It's not like Cassie could tell anyone where she has been, but it would be good experience. And even if the letter of recommendation informed the reader the location of the internship was classified, it would certainly make her qualified for any medical school the world has to offer.

Jack's POV

May 2007

Earth-Gran's cabin-Minnesota

I warned all my younger kids in the puddle jumper on the way back to earth. The summer wedding at Gran's cabin has become an annual tradition in the O'Neill family, but this had better be the last one for awhile. The little girls laugh. I fix Davie with an extra glare just to be sure. He looks away.

Ok, he's eighteen. If he does want to marry Hess, Daniel's daughter, I would probably be ok with it. But I would prefer it if he made it at least a two year wait.

Charlie waited until he and his bride graduated from college to tie the knot. His wedding resembled Sam's and mine far more than his sibling's weddings-mainly in the fact that it was a complete and utter disaster.

We can blame Becca for that one. She went into labor. A month early, and breach. Cassie's training took over and she delivered the baby without a problem. She may not be a doctor, but she's good in emergency medical situations. We were going to postpone the wedding until after the birth occurred. But Becca, poor thing didn't have an easy or quick labor. So eventually we gave up and continued the ceremony with Becca in labor in the cabin behind (she refused to have a baby in a hospital).

Just when the pastor said, "If there is anyone who objects to this union," Becca let out an earth shattering scream. It made us all get the giggles-including the pastor.

None the less I feel the same way about this wedding as I did about my other two children. My kids sure can pick the right person to marry. I hope the trend holds out.

An hour after Charlie got married Becca brought my little son/grandson into the world. Thank God they didn't try to name him after me. We're running out of variations on my name. This one is named after Sam, Samuel.

Sam's POV

August 2007

Atlantis

Abby and Cassie are so far apart in ages you wouldn't think there would be much bonding between them. They only lived in the same house for a couple of months, and for most of their lives they have lived in separate galaxies. But they have a really strong bond now that they are actually on the same planet.

Abby is almost four, and loves to spend time in the infirmary. It always makes me a little nervous. I mean there is blood, and wounds, and sickness, and panic. But Cassie is responsible. She is more than capable of protecting her little sister. Before she deals with anything huge or gory coming into the infirmary she ushers her sister away.

It's not like Abby doesn't like gore, because honestly, she does. She's all about the gore. Cassie let her watch an appendectomy not long ago. It was all she talked about for a week.

"Time for lunch, Princess," I say knocking on the open door to Cassie's office. I hate that that nickname has actually stuck to my daughter, all these years, but she wouldn't let us get rid of it. It's sort of funny considering that she isn't even a girly-girl. But she'll correct you if you try to give her anther nickname, or simply go to long without calling her any nickname at all.

"Ah mom," she protests, "Cassie is going to draw blood soon."

"How many times have you seen her draw blood?" I ask.

"Not enough," Abby says mournfully, "Hey guess what Mom, I'm going to be an auntie," Abby says with a smile.

"You are already an Auntie," I say, "Samuel is your nephew."

"And also my brother," she says. I cringe. Davie has been giving her genetics lessons. Great. Our lives are complicated enough without trying to explain them to a four year old.

"Not really honey. We'll just stick with him being your nephew," I say.

"Right, but I'm going to be an Auntie again," I say.

My eyes bulge, "Who?" I ask. Sam is young enough that I know he isn't getting another siblings, especially since they would need Jack's help for that. Charlie just got married, and he wasn't planning on having kids for a year or two. Besides Abby doesn't talk to him much, so it must be….

"Cassie, of course," she says with a roll of her eyes, "She's my sister, so I'm her baby's auntie. I keep telling people that, and they think I'm a liar. They think I'm too little to be an auntie. But I really am, aren't I Mommy?"

"Cassie's having a baby?" I ask.

She nods. We've been walking from the infirmary to the lunchroom for our family lunch. But I spin around. Cassie is doing some paperwork. I pull her into a hug.

"Congratulations, Cassie!" I say holding her tight.

When I pull back she gives Abby a glare, "I was going to tell you all at super tonight," she says.

"Cassie, I didn't know you were planning on having a baby," I say carefully. I'm not sure if this baby was planned. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to be thrilled.

"Well originally we were going to wait until I'd finished medical school. But that was a long time to wait anyway. Then I didn't get in," she begins.

"You are going to get into medical school," I scold.

"Well even if I do Mom," she says with a smile, "It's still four years until I'll be done. Luke and I decided that was way too long to wait. This kid is planned," she says with a gleeful grin.

Jack's POV

May 2015

Gran's cabin, Minnesota, earth

It's Sam and my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. But to the untrained observer it might look more like a family reunion or a circus. I am struck by how incredibly lucky I am. I have the most amazing family a man could ever ask for.

There is Cassie, a doctor and mother of two lovely children.

Charlie, who has followed in his parents footsteps (perhaps a bit too much) and is now a Major in the Air Force and the leader of SG-2, Sam's old job.

Johnny and Becca have three children (which are in a way also my children, ew). Johnny did accomplish his goal of creating the job of political astronomer. He works at the SGC as a sort of diplomat/mission coordinator. He knows more about what kind of people live on what planet than anyone else on earth. Possibly the rest of the planet.

Davie is the all around tech guy at Atlantis. The rest of us returned to earth a few years ago, but Davie stayed. Ancient technology is his life, and if any mortal human is going to understand it, it is going to be my son. He did marry Hess, when he was twenty years old. They have tiny baby twins around which all of their lives revolve.

Grace is fifteen years old. Out of all of my kids, she is the only one who stayed away from a life that had anything to do with alien technology. She graduated last year, and is working on her creative writing college major. I keep teasing her that she's going to write an autobiography and call it science fiction, but I'm not so sure I'm that far from the truth. Sam decided to take a job in Washington last year. It was the same one I was offered when I retired. So my wife now outranks me, and I don't really mind.

Little Abby, unlike the rest of my homeschooled children did not skip any grades. She's smart, but normal smart, not genius smart. The way she hovered around Cassie when she was younger we'd always figured she would grow up to be a doctor. At twelve she's made it clear that she has no intention of doing that. She wants to be an extraterrestrial biologist. I keep teasing her that she will end up dissecting two of her siblings.

Sam sits down next to me on our two lawn chairs on the deck. The exact place we've sat summer after summer.

"Before we got married I warned you, you might look back and wonder why you married that old man," I say grabbing on to her hand.

"And I told you that you would never be old to me," she says.

"Surely you've changed your mind," I say smiling at you.

"No," she says squeezing my hands to emphases her words, "No regrets, Jack," she says.

I grin at her, "Well then you aren't nearly as smart as I thought you were, but I'm glad you are selectively stupid," I say.

"Only where you are involved Jack," she says teasingly putting her head down on my shoulder.

Like I said, one lucky man.

AN: I like to say thank you to everyone who has read this story. A double thank you to those who reviewed, and a triple thank you to those of you who correct my spelling and or ignorance of the military in your reviews


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